psycho
Damn, I sounded like a lunatic this morning. lol
God, I don't know why I act like that. It must stop. I refuse to let myself be psychotic over something so damn petty. I was just so angry when i woke up. I have no idea why. I was yelling at everyone and stuff. Jesus. I suppose it's cuz I'm angry with myself.
Anyway, as the day progressed stuff got better. Those people can supposedly help me out and I got an interview tomorrow in Charlotte for a job.
Courtney also called which is always a plus for me.
Although i hate how she always tells me all the bad stuff about me, like I dont already know. I think its just her nature and she honestly doesn't know any better. Plus I'm annoying as hell. So yeah. I just wish someone could tell me the good stuff too. Cuz i dont know what it is. I'll try picking myself up and making myself feel better but its no use. Is there anything good about me or anything that I actually do, do right?? I think I'm a naturally good and sweet person, but my "illness" keeps getting the best of me. I hate when it takes control like that. I hate feeling out of control.
My mom thinks I'm stupid for going back into therapy. She said now, i'm gonna be put back on meds again and that its all a insurance scam (the meds anyway). Either way, she thinks its a bad idea. And i wonder why. She's afraid I'm gonna uncover something in my child that i wasnt supposed to. She just doesnt want me to hate her I think. Which I wouldnt. Although I'm angry. I'm sure with time I'll get over it.
I told her she should go to therapy after all the shit she's been through. But she just scoffed at me and said she's over it now. That it was a long time ago and those ppl arent in her life anymore. I think thats a crock of bullshit but whatever.
I'm leaving now. I'll write more later tonight.
God, I don't know why I act like that. It must stop. I refuse to let myself be psychotic over something so damn petty. I was just so angry when i woke up. I have no idea why. I was yelling at everyone and stuff. Jesus. I suppose it's cuz I'm angry with myself.
Anyway, as the day progressed stuff got better. Those people can supposedly help me out and I got an interview tomorrow in Charlotte for a job.
Courtney also called which is always a plus for me.
Although i hate how she always tells me all the bad stuff about me, like I dont already know. I think its just her nature and she honestly doesn't know any better. Plus I'm annoying as hell. So yeah. I just wish someone could tell me the good stuff too. Cuz i dont know what it is. I'll try picking myself up and making myself feel better but its no use. Is there anything good about me or anything that I actually do, do right?? I think I'm a naturally good and sweet person, but my "illness" keeps getting the best of me. I hate when it takes control like that. I hate feeling out of control.
My mom thinks I'm stupid for going back into therapy. She said now, i'm gonna be put back on meds again and that its all a insurance scam (the meds anyway). Either way, she thinks its a bad idea. And i wonder why. She's afraid I'm gonna uncover something in my child that i wasnt supposed to. She just doesnt want me to hate her I think. Which I wouldnt. Although I'm angry. I'm sure with time I'll get over it.
I told her she should go to therapy after all the shit she's been through. But she just scoffed at me and said she's over it now. That it was a long time ago and those ppl arent in her life anymore. I think thats a crock of bullshit but whatever.
I'm leaving now. I'll write more later tonight.