(no subject)
Helllooooo livejournal!
Time for a horrible, rambling, talking-about-nothing entry, more than likely cut short since I am awaiting a phone call from James.
What the fuck. So much has changed. Everyone has changed. Everything is so much fucking different than it used to be. I don't really have a place in anything anymore. It's like, I'm on my own...doing my own thing. But it's a totally different feeling.
Is nostaligia just what it is?
I mean, I'm happy. Sometimes. Don't get me wrong. Happier than I have been.
I'm just waiting for things to settle so I can be content and not so stressed. Or bored. Who knows.
I dunno I have this stupid cloud hanging over my head and it's not even like anything in my life sucks.
Maybe I'm still too stuck in what life used to be.
Cause it aint the same. Just the places and a few of the faces.
I dont know what anyone thinks of me anymore. I'm not that social butterfly, knowing everyone hanging out with everyone always somewhere to be found and picking up the phone. I'm not playing music or drawing or partying. Is that who I was? Really? Is it? What was I to any of you anyway? I'm having an identity crisis.
And apparently my friends tell my boyfriend not to bother with me (not you, my friends). They tell him he could do better. I'm a psycho. Doing slutty things and partying without a care sounds characteristic of me. Is that true? Or am I really upholding self respect for no reason? Cause I know where I've been and what I've done. And maybe sometimes I exagerrate to make it sound like I have a lot more fun. But I dont fuck around and I dont do drugs or anything really. I mean I've dabbled in a little of this and that but all in all I think I'm a pretty respectable person. I've got my head on straight as far as the conventional shit goes.
Other than that my head's in a million different places. And it's all getting quite boring.
Where's the zest, people?
I need to get out.
I miss my longtime friends that are all doing their own thing.
I miss high school.
I love James. He worries too much about things I don't do. Paranoia's a drag. But we have the most insane conversations and we are just indestructable together. Don't ask me why, I have no idea. It's a lot of fun. I'm learning a lot. I feel good. Fulfilled.
All the girls in my suite are drunk right now. They are really pissing me off. None of them like me.
I am just really irritated.
I am saying more and more nothing.
So, how are you?
Time for a horrible, rambling, talking-about-nothing entry, more than likely cut short since I am awaiting a phone call from James.
What the fuck. So much has changed. Everyone has changed. Everything is so much fucking different than it used to be. I don't really have a place in anything anymore. It's like, I'm on my own...doing my own thing. But it's a totally different feeling.
Is nostaligia just what it is?
I mean, I'm happy. Sometimes. Don't get me wrong. Happier than I have been.
I'm just waiting for things to settle so I can be content and not so stressed. Or bored. Who knows.
I dunno I have this stupid cloud hanging over my head and it's not even like anything in my life sucks.
Maybe I'm still too stuck in what life used to be.
Cause it aint the same. Just the places and a few of the faces.
I dont know what anyone thinks of me anymore. I'm not that social butterfly, knowing everyone hanging out with everyone always somewhere to be found and picking up the phone. I'm not playing music or drawing or partying. Is that who I was? Really? Is it? What was I to any of you anyway? I'm having an identity crisis.
And apparently my friends tell my boyfriend not to bother with me (not you, my friends). They tell him he could do better. I'm a psycho. Doing slutty things and partying without a care sounds characteristic of me. Is that true? Or am I really upholding self respect for no reason? Cause I know where I've been and what I've done. And maybe sometimes I exagerrate to make it sound like I have a lot more fun. But I dont fuck around and I dont do drugs or anything really. I mean I've dabbled in a little of this and that but all in all I think I'm a pretty respectable person. I've got my head on straight as far as the conventional shit goes.
Other than that my head's in a million different places. And it's all getting quite boring.
Where's the zest, people?
I need to get out.
I miss my longtime friends that are all doing their own thing.
I miss high school.
I love James. He worries too much about things I don't do. Paranoia's a drag. But we have the most insane conversations and we are just indestructable together. Don't ask me why, I have no idea. It's a lot of fun. I'm learning a lot. I feel good. Fulfilled.
All the girls in my suite are drunk right now. They are really pissing me off. None of them like me.
I am just really irritated.
I am saying more and more nothing.
So, how are you?