Lost
Bored is the only word that can possibly describe today. I didn't mean to call Courtney today, but I did on accident. So she probably thinks I couldn't stand not talking to her for more then 24 hours. Which I can't, but I'm not gonna allow myself to be obnoxious and up her ass anymore.
I don't need anyone but myself. But I lost her somewhere, I need to find her again. That girl was so cool. I loved myself then. But I don't know what's happened. Almost like I'm deteriorating. Slowly dying, is what it is. I think being raped again knocked me off my rocker. Or sent me into a land of lies and denial and god knows what else. But since then I've lived in a world lacking in reality. Striving to do anything but think about life and anything having to do with me. Frightening I know, but i lost complete touch with myself....
So i'm glad i'm starting to go back to therapy in a couple weeks. lol
*sigh* Something's missing, a part of me feels so empty. I dont know what it is. Wish I did....
G'nite.
****She said life’s a lot to think about sometimes
When you’re living in between the lines
And everything I want and I want to find one of these days
But what you thought was real in life
Oh, has somehow steered you wrong
And now you just keep drivin', tryin' to find out where you belong
And I know you feel helpless now, and I know you feel alone****
I don't need anyone but myself. But I lost her somewhere, I need to find her again. That girl was so cool. I loved myself then. But I don't know what's happened. Almost like I'm deteriorating. Slowly dying, is what it is. I think being raped again knocked me off my rocker. Or sent me into a land of lies and denial and god knows what else. But since then I've lived in a world lacking in reality. Striving to do anything but think about life and anything having to do with me. Frightening I know, but i lost complete touch with myself....
So i'm glad i'm starting to go back to therapy in a couple weeks. lol
*sigh* Something's missing, a part of me feels so empty. I dont know what it is. Wish I did....
G'nite.
****She said life’s a lot to think about sometimes
When you’re living in between the lines
And everything I want and I want to find one of these days
But what you thought was real in life
Oh, has somehow steered you wrong
And now you just keep drivin', tryin' to find out where you belong
And I know you feel helpless now, and I know you feel alone****