$$$$$$$$$

[chokingrope]

So I said that God wants to give me the best life possible, I just have to be willing to take it, and this is soo true. I need to open my mind, because in my head the stock trading deal was the best life possible for me because it would make me rich, I wouldn't have a boss, and I would get to travel. But what if I would have gotten drunk because I was making my stock trading my number one priority, and I am fucking sick right now and I don't know if a shitload of money would be very good for me, maybe God wanted to give me just enough so that I know I'm interested in it and now I have a direction for what kind of work I want to do. There are so mant possibilities, and how am I supposed to know what's good for me anyway, it's been pretty impossible in the past.

And this whole boy thing really needs to stop.