years later
oh the crap thats happened... i used to think that i didnt need therapy...but now...ooohh boy NOW!.. looking back at some of my previous posts i realize that maybe it was just all a big lie i was telling myself....Justins fine...justins doing fiiiiine... yeah.... this is why i never wanted to grow up.... i remember certain people getting mad at me for "living in the past".... you fucks dont know what i had ...and if you do know or had the chance of having what i had you would never know what to do with it... man if i could id live forever with a best friend like keven and a blosoming alcohol problem and a car id killed a deer with that had a napalm death tape stuck in the tape player and my great punk friends and a punk band and 12 stolen scooters and a huge crush on a beautiful punk girl.... that to me is amazing.. i got all that. . had... im holding on to that...it makes it not so hard... i know im kidding myself but its easier this way and atleast i know kinda what im doing... its like that movie reign over me...with adam sandler... im not even going to say what im running from...i dont want that ...ever ...man i thought i could get up in the morning...nope...well i have to ... the fucking rent...i lost my sense of humor... not that i wont find it...im looking... i know people still laugh... they say im funny... but its feels like a self defense mechanism....oh yeah...i took an IQ test that i had taken six yers ago...ish... got 100 then...above average... today....80......i remeber my biggest fear growing up would be to turn retarded.....fuck