軋んだ想いを吐き出したいのは存在の証明が他にないから

[chofi]

Sins. Sharing. Let's finish this.

Gluttony: Seven Guilty Pleasures

1. Does sleeping in count? I love staying in bed until I can't stand it anymore, then wandering to the kitchen for brunch. This is usually in the aftermath of family parties, so I think the association with family and togetherness helps.
2. Porn. I'm a grown-ass adult (on most days) and I'm still guilty about watching/reading porn. Hi, body shame! Hi, sex and relationship hang ups!
3. Ego pats. I should be able to give them to myself, but I give more value to the ego pats of other people. This is problematic.
4. Fast Food. I'm not a Good Fat.
5. Discovery Channel and Travel Channel They have their amounts of cultural/othering fail, but I still watch.
6. Faffing about on the computer. I'm on the computer! I could be writing/shooping/tutoring, but instead I'm reading TVTropes entries for the millionth time or on AIM. (Psst. If you want to talk to me on AIM, go right ahead. I might not answer back right away, but I'll answer.)
7. Daydreaming. This counts as guilty because I don't act on the dreaming. See: being on the computer, but not writing/shooping/tutoring.

Lust: Seven Love Secrets

1. I dread telling my parents that I'm attracted to women. I think my mom knows already, but since she also thinks bisexuals don't exist--no, I don't know her thoughts on purple or English majors--things might get interesting. I'm also dreading it because I'm still financially dependent on them, and should things turn out very bad, I'm stuck. The last reason whey I'm dreading it is because I'd be the only one who's out as not-heterosexual from this generation in my family. So, not only would I be the smart one, the fat one, and the single one, I'd also be the gay one. Yes, the gay one, even though I'm attracted to men.
2. My attractions vary from moment to moment. I seem to go into "man phases" and "woman phases", which also vary in intensity.
3. I am attracted to similar things in men and women. Tallish, nerdy, not so much crazy outgoing as able to shift from hermit to wanting to go out. Glasses optional. Every single one of my crushes fits into three of four of these categories. They also tend to be more conforming with Western physical ideals. (i.e., They are thinner than I am. Which means I fail at the whole fat acceptance thing.)
4. Clothes kinks This one isn't so much of a secret to people who I've talked to online. But yeah, I can pervert think of all aspects of clothing--textures, fits, fabrics, symbols of social standing, etc.--as hot depending on the situation.
5. Crush Fails I don't tell my crushes about my feelings, they go and find someone else, I continue hating myself and feeling unloveable. Repeat.
6. A Query: Why ask me for romantic advice? Does my "never had an SO" status give me some sort of impartiality that I don't know about? Is this an extention of "you're the smart one"? I know that the askers ask because they know that I know them and their feelings well enough, but can step outside and see things from other angles, but it's still odd. Wouldn't you want someone with successful experience in these matters? Then again, I get annoyed when someone who seems like they've never failed in their life starts telling me about what I've done wrong.
7. Thank you fandom. Otherwise, I'd probably be in another, more repressed place.