(no subject)
I feel good.
And not in a superficial I'm really happy look at me happy, but the real kind of happy. I don't know how to explain but this is a weird feeling. I did break up with sebastian. And I feel i have truly made the right choice. I told him about how it's obvious he doesnt care for me anymore. and how i dont understand why he didnt tell me about his change of feelings. i dont know if i'll ever know. but i think im happy where i am right now. i dont know if the right guy will be there, but if he does come along, i hope that i dont disrespect myself like i did with this relationship. ive realized ive been so depressed and soaked up in my feelings that i havent been myself. and i just want to go back to being happy, and not caring. and most importantly, i just want to be loved and return that same feeling to someone else. i dont want to feel like im alone ever again.
ive realized the value in true friendship more than ever. the people who will stand there and go through the experience with you, rather than ditch you because you're too much to handle at the moment. and ive decided life's truly too short (not in a cliche way but really) and i need to make every moment count. and i think thats what truly just got me to break up with him. i didnt want to be miserable for one more second. i dont have to convince myself that he cares anymore. im happy. and i want to make more friends.
And not in a superficial I'm really happy look at me happy, but the real kind of happy. I don't know how to explain but this is a weird feeling. I did break up with sebastian. And I feel i have truly made the right choice. I told him about how it's obvious he doesnt care for me anymore. and how i dont understand why he didnt tell me about his change of feelings. i dont know if i'll ever know. but i think im happy where i am right now. i dont know if the right guy will be there, but if he does come along, i hope that i dont disrespect myself like i did with this relationship. ive realized ive been so depressed and soaked up in my feelings that i havent been myself. and i just want to go back to being happy, and not caring. and most importantly, i just want to be loved and return that same feeling to someone else. i dont want to feel like im alone ever again.
ive realized the value in true friendship more than ever. the people who will stand there and go through the experience with you, rather than ditch you because you're too much to handle at the moment. and ive decided life's truly too short (not in a cliche way but really) and i need to make every moment count. and i think thats what truly just got me to break up with him. i didnt want to be miserable for one more second. i dont have to convince myself that he cares anymore. im happy. and i want to make more friends.