6 months later....
I haven't updated this thing in a good 6 months.
I'll spare the nitty gritty and give you the short version: I rebounded all summer and had some crazy ups and downs in my quest to discover myself.
I'm really serious these days about discovering who I am without a boyfriend and I gave myself a lot of insight this summer with 2 "relationships". I use those quotation marks because I led on 2 boys and made them think I was more invested in whatever chemistry we had than I actually was.... to the point of changing my facebook status and letting everyone see. Needless to say, I was bombarded with texts from those closest to me wanting an explanation that I didn't have.
Fast-forward to now. A little over a week ago, I went to the Civil War game in Eugene. I won 2 tickets and decided right away that I wanted to take Tyler with me. I know what you're thinking- "Oh, the whole Tyler thing again..." But it's actually been a complete 180° turn-around from what "we" were before I started my relationship with Brent. We began hanging out again about a month ago, and Tyler has become (or is now willing to be) a great communicator. We've hung out 7 out of the past 10 days. We've gotten really close, and we've discussed that now couldn't be a better time to finally get to know eachother on a real level. We've always acted like a couple before, and now I think we both have those feelings to follow up.
He sent me a text shortly before my birthday this year, and somehow he was able to segue into "Would I be wasting my time if I tried to pursue something with you?" I very gently told him yes, and I've been very open about my intentions of being single and learning who I am and how to be alone. He's been very understanding and neither of us is really trying to rush into anything anyway.
When we hang out we hold hands, we kiss, we've even started calling each other "babe" and "hun"... even his friends refer to me as his girlfriend. Yeah, this is DEFINITELY a completely different Tyler. He even admitted it. He said he hasn't felt like this around anyone else... we've both agreed that what we're doing right now is perfect. We're casually seeing eachother without a serious commitment, and we're going at a snail's pace. It's all just reeeeally relaxed, which makes it really easy to be open and honest. We poke fun at our ongoing situation over the past 4 years, calling himself "Addie's fallback guy" and me being "Tyler's guaranteed pussy". It really is funny, I mean, seriously- we'd hang out for a couple weeks and then become too busy to keep in touch and then I'd get a boyfriend and wouldn't be able to talk to him. We're easy to to make fun of... within our circle of friends, the whole "Tyler and Addie" thing is quite the entertaining little soap opera, considering he started out as the boy I messed around with when Bobby and I were on the rocks. EVERYONE knew it, but never talked about it. The "Tyler and Addie" situation has always been the big ol' elephant in the room until now. We're both open about "us" and what we've done and are now doing.
Whatever relationship ordeal we have going on right now is the most sincere and comfortable I've felt, more than with my past boyfriends- and I've only ever been in 2 relationships, both long-term.
Tyler and I talk a LOT about the past four years. I think that's what's bringing us so close together- for the very first time, finally talking about what we're doing and how we feel and have always felt about each other. It feels like every time we see each other we get even closer. We talk a LOT... something I never ever thought I'd be able to do with him. He used to be totally incapable of looking at me while he talked to me, now he can't stop staring at me- telling me how deeply he cares for me, how beautiful he finds me, and calling me his "princess" and all that mushy gushy stuff.
It's never been a mystery- I've always been hooked on this boy, but now it's more than a little crush. We can actually communicate now, and we're FINALLY on the same page in our romantic lives. We both know that neither of us is ready for commitment and we're both more than okay with that and just relaxing and taking it one day at a time.
I really like this. I finally feel like we're compatible, and I'm looking forward to seeing how and where this goes.
Just taking it one day at a time... baby steps...
I'll spare the nitty gritty and give you the short version: I rebounded all summer and had some crazy ups and downs in my quest to discover myself.
I'm really serious these days about discovering who I am without a boyfriend and I gave myself a lot of insight this summer with 2 "relationships". I use those quotation marks because I led on 2 boys and made them think I was more invested in whatever chemistry we had than I actually was.... to the point of changing my facebook status and letting everyone see. Needless to say, I was bombarded with texts from those closest to me wanting an explanation that I didn't have.
Fast-forward to now. A little over a week ago, I went to the Civil War game in Eugene. I won 2 tickets and decided right away that I wanted to take Tyler with me. I know what you're thinking- "Oh, the whole Tyler thing again..." But it's actually been a complete 180° turn-around from what "we" were before I started my relationship with Brent. We began hanging out again about a month ago, and Tyler has become (or is now willing to be) a great communicator. We've hung out 7 out of the past 10 days. We've gotten really close, and we've discussed that now couldn't be a better time to finally get to know eachother on a real level. We've always acted like a couple before, and now I think we both have those feelings to follow up.
He sent me a text shortly before my birthday this year, and somehow he was able to segue into "Would I be wasting my time if I tried to pursue something with you?" I very gently told him yes, and I've been very open about my intentions of being single and learning who I am and how to be alone. He's been very understanding and neither of us is really trying to rush into anything anyway.
When we hang out we hold hands, we kiss, we've even started calling each other "babe" and "hun"... even his friends refer to me as his girlfriend. Yeah, this is DEFINITELY a completely different Tyler. He even admitted it. He said he hasn't felt like this around anyone else... we've both agreed that what we're doing right now is perfect. We're casually seeing eachother without a serious commitment, and we're going at a snail's pace. It's all just reeeeally relaxed, which makes it really easy to be open and honest. We poke fun at our ongoing situation over the past 4 years, calling himself "Addie's fallback guy" and me being "Tyler's guaranteed pussy". It really is funny, I mean, seriously- we'd hang out for a couple weeks and then become too busy to keep in touch and then I'd get a boyfriend and wouldn't be able to talk to him. We're easy to to make fun of... within our circle of friends, the whole "Tyler and Addie" thing is quite the entertaining little soap opera, considering he started out as the boy I messed around with when Bobby and I were on the rocks. EVERYONE knew it, but never talked about it. The "Tyler and Addie" situation has always been the big ol' elephant in the room until now. We're both open about "us" and what we've done and are now doing.
Whatever relationship ordeal we have going on right now is the most sincere and comfortable I've felt, more than with my past boyfriends- and I've only ever been in 2 relationships, both long-term.
Tyler and I talk a LOT about the past four years. I think that's what's bringing us so close together- for the very first time, finally talking about what we're doing and how we feel and have always felt about each other. It feels like every time we see each other we get even closer. We talk a LOT... something I never ever thought I'd be able to do with him. He used to be totally incapable of looking at me while he talked to me, now he can't stop staring at me- telling me how deeply he cares for me, how beautiful he finds me, and calling me his "princess" and all that mushy gushy stuff.
It's never been a mystery- I've always been hooked on this boy, but now it's more than a little crush. We can actually communicate now, and we're FINALLY on the same page in our romantic lives. We both know that neither of us is ready for commitment and we're both more than okay with that and just relaxing and taking it one day at a time.
I really like this. I finally feel like we're compatible, and I'm looking forward to seeing how and where this goes.
Just taking it one day at a time... baby steps...