(no subject)
http://www.purevolume.com/ASecondChance go there immediately and listen to untitled.
tomorrows gonna suck, making up a physics test instead of seeing xena? I know it sounds stupid, but i already ditched it once for her : ). I want to start hangin out with whitey and the boys more often, im always so restricted on when i can go out though. i hope tuesday xena can maybe come over, but its ok if i just stay after with her because im happy as long as I get to see her.
We're going on a major singer tryout in the band, gettin everyone we possibly can to tryout, i want tim to tryout so bad. he's gonna try to come down this week so it should be really cool when he does.
This weekend is going to be the most amazing thing ever, me and sam and xena are going to I-CON friday and saturday for like the whole day(im gonna get to see her so much with all this really cool stuff all around woo!) then sunday me, sam, xena, and matt are going to see park, early november, and limbeck at the downtown. that's at 4 it should be totally awesome.
Final Fantasy XI has to be the absolute coolest game in existance, me and sam are completely addicted to it and found one of the coolest places ever, Jugner Forest. I know we're dorks, but thats not gonna stop us from thinking that its awesome. I'm gonna be majorly practicing my double bass drum technique from now on I want to get really really good at it.
I have to get a new drumset solo for nyssma, long story, lets just say new york state sucks. I'm probably gonna go to family melody tomorrow night to get another one and I have less than 2 months to perfect it and my solos and stuff although i've been working on these awesome fills for my solos so my drumsets sounding really good.
Xena Xena Xena Xena Xena Xena Xena Xena Xena Xena Xena Xena Xena Xena Xena Xena Xena Xena Xena Xena That's pretty much whats going through my head right now, I miss you so much, i don't feel like waiting until tuesday : ( : (! I've been having so much fun with her and things have been so amazing and great over the past week. im finally starting to feel better from...maybe nows a good time to let this out.
So as many of you know now, my moms had breast cancer, diagnosed around september. My grandfather passed away while my mom was in the hospital and she couldnt come to his funeral because the doctor screwed up and perforated her lung during surgery to start the chemotherapy. we were all in the limosines and instead of going straight to the funeral procession they drove passed my moms hospital window...I can't seem to shed this memory from my head, i relive it almost every night. it seems sort of stereotypical but it always plays back in my head in slow motion and black and white. Sometimes it's daytime and sometimes its night, it always leaves me so depressed when I wake up. I have this card from the funeral for him...I wish he would've told me about when he served overseas, and i saw the pictures of him from the 50's when my grandparents got married...it was the coolest thing. I still really miss him a lot.
That wasn't the end of things a few months ago, after they told us the tumor was going down...we found out its back in full force and the cancer spread to my moms spine. this whole time my mom hasnt had use of her arm, theres something wrong with the nerves, something with the cancer being by her lymphnodes. There's been a lot of tension in the house because of it, but im just doing my best to do what I can for her. I hate having to watch someone so close to me have to go through this, and someone who doesnt deserve anything like this. I was up late with xena on the phone one night, pretty upset, and I told her I wished I was the one who had it instead. Because I do. I don't want my mom to have to go through all this at all, she doesnt deserve it.
Most recently, we find out the chemo therapy hasnt been working : \. Now they have to try using all different types of radiations and it's really taking a lot out of her. we had a vacation planned for april 4th to 11th but the doctors are starting to discourage her from going so I don't think we're going anymore. she really needs a break mentally and physically from everything, but it looks like that's not going to be happening. I just found my moms schedule for the radiation and its gonna be 5 days a week, i didnt think it was that often...mon - fri every week from now on for who knows how long.
I kept this from a lot of people, but theres no need to now...i guess mainly cause i couldnt handle everyone asking about it for awhile. It still upsets me a lot and theres nights where i relive some of these things in my sleep and I just don't know what to do anymore. well...thats all for tonight, i have a lot of work to do for school.
tomorrows gonna suck, making up a physics test instead of seeing xena? I know it sounds stupid, but i already ditched it once for her : ). I want to start hangin out with whitey and the boys more often, im always so restricted on when i can go out though. i hope tuesday xena can maybe come over, but its ok if i just stay after with her because im happy as long as I get to see her.
We're going on a major singer tryout in the band, gettin everyone we possibly can to tryout, i want tim to tryout so bad. he's gonna try to come down this week so it should be really cool when he does.
This weekend is going to be the most amazing thing ever, me and sam and xena are going to I-CON friday and saturday for like the whole day(im gonna get to see her so much with all this really cool stuff all around woo!) then sunday me, sam, xena, and matt are going to see park, early november, and limbeck at the downtown. that's at 4 it should be totally awesome.
Final Fantasy XI has to be the absolute coolest game in existance, me and sam are completely addicted to it and found one of the coolest places ever, Jugner Forest. I know we're dorks, but thats not gonna stop us from thinking that its awesome. I'm gonna be majorly practicing my double bass drum technique from now on I want to get really really good at it.
I have to get a new drumset solo for nyssma, long story, lets just say new york state sucks. I'm probably gonna go to family melody tomorrow night to get another one and I have less than 2 months to perfect it and my solos and stuff although i've been working on these awesome fills for my solos so my drumsets sounding really good.
Xena Xena Xena Xena Xena Xena Xena Xena Xena Xena Xena Xena Xena Xena Xena Xena Xena Xena Xena Xena That's pretty much whats going through my head right now, I miss you so much, i don't feel like waiting until tuesday : ( : (! I've been having so much fun with her and things have been so amazing and great over the past week. im finally starting to feel better from...maybe nows a good time to let this out.
So as many of you know now, my moms had breast cancer, diagnosed around september. My grandfather passed away while my mom was in the hospital and she couldnt come to his funeral because the doctor screwed up and perforated her lung during surgery to start the chemotherapy. we were all in the limosines and instead of going straight to the funeral procession they drove passed my moms hospital window...I can't seem to shed this memory from my head, i relive it almost every night. it seems sort of stereotypical but it always plays back in my head in slow motion and black and white. Sometimes it's daytime and sometimes its night, it always leaves me so depressed when I wake up. I have this card from the funeral for him...I wish he would've told me about when he served overseas, and i saw the pictures of him from the 50's when my grandparents got married...it was the coolest thing. I still really miss him a lot.
That wasn't the end of things a few months ago, after they told us the tumor was going down...we found out its back in full force and the cancer spread to my moms spine. this whole time my mom hasnt had use of her arm, theres something wrong with the nerves, something with the cancer being by her lymphnodes. There's been a lot of tension in the house because of it, but im just doing my best to do what I can for her. I hate having to watch someone so close to me have to go through this, and someone who doesnt deserve anything like this. I was up late with xena on the phone one night, pretty upset, and I told her I wished I was the one who had it instead. Because I do. I don't want my mom to have to go through all this at all, she doesnt deserve it.
Most recently, we find out the chemo therapy hasnt been working : \. Now they have to try using all different types of radiations and it's really taking a lot out of her. we had a vacation planned for april 4th to 11th but the doctors are starting to discourage her from going so I don't think we're going anymore. she really needs a break mentally and physically from everything, but it looks like that's not going to be happening. I just found my moms schedule for the radiation and its gonna be 5 days a week, i didnt think it was that often...mon - fri every week from now on for who knows how long.
I kept this from a lot of people, but theres no need to now...i guess mainly cause i couldnt handle everyone asking about it for awhile. It still upsets me a lot and theres nights where i relive some of these things in my sleep and I just don't know what to do anymore. well...thats all for tonight, i have a lot of work to do for school.