Affection Touching Across Time 1/2
Characters: Yesung and Siwon, and some other casts
Pairing: Yewon
Genre: Romance
Rating: probably pg-15
warning: I'm sucks on writing.. and English.. i dont even know how i manage writing this
“You have to go!”
“No! I’m not going anywhere without you.”
“Please, you need to save yourself. I promise I’ll come after you soon.”
“You have promised me.”
“Yes. I promise. I’ll come and see you.”
.
.
Siwon wakes up abruptly. He looks exhausted, his breath is ragged and his body is sweating as if he has just run for miles. Siwon holds her chest, feeling a very painful ache in his heart. The man closes his eyes, trying to recall the dream he just had, the very same dream he has for these couple months. But no matter how hard he tries to remember what the dream is about, he couldn’t get anything but a painful feeling as if he has just lost someone really important to him. Everything is blur but the pain feels so vivid.
Siwon sighs then gets up from his bed. He tosses his already wet T-shirt to the floor before going to bathroom. Siwon washes his face, trying to calm his feeling and mind. He can’t remember the whole dream except several fragments of it. He knows the dream is about a chaos in an unknown place - kind of a small village. There is someone running but then he falls on his knees, crying hard for losing someone precious for him. And his dream will always end in the very same picture, a man looking at the burnt village.
Somehow, Siwon feels that the man in his dream is also named Choi Siwon. But straengly he feels like that Siwon is not him.
.
.
As if someone pulling his body, Yesung suddenly gets up. His breath is short and loud, and the small man can feel sweat running on his back. Yesung frowns, feeling a sharp pain on his left stomach. The said man opens his t-shirt then touches his stomach. He lets out a loud sigh, feeling relieve there is nothing wrong with his stomach, though the pain is still there. It feels like he is just being stabbed by a sharp thing - knife or things like that.
Yesung bites his lips. The very same dream. Again.
Yesung cannot understand why but he keeps on having the same dream these last few months, and he will wake up with the same pain in his stomach. Yesung is never able to catch the whole picture in his dream. What he can remember is the picture of someone who looks like himself and a glimpse of a tall person he cannot recognize. Yesung moves his hand to this chest. Always. The pain in his stomach comes along with the longing feeling.
No, Yesung cannot call this dream as a nightmare because nightmare makes you frightened or scared when you wake up, right? This dream, it does not make Yesung scared. It gives the said man hurt feeling instead, sometimes he even woke up with tears running down on his cheeks.
.
.
.
“Yak, Choi Siwon! We’re waiting!!” Eun Hyuk that is standing beside a car shouted.
“I’m coming!” Siwon puts on his shirt on top his wet T-shirt then grabs his bag before running to the car. Siwon sits on the backseat, beside Doo Joon, while Eun Hyuk sits on the front seat.
“So, tonight Eun Hyuk gonna pay for our dinner!! Yeaaaah!!” shouted Siwon happily with a wide grin plastered on his handsome face. Eun Hyuk pouts his lip and sighs.
“You know there is no way you can beat Siwon in sports, don’t you? And still you make that stupid bet with him.” Leeteuk, the oldest of the group commented with his eyes shifted for a while from the road in front of him to the annoyed Eun Hyuk.
“Yeah. There is no way Eun Hyuk hyung can beat Siwon hyung,” Doo Joon, the magnae of the group, made Eun Hyuk feeling more annoyed.
“I have practiced a lot!!! I just thought I can beat that sport-freak Siwon.”
Both Doo Joon and Leeteuk laugh loudly, as if Eun Hyuk has just thrown a joke. “Hyung, “ said Doo Joon between his laugh. “Siwon hyung join my soccer team last week, when we had this friendly match with another team. And he played really well! He scored twice!!” Doo Joon really sounds like Siwon’s fan now.
Siwon, Eun Hyuk and Leeteuk are working in an event organizer company they established together, while Doo Joon is a new employee in their place. Everyone around Siwon knows that the guy really likes playing sports ever since he was a kid, and he definitely is great in it. Siwon himself does not really know why he is so attached to sports. It’s just something in his mind that keeps on telling him to be a strong man and to have a healthy body. It’s not about having good lifestyle as advised by the sports magazine he sometimes read, or looking sexy with that muscular body. He does sport because he has to - and surprisingly for an unknown reason.
“So, what are we gonna have for dinner?” asked Leeteuk, the driver plus the owner of the car they are riding.
“Samgyupsal!!” Siwon answered quickly, probably without even thinking.
“Again?” replied Eun Hyuk. “Didn’t you tell me you had dinner there last night? And the night before, and the night before. Aren’t you bored?”
Siwon just shrugs. “I like it,” replied him short. Everyone in the car just shakes their head. There is this restaurant near their office that serves samgyupsal. The place is small and the food isn’t that special either. But they just like the familiar atmosphere in that restaurant, and the super kind owner that sometimes gives them free bottles of soju. But no matter how much they like the place, eating there every single night like Siwon does is still too much.
“Ah, you’re here!” Shindong, the owner of the restaurant, welcomed the group. Doo Joon waves his hand while the rest directly head to one of the empty tables after smiled at the big man. Not long after the group sit, a small man comes to their table, bringing some bottles of soju and a plate of meat.
“Thank you,” said Siwon to the man, and as usual Siwon only gets a smile as the respond. Siwon’s eyes then start following the small man as he is serving or cleaning other tables. Siwon cannot understand why but there is something with that man that attracts Siwon’s attention since the very first time he saw the smaller man.
“You really like him, huh?” the mocking voice of Eun Hyuk made Siwon turns his head to the talking man, confused look on his face. “That man, Yesung. You like him, right?” Eun Hyuk pointed their object of conversation with his chin.
“So our Siwon finally falls in love? Is that why you keep on coming to this restaurant? He’s kind of cute. So, I guess you two will look good together.” Leeteuk puts his arm around Siwon’s shoulder and laughs.
“Should we throw a party then? Finally the sports-freak Siwon loves someone, not a random ball,” said Eun Hyuk. Siwon looks at them, still with his confused face, then he shrugs his shoulder.
“I don’t know,” replied Siwon honestly. “I never like anyone before, or falling in love,” added the muscular man with lower voice. Siwon sighs and stare at the table blankly. Siwon never really gives a thought about it, but he has just realized that he never falls in love with anyone, boys or girls, even puppy love in high school.
“I never fall in love,” Siwon repeated, more like to himself. Siwon steals a glance to Yesung once again, and right at the same time, Yesung looks at Siwon. For a few seconds, an indescribable feeling is rushing in their minds, filling their veins to the very core of their hearts. Something makes their stomach tingling.
“Yak! What’s going on with you? You keep on looking at Yesung like an idiot,” Eun Hyuk whispered to Siwon, making the taller man reluctantly pays his attention back to his friend.
“If you like him then just ask him out,” Doo Joon finally giving comment after watching Siwon’s odd behavior.
Siwon sighs then shakes his head lightly, “I don’t know,” he said the very same sentence again. If only he understand his own feeling right now, it might be a little bit easier for him. But the problem is there is something about Yesung, and it’s not just as simple as ‘liking’ or ‘falling in love’ to Yesung.
.
.
It’s past midnight already but all Siwon does is just tossing his body to the left and right. He can’t sleep at all even though he has already lain on his bed for two hours now. Siwon finally gets up. For several minutes, he just stares blankly at the wall in front him. His brain seems empty.
The tall man gets off his bed then walks slowly to the kitchen. He takes out a bottle of mineral water and drinks it. The said man then sways his feet to the living room. He leans his body on the wall, right next to the window. Siwon looks at the moon that looks perfect tonight. For the nth time today, Siwon sighs loudly. It seems like Siwon cannot read his own mind and feeling lately. Just like right now, when he is suddenly missing someone but he does not know to whom this longing feeling belong.
.
.
Yesung raises his hand, and stares at the light of the moon that touches his hand. The said man then turns his head a little bit, looking at the shining moon through the window near his bed. For a quite long time, Yesung just stay still, staring at the round object on the night sky. Yesung frowns a little bit when suddenly flashing images fill his mind. He sees two persons, sitting next to each other and watching the moon, just like him tonight. But Yesung cannot figure out who those persons are. And when those images have already gone, Yesung is left with nothing but a confused mind and longing feeling.
.
.
Siwon does not know how long or how far he has been running. All he knows is he needs to run. He has to run. Ignoring the fact that it’s in the middle of winter now and the weather is definitely freezing. Siwon feels that he needs to do something to distract his mind, otherwise he will be crazy because of that weird, strange dreams. Oh, right, lately those images of running and crying man is not only part of his dreams but there are times when those images come even when he is wide awake during the day.
After long hours of running, Siwon’s legs finally give up and the owner decides it’s better to take a rest. Siwon stops at some park in an unknown neighborhood which he believes quite far from where he lives. The park is not really big and it’s empty, well, remembering how cold this morning is then it’s normal to expect no one coming to that park.
As Siwon is about to sit on one of the empty benches, his eyes catch a figure sitting on the swing beside a big tree. Siwon walks closer to the person and somehow his heart skips a beat when the tall man recognizes the small male sitting.
“Yesung?” called Siwon softly but loud enough for the petite man to hear. Yesung looks at Siwon and for few slow minutes there is nothing he does but staring at the man who has just called him.
“Are you living near this park? I’m Siwon, remember? I like coming to your uncle’s restaurant. I was just running then take a rest here. Are you coming here alone?,” Siwon does not know how on earth he is suddenly rambling. He’s not a talkative type person like Eun Hyuk or Leeteuk, but just now he surprisingly talked longer than he usually does.
Again, Yesung only stares at the talking man before he finally stands up, surprising Siwon, then walks pass through the taller man. Siwon’s brows knitted.
“Hey, what’s wrong? Did I just say something wrong? Or I made you mad?” asked Siwon while grabbing Yesung’s forearm. A confused look can be seen clearly on Siwon’s face since Yesung does not utter a word or even a sound. The small man casts his head down and shakes his head lightly.
“Why aren’t you looking at me or answer me? Did I just do something wrong?” repeated the still confused Siwon, cleary Yesung’s responds did not answer any of his questions.
But then Yesung only shakes his head, still not looking at the man talking to him. Yesung moves his hand, trying to release himself from Siwon, but the taller man’s grip is only getting stronger. Yesung finally looks at Siwon, with fear slightly seen in his almond-shape eyes.
“Why are you trying to run away from me?” asked Siwon. Yesung shakes his head for the third time.
“Yak!” somehow Yesung’s silent response makes him losing his patient and makes the taller man unconsciously shouted. Even Siwon feels surprised since he really is not himself today.
Yesung stares at the man in front of him, this time in horror.
“I’m-,” Siwon was just about to apologize when the small man pull his hand as hard as he can the run fast, leaving Siwon feeling guilty and idiot. Siwon keeps on cursing on his idiot act on his way back to the apartment. He really wanted to run after Yesung and apologized to the smaller man, but apparently Yesung run too fast. To make it worse, Siwon does not know where he lived or where Shindong lived. He probably can only see Yesung in Shindong restaurant which is still close now since it will be open around noon.
.
.
Siwon literally rushes out of his office exactly when the working time is over, making the others confused but he does not even have time to explain anything to his confused co-workers. Siwon tries to arrive at the restaurant as fast as he can. Siwon’s eyes sweep around the restaurant when he finally sets his foot at that place, trying to find the person he’s looking for.
“You’re coming alone?” Shindong walked to Siwon who is still standing in front of the door.
“Where is Yesung?” asked Siwon without even bother to answer Shindong’s previous question.
The big man sighs at the mentioning of Yesung. “He hasn’t come out of his room since this morning. I don’t know why.”
“Something happened to him?” Siwon looked worried, making Shindong confused.
“What’s wrong actually? Did something happen between you and Yesung which I’m not aware of?”
Siwon rubs his face roughly then lets out a loud sigh. “I met Yesung this morning, in the park-,”
“Let’s have a seat,” Shindong cut Siwon’s sentence then walks to the nearest seat.
“Every morning,” Shindong started talking. “Yesung will walk alone, around our neighborhood for about one or two hours. But today, he came back earlier than usual and he just head directly to his room without even saying hi to me or my wife, which is also unusual. He also just refused when I asked him to go here. So, you said you met him this morning?” Shindong eyed Siwon.
Siwon scratches the back of his head awkwardly, “I happened to meet him when I was jogging. I wanted to take a rest in a park, I guess it’s near your place. Then I saw him. I tried to talk to him but he just run.”
“You must have scared him.”
“Huh?” Siwon cannot really understand. “Well, eumm… I kind of shout at him.. I mean, not angry or cursing him.. it’s just I accidentally raising my voice when he didn’t reply any of my question and trying to avoid me instead.”
“Yesung used to have this trauma. You know… I’ve told you before when I introduced you all to Yesung three months ago that he is the son of my younger sister who died in a car accident.” Three months ago? Siwon suddenly remembers that he started having that weird dream three months ago. Does the dream have something to do with Yesung? Siwon cannot help but wondering about this possibility he missed.
“Abouth five months ago.” Shidndong’s low and sad voice made Siwon turns his attention back to the big man. Shindong told Siwon that five months ago he got a call from a hospital in Busan saying that Yesung was sent to the hospital by the police. After the death of his sister, Shindong actually kind of lost contact with Yesung. He only knew that Yesung lived with his step father in Busan. It turned out that Yesung’s step father had tortured him ever since his mother passed away. When one of his neighbors found out about Yesung’s condition, he eventually called the police and had the step father arrested. At that time, Yesung was found in a very bad condition. He hadn’t eaten anything for days and he had bruises all over his body. The worst was he would avoid any contact with anyone and also lost his voice. The doctors said that Yesung lost his voice due to the huge trauma he experienced.
It took almost two months for Shindong to be able to bring Yesung back to Seoul with him because the said man always being hysterical whenever someone got close to him, even his own uncle. His condition is getting better now as he can interact with others quite well, but his voice hasn’t returned yet.
Siwon feels more guilty after hearing the whole story of Yesung, “so that’s why he didn’t say anything when I asked him,” said the muscular man regretting his stupid act this morning. “And I even made him scared when I raised my voice.”
.
.
Siwon takes a deep breath then blows it very slowly through his mouth. The tall man is now standing in front of Yesung’s door. Shindong kindly took Siwon to his house and let the man meeting Yesung who is apparently still in his room. The big man then left Siwon since he couldn’t leave his restaurant for too long.
Siwon knocks the door in front of him carefully. The standing man bites his lips when there is no sound coming from the inside few minutes after he knocks the door. Siwon tries to knock once again. “Yesung-ssi,” he called the owner of the room. “It’s me, Siwon. Listen, I just want to apologize for scaring you this morning. I really didn’t mean to yell at you. I’m really sorry.”
Siwon puts his ear on the flat wood in front of him, trying to catch any possible sound from the bedroom. After waiting for another minute and still no respond from the person currently occupying the bedroom, Siwon finally decides that maybe it’ll better for him to leave and return tomorrow. But just before the man turns his body, the door knob is moving. A few seconds later, a man appears behind the door.
A guilty look is clearly seen on Siwon’s face when the tall man sees the puffy and red eyes of the small man in front of him. It seems like Yesung has cried for hours. “Yesung-ssi, I’m so sorry for what I did before. I really didn’t mean to scare you,” Siwon repeated his apology.
Yesung takes a glance at Siwon for a while before casts down his head and nods, hinting that he has forgiven Siwon.
“Thank you.” Though he knows Yesung doesn’t see his face now, the talking man still put a grateful smile on his now relieved face. After a while, Yesung lifts his head and as their gazes meet, Siwon, out of sudden, pulls Yesung into his arms and hugs the smaller man. Though feeling confused, Yesung just stays in Siwon’s arms. The petite man does not push Siwon nor hugs Siwon back. He just stands still.
Right when they feel each other’s heat, the longing feeling starts flooding their minds as if they have been separated for long time. Yesung can feel his rapid heartbeat while flash of images start filling Siwon’s mind, the images of someone who really looks like Yesung but wear clothes he never know. The images moves too fast and there are too many things to recognize, making Siwon’s head dizzy.
Siwon is the first who breaks the hug. The younger man holds his head and groans loudly as if something has just hit his head hardly. Yesung grabs Siwon’s shoulder instantly. Siwon is almost fall to the floor due to the instant and unbearable pain in his head, but luckilyYesung can hold Siwon’s body then he carefully leads Siwon to his room and sits the tall man on the edge of his bed. Yesung gets out of the room for a while then returns with a glass of water in his hand.
Yesung gives the water to Siwon which the man gladly takes. Siwon gives the already empty glass back to Yesung and murmuring thank you to the still standing man.
“I’m okay,” said Siwon realizing the worried look Yesung has. “Really,” Siwon tried to assure the man. Yesung lets out a relieved sigh then puts the glass on the small table next to the bed. Siwon pats the empty space next to him, asking the small man to sit beside him.
“Say, Yesung. Have we already met before this? I mean, before we met in your uncle’s restaurant,” asked Siwon when Yesung already sit beside him. Yesung knits his eyebrows and he looks at Siwon with a serious face, maybe trying to recall his memory. Siwon definitely sees how for a few seconds, the look on Yesung face is changed as if the said man remembers something, but then it soon changes into his usual calm look when Yesung shakes his head.
“Are you sure? Maybe we passed by somewhere in the past. Because somehow you look familiar to me,” asked Siwon again, but Yesung still gives the same answer. He shakes his head.
“Okay. Maybe I happened to meet someone looked like you. Or, maybe I’m just wrong.” Siwon finally gives up.
.
.
Siwon tries to run as fast as he can to a certain park that he has been visited frequently these last few days. There are so many things that Siwon cannot really understand lately, like why he keeps on having that weird dream, why he has indescribable interest to Yesung, or why he can’t stop visiting the said man in Shindong restaurant every evening and at that park near Shindong’s house every morning. Siwon doesn’t even care if he has to run quite far from his house just to meet Yesung in that park or he has to eat the very same menu every single night in Shindong’s restaurant. All he cares and all he wants is meeting Yesung.
“Hi,” said Siwon when he finally reaches the park with panting breath and sees Yesung sitting in his usual seat - the swing. Yesung looks at Siwon and smiles - a very beautiful smile in Siwon’s opinion. The small man takes out a bottle of milk from his bag and gives it to Siwon.
“Thanks,” uttered Siwon as he takes the empty swing next to Yesung’s. It’s been their daily routine these last few days. Siwon will meet Yesung at the park and the small man will give him a bottle of milk. After that Siwon will start talking about many stuffs, from his works to his scary high school teacher. While Yesung will listen to Siwon. He still does not say any words, but his expressions will change from time to time. Sometimes he puts his serious face, and some other time he laughs silently, making his already small eyes turn into crescent shape. Other people who see these two guys might not understand how can they communicate each other, but for them, it’s not about having conversations. For them, it’s as simple as enjoying each other presence.
-tbc-
it's supposed to be one shot, but, well, i can only manage writing this long so far... so, let's just make it as chaptered... kekekeke
Pairing: Yewon
Genre: Romance
Rating: probably pg-15
warning: I'm sucks on writing.. and English.. i dont even know how i manage writing this
“You have to go!”
“No! I’m not going anywhere without you.”
“Please, you need to save yourself. I promise I’ll come after you soon.”
“You have promised me.”
“Yes. I promise. I’ll come and see you.”
.
.
Siwon wakes up abruptly. He looks exhausted, his breath is ragged and his body is sweating as if he has just run for miles. Siwon holds her chest, feeling a very painful ache in his heart. The man closes his eyes, trying to recall the dream he just had, the very same dream he has for these couple months. But no matter how hard he tries to remember what the dream is about, he couldn’t get anything but a painful feeling as if he has just lost someone really important to him. Everything is blur but the pain feels so vivid.
Siwon sighs then gets up from his bed. He tosses his already wet T-shirt to the floor before going to bathroom. Siwon washes his face, trying to calm his feeling and mind. He can’t remember the whole dream except several fragments of it. He knows the dream is about a chaos in an unknown place - kind of a small village. There is someone running but then he falls on his knees, crying hard for losing someone precious for him. And his dream will always end in the very same picture, a man looking at the burnt village.
Somehow, Siwon feels that the man in his dream is also named Choi Siwon. But straengly he feels like that Siwon is not him.
.
.
As if someone pulling his body, Yesung suddenly gets up. His breath is short and loud, and the small man can feel sweat running on his back. Yesung frowns, feeling a sharp pain on his left stomach. The said man opens his t-shirt then touches his stomach. He lets out a loud sigh, feeling relieve there is nothing wrong with his stomach, though the pain is still there. It feels like he is just being stabbed by a sharp thing - knife or things like that.
Yesung bites his lips. The very same dream. Again.
Yesung cannot understand why but he keeps on having the same dream these last few months, and he will wake up with the same pain in his stomach. Yesung is never able to catch the whole picture in his dream. What he can remember is the picture of someone who looks like himself and a glimpse of a tall person he cannot recognize. Yesung moves his hand to this chest. Always. The pain in his stomach comes along with the longing feeling.
No, Yesung cannot call this dream as a nightmare because nightmare makes you frightened or scared when you wake up, right? This dream, it does not make Yesung scared. It gives the said man hurt feeling instead, sometimes he even woke up with tears running down on his cheeks.
.
.
.
“Yak, Choi Siwon! We’re waiting!!” Eun Hyuk that is standing beside a car shouted.
“I’m coming!” Siwon puts on his shirt on top his wet T-shirt then grabs his bag before running to the car. Siwon sits on the backseat, beside Doo Joon, while Eun Hyuk sits on the front seat.
“So, tonight Eun Hyuk gonna pay for our dinner!! Yeaaaah!!” shouted Siwon happily with a wide grin plastered on his handsome face. Eun Hyuk pouts his lip and sighs.
“You know there is no way you can beat Siwon in sports, don’t you? And still you make that stupid bet with him.” Leeteuk, the oldest of the group commented with his eyes shifted for a while from the road in front of him to the annoyed Eun Hyuk.
“Yeah. There is no way Eun Hyuk hyung can beat Siwon hyung,” Doo Joon, the magnae of the group, made Eun Hyuk feeling more annoyed.
“I have practiced a lot!!! I just thought I can beat that sport-freak Siwon.”
Both Doo Joon and Leeteuk laugh loudly, as if Eun Hyuk has just thrown a joke. “Hyung, “ said Doo Joon between his laugh. “Siwon hyung join my soccer team last week, when we had this friendly match with another team. And he played really well! He scored twice!!” Doo Joon really sounds like Siwon’s fan now.
Siwon, Eun Hyuk and Leeteuk are working in an event organizer company they established together, while Doo Joon is a new employee in their place. Everyone around Siwon knows that the guy really likes playing sports ever since he was a kid, and he definitely is great in it. Siwon himself does not really know why he is so attached to sports. It’s just something in his mind that keeps on telling him to be a strong man and to have a healthy body. It’s not about having good lifestyle as advised by the sports magazine he sometimes read, or looking sexy with that muscular body. He does sport because he has to - and surprisingly for an unknown reason.
“So, what are we gonna have for dinner?” asked Leeteuk, the driver plus the owner of the car they are riding.
“Samgyupsal!!” Siwon answered quickly, probably without even thinking.
“Again?” replied Eun Hyuk. “Didn’t you tell me you had dinner there last night? And the night before, and the night before. Aren’t you bored?”
Siwon just shrugs. “I like it,” replied him short. Everyone in the car just shakes their head. There is this restaurant near their office that serves samgyupsal. The place is small and the food isn’t that special either. But they just like the familiar atmosphere in that restaurant, and the super kind owner that sometimes gives them free bottles of soju. But no matter how much they like the place, eating there every single night like Siwon does is still too much.
“Ah, you’re here!” Shindong, the owner of the restaurant, welcomed the group. Doo Joon waves his hand while the rest directly head to one of the empty tables after smiled at the big man. Not long after the group sit, a small man comes to their table, bringing some bottles of soju and a plate of meat.
“Thank you,” said Siwon to the man, and as usual Siwon only gets a smile as the respond. Siwon’s eyes then start following the small man as he is serving or cleaning other tables. Siwon cannot understand why but there is something with that man that attracts Siwon’s attention since the very first time he saw the smaller man.
“You really like him, huh?” the mocking voice of Eun Hyuk made Siwon turns his head to the talking man, confused look on his face. “That man, Yesung. You like him, right?” Eun Hyuk pointed their object of conversation with his chin.
“So our Siwon finally falls in love? Is that why you keep on coming to this restaurant? He’s kind of cute. So, I guess you two will look good together.” Leeteuk puts his arm around Siwon’s shoulder and laughs.
“Should we throw a party then? Finally the sports-freak Siwon loves someone, not a random ball,” said Eun Hyuk. Siwon looks at them, still with his confused face, then he shrugs his shoulder.
“I don’t know,” replied Siwon honestly. “I never like anyone before, or falling in love,” added the muscular man with lower voice. Siwon sighs and stare at the table blankly. Siwon never really gives a thought about it, but he has just realized that he never falls in love with anyone, boys or girls, even puppy love in high school.
“I never fall in love,” Siwon repeated, more like to himself. Siwon steals a glance to Yesung once again, and right at the same time, Yesung looks at Siwon. For a few seconds, an indescribable feeling is rushing in their minds, filling their veins to the very core of their hearts. Something makes their stomach tingling.
“Yak! What’s going on with you? You keep on looking at Yesung like an idiot,” Eun Hyuk whispered to Siwon, making the taller man reluctantly pays his attention back to his friend.
“If you like him then just ask him out,” Doo Joon finally giving comment after watching Siwon’s odd behavior.
Siwon sighs then shakes his head lightly, “I don’t know,” he said the very same sentence again. If only he understand his own feeling right now, it might be a little bit easier for him. But the problem is there is something about Yesung, and it’s not just as simple as ‘liking’ or ‘falling in love’ to Yesung.
.
.
It’s past midnight already but all Siwon does is just tossing his body to the left and right. He can’t sleep at all even though he has already lain on his bed for two hours now. Siwon finally gets up. For several minutes, he just stares blankly at the wall in front him. His brain seems empty.
The tall man gets off his bed then walks slowly to the kitchen. He takes out a bottle of mineral water and drinks it. The said man then sways his feet to the living room. He leans his body on the wall, right next to the window. Siwon looks at the moon that looks perfect tonight. For the nth time today, Siwon sighs loudly. It seems like Siwon cannot read his own mind and feeling lately. Just like right now, when he is suddenly missing someone but he does not know to whom this longing feeling belong.
.
.
Yesung raises his hand, and stares at the light of the moon that touches his hand. The said man then turns his head a little bit, looking at the shining moon through the window near his bed. For a quite long time, Yesung just stay still, staring at the round object on the night sky. Yesung frowns a little bit when suddenly flashing images fill his mind. He sees two persons, sitting next to each other and watching the moon, just like him tonight. But Yesung cannot figure out who those persons are. And when those images have already gone, Yesung is left with nothing but a confused mind and longing feeling.
.
.
Siwon does not know how long or how far he has been running. All he knows is he needs to run. He has to run. Ignoring the fact that it’s in the middle of winter now and the weather is definitely freezing. Siwon feels that he needs to do something to distract his mind, otherwise he will be crazy because of that weird, strange dreams. Oh, right, lately those images of running and crying man is not only part of his dreams but there are times when those images come even when he is wide awake during the day.
After long hours of running, Siwon’s legs finally give up and the owner decides it’s better to take a rest. Siwon stops at some park in an unknown neighborhood which he believes quite far from where he lives. The park is not really big and it’s empty, well, remembering how cold this morning is then it’s normal to expect no one coming to that park.
As Siwon is about to sit on one of the empty benches, his eyes catch a figure sitting on the swing beside a big tree. Siwon walks closer to the person and somehow his heart skips a beat when the tall man recognizes the small male sitting.
“Yesung?” called Siwon softly but loud enough for the petite man to hear. Yesung looks at Siwon and for few slow minutes there is nothing he does but staring at the man who has just called him.
“Are you living near this park? I’m Siwon, remember? I like coming to your uncle’s restaurant. I was just running then take a rest here. Are you coming here alone?,” Siwon does not know how on earth he is suddenly rambling. He’s not a talkative type person like Eun Hyuk or Leeteuk, but just now he surprisingly talked longer than he usually does.
Again, Yesung only stares at the talking man before he finally stands up, surprising Siwon, then walks pass through the taller man. Siwon’s brows knitted.
“Hey, what’s wrong? Did I just say something wrong? Or I made you mad?” asked Siwon while grabbing Yesung’s forearm. A confused look can be seen clearly on Siwon’s face since Yesung does not utter a word or even a sound. The small man casts his head down and shakes his head lightly.
“Why aren’t you looking at me or answer me? Did I just do something wrong?” repeated the still confused Siwon, cleary Yesung’s responds did not answer any of his questions.
But then Yesung only shakes his head, still not looking at the man talking to him. Yesung moves his hand, trying to release himself from Siwon, but the taller man’s grip is only getting stronger. Yesung finally looks at Siwon, with fear slightly seen in his almond-shape eyes.
“Why are you trying to run away from me?” asked Siwon. Yesung shakes his head for the third time.
“Yak!” somehow Yesung’s silent response makes him losing his patient and makes the taller man unconsciously shouted. Even Siwon feels surprised since he really is not himself today.
Yesung stares at the man in front of him, this time in horror.
“I’m-,” Siwon was just about to apologize when the small man pull his hand as hard as he can the run fast, leaving Siwon feeling guilty and idiot. Siwon keeps on cursing on his idiot act on his way back to the apartment. He really wanted to run after Yesung and apologized to the smaller man, but apparently Yesung run too fast. To make it worse, Siwon does not know where he lived or where Shindong lived. He probably can only see Yesung in Shindong restaurant which is still close now since it will be open around noon.
.
.
Siwon literally rushes out of his office exactly when the working time is over, making the others confused but he does not even have time to explain anything to his confused co-workers. Siwon tries to arrive at the restaurant as fast as he can. Siwon’s eyes sweep around the restaurant when he finally sets his foot at that place, trying to find the person he’s looking for.
“You’re coming alone?” Shindong walked to Siwon who is still standing in front of the door.
“Where is Yesung?” asked Siwon without even bother to answer Shindong’s previous question.
The big man sighs at the mentioning of Yesung. “He hasn’t come out of his room since this morning. I don’t know why.”
“Something happened to him?” Siwon looked worried, making Shindong confused.
“What’s wrong actually? Did something happen between you and Yesung which I’m not aware of?”
Siwon rubs his face roughly then lets out a loud sigh. “I met Yesung this morning, in the park-,”
“Let’s have a seat,” Shindong cut Siwon’s sentence then walks to the nearest seat.
“Every morning,” Shindong started talking. “Yesung will walk alone, around our neighborhood for about one or two hours. But today, he came back earlier than usual and he just head directly to his room without even saying hi to me or my wife, which is also unusual. He also just refused when I asked him to go here. So, you said you met him this morning?” Shindong eyed Siwon.
Siwon scratches the back of his head awkwardly, “I happened to meet him when I was jogging. I wanted to take a rest in a park, I guess it’s near your place. Then I saw him. I tried to talk to him but he just run.”
“You must have scared him.”
“Huh?” Siwon cannot really understand. “Well, eumm… I kind of shout at him.. I mean, not angry or cursing him.. it’s just I accidentally raising my voice when he didn’t reply any of my question and trying to avoid me instead.”
“Yesung used to have this trauma. You know… I’ve told you before when I introduced you all to Yesung three months ago that he is the son of my younger sister who died in a car accident.” Three months ago? Siwon suddenly remembers that he started having that weird dream three months ago. Does the dream have something to do with Yesung? Siwon cannot help but wondering about this possibility he missed.
“Abouth five months ago.” Shidndong’s low and sad voice made Siwon turns his attention back to the big man. Shindong told Siwon that five months ago he got a call from a hospital in Busan saying that Yesung was sent to the hospital by the police. After the death of his sister, Shindong actually kind of lost contact with Yesung. He only knew that Yesung lived with his step father in Busan. It turned out that Yesung’s step father had tortured him ever since his mother passed away. When one of his neighbors found out about Yesung’s condition, he eventually called the police and had the step father arrested. At that time, Yesung was found in a very bad condition. He hadn’t eaten anything for days and he had bruises all over his body. The worst was he would avoid any contact with anyone and also lost his voice. The doctors said that Yesung lost his voice due to the huge trauma he experienced.
It took almost two months for Shindong to be able to bring Yesung back to Seoul with him because the said man always being hysterical whenever someone got close to him, even his own uncle. His condition is getting better now as he can interact with others quite well, but his voice hasn’t returned yet.
Siwon feels more guilty after hearing the whole story of Yesung, “so that’s why he didn’t say anything when I asked him,” said the muscular man regretting his stupid act this morning. “And I even made him scared when I raised my voice.”
.
.
Siwon takes a deep breath then blows it very slowly through his mouth. The tall man is now standing in front of Yesung’s door. Shindong kindly took Siwon to his house and let the man meeting Yesung who is apparently still in his room. The big man then left Siwon since he couldn’t leave his restaurant for too long.
Siwon knocks the door in front of him carefully. The standing man bites his lips when there is no sound coming from the inside few minutes after he knocks the door. Siwon tries to knock once again. “Yesung-ssi,” he called the owner of the room. “It’s me, Siwon. Listen, I just want to apologize for scaring you this morning. I really didn’t mean to yell at you. I’m really sorry.”
Siwon puts his ear on the flat wood in front of him, trying to catch any possible sound from the bedroom. After waiting for another minute and still no respond from the person currently occupying the bedroom, Siwon finally decides that maybe it’ll better for him to leave and return tomorrow. But just before the man turns his body, the door knob is moving. A few seconds later, a man appears behind the door.
A guilty look is clearly seen on Siwon’s face when the tall man sees the puffy and red eyes of the small man in front of him. It seems like Yesung has cried for hours. “Yesung-ssi, I’m so sorry for what I did before. I really didn’t mean to scare you,” Siwon repeated his apology.
Yesung takes a glance at Siwon for a while before casts down his head and nods, hinting that he has forgiven Siwon.
“Thank you.” Though he knows Yesung doesn’t see his face now, the talking man still put a grateful smile on his now relieved face. After a while, Yesung lifts his head and as their gazes meet, Siwon, out of sudden, pulls Yesung into his arms and hugs the smaller man. Though feeling confused, Yesung just stays in Siwon’s arms. The petite man does not push Siwon nor hugs Siwon back. He just stands still.
Right when they feel each other’s heat, the longing feeling starts flooding their minds as if they have been separated for long time. Yesung can feel his rapid heartbeat while flash of images start filling Siwon’s mind, the images of someone who really looks like Yesung but wear clothes he never know. The images moves too fast and there are too many things to recognize, making Siwon’s head dizzy.
Siwon is the first who breaks the hug. The younger man holds his head and groans loudly as if something has just hit his head hardly. Yesung grabs Siwon’s shoulder instantly. Siwon is almost fall to the floor due to the instant and unbearable pain in his head, but luckilyYesung can hold Siwon’s body then he carefully leads Siwon to his room and sits the tall man on the edge of his bed. Yesung gets out of the room for a while then returns with a glass of water in his hand.
Yesung gives the water to Siwon which the man gladly takes. Siwon gives the already empty glass back to Yesung and murmuring thank you to the still standing man.
“I’m okay,” said Siwon realizing the worried look Yesung has. “Really,” Siwon tried to assure the man. Yesung lets out a relieved sigh then puts the glass on the small table next to the bed. Siwon pats the empty space next to him, asking the small man to sit beside him.
“Say, Yesung. Have we already met before this? I mean, before we met in your uncle’s restaurant,” asked Siwon when Yesung already sit beside him. Yesung knits his eyebrows and he looks at Siwon with a serious face, maybe trying to recall his memory. Siwon definitely sees how for a few seconds, the look on Yesung face is changed as if the said man remembers something, but then it soon changes into his usual calm look when Yesung shakes his head.
“Are you sure? Maybe we passed by somewhere in the past. Because somehow you look familiar to me,” asked Siwon again, but Yesung still gives the same answer. He shakes his head.
“Okay. Maybe I happened to meet someone looked like you. Or, maybe I’m just wrong.” Siwon finally gives up.
.
.
Siwon tries to run as fast as he can to a certain park that he has been visited frequently these last few days. There are so many things that Siwon cannot really understand lately, like why he keeps on having that weird dream, why he has indescribable interest to Yesung, or why he can’t stop visiting the said man in Shindong restaurant every evening and at that park near Shindong’s house every morning. Siwon doesn’t even care if he has to run quite far from his house just to meet Yesung in that park or he has to eat the very same menu every single night in Shindong’s restaurant. All he cares and all he wants is meeting Yesung.
“Hi,” said Siwon when he finally reaches the park with panting breath and sees Yesung sitting in his usual seat - the swing. Yesung looks at Siwon and smiles - a very beautiful smile in Siwon’s opinion. The small man takes out a bottle of milk from his bag and gives it to Siwon.
“Thanks,” uttered Siwon as he takes the empty swing next to Yesung’s. It’s been their daily routine these last few days. Siwon will meet Yesung at the park and the small man will give him a bottle of milk. After that Siwon will start talking about many stuffs, from his works to his scary high school teacher. While Yesung will listen to Siwon. He still does not say any words, but his expressions will change from time to time. Sometimes he puts his serious face, and some other time he laughs silently, making his already small eyes turn into crescent shape. Other people who see these two guys might not understand how can they communicate each other, but for them, it’s not about having conversations. For them, it’s as simple as enjoying each other presence.
-tbc-
it's supposed to be one shot, but, well, i can only manage writing this long so far... so, let's just make it as chaptered... kekekeke