Human After All
As I’ve done a handful of times before, I decided to intersperse lyrics throughout my musings. Every italicized line is from the song “Jetpack” by the Flobots. I tried to keep each line relevant in some way (and in order), but If the non-sequitor nature of their inclusion makes it difficult to follow, just remove or ignore them.
Sing out loud.
Perhaps I never blog anymore because I have become so accustomed to expressing myself in short bites of information that the concept of a longer form feels almost unnecessary. There is no introduction, there is little explanation (and rarely is it called for), only snippets of information with the hope of conversation attached.
It’s the same thing we all do, I think. Through our texts, our updates.
The vision of what’s involved.
I saw Inception tonight and…I needed to. I can’t stress enough how important that movie was for me right now.
The tensions you must resolve.
I needed inspiration. I needed consolation.
Distractions will just dissolve.
I needed to throw myself whole into an uncomfortable, impossible situation and struggle to reach the fractured invention I’ve attached to a memory.
He has encountered a setback.
And as I’ve wandered through this labyrinth of my dream, somewhere I can hear the dull hum of machinery behind it.
He isn’t down to let that keep him on the ground.
The steady wash of white noise swimming about in the back of my skull has been building up for some time now.
Press that button, ignite the Jetpack.
The mirrors of hundreds of nights spent with my introspectres are breaking, shards of glass filling the air like a razor sharp snowfall. There’s not a sound now, and in that chaotic dance of fractal imagery, I can see just a glimpse.
The atmospheres thinnin’ and his plasma’s tingly.
I've been holding these ideas, these threads that connect to futures I can't see.
He’s hearin’ the words that occur to him for no reason. “What are you living your life for? What are you willing to die for?”
And yet, I know what it is I want. I have for a long time.
Is it your plan to spend your days battered about by these random events?
For a select few of you, I will always be on hand. If that sounds like some old constant song, you aren’t hearing the melody of it. You’re not appreciating the gift behind those chords, the time I’ve slaved away on those notes. The music I weave is my own and I choose to share it. I won’t be taken for granted.
Whether the crowd gives boos or congratulations the blues are just somethin’ you move through.
I speak in a cryptic, broken, allegorical manner because there isn’t any way to explain myself logically or plainly. I want you to take this picture in your mind and just feel it. I’m exhausted. I can’t write an end to this, and moreso…there isn’t one. I do not announce this because I believe my absence will in some manner create a stir, indeed I doubt it should even be noticed. I say this for myself.
The heights you’ll reach, the depths you’ll delve to…
I am going deep inside my own head, and I can’t do that without solitude. I am going to disappear.
…depend on the propulsion systems that compel you.
I will still practice, every bit as committed to those elements you came to me for in the first place. The core remains, molten with all the passion I’ve ever possessed from the moment of my birth. Too dense and too hot to be pierced by anything on earth, it burns within and will never stop.
Will you abandon all your addictions?
I won’t lose myself, because I can’t be anything other than what I am. Who I am.
Take a stand and live your convictions?
And when you’re ready, I’ll play for you again.