(no subject)

[chokeondeadhope]

I hate people.

I hate relationships.

I hate two of my ex things.

I hate how it feels like, even after a year, they just used me.

I hate how I don't hate the other ex thing.

I hate how I actually care about him.

I hate how we're just magically just supossed to go back to being normal friends.

I hate how we never really were normal friends.

I hate how I'm obsessing.

I hate that I fell for him.

I hate that I fell HARD.

I hate how I'm not totally crushed at this point.

I hate that I don't know if even talking to him is worth it.

I hate how I want to talk to him.

I hate how I don't want to talk to him.

I hate how this is all at once.

I hate how he's happy.

I hate how I'm trying, but nothing is working.

I hate how everything still reminds me of him.

I hate that my iPod is on shuffle but his songs keep popping up.

I hate Panera.

I hate Denny's.

I hate Coney Island.

I hate McDonalds.

I hate the firehall.

I hate my front porch.

I hate my brothers goddamn train set.

I hate orange.

I hate Eat n Park.

I hate Taco Bell.

I hate how I don't mind smoking.

I hate all my favorite songs.

I hate holding hands.

I hate kissing.

I hate hugs that actually mean something.

I hate that I went to that show that one time and met that one kid that turned out to be my boyfriend but my parents didn't want me to date him.

I hate that we broke up because of that.

I hate how I like talking to him.

Okay, I hate how I love talking to him.

I hate that I feel like I was holding him back from everything.

I hate how I really want to wait one year and six months to date him.

I hate how I don't think he'll remember me.

I hate how he says he will.

I hate the story he said about my 18th birthday and the grocery store.

I hate that I want really badly for him to wait.

I hate how he probably won't.

I hate how selfish that makes me sound.

I hate how I'm not his girlfriend.

I hate how badly I want to be.

I hate how badly he's probably going to have another girlfriend in a week.

I hate that I just now realized I have jealousy issues.

I hate how badly I'm going to miss all of this.

I hate that I can't be happy right now.

I still really do hate how we're just supossed to stay friends.

I hate how thats going to be extremely difficult for me.

I hate that I don't know why its going to be hard.

I hate that I do want to be friends.

I hate how at the same time I don't think it's even worth it anymore.