Damned
I'm damned...I know it. So I'm having a "talk" with my mother because she wants to express her thoughts to me about how I've changed. How i've become mean and bitter and angry. How she hates my boyfriend and will never like him and will never want him around. She also wants to let me know that if I move back up North she won't call me either. Not like she ever did before, really.
My dad also hates him...for reasons I still can't get. My dad's not very clear. He only think I'm trying to sway his mind and decision. I'm not.
And me...well, I get to be the blacksheep of the family for being with some I love and who loves me and cares about me and wants to take care of me. Fairytales really are for suckers...no one likes him, I guess. I suppose that everyone only see what they saw the first time. No one can change in their eyes. Even though I've changed, I'm still slightly perfect to them (which is weird. How can anything be slightly perfect?) So...yeah...I'm screwed. I stay with them, I lose him. I stay with him...I lose them. Why does it have to be this way? It's not exactly like having one's cake and eating it too. They're my family. They're supposed to love my unconditionally, and ultimately accept--though not like--my decision because they want me to be happy. I'm taking a chance that this man will be my husband and life mate. However...I haven't had many great examples and they keep telling me I'm making such a grave mistake. And I'm not sure what to believe because I don't exactly have as much experience...but what else can I do?
I thought we were supposed to take chances and learn from mistakes when made. But if they won't let me take a chance...how will I ever know?
I don't know anymore. All I know is that I feel like I'm being pulled in two directions...and for once...I really don't know which one to choose...
My dad also hates him...for reasons I still can't get. My dad's not very clear. He only think I'm trying to sway his mind and decision. I'm not.
And me...well, I get to be the blacksheep of the family for being with some I love and who loves me and cares about me and wants to take care of me. Fairytales really are for suckers...no one likes him, I guess. I suppose that everyone only see what they saw the first time. No one can change in their eyes. Even though I've changed, I'm still slightly perfect to them (which is weird. How can anything be slightly perfect?) So...yeah...I'm screwed. I stay with them, I lose him. I stay with him...I lose them. Why does it have to be this way? It's not exactly like having one's cake and eating it too. They're my family. They're supposed to love my unconditionally, and ultimately accept--though not like--my decision because they want me to be happy. I'm taking a chance that this man will be my husband and life mate. However...I haven't had many great examples and they keep telling me I'm making such a grave mistake. And I'm not sure what to believe because I don't exactly have as much experience...but what else can I do?
I thought we were supposed to take chances and learn from mistakes when made. But if they won't let me take a chance...how will I ever know?
I don't know anymore. All I know is that I feel like I'm being pulled in two directions...and for once...I really don't know which one to choose...