free bird!
i honestly feel like im becoming a new woman... i feel so free.
talking to my dad last night really helped me understand what im feeling. he was telling me that sometimes people just grow apart like him and cheryl brinster (my sister's aunt). as time has gone on, i really do feel like im growing apart from bobby. i know that i used to not feel that way, but i think the present was inevitable. im not even 20 yet, and ive been in a 3 year relationship that was constantly off and on.
i do understand how bobby is hurt by me saying i didnt want to get back toegther. i can easily put myself in his place now because i've been there a million times before! i still love him and care about him, but i don't feel like being a realtionship anymore. i dont have the energy anymore for anyone to depend on me to be there for them and i dont want to depend on anyone else for a very long time. i want to be by myself and for myself.
i feel like im growing into myself as my own woman, and not as someone's girlfriend. now i know what my shrink was telling me a couple years ago when she told me to think about who i am as a person, not as bobby's girlfriend. over time, it's pissed me off more and more that people were starting to identify me as "bobby's girl" because you know, i have a name... and im more than just someone's attachment.
im taking it day by day, lj entry to lj entry. i feel better about myself and more confident all the time. when i do my makeup, i no longer look in the mirror and think, "will bobby think this is hot?". no- i think to myself "damn, that's hot. period."
okay, self-expression over. time for starbucks with my dad and mary beth. then to grandma's to get wine-slizzard and cook thanksgiving dinner. AND THEN TO
basslinedoll's TO SEE
kchild !!!
talking to my dad last night really helped me understand what im feeling. he was telling me that sometimes people just grow apart like him and cheryl brinster (my sister's aunt). as time has gone on, i really do feel like im growing apart from bobby. i know that i used to not feel that way, but i think the present was inevitable. im not even 20 yet, and ive been in a 3 year relationship that was constantly off and on.
i do understand how bobby is hurt by me saying i didnt want to get back toegther. i can easily put myself in his place now because i've been there a million times before! i still love him and care about him, but i don't feel like being a realtionship anymore. i dont have the energy anymore for anyone to depend on me to be there for them and i dont want to depend on anyone else for a very long time. i want to be by myself and for myself.
i feel like im growing into myself as my own woman, and not as someone's girlfriend. now i know what my shrink was telling me a couple years ago when she told me to think about who i am as a person, not as bobby's girlfriend. over time, it's pissed me off more and more that people were starting to identify me as "bobby's girl" because you know, i have a name... and im more than just someone's attachment.
im taking it day by day, lj entry to lj entry. i feel better about myself and more confident all the time. when i do my makeup, i no longer look in the mirror and think, "will bobby think this is hot?". no- i think to myself "damn, that's hot. period."
okay, self-expression over. time for starbucks with my dad and mary beth. then to grandma's to get wine-slizzard and cook thanksgiving dinner. AND THEN TO
basslinedoll's TO SEE
kchild !!!