His Beautiful Smile
His Beautiful Smile2min, one-sided! Jungmo x Taemin | PG-13 | 6.360~ w | romance, a few angst there and then, fluff
Inspired from 'Sign' - Brown Eyed Girls.
“ Minho Hyung, I bring this lunch for you, I hope you like it.”
Taemin handed a dark brown box with chopsticks on its top nervously, while the older male was just staring at the box and he took it quietly, without saying any words. Taemin smiled with relief as he saw Minho cracking open the top and frowning upon the lunch, nonetheless he nodded in appreciation and stuffed the lunch into his mouth, and their lunch during school breaks just went like that, passing without any simple chit-chat nor even, courtesy.
Taemin hoped that Minho would say something about his cook; how he really took pains to learn cooking from Kibum and finally it wasn’t poisonous as the fruit of his effort.
But never, Minho said anything; or even appreciated it with simple words like ‘thank you’.
“ I’m going back to class now.”
Taemin watched how the man he loved turned his back and walked away, leaving him alone, again and again.
It hurts, Hyung.
I thought I am your boyfriend.
Minho would never change.. and those cold shoulders Minho always gave to him..
Taemin sighed.
I thought I can be by your side happily.
“ Cut it out, Taemin-ah. It’s time for you to ask about his feelings and determine a decision which one you can take and whatnot,” Kibum’s voice was laced with a worry and sadness upon the helpless and painful look in Taemin’s eyes, those sparks of happiness and cuteness slowly began toppling and left hurtful feelings yet his fortitude that needed to be appreciated; because for these three months, Taemin stayed faithful on Minho’s side, no matter how that stupid head behaved towards Taemin.
“ No,” Taemin smiled weakly, “ If I ask him It’ll be an over, Hyung.”
At least I can be by his side. At least I can do something for him.
“ But Taemin,” Kibum clenched his fist, “ Seriously, I know all you asked to him was to be his boyfriend only so you can walk on his side, and stay with him! But isn’t it too much? I know you only once have fallen in love with someone, and now I can’t let my friend suffering again because of person you love!”
“ Hyung, it’s..”
Not because I only want to walk beside him, not only that I want to stay with him either.
If I can make him smile..
Taemin’s breath hitched.
If I can see his smile..
Like when I saw it for the first time..
School was already over, and Taemin sat quietly on a bench at one corner near the soccer field, waiting for Minho to finish his practice. A sound of people in the team shouting, cursing, and cheering filled the silent space around Taemin, and he smiled softly when he saw the guy he loved set his eyes on fire, not determined to lose even if it were just a practice game.
That was when Taemin could look on the real side of Minho; who hates to lose, and takes on everything in front of him boldly.
As the practice was over, Taemin finally made his way to approach the older male who only narrowed his eyes to get better view. “ Ah, it’s you.”
Taemin nodded, “ You must be tired hyung, I bring you more mineral water.”
“ Thanks,” Minho mumbled and drank in a gulp, as his adam apple bobbed up and down to savor its succulance down his throat. Taemin hurriedly helped Minho to carry his stuffs when the elder dried up his dampen hairs due to sweating excessively, “ I’ll help you to bring your shoebox, while you take care of your sportbag. Let’s go home, Hyung.”
Minho didn’t reply instead he followed Taemin silently and gave his wet hair more attention since he wasn’t a fan of being all wet and sticky. But the awkward atmosphere that hung up high in the air, Taemin only curled his fingers and entwined them altogether. Oh God, Taemin whined, this is awkward, I need to talk about something.
“ How’s your practice, Hyung?”
“ It’s good.”
And that’s all? Taemin sighed, now that he could not reply back. Too much awkwardness was floating around them, Taemin dropped his shoulders and groaned inwardly, why could not he bring up some interesting topics so at least he could talk to Minho?
‘It’s time for you to ask about his feelings.’
It was repeated in Taemin’s head over and over, damn Kibum Hyung, Taemin muttered under his breath, I can’t get this string of words out of my head now.
But even so..
Was it even a crime to ask?
Taemin took a peek over his shoulder, scanning Minho’s features with the best view he could get from glancing.
It would be a lie if Taemin denied that he didn’t want to determine Minho’s feelings towards him.
If I ask him now..
Taemin turned round, much to Minho’s surprise. The older male stared at Taemin through his long eyelashes, his big orbs sent Taemin a same spark in his chest, it never changes the fact I really love him.
“ Hyung, I - “
“ Taemin-ah?”
Taemin widened his eyes upon the familiar voice, that he used to miss and long for it every single night, everyday. A light, soft voice that called his name gently - and Taemin somehow was certain if he looked the person behind his back.. that person would greet Taemin warmly with a tender smile across his face..
And Taemin really turned away, breaking his eyes off Minho only to convince himself whether the voice’s owner was only just his imagination or not -
“ Jungmo Hyung..”
“ Do you think our relationship is still working, Taemin-ah? We will be separated with distance and time, even if it is only for two years.”
When heart crumbles and falls apart, decaying into worthless slivers..
“ I don’t know, Hyung..”
And when heart hurts..
The memories about you within me..
“ It just won’t do, Taemin-ah.”
They start fading away.
A smile flashed on the other male’s face as he scooted over towards the shocked young boy, and wrapped his arms around the slim figure eagerly, as if he finally found a missing piece in his life.
“ It has been a while, Taemin-ah,” the guy named Jungmo whispered, “ I miss you, and now I’m back.”
Taemin who had not yet recovered from a shock pouncing against him finally let Jungmo’s sudden arrival proceed in his haywire mind for a few seconds, he broke away from the hug with a small struggle. “ Hyung, it only has been a year and half, why are you - “
Jungmo’s chest heaved to look at the pale beauty closely, observing if there were a tiny feature had changed, but Taemin’s beauty was ageless as ever, he was still as beautiful as the last time Jungmo left him, or if it were possible, Taemin became more and more gorgeous.
And he once had owned that perfect being, in the past.
“ I finished my studies during the time I was in France..”
“ So.. you won’t be going back to Franch again?” Taemin hesitatingly confirmed, and then he was shocked when Jungmo’s fingers brushed his cheeks tenderly. He looked up at the older, blinking twice in confuse.
“ Well.. The reason I came back..” Jungmo rubbed the back of his neck nervously, but he had decided to get over it anyway, his dormant feelings and suffers he had experienced for the past one year and half, so he forced a smile, because this time, he had to utter everything out. “ I came back.. is because.. I want to see you again, Taemin-ah.”
The younger male immediately shot up from Jungmo’s touch, snapping his head up and shrieking, “ You want what?!” Taemin realized that they weren’t alone and he turned his back, Minho Hyung is still here and listening to us..
Yet, something wasn’t what it was supposed to be.
Why doesn’t Minho Hyung.. react on anything?
~*~
Kibum dropped his pencil onto the desk and it rolled over the surface, face screeching in horror. “ Jungmo what?”
Taemin peered up back at Kibum, the he nodded his head lightly. “ We just met yesterday and.. he said that he will come to see me again..”
“ No no, what, let me summarize whatever you’ve been telling me so far,” Kibum massaged his temples, God it was shocking the fuck of his life, “ Your past boyfriend just returned back from French after telling you nonsense stuffs about break-up and why you two should because he was planning to leave you for two years but then he turned up in front of you and your frog-eyed lover, then he suddenly hugged you, saying that he came back because he wants to see you?”
Either Taemin was feeling amused or irritated because Kibum summarized everything perfectly at the end of class when Kibum waited Taemin stuffing books into his bag, a little bit too perfect till Taemin didn’t really want to think nor picture out about it.
“ So..” Kibum crossed his arms over his chest, his chin unknowingy pointing out at the jutted out lips of Taemin. “ What was Minho’s reaction?”
Taemin’s face fell as soon as he heard Kibum’s question. “ Well, his expression didn’t change..”
That answer brought Kibum back to life after his never ending shock and crinkled the tip of his nose, “ What the heck? Even just for a little change?”
Taemin shook his head. “ Hyung.. I doubt that he loves me back. He never says it, he just lets me stay on his side like a lost puppy, not knowing what to do.”
“ But even so,” Kibum crooned, “ You aren’t planning to leave him either, are you?”
Taemin nodded, albeit this time, he didn’t know if he did that heartily or not. “ Well, I am going to see Minho Hyung now, today he doesn’t have a soccer practice, so ..”
Kibum made a gesture as ‘go ahead’ and the red-haired boy walked off to Minho’s class. He was Taemin’s senior by a year, so he was quite aware that whispers coming from Minho’s classmates and his admirers were intended to him, but Taemin ignored them. It wasn’t like they could hurt Taemin, anyway, because Taemin had felt the real hurt and pain of being totally ignored, given cold shoulders from his own boyfriend.
“ Hyung,” Taemin’s smile lit up when he saw the older boy had just finished putting the last book into his sportbag. “ Oh, Taemin-ah.”
Taemin approached him slowly and grinned, “ Do you want to have ice cream before we walk home? It’s hot at the outside. Please?”
Minho lazily agreed, because the heat was quite crazy and if someone did a wrong move and fell down, he or she might melt into a puddle. Taemin was pleading too, so there was no reason for him to refuse.
Taemin cheered in joy inwardly, but at the one side he was worried that Minho still didn’t show any sign of jealousy or bothered look on his face because of yesterday.. But Taemin shook the thought off him and said, “ Great! Now I have to tell Kibum Hyung and take my bag. You can wait me near the gate, Hyung.”
Minho complied and stared at the back that began dissolving from his sight as the petite male had gone behind a turn. He shrugged off the thought that had been racing in his mind and headed up towards the gate.. then he found himself stilling when he saw someone standing near it, also his looks had attracted a lot of female students there.
The person noticed Minho behind his sunglasses and took it off, a little bit surprised seeing Minho who was the guy behind Taemin yesterday.
“ You are..”
Minho didn’t reply, instead he held a intense staring contest with Jungmo, that person, for a while. Jungmo was the first to break off the eye-contact. “ Well, what do I have here? Aren’t you the guy who was walking with Taemin yesterday?”
“ Yeah.”
Jungmo smiled. “ I’d like to know about your relationship with Taemin.”
“ He is Taemin’s boyfriend, Jungmo.”
The two males turned their head towards the voice’s provenance which was owned by Kim Kibum, and his little friend Taemin behind his shoulder, panicking upon Kibum’s sudden bluntness. Kibum eyed Jungmo sharply, as he scurried forward to close the distance between them, feeling his temperature drop when his eyes were met with Jungmo’s. “ Why the fuck are you here and racing after Taemin?” Kibum hissed, “ After you made him cry in that summer?”
Jungmo snapped his head up, brushing Kibum’s arm litter to shove him off but he did little so Kibum was only faltering. “ You don’t understand, Kibum. I left him for my good, and I broke up with him because he could not really let me go to study abroad, even though he tried his best, I knew him!”
“ You knew nothing,” Kibum barked, “ at least you had no idea how puffy Taemin’s eyes were because of you.”
Jungmo’s skin went pale imagining it, yet he shook it off and somehow his gaze was so much determined than before, “ That’s why I came back to make up my mistake.. Even if he has a boyfriend now..” he whispered, “ Because I wish him still loving me like he used to.”
Upon those blunt interval of words, Kibum’s eyes bugged out of their sockets. He drew two steps back, and sighed. “ But Taemin is with Minho now.”
“ I know,” Jungmo smiled and leaned in to whisper, which made Kibum squawk, “ Taemin-ah, let’s meet up sometimes. How about the day after? They have a carnival and it’s also an important day.”
Taemin frowned. What could the important day be?
“ So long.” And Jungmo finally got back in his pulled up car and drove off towards somewhere else, leaving the three stunned. Taemin finalized the words by wondering about the ‘important day’, but somehow he could not remember what date today was. Must be stress had distracted him from little things, he crooned.
“ See you later, Minho-Hyung, Kibum-Hyung!” Taemin cheerfully waved to the two oldests and drifted off the ice cream stall, yet still Kibum yelled, “ Don’t trust strangers! Be careful, Taemin-ah! Also there is still an ice cream remnant above your lip!”
“ Thanks, Hyung!”
Kibum dropped his shoulders against the back of chair, laughing softly seeing his little friend being all cute waltzing like that. “ Now that I’ve forgotten about Jungmo, that guy.”
Minho didn’t answer except stirring his coffee since he wasn’t a fan of ice cream and sweet stuffs. The feline-eyed male scooped an ice cream into his mouth and asked, “ Say, do you know about Jungmo?”
“ Taemin’s ex-boyfriend?”
Kibum sighed, “ It’s not only about that. In fact, he was Taemin’s really first love. Taemin loved him so much, then they broke up after Jungmo told him that he had to study abroad. Taemin was struck in sadness for almost a year before he met you.”
Still, the other didn’t change his expression, except his eyes floating over to somewhere else, mumbling, “ I see.”
Kibum face-palmed. “ At least you can be more sensitive, Minho. Taemin likes you, doesn’t he.”
But the taller guy just remained in silent.
“ Hyung.. I can be your everything. I’ll try to be a helpful guy for you. I want to be your boyfriend, so I can stay beside you, even if it’s all you can consent.”
Minho could not understand the feelings inside his ribs, but again this time, he decided to inwardly keep it in bottle.. Somehow.
~*~
“ It’s your birthday, Taemin-ah.”
Taemin’s jaws just dropped when Kibum calmly answered his question through a phone call, and pranced off his bed to coinvince himself with a calendar.. “ Oh yeah, you’re right, Hyung.”
“ How could you forget about your own birthday?”
Taemin shyly grinned despite the fact that Kibum could not see him anyway, and he jumped back onto the bed. “ But I want to spend my birthday with Minho Hyung,” he mumbled.
“ Oh please, Taemin-ah. You can just ask him.”
“ But I can’t,” Taemin whined, “ I don’t want to.. be his burden, okay? He never shows an affection to me, so I assume asking him out isn’t a good idea.”
Because the only thing I wished from him was to be on his side, nothing else.
“ But honey, asking Minho to call off his activity to spend your birthday isn’t a crime. Why don’t you try to talk to him?”
Taemin sighed in defeat, he knew he could not win over debating with Kibum, not even in million years. He decided to call off this conversation and talk about something else.
But still..
Taemin’s mind began floating over again, if he asked Minho to spend a day with him.. and have a date.. even it needed Taemin to pay or give a treat, would it be worth?
Can I.. give a try?
~*~
Taemin hopped off his seat when the second period was over and the students in his class were dancing on their feet happily, because it meant a lunch break. He ran to ascend up the stairs towards Minho’s class, had prepared himself and also mustered up courage to ask his boyfriend out on his birthday, so Taemin took a deep breath before cracked the class’ door open..
.. only to see Minho smiling in front of few girls.
Even if it were just a sheer of smile..
But Minho never showed that smile for Taemin.
Taemin clenched the tip of his uniform, biting the lower lip a bit too harsh because seriously, why could he smile freely like that, whereas he had tried so hard to make him smile.
Taemin could feel his eyes uncontrollably squeezing up fit of tears, breathing heavily at the sight, yet he could not cry, not in Minho’s class, that would be a shame as his boyfriend..
Or did Minho even consider his exsistence at the first place?
But all I want to do on his side is to see him smile at me.
To see how happiness lingers in him.
“ Minho! Your boyfriend is waiting for you!”
Taemin’s eyes snapped and his whole body jerked up a little, shit he could not let Minho see his pathetic side, but the older had seen him and now was staring up at him. Taemin callously bit his lip more and gritted teeth next, before finally forcing a smile.. feebly.
“ I .. was thinking of something but apparently I need to call it off,” he stuttered in explaining, but what he could do? But he hoped that Minho would buy it, nonetheless.
Although he could not suppress his tears, no longer able to keep back.
“ W - Well, Hyung, I need to go..”
And before Minho could speak and catch him up in time, Taemin already ran off immediately, leaving enigma in Minho’s mind.
~*~
The whole day and the day after tomorrow, right on Taemin’s birthday, he successfully avoided Minho and compelled a smile if he met Minho accidentally, but he would be the first person to walk away and pretend that everything was okay, although it wasn’t seemingly like that.
And Minho noticed it, in the school, he only met Taemin twice and that was also Taemin running away again, something had been going on wrongly. The smile Taemin put on now wasn’t a sweet, sincere smile he always gave to Minho.
Somehow Minho felt a loss.
But when Taemin called him to meet up on the school’s rooftop, Minho complied it without a second think, wondering what was going on with the smaller boy.
“ Hyung.. It just doesn’t work again anymore.”
Yet Taemin asked for a break-up.
Minho didn’t answer, although he had to admit his heart was shaking a little - no, as if a lightning had just stricken him, why so sudden?
“ I thought I can make you smile if I stay beside you, so I tried really hard..” Taemin smiled weakly, and Minho could see his lips trembling, and his pale skin was whiter than before, “ But it won’t do. You are okay without me and..”
Taemin paused to take a deep breath.
“ .. and I realize I was so stupid for thinking like, trying to make you happy whereas you never really.. love me. You only let me as your boyfriend and to be on your side, it’s always me trying to know you better and actually when we know nothing about each other, I feel stupid and ashamed, I don’t want to be your burden too, and I have tried to accept the reality, this time I need to get over myself..” A fear and sadness latched beneath Taemin’s string of words, “ so thank you, hyung for giving me a chance...”
Taemin looked up, and Minho felt his heart clenched seeing how pale and puffy Taemin’s eyes were.. is this what Kibum said when Taemin and Jungmo broke up?
“ ... and good bye.”
A farewell was never this bitter.
~*~
“ Taemin? Did you skip class earlier? Where are you now? I called your house earlier and your mom said you are going to somewhere.”
Taemin laughed softly in the call. “ Yeah, I was too tired and now I am planning to walk up to carnival, today is my birthday, anyway.”
“ Jungmo was waiting you in front of school’s gate again and he decided to look you up..”
“ Oh well, he won’t find me in house - “
“ Taemin-ah!”
Taemin stopped.. and he turned back, widening his eyes when he saw Jungmo standing there, holding up a rose high and approaching him.
“ Are you with Minho now..”
“ No, Hyung.. We aren’t together anymore.. and.. I saw Jungmo..” Taemin mumbled incoherently, too shocked seeing Jungmo’s sudden appereance like that, was he a skilled ninja? Because whenever he turned up he never failed to shock the fuck out of Taemin’s life..
“ What.. did you - are you just kidding me, Taemin-ah? Wait - Jungmo? Taemin? Taemin? Tae - “ The call was cut off because Taemin unconsciously flipped close his phone and mouth gaped. “ Hyung? What are you doing here?”
“ Well, I was calling your house and - “
“ My mom said that I am not in place,” Taemin muttered softly, the heck everyone always checked him through his house number.
Jungmo nodded his head and offered a rose in his hand, smiling widely. “ Happy birthday. I was planning to give this in school but you weren’t there so.. I caught you up in time, apparently.”
Taemin dumbly accepted the rose and adored how red and beautiful it was, so he blinked twice and chuckled. “ Thank you, Hyung.” Even though he felt uneasy receiving a rose from his ex-lover.. but it would be rude if he rejected it. In any case, he was single anyway.. So it didn’t really butthurt him.
Oh.. being single on my birthday truly sucks.
“ Why are you here alone?” Jungmo tilted, “ Your mom said you were heading up alone but still I assumed you with Minho earlier.. yet..”
Taemin sighed. Mom screwed everything up now. “ I just broke up with him.”
Jungmo widened his eyes. “ But why?”
The slim boy looked up at the dark sky and stars, smiling feebly. “ He never really loves me.. I was wrong, but it was my fault, I asked him to go out with me so I could make him happy.. But..”
Jungmo let out a fizzle before he finally took in Taemin’s wrist, surprising the younger male. “ Oops, don’t ever talk about sad things on your birthday.. Now let’s enjoy the carnival together, we’re gonna make your day fun!”
Before Taemin could protest, Jungmo already dragged Taemin into the crowd, along with laughters and jests here and there.
~*~
“ Thank you for the dinner, mom.”
After having his dinner Minho finally ascended up the staircase and threw his body onto the bed, bouncing up and down a little. He stared up at the ceiling silently, feeling strange when his phone didn’t vibrate against the hard surface of desk violently like the usual.
Around this time Taemin was sending him a text to ask whether Minho already had his meal or not.
Minho shook off his thought. It wasn’t like he missed Taemin, was he?
But when his phone vibrated back to life, Minho arched his back and jumped off to grab his phone, but only to find the caller’s ID was Kibum. Minho sighed. “ Hello?”
“ Yah - you stupid frog. Did you just break up with Taemin?!”
Minho was quite surprised that Kibum just figured out it now, considering he was the right place to get gossips and further he was Taemin’s bestfriend.
“ Yeah.. Right. Taemin asked for it, why?”
“ You didn’t stop him? Gosh, and he really loves you. I can’t believe this..”
“ Well, he was the one who ask..” Minho mumbled.
“ And why are you here? Have you said ‘happy birthday’ to him? Seriously breaking up on your birthday isn’t pleasing..”
Minho, almost, choked on Kibum’s statement and eyes goggled out bigger than they should be. “ What - today is his birthday?!”
“ Wait what. Taemin didn’t tell you? Or top of all, you have no idea?!”
“ Yeah.. I..”
“ Choi Minho..”There was a sigh in the pause, “ I know you never said something to make Taemin happy but please, ‘happy birthday’? You are quite close to him! All of his friends congratulated him, where have you been?”
“ I .. don’t know and..”
“ While he really wished to make you smile, and you returned back his good deeds like this? Why Minho, the lowest scum of all dickheads out there.”
Even though Minho was never a person who loses his cool easily, but this time was different.
He felt like he was the biggest jerk ever.
“ .. Where is he now?”
But thanks to Kibum, Minho finally had determined something.
“ At the carnival, the center of town is holding a rousing festival now, you can look for him at there.”
I need to give Kibum a treat, later.
Minho slipped his body in a thick softball jacket and tucked in his phone and wallet, before finally running out of the door.
All of my past girlfriends and friends probably as suck as hell, so i am fed up in being nice to everyone.
They befriended with me because of my looks, my popularity.
' “ Minho, what do you think about Taemin?”
When those girls asked me like that for a sudden, I tried to think about his childish side, and his sweet, honest personality.
For the first time ever, I actually smiled to someone - because I thought everything I could about him. '
I might have been close to lose him.
Minho gritted his teeth.
But I can’t give up on anything, for now.
~*~
“ Are you having a fun now?”
Taemin nodded eagerly while munching a cotton candy happily, the sweetness melting instantly on his tongue. “ Yeah, I never really went to a carnival before, so today is fun!”
Jungmo chortled and wiped a small piece of cotton candy below Taemin’s lip gently. “ I heard there will be fireworks in twenty minutes,” he said, “ wanna see it?”
“ Yes!”
The taller male laughed upon Taemin’s excitement and cuteness so he ruffled the soft red hair affectionately. “ Let’s go.”
When they had arrived on a low mound to get a better view of the fireworks, Taemin’s eyes sparkled in anticipation. Jungmo looked at his watch and murmured, “ It’s almost the time..”
And the first firework blew up in the sky beautifully, drawing amazement on Taemin’s face. “ It’s so pretty..”
“ You like it?”
“ So much!” Taemin giggled happily and unleashed a chidlish side of him unknowingly, but that just made Jungmo could not help but smile. “ Good..”
Taemin’s giggle died down instantly at the thought that it’d be nice if he could enjoy this beautiful sight with Minho. Who knows that he would probably flash a soft smile, that Taemin actually had never seen it?
But again, Minho didn’t need him.
First time I saw him was when he sat at the center of soccer field alone, staring up at the orange sky.
His gaze looked so soft and calming, his pants of weariness settled down slowly, and he mumbled something i could not eavesdrop, but made me drawing closer to peek at him, wondering what he was thinking, that time.
But then he put on the softest smile across his face that nobody would imagine it.
The coldest ice prince in school actually could express something like that.
And I fell for his beautiful, gentle smile.
How I wished to be on his side, so I could make him happy and see that smile again.
A fat tear rolled down from one corner of Taemin’s eyes, and Jungmo caught the moment in time. The taller one became worried about something that had hurt the younger male, so he tugged Taemin’s wrist and whispered, “ What’s wrong?”
Taemin shook his head and tried to laugh playfully, “ Nothing, Hyung. It must be your imagination.”
“ What’s so wrong with my eyes when I saw a tear falling down on your cheek?”
Taemin strode two steps backwards, he didn’t plan letting Jungmo to see his weak side, so he assured him that he was okay. But Jungmo didn’t buy it, yet he stared at Taemin deeply, looking for a pain and sadness in his eyes, and there really were.
“ Is this about Minho?”
The older male could feel Taemin’s body stiffening under his touch. Jungmo sighed, “ I see. He always hurts you, doesn’t he?”
“ He..” Taemin glued his gaze at the ground, curling his toe nervously, he didn’t feel like to remember the pain again. “ I just.. think that it may be the best way and..”
“ Taemin,” Jungmo cupped Taemin’s face in his palms, forcing the ageless beauty to look at him, “ You won’t feel like that again if you are with me. I came back to make up my stupid mistakes, because I love you. Even in French, I didn’t look at anyone else because my heart craves for you. I will make you happy, Taemin. I promise.”
Taemin widened his eyes, was it even a joke? But Jungmo looked really serious and meant his words, a confidence laced in his voice, Taemin could hear that.
“ But I..”
“ Well, at least,” Jungmo cut him off again, “ I won’t hurt and ignore you as bad as him. I’ve gained a lot of information about you two, and I can’t stand at him. Please, give me a chance.”
Taemin closed his eyes.
It’s true if I end up with someone who loves me fully, maybe I can be happy..
But still..
“ It’s not like that.. Hyung..”
Jungmo narrowed his eyes. “ And why is that?”
Taemin tugged Jungmo’s arm to shove himself off and shook his head weakly, “ It is not what my heart wants.. and..” something stung in his heart, in a bad way, because he thought that Minho would never love him back, yet still.. “ I only love Minho-Hyung.. If i accept you.. then I will decieve your feelings too.. It’s just.. not right, Hyung..”
The grip around Taemin’s wrist was getting tighter. The beautiful male winced a little and looked up, seeing how determined Jungmo’s eyes were under the light of squibbed fireworks.
“ If I ask you to go out with me.. Even if it means you need a time to love me back.. It’s okay.”
That answer brought Jungmo to gently incline his head up in order to kiss the petite boy on his forehead, but Taemin stopped his action by shoving off the latter, tears dripping one by one.
“ I can’t, Hyung..” he whispered, his heart hurt that bad till he could not think straight, “ I love Minho Hyung.. so I - “
“ Do you hear him? He said no.”
A strong arm circled around his shoulders, pulling the fragile boy up, making him gasp in shock. He tried to look back, yet his vision was blurred, but he refused to believe if it were probably Minho - but why did he inhale his scent? Was it his imagination? Was the guy pulling him now actually Key?
“ Maybe he used to love you so much that you become this delusional, but now he loves me.” That deep voice continued,“ So back off. I need to take this boy back before everything is already too late.”
But Key’s voice wasn’t this husky.
That person suddenly dragged Taemin away from Jungmo who could not believe what he had seen, leaving the poor guy alone under those fireworks.
It took three minutes to proceed what just happened in his mind; Minho was here. He chased after Taemin - why did he feel so stupidly happy? Still, Taemin tried to struggle and yank away Minho’s arm, but his strong body wasn’t his match. Taemin panted when both of them stopped on a quite dark, obscure corner under trees, not too far from the previous place. Minho turned his heel after the short walk - why do I keep getting dragged repeatedly today? Taemin whined mentally.
“ Taemin, look at me.”
Minho’s husky voice sent shivers and butterflies in Taemin’s stomach, also his heart pounding faster as if it could break down his ribs.
Taemin didn’t response; instead he refused to comply with Minho. Feeling losing his patience, Minho pulled up Taemin’s chin so their gazes met, and it melted Taemin instantly, his legs giving away. He wished Minho would not stare at him like that.. because his eyes were just too beautiful.
“ I never said yes when you asked for a break-up.”
Taemin shook his head and feebly pounded his fists against Minho’s chest so the athlete would set him free, but Minho didn’t budge.
“ But you never love me. It was me who asked you out.. and i realized it was useless. It’s also for your sake, Hyung.. I..” Taemin blamed himself for being all weak, he could not finish his sentence, he just could not.
The pale beauty had expected Minho to leave him again and let him fall on his knees, crying out his heart and wailing, but it didn’t happen. Instead Minho took two steps forward, brushing his hair and tucking some part of them behind Taemin’s left ear.
“ I also never said if it were useless.”
Taemin bit his lips, his tears still running down his cheeks like a waterfall. “ W - what do you mean?”
Minho sighed.
“ Perhaps it’s weird.. It wasn’t my intention to take your confession seriously and i let you to be my lover, just because i felt it probably wasn’t a bad idea either.. because all you want was to be on my side, so i agreed..” the older male spoke up, ignoring all passers-by and keeping his eyes on the younger boy. “ But then it changed, i slowly found myself comfortable around you.. when you cooked for me.. when you smiled for me.. when you worried about me.. everything, but i assumed it was because you were being with me often, so it was maybe just my imagination. But I could not help but really dislike it when the times you were with Jungmo..”
Minho paused to search into Taemin’s eyes, they held innocence and kindnes that.. nothing could be worth to trade with them.
“ And when you asked for a break-up, I could not explain what it felt, but i was in mess because my mind was blank, i could not think of anything sanely, as if something had lost..” Minho lifted up his right hand and his fingers hovered above Taemin’s soft cheek, “ as if i have gotten used with yourcompany..”
Minho never thought he would show his feelings towards this boy, but what could he do? Those innocent eyes, sweet smile, soft expression that Taemin always showed him.. and his kindness. They were breath-taking, and the cold side of Minho slowly melted down.. although he wasn’t good in expressing his heart, but Minho was sure..
.. that this boy had captivated him entirely.
“ I love you, Taemin-ah.”
That seemed work to stop Taemin’s sniffles and sobs, yet now the small boy froze. “ No.. P - please, don’t lie to me..”
“ If I lied,” Minho calmly answered, “ I would not have raced after you.”
Taemin looked up - and he could not escape when Minho’s chapped lips were only mere inches away, and slowly pressed on Taemin’s, their lips barely brushing against the other’s softly - and that time, Taemin had no choice but to believe, because how soft and slow their kiss was, he could feel that Minho was telling him the truth.
Neither both of them would deny the love.
Neither both of them would run away and kept their feelings in bottle for the rest of world as well.
Everything was the reality - it wasn’t a one-sided love anymore. It wasn’t a guile too.
“ I love you too, Hyung,” Taemin whispered against Minho’s red lips, any adjectives could not describe his feelings.
Minho smiled softly. “ Yeah, and happy birthday, Taemin-ah.”
Finally Taemin could see that smile.
The beautiful smile, he had always wished to see again.
Taemin giggled with tears rolling down like droplets, but this time they were tears of happiness.
“ Thank you..” he murmured, “ You just smiled, Hyung.”
Minho leaned in to murmur. “ Must be your imagination.”
Taemin laughed - and they kissed again.
Under those beautiful fireworks.
Inspired from 'Sign' - Brown Eyed Girls.
“ Minho Hyung, I bring this lunch for you, I hope you like it.”
Taemin handed a dark brown box with chopsticks on its top nervously, while the older male was just staring at the box and he took it quietly, without saying any words. Taemin smiled with relief as he saw Minho cracking open the top and frowning upon the lunch, nonetheless he nodded in appreciation and stuffed the lunch into his mouth, and their lunch during school breaks just went like that, passing without any simple chit-chat nor even, courtesy.
Taemin hoped that Minho would say something about his cook; how he really took pains to learn cooking from Kibum and finally it wasn’t poisonous as the fruit of his effort.
But never, Minho said anything; or even appreciated it with simple words like ‘thank you’.
“ I’m going back to class now.”
Taemin watched how the man he loved turned his back and walked away, leaving him alone, again and again.
It hurts, Hyung.
I thought I am your boyfriend.
Minho would never change.. and those cold shoulders Minho always gave to him..
Taemin sighed.
I thought I can be by your side happily.
“ Cut it out, Taemin-ah. It’s time for you to ask about his feelings and determine a decision which one you can take and whatnot,” Kibum’s voice was laced with a worry and sadness upon the helpless and painful look in Taemin’s eyes, those sparks of happiness and cuteness slowly began toppling and left hurtful feelings yet his fortitude that needed to be appreciated; because for these three months, Taemin stayed faithful on Minho’s side, no matter how that stupid head behaved towards Taemin.
“ No,” Taemin smiled weakly, “ If I ask him It’ll be an over, Hyung.”
At least I can be by his side. At least I can do something for him.
“ But Taemin,” Kibum clenched his fist, “ Seriously, I know all you asked to him was to be his boyfriend only so you can walk on his side, and stay with him! But isn’t it too much? I know you only once have fallen in love with someone, and now I can’t let my friend suffering again because of person you love!”
“ Hyung, it’s..”
Not because I only want to walk beside him, not only that I want to stay with him either.
If I can make him smile..
Taemin’s breath hitched.
If I can see his smile..
Like when I saw it for the first time..
School was already over, and Taemin sat quietly on a bench at one corner near the soccer field, waiting for Minho to finish his practice. A sound of people in the team shouting, cursing, and cheering filled the silent space around Taemin, and he smiled softly when he saw the guy he loved set his eyes on fire, not determined to lose even if it were just a practice game.
That was when Taemin could look on the real side of Minho; who hates to lose, and takes on everything in front of him boldly.
As the practice was over, Taemin finally made his way to approach the older male who only narrowed his eyes to get better view. “ Ah, it’s you.”
Taemin nodded, “ You must be tired hyung, I bring you more mineral water.”
“ Thanks,” Minho mumbled and drank in a gulp, as his adam apple bobbed up and down to savor its succulance down his throat. Taemin hurriedly helped Minho to carry his stuffs when the elder dried up his dampen hairs due to sweating excessively, “ I’ll help you to bring your shoebox, while you take care of your sportbag. Let’s go home, Hyung.”
Minho didn’t reply instead he followed Taemin silently and gave his wet hair more attention since he wasn’t a fan of being all wet and sticky. But the awkward atmosphere that hung up high in the air, Taemin only curled his fingers and entwined them altogether. Oh God, Taemin whined, this is awkward, I need to talk about something.
“ How’s your practice, Hyung?”
“ It’s good.”
And that’s all? Taemin sighed, now that he could not reply back. Too much awkwardness was floating around them, Taemin dropped his shoulders and groaned inwardly, why could not he bring up some interesting topics so at least he could talk to Minho?
‘It’s time for you to ask about his feelings.’
It was repeated in Taemin’s head over and over, damn Kibum Hyung, Taemin muttered under his breath, I can’t get this string of words out of my head now.
But even so..
Was it even a crime to ask?
Taemin took a peek over his shoulder, scanning Minho’s features with the best view he could get from glancing.
It would be a lie if Taemin denied that he didn’t want to determine Minho’s feelings towards him.
If I ask him now..
Taemin turned round, much to Minho’s surprise. The older male stared at Taemin through his long eyelashes, his big orbs sent Taemin a same spark in his chest, it never changes the fact I really love him.
“ Hyung, I - “
“ Taemin-ah?”
Taemin widened his eyes upon the familiar voice, that he used to miss and long for it every single night, everyday. A light, soft voice that called his name gently - and Taemin somehow was certain if he looked the person behind his back.. that person would greet Taemin warmly with a tender smile across his face..
And Taemin really turned away, breaking his eyes off Minho only to convince himself whether the voice’s owner was only just his imagination or not -
“ Jungmo Hyung..”
“ Do you think our relationship is still working, Taemin-ah? We will be separated with distance and time, even if it is only for two years.”
When heart crumbles and falls apart, decaying into worthless slivers..
“ I don’t know, Hyung..”
And when heart hurts..
The memories about you within me..
“ It just won’t do, Taemin-ah.”
They start fading away.
A smile flashed on the other male’s face as he scooted over towards the shocked young boy, and wrapped his arms around the slim figure eagerly, as if he finally found a missing piece in his life.
“ It has been a while, Taemin-ah,” the guy named Jungmo whispered, “ I miss you, and now I’m back.”
Taemin who had not yet recovered from a shock pouncing against him finally let Jungmo’s sudden arrival proceed in his haywire mind for a few seconds, he broke away from the hug with a small struggle. “ Hyung, it only has been a year and half, why are you - “
Jungmo’s chest heaved to look at the pale beauty closely, observing if there were a tiny feature had changed, but Taemin’s beauty was ageless as ever, he was still as beautiful as the last time Jungmo left him, or if it were possible, Taemin became more and more gorgeous.
And he once had owned that perfect being, in the past.
“ I finished my studies during the time I was in France..”
“ So.. you won’t be going back to Franch again?” Taemin hesitatingly confirmed, and then he was shocked when Jungmo’s fingers brushed his cheeks tenderly. He looked up at the older, blinking twice in confuse.
“ Well.. The reason I came back..” Jungmo rubbed the back of his neck nervously, but he had decided to get over it anyway, his dormant feelings and suffers he had experienced for the past one year and half, so he forced a smile, because this time, he had to utter everything out. “ I came back.. is because.. I want to see you again, Taemin-ah.”
The younger male immediately shot up from Jungmo’s touch, snapping his head up and shrieking, “ You want what?!” Taemin realized that they weren’t alone and he turned his back, Minho Hyung is still here and listening to us..
Yet, something wasn’t what it was supposed to be.
Why doesn’t Minho Hyung.. react on anything?
~*~
Kibum dropped his pencil onto the desk and it rolled over the surface, face screeching in horror. “ Jungmo what?”
Taemin peered up back at Kibum, the he nodded his head lightly. “ We just met yesterday and.. he said that he will come to see me again..”
“ No no, what, let me summarize whatever you’ve been telling me so far,” Kibum massaged his temples, God it was shocking the fuck of his life, “ Your past boyfriend just returned back from French after telling you nonsense stuffs about break-up and why you two should because he was planning to leave you for two years but then he turned up in front of you and your frog-eyed lover, then he suddenly hugged you, saying that he came back because he wants to see you?”
Either Taemin was feeling amused or irritated because Kibum summarized everything perfectly at the end of class when Kibum waited Taemin stuffing books into his bag, a little bit too perfect till Taemin didn’t really want to think nor picture out about it.
“ So..” Kibum crossed his arms over his chest, his chin unknowingy pointing out at the jutted out lips of Taemin. “ What was Minho’s reaction?”
Taemin’s face fell as soon as he heard Kibum’s question. “ Well, his expression didn’t change..”
That answer brought Kibum back to life after his never ending shock and crinkled the tip of his nose, “ What the heck? Even just for a little change?”
Taemin shook his head. “ Hyung.. I doubt that he loves me back. He never says it, he just lets me stay on his side like a lost puppy, not knowing what to do.”
“ But even so,” Kibum crooned, “ You aren’t planning to leave him either, are you?”
Taemin nodded, albeit this time, he didn’t know if he did that heartily or not. “ Well, I am going to see Minho Hyung now, today he doesn’t have a soccer practice, so ..”
Kibum made a gesture as ‘go ahead’ and the red-haired boy walked off to Minho’s class. He was Taemin’s senior by a year, so he was quite aware that whispers coming from Minho’s classmates and his admirers were intended to him, but Taemin ignored them. It wasn’t like they could hurt Taemin, anyway, because Taemin had felt the real hurt and pain of being totally ignored, given cold shoulders from his own boyfriend.
“ Hyung,” Taemin’s smile lit up when he saw the older boy had just finished putting the last book into his sportbag. “ Oh, Taemin-ah.”
Taemin approached him slowly and grinned, “ Do you want to have ice cream before we walk home? It’s hot at the outside. Please?”
Minho lazily agreed, because the heat was quite crazy and if someone did a wrong move and fell down, he or she might melt into a puddle. Taemin was pleading too, so there was no reason for him to refuse.
Taemin cheered in joy inwardly, but at the one side he was worried that Minho still didn’t show any sign of jealousy or bothered look on his face because of yesterday.. But Taemin shook the thought off him and said, “ Great! Now I have to tell Kibum Hyung and take my bag. You can wait me near the gate, Hyung.”
Minho complied and stared at the back that began dissolving from his sight as the petite male had gone behind a turn. He shrugged off the thought that had been racing in his mind and headed up towards the gate.. then he found himself stilling when he saw someone standing near it, also his looks had attracted a lot of female students there.
The person noticed Minho behind his sunglasses and took it off, a little bit surprised seeing Minho who was the guy behind Taemin yesterday.
“ You are..”
Minho didn’t reply, instead he held a intense staring contest with Jungmo, that person, for a while. Jungmo was the first to break off the eye-contact. “ Well, what do I have here? Aren’t you the guy who was walking with Taemin yesterday?”
“ Yeah.”
Jungmo smiled. “ I’d like to know about your relationship with Taemin.”
“ He is Taemin’s boyfriend, Jungmo.”
The two males turned their head towards the voice’s provenance which was owned by Kim Kibum, and his little friend Taemin behind his shoulder, panicking upon Kibum’s sudden bluntness. Kibum eyed Jungmo sharply, as he scurried forward to close the distance between them, feeling his temperature drop when his eyes were met with Jungmo’s. “ Why the fuck are you here and racing after Taemin?” Kibum hissed, “ After you made him cry in that summer?”
Jungmo snapped his head up, brushing Kibum’s arm litter to shove him off but he did little so Kibum was only faltering. “ You don’t understand, Kibum. I left him for my good, and I broke up with him because he could not really let me go to study abroad, even though he tried his best, I knew him!”
“ You knew nothing,” Kibum barked, “ at least you had no idea how puffy Taemin’s eyes were because of you.”
Jungmo’s skin went pale imagining it, yet he shook it off and somehow his gaze was so much determined than before, “ That’s why I came back to make up my mistake.. Even if he has a boyfriend now..” he whispered, “ Because I wish him still loving me like he used to.”
Upon those blunt interval of words, Kibum’s eyes bugged out of their sockets. He drew two steps back, and sighed. “ But Taemin is with Minho now.”
“ I know,” Jungmo smiled and leaned in to whisper, which made Kibum squawk, “ Taemin-ah, let’s meet up sometimes. How about the day after? They have a carnival and it’s also an important day.”
Taemin frowned. What could the important day be?
“ So long.” And Jungmo finally got back in his pulled up car and drove off towards somewhere else, leaving the three stunned. Taemin finalized the words by wondering about the ‘important day’, but somehow he could not remember what date today was. Must be stress had distracted him from little things, he crooned.
“ See you later, Minho-Hyung, Kibum-Hyung!” Taemin cheerfully waved to the two oldests and drifted off the ice cream stall, yet still Kibum yelled, “ Don’t trust strangers! Be careful, Taemin-ah! Also there is still an ice cream remnant above your lip!”
“ Thanks, Hyung!”
Kibum dropped his shoulders against the back of chair, laughing softly seeing his little friend being all cute waltzing like that. “ Now that I’ve forgotten about Jungmo, that guy.”
Minho didn’t answer except stirring his coffee since he wasn’t a fan of ice cream and sweet stuffs. The feline-eyed male scooped an ice cream into his mouth and asked, “ Say, do you know about Jungmo?”
“ Taemin’s ex-boyfriend?”
Kibum sighed, “ It’s not only about that. In fact, he was Taemin’s really first love. Taemin loved him so much, then they broke up after Jungmo told him that he had to study abroad. Taemin was struck in sadness for almost a year before he met you.”
Still, the other didn’t change his expression, except his eyes floating over to somewhere else, mumbling, “ I see.”
Kibum face-palmed. “ At least you can be more sensitive, Minho. Taemin likes you, doesn’t he.”
But the taller guy just remained in silent.
“ Hyung.. I can be your everything. I’ll try to be a helpful guy for you. I want to be your boyfriend, so I can stay beside you, even if it’s all you can consent.”
Minho could not understand the feelings inside his ribs, but again this time, he decided to inwardly keep it in bottle.. Somehow.
~*~
“ It’s your birthday, Taemin-ah.”
Taemin’s jaws just dropped when Kibum calmly answered his question through a phone call, and pranced off his bed to coinvince himself with a calendar.. “ Oh yeah, you’re right, Hyung.”
“ How could you forget about your own birthday?”
Taemin shyly grinned despite the fact that Kibum could not see him anyway, and he jumped back onto the bed. “ But I want to spend my birthday with Minho Hyung,” he mumbled.
“ Oh please, Taemin-ah. You can just ask him.”
“ But I can’t,” Taemin whined, “ I don’t want to.. be his burden, okay? He never shows an affection to me, so I assume asking him out isn’t a good idea.”
Because the only thing I wished from him was to be on his side, nothing else.
“ But honey, asking Minho to call off his activity to spend your birthday isn’t a crime. Why don’t you try to talk to him?”
Taemin sighed in defeat, he knew he could not win over debating with Kibum, not even in million years. He decided to call off this conversation and talk about something else.
But still..
Taemin’s mind began floating over again, if he asked Minho to spend a day with him.. and have a date.. even it needed Taemin to pay or give a treat, would it be worth?
Can I.. give a try?
~*~
Taemin hopped off his seat when the second period was over and the students in his class were dancing on their feet happily, because it meant a lunch break. He ran to ascend up the stairs towards Minho’s class, had prepared himself and also mustered up courage to ask his boyfriend out on his birthday, so Taemin took a deep breath before cracked the class’ door open..
.. only to see Minho smiling in front of few girls.
Even if it were just a sheer of smile..
But Minho never showed that smile for Taemin.
Taemin clenched the tip of his uniform, biting the lower lip a bit too harsh because seriously, why could he smile freely like that, whereas he had tried so hard to make him smile.
Taemin could feel his eyes uncontrollably squeezing up fit of tears, breathing heavily at the sight, yet he could not cry, not in Minho’s class, that would be a shame as his boyfriend..
Or did Minho even consider his exsistence at the first place?
But all I want to do on his side is to see him smile at me.
To see how happiness lingers in him.
“ Minho! Your boyfriend is waiting for you!”
Taemin’s eyes snapped and his whole body jerked up a little, shit he could not let Minho see his pathetic side, but the older had seen him and now was staring up at him. Taemin callously bit his lip more and gritted teeth next, before finally forcing a smile.. feebly.
“ I .. was thinking of something but apparently I need to call it off,” he stuttered in explaining, but what he could do? But he hoped that Minho would buy it, nonetheless.
Although he could not suppress his tears, no longer able to keep back.
“ W - Well, Hyung, I need to go..”
And before Minho could speak and catch him up in time, Taemin already ran off immediately, leaving enigma in Minho’s mind.
~*~
The whole day and the day after tomorrow, right on Taemin’s birthday, he successfully avoided Minho and compelled a smile if he met Minho accidentally, but he would be the first person to walk away and pretend that everything was okay, although it wasn’t seemingly like that.
And Minho noticed it, in the school, he only met Taemin twice and that was also Taemin running away again, something had been going on wrongly. The smile Taemin put on now wasn’t a sweet, sincere smile he always gave to Minho.
Somehow Minho felt a loss.
But when Taemin called him to meet up on the school’s rooftop, Minho complied it without a second think, wondering what was going on with the smaller boy.
“ Hyung.. It just doesn’t work again anymore.”
Yet Taemin asked for a break-up.
Minho didn’t answer, although he had to admit his heart was shaking a little - no, as if a lightning had just stricken him, why so sudden?
“ I thought I can make you smile if I stay beside you, so I tried really hard..” Taemin smiled weakly, and Minho could see his lips trembling, and his pale skin was whiter than before, “ But it won’t do. You are okay without me and..”
Taemin paused to take a deep breath.
“ .. and I realize I was so stupid for thinking like, trying to make you happy whereas you never really.. love me. You only let me as your boyfriend and to be on your side, it’s always me trying to know you better and actually when we know nothing about each other, I feel stupid and ashamed, I don’t want to be your burden too, and I have tried to accept the reality, this time I need to get over myself..” A fear and sadness latched beneath Taemin’s string of words, “ so thank you, hyung for giving me a chance...”
Taemin looked up, and Minho felt his heart clenched seeing how pale and puffy Taemin’s eyes were.. is this what Kibum said when Taemin and Jungmo broke up?
“ ... and good bye.”
A farewell was never this bitter.
~*~
“ Taemin? Did you skip class earlier? Where are you now? I called your house earlier and your mom said you are going to somewhere.”
Taemin laughed softly in the call. “ Yeah, I was too tired and now I am planning to walk up to carnival, today is my birthday, anyway.”
“ Jungmo was waiting you in front of school’s gate again and he decided to look you up..”
“ Oh well, he won’t find me in house - “
“ Taemin-ah!”
Taemin stopped.. and he turned back, widening his eyes when he saw Jungmo standing there, holding up a rose high and approaching him.
“ Are you with Minho now..”
“ No, Hyung.. We aren’t together anymore.. and.. I saw Jungmo..” Taemin mumbled incoherently, too shocked seeing Jungmo’s sudden appereance like that, was he a skilled ninja? Because whenever he turned up he never failed to shock the fuck out of Taemin’s life..
“ What.. did you - are you just kidding me, Taemin-ah? Wait - Jungmo? Taemin? Taemin? Tae - “ The call was cut off because Taemin unconsciously flipped close his phone and mouth gaped. “ Hyung? What are you doing here?”
“ Well, I was calling your house and - “
“ My mom said that I am not in place,” Taemin muttered softly, the heck everyone always checked him through his house number.
Jungmo nodded his head and offered a rose in his hand, smiling widely. “ Happy birthday. I was planning to give this in school but you weren’t there so.. I caught you up in time, apparently.”
Taemin dumbly accepted the rose and adored how red and beautiful it was, so he blinked twice and chuckled. “ Thank you, Hyung.” Even though he felt uneasy receiving a rose from his ex-lover.. but it would be rude if he rejected it. In any case, he was single anyway.. So it didn’t really butthurt him.
Oh.. being single on my birthday truly sucks.
“ Why are you here alone?” Jungmo tilted, “ Your mom said you were heading up alone but still I assumed you with Minho earlier.. yet..”
Taemin sighed. Mom screwed everything up now. “ I just broke up with him.”
Jungmo widened his eyes. “ But why?”
The slim boy looked up at the dark sky and stars, smiling feebly. “ He never really loves me.. I was wrong, but it was my fault, I asked him to go out with me so I could make him happy.. But..”
Jungmo let out a fizzle before he finally took in Taemin’s wrist, surprising the younger male. “ Oops, don’t ever talk about sad things on your birthday.. Now let’s enjoy the carnival together, we’re gonna make your day fun!”
Before Taemin could protest, Jungmo already dragged Taemin into the crowd, along with laughters and jests here and there.
~*~
“ Thank you for the dinner, mom.”
After having his dinner Minho finally ascended up the staircase and threw his body onto the bed, bouncing up and down a little. He stared up at the ceiling silently, feeling strange when his phone didn’t vibrate against the hard surface of desk violently like the usual.
Around this time Taemin was sending him a text to ask whether Minho already had his meal or not.
Minho shook off his thought. It wasn’t like he missed Taemin, was he?
But when his phone vibrated back to life, Minho arched his back and jumped off to grab his phone, but only to find the caller’s ID was Kibum. Minho sighed. “ Hello?”
“ Yah - you stupid frog. Did you just break up with Taemin?!”
Minho was quite surprised that Kibum just figured out it now, considering he was the right place to get gossips and further he was Taemin’s bestfriend.
“ Yeah.. Right. Taemin asked for it, why?”
“ You didn’t stop him? Gosh, and he really loves you. I can’t believe this..”
“ Well, he was the one who ask..” Minho mumbled.
“ And why are you here? Have you said ‘happy birthday’ to him? Seriously breaking up on your birthday isn’t pleasing..”
Minho, almost, choked on Kibum’s statement and eyes goggled out bigger than they should be. “ What - today is his birthday?!”
“ Wait what. Taemin didn’t tell you? Or top of all, you have no idea?!”
“ Yeah.. I..”
“ Choi Minho..”There was a sigh in the pause, “ I know you never said something to make Taemin happy but please, ‘happy birthday’? You are quite close to him! All of his friends congratulated him, where have you been?”
“ I .. don’t know and..”
“ While he really wished to make you smile, and you returned back his good deeds like this? Why Minho, the lowest scum of all dickheads out there.”
Even though Minho was never a person who loses his cool easily, but this time was different.
He felt like he was the biggest jerk ever.
“ .. Where is he now?”
But thanks to Kibum, Minho finally had determined something.
“ At the carnival, the center of town is holding a rousing festival now, you can look for him at there.”
I need to give Kibum a treat, later.
Minho slipped his body in a thick softball jacket and tucked in his phone and wallet, before finally running out of the door.
All of my past girlfriends and friends probably as suck as hell, so i am fed up in being nice to everyone.
They befriended with me because of my looks, my popularity.
' “ Minho, what do you think about Taemin?”
When those girls asked me like that for a sudden, I tried to think about his childish side, and his sweet, honest personality.
For the first time ever, I actually smiled to someone - because I thought everything I could about him. '
I might have been close to lose him.
Minho gritted his teeth.
But I can’t give up on anything, for now.
~*~
“ Are you having a fun now?”
Taemin nodded eagerly while munching a cotton candy happily, the sweetness melting instantly on his tongue. “ Yeah, I never really went to a carnival before, so today is fun!”
Jungmo chortled and wiped a small piece of cotton candy below Taemin’s lip gently. “ I heard there will be fireworks in twenty minutes,” he said, “ wanna see it?”
“ Yes!”
The taller male laughed upon Taemin’s excitement and cuteness so he ruffled the soft red hair affectionately. “ Let’s go.”
When they had arrived on a low mound to get a better view of the fireworks, Taemin’s eyes sparkled in anticipation. Jungmo looked at his watch and murmured, “ It’s almost the time..”
And the first firework blew up in the sky beautifully, drawing amazement on Taemin’s face. “ It’s so pretty..”
“ You like it?”
“ So much!” Taemin giggled happily and unleashed a chidlish side of him unknowingly, but that just made Jungmo could not help but smile. “ Good..”
Taemin’s giggle died down instantly at the thought that it’d be nice if he could enjoy this beautiful sight with Minho. Who knows that he would probably flash a soft smile, that Taemin actually had never seen it?
But again, Minho didn’t need him.
First time I saw him was when he sat at the center of soccer field alone, staring up at the orange sky.
His gaze looked so soft and calming, his pants of weariness settled down slowly, and he mumbled something i could not eavesdrop, but made me drawing closer to peek at him, wondering what he was thinking, that time.
But then he put on the softest smile across his face that nobody would imagine it.
The coldest ice prince in school actually could express something like that.
And I fell for his beautiful, gentle smile.
How I wished to be on his side, so I could make him happy and see that smile again.
A fat tear rolled down from one corner of Taemin’s eyes, and Jungmo caught the moment in time. The taller one became worried about something that had hurt the younger male, so he tugged Taemin’s wrist and whispered, “ What’s wrong?”
Taemin shook his head and tried to laugh playfully, “ Nothing, Hyung. It must be your imagination.”
“ What’s so wrong with my eyes when I saw a tear falling down on your cheek?”
Taemin strode two steps backwards, he didn’t plan letting Jungmo to see his weak side, so he assured him that he was okay. But Jungmo didn’t buy it, yet he stared at Taemin deeply, looking for a pain and sadness in his eyes, and there really were.
“ Is this about Minho?”
The older male could feel Taemin’s body stiffening under his touch. Jungmo sighed, “ I see. He always hurts you, doesn’t he?”
“ He..” Taemin glued his gaze at the ground, curling his toe nervously, he didn’t feel like to remember the pain again. “ I just.. think that it may be the best way and..”
“ Taemin,” Jungmo cupped Taemin’s face in his palms, forcing the ageless beauty to look at him, “ You won’t feel like that again if you are with me. I came back to make up my stupid mistakes, because I love you. Even in French, I didn’t look at anyone else because my heart craves for you. I will make you happy, Taemin. I promise.”
Taemin widened his eyes, was it even a joke? But Jungmo looked really serious and meant his words, a confidence laced in his voice, Taemin could hear that.
“ But I..”
“ Well, at least,” Jungmo cut him off again, “ I won’t hurt and ignore you as bad as him. I’ve gained a lot of information about you two, and I can’t stand at him. Please, give me a chance.”
Taemin closed his eyes.
It’s true if I end up with someone who loves me fully, maybe I can be happy..
But still..
“ It’s not like that.. Hyung..”
Jungmo narrowed his eyes. “ And why is that?”
Taemin tugged Jungmo’s arm to shove himself off and shook his head weakly, “ It is not what my heart wants.. and..” something stung in his heart, in a bad way, because he thought that Minho would never love him back, yet still.. “ I only love Minho-Hyung.. If i accept you.. then I will decieve your feelings too.. It’s just.. not right, Hyung..”
The grip around Taemin’s wrist was getting tighter. The beautiful male winced a little and looked up, seeing how determined Jungmo’s eyes were under the light of squibbed fireworks.
“ If I ask you to go out with me.. Even if it means you need a time to love me back.. It’s okay.”
That answer brought Jungmo to gently incline his head up in order to kiss the petite boy on his forehead, but Taemin stopped his action by shoving off the latter, tears dripping one by one.
“ I can’t, Hyung..” he whispered, his heart hurt that bad till he could not think straight, “ I love Minho Hyung.. so I - “
“ Do you hear him? He said no.”
A strong arm circled around his shoulders, pulling the fragile boy up, making him gasp in shock. He tried to look back, yet his vision was blurred, but he refused to believe if it were probably Minho - but why did he inhale his scent? Was it his imagination? Was the guy pulling him now actually Key?
“ Maybe he used to love you so much that you become this delusional, but now he loves me.” That deep voice continued,“ So back off. I need to take this boy back before everything is already too late.”
But Key’s voice wasn’t this husky.
That person suddenly dragged Taemin away from Jungmo who could not believe what he had seen, leaving the poor guy alone under those fireworks.
It took three minutes to proceed what just happened in his mind; Minho was here. He chased after Taemin - why did he feel so stupidly happy? Still, Taemin tried to struggle and yank away Minho’s arm, but his strong body wasn’t his match. Taemin panted when both of them stopped on a quite dark, obscure corner under trees, not too far from the previous place. Minho turned his heel after the short walk - why do I keep getting dragged repeatedly today? Taemin whined mentally.
“ Taemin, look at me.”
Minho’s husky voice sent shivers and butterflies in Taemin’s stomach, also his heart pounding faster as if it could break down his ribs.
Taemin didn’t response; instead he refused to comply with Minho. Feeling losing his patience, Minho pulled up Taemin’s chin so their gazes met, and it melted Taemin instantly, his legs giving away. He wished Minho would not stare at him like that.. because his eyes were just too beautiful.
“ I never said yes when you asked for a break-up.”
Taemin shook his head and feebly pounded his fists against Minho’s chest so the athlete would set him free, but Minho didn’t budge.
“ But you never love me. It was me who asked you out.. and i realized it was useless. It’s also for your sake, Hyung.. I..” Taemin blamed himself for being all weak, he could not finish his sentence, he just could not.
The pale beauty had expected Minho to leave him again and let him fall on his knees, crying out his heart and wailing, but it didn’t happen. Instead Minho took two steps forward, brushing his hair and tucking some part of them behind Taemin’s left ear.
“ I also never said if it were useless.”
Taemin bit his lips, his tears still running down his cheeks like a waterfall. “ W - what do you mean?”
Minho sighed.
“ Perhaps it’s weird.. It wasn’t my intention to take your confession seriously and i let you to be my lover, just because i felt it probably wasn’t a bad idea either.. because all you want was to be on my side, so i agreed..” the older male spoke up, ignoring all passers-by and keeping his eyes on the younger boy. “ But then it changed, i slowly found myself comfortable around you.. when you cooked for me.. when you smiled for me.. when you worried about me.. everything, but i assumed it was because you were being with me often, so it was maybe just my imagination. But I could not help but really dislike it when the times you were with Jungmo..”
Minho paused to search into Taemin’s eyes, they held innocence and kindnes that.. nothing could be worth to trade with them.
“ And when you asked for a break-up, I could not explain what it felt, but i was in mess because my mind was blank, i could not think of anything sanely, as if something had lost..” Minho lifted up his right hand and his fingers hovered above Taemin’s soft cheek, “ as if i have gotten used with yourcompany..”
Minho never thought he would show his feelings towards this boy, but what could he do? Those innocent eyes, sweet smile, soft expression that Taemin always showed him.. and his kindness. They were breath-taking, and the cold side of Minho slowly melted down.. although he wasn’t good in expressing his heart, but Minho was sure..
.. that this boy had captivated him entirely.
“ I love you, Taemin-ah.”
That seemed work to stop Taemin’s sniffles and sobs, yet now the small boy froze. “ No.. P - please, don’t lie to me..”
“ If I lied,” Minho calmly answered, “ I would not have raced after you.”
Taemin looked up - and he could not escape when Minho’s chapped lips were only mere inches away, and slowly pressed on Taemin’s, their lips barely brushing against the other’s softly - and that time, Taemin had no choice but to believe, because how soft and slow their kiss was, he could feel that Minho was telling him the truth.
Neither both of them would deny the love.
Neither both of them would run away and kept their feelings in bottle for the rest of world as well.
Everything was the reality - it wasn’t a one-sided love anymore. It wasn’t a guile too.
“ I love you too, Hyung,” Taemin whispered against Minho’s red lips, any adjectives could not describe his feelings.
Minho smiled softly. “ Yeah, and happy birthday, Taemin-ah.”
Finally Taemin could see that smile.
The beautiful smile, he had always wished to see again.
Taemin giggled with tears rolling down like droplets, but this time they were tears of happiness.
“ Thank you..” he murmured, “ You just smiled, Hyung.”
Minho leaned in to murmur. “ Must be your imagination.”
Taemin laughed - and they kissed again.
Under those beautiful fireworks.