It Took More Than a Confession
Title: It Took More Than a Confession
Author: chocolet89
Pairing: Yunho/Changmin
Rating: PG-13
Length: One-Shot
Genre: slight!Angst, Fluff, Romance
Summary: It takes moving out and living separately, with Yunho contacting Jaejoong again for Changmin to realize his feelings for the older man.
Original Prompt: Yunho is filming Yawang 24/7 while Changmin is undergoing intense preparation for his new variety show. Coupled with the fact that they're now living in separate apartments, Changmin misses his hyung more than he cares to admit. Yunho's absence has now alerted Changmin to certain feelings that he has always taken care to avoid before, going so far as to reject Yunho when the other tried to confess (romantically) years ago. On top of all that, Jaejoong and Yunho are renewing contact with each other (albeit somewhat warily) with the legal ceasefire. Will all these different factors and pressures finally drive Changmin out of denial and into Yunho's arms? Or has Yunho already moved on? And if so, is Changmin prepared to abandon his pride and take initiative in wooing his hyung back and making their friendship... something more?
A/N: Written for xuewentoh for the HoMin Fic Exchange 2013 ^^
Yunho hadn't called in three days.
Not that three days was a long time - but, considering that Yunho normally liked to contact him at least once a day to check up on him, this was quiet unusual.
Of course, it wasn't like Changmin had been counting the days in the first place since he'd last had any contact with Yunho. And besides, there were a lot of other things on his mind - such as studying scripts and organizing the final preparations for the variety show, Moonlight Prince in which he was going to MC in - to think about than to worry about whether or not Yunho had called him or not.
But still …
Changmin sighed.
Three days … three days since he'd heard Yunho's voice. He really didn't think he'd come to miss the older man's voice that much.
It really wouldn't have been that big of a deal if they were still living together. Because at least then he would be able to catch a glimpse of Yunho through half-lidded eyes as the older man came in to his room late at night to check that he was tucked properly in bed. Or if when Changmin happened to wake up earlier than Yunho in the mornings, he would find himself opening the door to Yunho's room to make sure the leader wasn't falling off the bed with his head precariously close to hitting the hardwood floor of their apartment.
His ex-apartment.
Changmin sighed again.
It'd been over three months now since they started living separately and he still wasn't completely used to the change.
Every day he would still wake up expecting to find a bathroom floor covered in water or toothpaste, or the living room messy with discarded clothes and socks all over the place. It was almost like he had to keep reminding himself daily that they didn't live together anymore.
He thought he would be happy with the change, happy to finally have a nice, tidy, clean apartment all to himself. But instead, all he could feel was a sense of regret from agreeing to Yunho's decision to finally be independent and move out.
'Live separately?'
'Yeah, I've given it some thought Changminnie. You were always hinting in front of our friends and on variety shows that we're both grown up men and that it's about time we lived separately?
'Oh … yeah.'
'Well now that we'll be in Korea for awhile, how about we give it a go? I've checked our schedules too. We're going to be given a short break from our TVXQ activities to focus instead on your upcoming participation in the new variety show and my role in a drama.'
'Oh, I see.'
'So … what do you think? Want to give it a go? You'll probably adjust to it just fine to have a place of your own. Then you won't have to nag about my bad habits everyday right?'
'Right, umm … sure okay. I guess … I should start looking for somewhere to move then huh.'
Changmin hadn't put up much of a fight, only agreeing to Yunho's words. After all, it's not like Yunho was expecting him to put up a fight about it right? And it was what he had always wanted right? He'd lost count of the number of times he had threatened to move out if Yunho didn't clean up after himself.
Now that he thought about it though, he wasn't really going to move out if Yunho happened to be totally forgetful and squeeze the toothpaste from the middle again. The worst he'd do would probably be to scold the older man playfully and mention the incident the next time they happened to be on a variety show together again. He only said he was going to move out because Yunho's reactions were always so … so adorable. He'd cling to Changmin like he was a lifeline and try to pout and look cute at the same time, and it would work. Changmin would forgive him, using the excuse that he was in a good mood and but that the next time Yunho did it, he wouldn't be so lucky.
It was the day of the filming for the first episode of Moonlight Prince (and the fifth day since Yunho hadn't called him) and Changmin was feeling surprisingly nervous. He thought he had everything under control. His palms were suddenly sweating and he could feel butterflies forming in the pit of his stomach.
There was another ten minutes until they would start the filming and Changmin was sitting in a chair in the dressing room while a stylist fussed over his hair and makeup for the umpteenth time.
His insides were still churning and ... and it was times like this that he really wished Yunho was here to say something stupid and make him roll his eyes to help break the tense atmosphere that he had created around himself.
He looked at his phone sitting on the table and sighed. Should he? What if Yunho was busy? Oh whatever he thought and leant forward, disturbing the stylist as he picked up his phone.
Mumbling a quick apology to the stylist, he then sent a quick text to Yunho that went something along the lines of, 'my outfit is so ugly it rivals that of the fur carpet suits we had to wear for KYHD.'
He wasn't really expecting a reply and so was slightly surprised to receive a text back almost immediately.
Yunho's response included a lot of hahaha's along with a 'can't wait to see it' - sarcasm intended. Another text followed seconds later saying, 'I'm sure you'll look good in it, you look good in everything you wear Changminnie :)'
That did it and in a second, Changmin was smiling with a roll of his eyes as he typed back a short response.
Max: Whatever, aren't you supposed to be filming right now? What are you doing on your phone?
U_Know: Of course we are still filming now. Except I'm on a break now. It's not my scene ^^v
Changmin grinned and they continued sending texts back and forth until a pd staff came into the room and announced that he was due on the set in two minutes. The stylist panicked and quickly grabbed the hairspray, drowning Changmin in it before ushering him out the door.
It took forever but finally the filming was over a few hours later and Changmin was free. He'd tried to call Yunho immediately once he was out of the studio but it just directed him immediately to voicemail. Not sure if maybe Yunho was busy or just happened to not hear it, he tried again but frowned when by the fifth try, he got the same response.
After not having any contact for five days straight, Changmin realized that he was starting to feel a bit empty. He wasn't used to not having Yunho around for more than one day - well except that time when he had to go to Japan by himself to film for the movie Fly with the Gold. Although they had exchanged text messages briefly moments before, it just wasn't the same as hearing Yunho's voice or being in his presence.
He considered going to visit Yunho at his filming location but then quickly scrapped the idea. It was Yunho's second appearance in a drama and Changmin really wanted him to do well in it. He didn't want to risk going there and ending up distracting Yunho on set.
So instead, deciding that the Kyu-line were due for another long awaited catch up, Changmin rounded up all the members to meet at Kyuhyun's dorm some time after 8pm (depending on when their schedules were finished for the day) since it was the closest place to go from where he was now at the studio - that and the fact that Kyuhyun probably had a stash of alcohol stored somewhere in his room.
By the end of the night, Changmin was sober enough to still stay awake and make sense of things somewhat, but not enough to walk a straight line by himself.
After downing a weird concoction that Kyuhyun had placed in front of him, Changmin smiled happily before resting his head on the armrest of the couch he was half-lying, half-sitting on.
'I think we should call it a night,' he vaguely heard Minho say from beside him while murmurs of agreement from Jonghyun and Kyuhyun sounded from floor.
'Mmm I want to go home,' he chipped in happily.
Kyuhyun looked at him and sighed exasperatedly. 'Guess we'll be taking you home tonight.'
'We?' Minho repeated.
'Well you don't expect him to make it back to his apartment safely by himself do you?' Kyuhyun asked with a raised brow.
Minho grudgingly agreed and so, fifteen minutes later, after bidding Jonghyun goodbye, he and Kyuhyun were hooking Changmin's arms around their shoulders as they hailed down a taxi. Minho entered first and then Kyuhyun shoved Changmin in before entering in last.
As Kyuhyun was about to tell the driver Changmin's address, Changmin opened his mouth and ratted off the address to his old - now currently Yunho's - apartment.
The two still coherent members of Kyu-line turned as one to look at Changmin.
"You do know you live separately now?" Kyuhyun whispered.
Changmin shook his head, a small pout appearing on his lips.
"It's where I live, we live together," he explained slowly as if talking to a child.
Minho shrugged his shoulders and just told the driver to take them to Yunho's address.
Forty-five minutes later found Minho and Kyuhyun hauling Changmin out of the taxi and through the building where his old apartment was.
'It's times like this I wish you weren't so tall,' Kyuhyun murmured as they dragged Changmin towards the elevators.
Changmin just giggled as he waited for the elevator light to flash, indicating their ride had arrived. For some reason he was really, really excited to see Yunho.
It didn't take long and soon the trio were riding up the elevator to the designated level.
When they finally arrived in front of the apartment, Kyuhyun pressed the doorbell while Minho bit his lip in mild concern at the sight of Changmin propped up against the wall and grinning with his eyes half closed.
The door opened seconds later to the surprised face of TVXQ's leader, Jung Yunho.
Ten minutes later, Yunho was hauling a still giggling Changmin to the bathroom after having bid Minho and Kyuhyun goodbye, reassuring them that it wasn't a problem and that he would take care of Changmin.
Luckily for the leader, although drunk, Changmin still had enough coherency to let him brush his teeth for him, occasionally helping out by making weird faces at the mirror.
Yunho had been tempted to just leave Changmin to pass out on the couch for laughs after the others had left, but he knew Changmin would never forgive himself if he didn't brush and floss his teeth the night before.
It took double the amount of time though because Changmin kept grabbing the floss from Yunho's hands and trying to do it on Yunho himself. Nevertheless, once they were finally done, Yunho pulled Changmin along with him, leading Changmin to the bedroom that was once his.
He half threw Changmin onto the bed before getting a pair of boxers and a t-shirt from his closet in his room. It took ten minutes, but after much struggling, Yunho managed to get Changmin out of his clothes that reeked of alcohol, and into the fresh clean clothes.
Settling Changmin down, Yunho pulled the covers up over the younger man before taking a seat next to him.
Changmin smiled happily up at him and Yunho couldn't help but return the smile as he reached out to caress the side of his face. It had been a long time since he'd seen Changmin so relaxed and free of any worries.
'I wonder what made you decide to get so drunk that you'd forget we live separately now,' Yunho spoke more to himself than to Changmin.
Changmin just grinned and nudged against Yunho's hand that was still on his cheek.
'Missed you,' he half mumbled.
Yunho froze in surprise at the words. Changmin had never said those words before, okay well maybe once a long time ago, but definitely not recently.
'I missed you too,' he replied genuinely but he wasn't sure if Changmin was paying any attention as the latter didn't give any indication he had heard.
Glancing at his watch, Yunho decided he should call it a night. It would be another early start tomorrow and he'd be lucky to get more than five hours worth of sleep in.
Ruffling Changmin's hair, Yunho smiled down at the younger man.
'Go to sleep now Changmin-ah, don't think too much okay,' he whispered.
Changmin pouted as Yunho removed his hand and got ready to stand up.
'Where are you going?' he asked.
'To my room of course.'
Changmin seemed to frown at that.
Patting the space beside him, Changmin said, 'Sleep here.'
Yunho's brows shot up in amusement.
'We haven't slept in the same bed for years. I clearly remember you kicking me out when you turned twenty-one and declared you weren't a child anymore.'
'Don't care, sleep here.'
It was tempting … very tempting. Yunho debated what the worse would be.
Probably just a slap to the head if Changmin miraculously woke up before him tomorrow.
With a grin, Yunho agreed and went to turn all the lights off in the apartment before climbing in to bed next to Changmin.
Changmin hummed happily as he snuggled up next to the older man. Yunho's body tensed at first but then gradually relaxed as he bathed in the warmth that was Changmin lying beside him.
'You are so going to regret this tomorrow,' Yunho said with a chuckle as he switched off the bedside light.
'M'tired, don't care,' Changmin mumbled.
Yunho sighed as he turned on his side and gathered Changmin up in his arms. May as well make the most of it. After tonight, there probably wouldn't come another chance like this again to be this close to Changmin.
A bitter smile crossed his face before Yunho shut his eyes and pulled Changmin closer.
Changmin's first thought when he woke up was that something wasn't right. He felt warm, and safe - which was good - but something just seemed out of place.
Opening his eyes slowly, Changmin waited until his vision cleared before looking at his surroundings.
It looked a lot like his old room in his old apartment that Yunho was now living in alone.
Closing his eyes, he slowly tried to remember what happened last night.
He'd been drinking with Kyu-line last night to celebrate the success of the filming for Moonlight Prince … and because he couldn't get a hold of Yunho. Then what had happened? He'd gotten slightly tipsy and remembered leaning on Minho and Kyuhyun for support as they made their way out of Kyuhyun's dorm.
And then ... and then they'd hauled down a taxi and clambered in, or in Changmin's case, fell in. And then ... he'd given Yunho's address to the driver for their destination.
Shit.
Then what? He remembered vaguely leaning against the cool wall of the elevator and then again on the wall next to the door. He remembered Yunho's face as the door opened, remembered Yunho brushing his teeth and changing his clothes for him before putting him to bed. And then asking Yunho to sleep with him.
Double shit.
Changmin bolted upright as the memories all came back to him crystal clear, and then regretted it immediately as he clutched his head between his hands as the effects of a hangover decided now would be a good time to make their appearance.
When the pain had subsided, he opened his eyes again to glance around.
The bed was empty save himself, but there was still a slight dint in the pillow beside his own indicating that indeed another person had been in bed with him throughout the night. A piece of paper on the bedside table caught his attention, with a packet of painkillers and glass of water on top of it.
Downing the painkillers gratefully, Changmin gave himself a few minutes before picking up the piece of paper to read.
Changmin,
Hey, I don't know if you remember or not, but Minho and Kyuhyun dropped you off here because you'd given the taxi driver my address. You must have been pretty drunk to have forgotten you don't live here anymore. Anyway, yes I did sleep in the same bed as you but only because you were adamant about it so don't kill me after this :) I have to be at the filming location for my drama at seven so hope you don't mind that I left early. There's some leftover food in the fridge if you want it before you head out. Call me for anything.
Yunho.
Changmin chuckled lightly to himself. Oh he remembered all right.
Giving himself another few minutes to fully wake up, Changmin then slowly got out of bed and made his way to the bathroom.
He glanced down at the floor first out of habit and was surprised to see it spotless, free of the usual splashes of water, toothpaste and occasional towel in the corner from where Yunho would usually fling it after drying his body from a shower.
On one side of the sink, he noticed Yunho's toothbrush lying neatly next to an upturned glass and a tube of toothpaste that had clearly been squeezed from the bottom. On the other side, was another toothbrush that he remembered Yunho using to brush his teeth with last night and a sticky note with a smiley face on it.
It was a rare sight to see everything so perfect and tidy that Changmin couldn't help but smile.
As he brushed his teeth, he tried to ignore the slight ache in his chest.
Since he had the rest of the day free, Changmin decided to stay just a little bit longer around the apartment. After heating up the leftovers Yunho had left for him, he plopped down on the couch and settled down to watch some TV.
After awhile, Changmin couldn't help but feel that something was wrong. Glancing around for a bit, Changmin finally realized what it was.
The living room was spotless … clean … tidy … just like the bathroom.
There were no shoes on the floor, no socks slipped in between the sofa cushions, and no magazines and newspapers piled messily on the coffee table. Everything was completely spotless.
It should have been a good thing that Yunho had finally learned to clean up after himself, Changmin thought to himself. But he couldn't help but think that he missed his hyung being the messy person he was before. It just didn't feel right to have Yunho actually tidying up after himself.
Being back in his old apartment felt good, but it just wasn't the same.
He was half tempted to go grab his shoes and toss them onto the floor just because he could.
It was late in the afternoon when he received the phone call. He was lying in his old bed going through random memories of when he would have to constantly tell Yunho off for his messiness when his phone rang.
An unknown number flashed across the screen and Changmin's thumb hovered over the answer button as he contemplated who it could be. The last time he had answered a call from a private number, it had been a saseng fan who had somehow gotten hold of his number. As soon as he had answered, the call had cut off and it hadn't rung again.
For weeks after, a mysterious audio of his voice saying 'hello?' had made its way around the internet. It even became Yunho's ringtone at one point (the word repeating itself until Yunho answered the phone), which had been quite amusing at first but then gradually annoying as Changmin was forced to hear himself say 'hello' more than fifty times a day. And nope, it definitely didn't have to do with the fact that Yunho could never seem to find his phone whenever it started ringing.
Deciding that it couldn't get worse than the last time, Changmin answered it.
'Hello?'
'Hello? Changmin is that you?'
The phone fell to the bed soundlessly as Changmin's body froze in shock.
When he finally got over the surprise, he quickly put the phone back against his ear.
'H-hyung?'
'Hey … it's me. Long time no talk Changmin-ah.'
'J-Jaejoong hyung.'
Well this was certainly a surprise to say the least.
It had been an extremely awkward moment in the first five minutes of the call where Changmin had no idea what to say and it didn't help that his brain was flashing all the what, why and how questions at him.
They had been giving some brief updates on their lives when things started to go downhill.
'What? You're living separately now? Since when? Why are you two living separately now? I always thought Yunho didn't want to live alone.'
That's what I thought too Changmin had thought inwardly.
'He said something about how we should both start living separately and be more independent.'
'Really? That's the reason? Yunho doesn't sound like the type of person who would say something like that.'
'Yeah I know right. Well that's what he said so I'm just repeating what he said.'
'Wow, well I'm surprised he didn't tell me this when I met up with him last week.'
'Met up with him … last week?'
'Yeah, wait didn't Yunho tell you? I contacted him a few weeks ago and we'd finally managed to organize a time and place to meet up last week. He said he had tried to get you to come along but you had declined because you were busy with your new variety show. Anyway, it took me awhile to get your number because Yunho wouldn't give it to me over the phone and so I had to get it the hard way.'
Yunho hadn't told him anything. Nothing at all.
'Umm oh yeah … I think he did mention it to me before but I was just really busy. Sorry hyung.'
'It's okay. But still, I can't believe he didn't tell me you guys are living separately now. I guess he must really be busy with filming for his drama to have forgotten to mention it to me.'
They made more small talk but Changmin's mind was half preoccupied with thoughts of why Yunho didn't tell him he'd been in contact with Jaejoong again.
'Anyway I have to go now Changminnie, I have to meet up with my manager soon. It's nice to finally hear your voice again and I'm sorry it's taken this long for me to contact you. I … I've missed you Changmin-ah.'
'I've missed you too hyung. We should catch up soon.'
They exchanged a few promises of meeting up soon before hanging up. When the call ended, Changmin dropped the phone and buried his face in his hands.
When Yunho finally arrived back at his apartment well after midnight, he found Changmin sitting on the couch staring blankly at the wall in front of him.
'Changmin? You're still here? Is everything okay?' he asked as he came around to take a seat next to the younger man.
Changmin was silent as he dropped his gaze to the floor.
'So when were you planning on telling me about meeting up with Jaejoong hyung?'
Yunho tensed beside him and Changmin waited patiently for a response.
'How did you know?'
Changmin scoffed.
'He called me this afternoon saying it was a shame I couldn't make it last week.'
'Changmin-ah,' Yunho started slowly.
'Don't Changmin-ah me hyung. I think you owe me an explanation,' Changmin grit out as he looked straight into Yunho's eyes.
Yunho turned away and this time it was his turn to look down at the floor of the living room.
'I didn't tell you because … I wasn't sure if you would be ready for it yet.'
'Ready for what?'
'For a reunion … to see Jaejoong again … or the others as a matter of fact.'
'What do you mean you're not sure if I would be ready for it yet? It's been three years now hyung, three years since the lawsuit. I think that's a long enough time to wait for a bloody reunion don't you think?'
'I don't mean it that way-'
'Then what way do you mean?'
'I mean this,' Yunho exaggerated by waving his arms.
'This?' Changmin repeated confused.
'Yes this. We're only mentioning them now and already you're so angry.'
'I'm only angry because you decided not to tell me about Jaejoong hyung calling you and then I had to find out the stupid way by being clueless to everything he was saying.'
'But if I had told you the truth from the start, would you have willingly come along with me to see Jaejoong?'
Changmin pondered this question carefully. He didn't want to admit it, but he most probably wouldn't have.
'No, I probably wouldn't have.'
'Exactly.'
'But you could have still told me that he'd called you.'
Here, Yunho looked slightly guilty.
'I should've and I'm sorry I didn't. I just wanted to wait for the right moment. You seemed so busy recently with preparing for your variety show that I didn't want to add something on to your mind and have you stress out over it. I was going to wait until maybe everything had settled down for you before telling you.'
It made sense, and Changmin was internally happy that Yunho had given this matter so much thought, just for him.
'I … I see.'
But … there was something else that was bugging him though. There was another reason that Yunho might have wanted to meet with Jaejoong without telling Changmin.
'You're not angry at me are you?' Yunho asked worriedly.
Changmin turned to look at him and was about to reassure the leader that he wasn't when he caught sight of something dangling on Yunho's phone on the coffee table.
It was a phone accessory of a red elephant with half a heart attached to it.
Half a heart normally meant it was a couple item … and a red elephant could have been a gift from no one other than Jaejoong. Could it be …
Abruptly Changmin stood up from his spot, his thoughts suddenly whirling around his mind at all the implications.
'Changmin?'
'I have to go now,' Changmin stated as calmly as he could.
He didn't wait for a response as he made his way towards the door. He heard Yunho follow behind him but the ache in his chest was increasing and he just knew he needed to get out, now.
'Changmin, are you angry at me? I'm really sorry I didn't tell you about meeting up with Jaejoongie,' he vaguely heard Yunho say as he slipped his shoes on.
'Of course I'm not angry at you hyung.' He tried to say it like he meant it, really he did. But for some reason it came out flat and monotonous as he reached out to open the door.
'Chang-'
'I have to go now hyung, it's getting late and you're probably tired. I'll talk to you later.'
He managed a twitch of his lips in what he hoped was a smile before shutting the door behind him.
The following day, Changmin was determined to stay in bed and sleep. When that didn't work, he got up and went into the kitchen to cook up a feast for himself. He then sat in front of the couch and binged on his kimbap whilst casually casting sidelong glances at his phone, never mind the fact that Yunho was probably already at the set filming for his drama.
The day passed slowly and finally when Changmin was halfway through his tub of ice cream, did he let his mind wander and delve into those thoughts he'd kept hidden away for the past three years.
A few years ago - three to be exact - something had happened between the leader and the maknae of TVXQ causing things to be slightly awkward between them for quite a few months.
It occurred right around the time three members of TVXQ had filed for a lawsuit against their agency SM Entertainment.
Yunho had confessed to Changmin.
At the time, Changmin had just come into puberty, taking that step from leaving the days of his teenage life behind and entering the world as an adult. Everything was a bit of a jumble for him, and coupled with the lawsuit, Changmin's mind really wasn't ready to handle a confession from a man he had previously only admired as his idol.
The rejection had been harsh, for both of them, and Changmin remembered not having talked to Yunho for a whole two weeks. It had been the most painful two weeks of his life and when he finally decided he couldn't handle it anymore and gave Yunho a hug on one quiet Sunday morning in the middle of the kitchen, Changmin vowed he would never put them through this pain again.
Unbidden tears came to his eyes as Changmin relieved the painful memories from all those years ago. He suddenly felt very, very tired.
Changmin intended only to shut his eyes for a few minutes to recollect his thoughts, but eventually he fell asleep curled up on the couch.
It was a few hours later when Changmin awoke to a caress on the side of his face.
'Wha-'
Changmin opened his eyes groggily and came face to face with Yunho.
'Hyung,' his mind supplied for him and he nodded sleepily, about to close his eyes again when he realized that Yunho was in his apartment and touching his face.
Changmin sat bolt upright, dislodging Yunho's hand at the same time.
'What are you doing here?'
It hadn't meant to come out as harsh as it sounded and Yunho flinched at the tone.
'I tried calling you but it kept sending me to voicemail so I thought I'd come over.'
Changmin whipped his head around to glance at his phone. Picking it up he jabbed at it a few times before throwing it to the side.
'Battery's dead,' he offered as a means of explanation.
Yunho nodded his head and took a seat beside him.
'We need to talk.'
Changmin swallowed and looked away.
'About what?'
'About yesterday. You left so sudden Changmin-ah.'
Changmin sat quietly, not really know what to say.
'I'm really sorry for not telling you about Jaejoong,' Yunho started.
At the name of the man, Changmin's fists clenched as he swallowed a lump in his throat.
'It's okay hyung,' Changmin forced himself to say.
'No it's not,' Yunho countered in a harsh voice.
Changmin tensed and looked up in surprise.
'It's not okay,' Yunho repeated, this time a lot softer. 'I shouldn't have hidden it from you, I thought I was doing it for your own good, but I just made things worse. Who am I to make decisions for you?'
Changmin let out a small smile at the last bit.
'You're the leader, of course you make the decisions.'
Yunho turned to look at him with a frown.
'But not about personal matters.'
Changmin sighed as he leant back into the couch.
'Hyung, it's fine. I'm really not angry at you for not telling me. You did what you did only because you thought it would be good for me, and that's fine.'
'Then yesterday, why did you …' Yunho trailed off, not knowing how to word it without making Changmin angry again.
Changmin didn't reply and instead let his gaze wander towards the coffee table where Yunho had placed his wallet, keys … and phone. He stared at the phone accessory of the red elephant and winced as his heart clenched in pain again.
'That phone accessory,' he whispered quietly indicating to it with a hand.
'This one?' Yunho asked, picking his phone up.
'Yeah, that one. Where did you get it?'
Yunho smiled as he dangled it in front of Changmin's face.
'I got it from Jaejoong. He gave it to me last week when we met up.'
Changmin clenched his fists again as any hope of it not being from Jaejoong were crushed.
'Oh,' he said softly.
'Changmin?'
'Hmm?'
'What's wrong?'
'Nothing's wrong.'
'Don't lie to me. Something was obviously bothering you yesterday when you left, just like how it is now.'
It was times like this that Changmin wished Yunho wasn't so perceptive of his feelings.
'I don't know, I really don't know,' he replied as he buried his face in his hands.
He felt Yunho shuffle closer to him on the couch and then a pair of hands were tugging his own away from his face and he found himself gazing into Yunho's eyes that were filled with concern.
'Changminnie, we've know each other for over ten years now, you know you can tell me anything right?'
Changmin nodded his head while dropping his gaze. He tried to rearrange his thoughts, line them up in order so he could let it all out to Yunho without confusing the older man. But it was too much and everything just came out in a jumble.
'I feel like we're hardly spending any time together these days because you're so busy filming for your drama and I'm always busy preparing for my variety show. I miss you hyung. I miss us living together. I miss having to scold you because you throw your belongings all over the living room, like that one time I found a pair of your socks under the coffee table. I miss walking into my bedroom and seeing my drawers in a mess because you'd claimed I'd stolen your clothes and were looking for them, when really they were just buried under a pile of junk in your corner so deep it took you weeks to clean.'
Yunho looked at him in surprise but Changmin didn't give him time to ask any questions and just continued on.
'I was feeling really down up until yesterday because we hadn't talked for five days. It's really not that long a time at all, but I guess I'm just so used to talking to you every day that it feels weird when I don't.
'Maybe I really can't do this independent thing. Maybe I wasn't as strong as I thought I was. Maybe it really is impossible to forget about the past.'
'Changmin?' Yunho whispered softly, not really sure where they were heading with this.
'I thought that regardless if we never spoke of it again, you would still stay by my side no matter what happened. I guess I just took it all for granted huh, and now I'm too late.'
'Changmin, what are you talking about?' Yunho asked confused.
'You're together now aren't you? There was another reason why you didn't want me to go out and meet Jaejoong hyung with you right? I'm not stupid hyung,' Changmin said with a scoff towards the end.
Yunho frowned as his mind tried to process everything that Changmin had just thrown at him.
'Wait … you think … that Jaejoong and I are together? As in a couple?'
Changmin nodded like it was the most obvious answer.
Yunho grinned.
'You idiot, how did you even come to that conclusion? Of course we're not together, silly.'
Now it was Changmin's turn to frown.
'You're not? But the phone accessory …'
Yunho rolled his eyes.
'Yes, Jaejoong gave me the phone accessory, I told you that yesterday. But he doesn't have the other half, I do. Jaejoong gave me the set and told me to give the other half to the person I loved when the time was right.'
'Oh … is that so …'
Yunho chuckled and tightened his grip on Changmin's hands.
'Yes, now will you tell me the whole story? What's this about me staying by your side and you taking it for granted and being too late? Too late for what?'
Changmin bit his lip as he wished fervently to take back everything he had said in the last five minutes. He had just given himself away to the man sitting beside him, and for the stupidest reason to boot.
'Umm …'
'Are you trying to tell me that for the past three years, someone has been harbouring a tiny crush on their leader but was too afraid to admit it?'
Changmin could feel his face flush in embarrassment as he wondered just what he should do right now.
He could balk and just tell Yunho to ignore everything he'd just said and pray that they could go back to their normal lives like before, or he could just bite the bullet and go for it.
Oh to hell with it he thought to himself.
'Will you still accept me now?' he whispered quietly.
Yunho's jaw dropped open in surprise at the blatant confession that was also a question. Out of all the scenarios that Yunho had conjured up in his dreams, this definitely wasn't one of them - at least, he didn't think Changmin would be the one to ask this question.
When Yunho failed to answer in the next five seconds, Changmin bit his lip with worry.
'I didn't mean to reject you all those years ago. I just … well I've said it before, you just confessed at a really bad time. The others had just filed the lawsuit and I was just trying to adjust to stepping into the life of an adult. My emotions were all a mess, I wasn't sure what my feelings for you back then were. Did I also return your feelings back then or were they more towards a brotherly or idolizing feel? I just really wasn't prepared for a confession back then. I really didn't mean to reject you.'
'And now?' Yunho ventured quietly.
'Now … I realize that my feelings for you were the same, and they still are. I was just too young back then to have realized what they were.'
'I see.'
'So …'
'Hmm?'
'Will you still accept me now?' Changmin repeated quietly.
Yunho smiled and then leant in close to place a kiss to the tip of Changmin's nose.
'Idiot,' he said affectionately. 'Of course I'll still accept you. I've been waiting for you to say yes all these years.'
Changmin's cheeks flushed red at the action and words.
'R-really?'
Yunho nodded his head.
'Then why did you make me move away?' Changmin asked, a small pout forming on his lips.
'Because it was starting to hurt, seeing you so close but knowing that you might never return my feelings. At first I thought it was great because I could have you by my side even if you weren't necessarily mine. But lately it's just really started to hurt and so I thought that maybe if we lived apart, the pain would slowly go away.'
'And did it?'
Yunho smiled bitterly.
'No, it didn't. It started to hurt even more. I was tempted to just ask you to move back in with me but I told myself no. I needed to start living by myself and be independent.'
'I'm sorry I caused you so much pain.'
'What are you sorry for? It's not your fault silly,' Yunho said with a chuckle.
Changmin still felt guilty though and wouldn't meet Yunho's gaze, instead turning his body away from the leader.
Deciding that this needed to be changed, Yunho grabbed Changmin by the hips and, with strength he reserved for doing crazy things on variety shows (such as doing squats with Changmin in his arms), hauled Changmin across the couch and directly onto his lap.
Changmin yelped as he found himself sprawled on the leader's lap, legs on either side and arms wrapped around the older man's neck for balance.
'There, much better,' Yunho said with a grin.
Changmin bit his lip and looked away in embarrassment.
'So …' he started awkwardly.
'So …'
'I don't suppose I can move back in together with you now?'
'Probably not right now unless you want to make everyone curious as to why you moved out and then back in three months later.'
'Yeah … not really.'
Changmin was genuinely unhappy about this and he showed it with a pout that could rival Yunho's when the latter was in one of those childish unhappy moods because the stylist would pay more attention to Changmin (on purpose) than to him when they'd get their hair and makeup done prior to a performance.
'Aww … it's okay, you can come visit me anytime and we could do sleepovers where I ask you to sleep with me at night so I can tell you ghost stories and have you cuddle up against me afterwards when we go to sleep,' Yunho said with a chuckle.
Changmin snorted and whacked Yunho lightly on the shoulder.
'Idiot,' he muttered affectionately.
'You don't like my idea of a sleepover?' Yunho asked in mock seriousness.
Changmin grinned.
'I love it, but instead of going over to your place tonight, how about you stay the night here instead?'
Yunho tightened his hold around Changmin's waist and pulled him closer.
'Sounds like a fantastic idea.'
♥
A/N: To xuewentoh I hope this was what you wanted and that you like it >__< I tried my best to include everything from your prompt :3
tbh I don't think I've written fics like this before where it's a band!fic but with a lot of uhh conflicts? I had planned to make the fic more angsty but in the end I just couldn't do it LOL hope it's not too fluffy for you and that the length of it is okay~
Again I hope you like this and I'm sorry I'm a few days late ;n; ~♥
Author: chocolet89
Pairing: Yunho/Changmin
Rating: PG-13
Length: One-Shot
Genre: slight!Angst, Fluff, Romance
Summary: It takes moving out and living separately, with Yunho contacting Jaejoong again for Changmin to realize his feelings for the older man.
Original Prompt: Yunho is filming Yawang 24/7 while Changmin is undergoing intense preparation for his new variety show. Coupled with the fact that they're now living in separate apartments, Changmin misses his hyung more than he cares to admit. Yunho's absence has now alerted Changmin to certain feelings that he has always taken care to avoid before, going so far as to reject Yunho when the other tried to confess (romantically) years ago. On top of all that, Jaejoong and Yunho are renewing contact with each other (albeit somewhat warily) with the legal ceasefire. Will all these different factors and pressures finally drive Changmin out of denial and into Yunho's arms? Or has Yunho already moved on? And if so, is Changmin prepared to abandon his pride and take initiative in wooing his hyung back and making their friendship... something more?
A/N: Written for xuewentoh for the HoMin Fic Exchange 2013 ^^
Yunho hadn't called in three days.
Not that three days was a long time - but, considering that Yunho normally liked to contact him at least once a day to check up on him, this was quiet unusual.
Of course, it wasn't like Changmin had been counting the days in the first place since he'd last had any contact with Yunho. And besides, there were a lot of other things on his mind - such as studying scripts and organizing the final preparations for the variety show, Moonlight Prince in which he was going to MC in - to think about than to worry about whether or not Yunho had called him or not.
But still …
Changmin sighed.
Three days … three days since he'd heard Yunho's voice. He really didn't think he'd come to miss the older man's voice that much.
It really wouldn't have been that big of a deal if they were still living together. Because at least then he would be able to catch a glimpse of Yunho through half-lidded eyes as the older man came in to his room late at night to check that he was tucked properly in bed. Or if when Changmin happened to wake up earlier than Yunho in the mornings, he would find himself opening the door to Yunho's room to make sure the leader wasn't falling off the bed with his head precariously close to hitting the hardwood floor of their apartment.
His ex-apartment.
Changmin sighed again.
It'd been over three months now since they started living separately and he still wasn't completely used to the change.
Every day he would still wake up expecting to find a bathroom floor covered in water or toothpaste, or the living room messy with discarded clothes and socks all over the place. It was almost like he had to keep reminding himself daily that they didn't live together anymore.
He thought he would be happy with the change, happy to finally have a nice, tidy, clean apartment all to himself. But instead, all he could feel was a sense of regret from agreeing to Yunho's decision to finally be independent and move out.
'Live separately?'
'Yeah, I've given it some thought Changminnie. You were always hinting in front of our friends and on variety shows that we're both grown up men and that it's about time we lived separately?
'Oh … yeah.'
'Well now that we'll be in Korea for awhile, how about we give it a go? I've checked our schedules too. We're going to be given a short break from our TVXQ activities to focus instead on your upcoming participation in the new variety show and my role in a drama.'
'Oh, I see.'
'So … what do you think? Want to give it a go? You'll probably adjust to it just fine to have a place of your own. Then you won't have to nag about my bad habits everyday right?'
'Right, umm … sure okay. I guess … I should start looking for somewhere to move then huh.'
Changmin hadn't put up much of a fight, only agreeing to Yunho's words. After all, it's not like Yunho was expecting him to put up a fight about it right? And it was what he had always wanted right? He'd lost count of the number of times he had threatened to move out if Yunho didn't clean up after himself.
Now that he thought about it though, he wasn't really going to move out if Yunho happened to be totally forgetful and squeeze the toothpaste from the middle again. The worst he'd do would probably be to scold the older man playfully and mention the incident the next time they happened to be on a variety show together again. He only said he was going to move out because Yunho's reactions were always so … so adorable. He'd cling to Changmin like he was a lifeline and try to pout and look cute at the same time, and it would work. Changmin would forgive him, using the excuse that he was in a good mood and but that the next time Yunho did it, he wouldn't be so lucky.
It was the day of the filming for the first episode of Moonlight Prince (and the fifth day since Yunho hadn't called him) and Changmin was feeling surprisingly nervous. He thought he had everything under control. His palms were suddenly sweating and he could feel butterflies forming in the pit of his stomach.
There was another ten minutes until they would start the filming and Changmin was sitting in a chair in the dressing room while a stylist fussed over his hair and makeup for the umpteenth time.
His insides were still churning and ... and it was times like this that he really wished Yunho was here to say something stupid and make him roll his eyes to help break the tense atmosphere that he had created around himself.
He looked at his phone sitting on the table and sighed. Should he? What if Yunho was busy? Oh whatever he thought and leant forward, disturbing the stylist as he picked up his phone.
Mumbling a quick apology to the stylist, he then sent a quick text to Yunho that went something along the lines of, 'my outfit is so ugly it rivals that of the fur carpet suits we had to wear for KYHD.'
He wasn't really expecting a reply and so was slightly surprised to receive a text back almost immediately.
Yunho's response included a lot of hahaha's along with a 'can't wait to see it' - sarcasm intended. Another text followed seconds later saying, 'I'm sure you'll look good in it, you look good in everything you wear Changminnie :)'
That did it and in a second, Changmin was smiling with a roll of his eyes as he typed back a short response.
Max: Whatever, aren't you supposed to be filming right now? What are you doing on your phone?
U_Know: Of course we are still filming now. Except I'm on a break now. It's not my scene ^^v
Changmin grinned and they continued sending texts back and forth until a pd staff came into the room and announced that he was due on the set in two minutes. The stylist panicked and quickly grabbed the hairspray, drowning Changmin in it before ushering him out the door.
It took forever but finally the filming was over a few hours later and Changmin was free. He'd tried to call Yunho immediately once he was out of the studio but it just directed him immediately to voicemail. Not sure if maybe Yunho was busy or just happened to not hear it, he tried again but frowned when by the fifth try, he got the same response.
After not having any contact for five days straight, Changmin realized that he was starting to feel a bit empty. He wasn't used to not having Yunho around for more than one day - well except that time when he had to go to Japan by himself to film for the movie Fly with the Gold. Although they had exchanged text messages briefly moments before, it just wasn't the same as hearing Yunho's voice or being in his presence.
He considered going to visit Yunho at his filming location but then quickly scrapped the idea. It was Yunho's second appearance in a drama and Changmin really wanted him to do well in it. He didn't want to risk going there and ending up distracting Yunho on set.
So instead, deciding that the Kyu-line were due for another long awaited catch up, Changmin rounded up all the members to meet at Kyuhyun's dorm some time after 8pm (depending on when their schedules were finished for the day) since it was the closest place to go from where he was now at the studio - that and the fact that Kyuhyun probably had a stash of alcohol stored somewhere in his room.
By the end of the night, Changmin was sober enough to still stay awake and make sense of things somewhat, but not enough to walk a straight line by himself.
After downing a weird concoction that Kyuhyun had placed in front of him, Changmin smiled happily before resting his head on the armrest of the couch he was half-lying, half-sitting on.
'I think we should call it a night,' he vaguely heard Minho say from beside him while murmurs of agreement from Jonghyun and Kyuhyun sounded from floor.
'Mmm I want to go home,' he chipped in happily.
Kyuhyun looked at him and sighed exasperatedly. 'Guess we'll be taking you home tonight.'
'We?' Minho repeated.
'Well you don't expect him to make it back to his apartment safely by himself do you?' Kyuhyun asked with a raised brow.
Minho grudgingly agreed and so, fifteen minutes later, after bidding Jonghyun goodbye, he and Kyuhyun were hooking Changmin's arms around their shoulders as they hailed down a taxi. Minho entered first and then Kyuhyun shoved Changmin in before entering in last.
As Kyuhyun was about to tell the driver Changmin's address, Changmin opened his mouth and ratted off the address to his old - now currently Yunho's - apartment.
The two still coherent members of Kyu-line turned as one to look at Changmin.
"You do know you live separately now?" Kyuhyun whispered.
Changmin shook his head, a small pout appearing on his lips.
"It's where I live, we live together," he explained slowly as if talking to a child.
Minho shrugged his shoulders and just told the driver to take them to Yunho's address.
Forty-five minutes later found Minho and Kyuhyun hauling Changmin out of the taxi and through the building where his old apartment was.
'It's times like this I wish you weren't so tall,' Kyuhyun murmured as they dragged Changmin towards the elevators.
Changmin just giggled as he waited for the elevator light to flash, indicating their ride had arrived. For some reason he was really, really excited to see Yunho.
It didn't take long and soon the trio were riding up the elevator to the designated level.
When they finally arrived in front of the apartment, Kyuhyun pressed the doorbell while Minho bit his lip in mild concern at the sight of Changmin propped up against the wall and grinning with his eyes half closed.
The door opened seconds later to the surprised face of TVXQ's leader, Jung Yunho.
Ten minutes later, Yunho was hauling a still giggling Changmin to the bathroom after having bid Minho and Kyuhyun goodbye, reassuring them that it wasn't a problem and that he would take care of Changmin.
Luckily for the leader, although drunk, Changmin still had enough coherency to let him brush his teeth for him, occasionally helping out by making weird faces at the mirror.
Yunho had been tempted to just leave Changmin to pass out on the couch for laughs after the others had left, but he knew Changmin would never forgive himself if he didn't brush and floss his teeth the night before.
It took double the amount of time though because Changmin kept grabbing the floss from Yunho's hands and trying to do it on Yunho himself. Nevertheless, once they were finally done, Yunho pulled Changmin along with him, leading Changmin to the bedroom that was once his.
He half threw Changmin onto the bed before getting a pair of boxers and a t-shirt from his closet in his room. It took ten minutes, but after much struggling, Yunho managed to get Changmin out of his clothes that reeked of alcohol, and into the fresh clean clothes.
Settling Changmin down, Yunho pulled the covers up over the younger man before taking a seat next to him.
Changmin smiled happily up at him and Yunho couldn't help but return the smile as he reached out to caress the side of his face. It had been a long time since he'd seen Changmin so relaxed and free of any worries.
'I wonder what made you decide to get so drunk that you'd forget we live separately now,' Yunho spoke more to himself than to Changmin.
Changmin just grinned and nudged against Yunho's hand that was still on his cheek.
'Missed you,' he half mumbled.
Yunho froze in surprise at the words. Changmin had never said those words before, okay well maybe once a long time ago, but definitely not recently.
'I missed you too,' he replied genuinely but he wasn't sure if Changmin was paying any attention as the latter didn't give any indication he had heard.
Glancing at his watch, Yunho decided he should call it a night. It would be another early start tomorrow and he'd be lucky to get more than five hours worth of sleep in.
Ruffling Changmin's hair, Yunho smiled down at the younger man.
'Go to sleep now Changmin-ah, don't think too much okay,' he whispered.
Changmin pouted as Yunho removed his hand and got ready to stand up.
'Where are you going?' he asked.
'To my room of course.'
Changmin seemed to frown at that.
Patting the space beside him, Changmin said, 'Sleep here.'
Yunho's brows shot up in amusement.
'We haven't slept in the same bed for years. I clearly remember you kicking me out when you turned twenty-one and declared you weren't a child anymore.'
'Don't care, sleep here.'
It was tempting … very tempting. Yunho debated what the worse would be.
Probably just a slap to the head if Changmin miraculously woke up before him tomorrow.
With a grin, Yunho agreed and went to turn all the lights off in the apartment before climbing in to bed next to Changmin.
Changmin hummed happily as he snuggled up next to the older man. Yunho's body tensed at first but then gradually relaxed as he bathed in the warmth that was Changmin lying beside him.
'You are so going to regret this tomorrow,' Yunho said with a chuckle as he switched off the bedside light.
'M'tired, don't care,' Changmin mumbled.
Yunho sighed as he turned on his side and gathered Changmin up in his arms. May as well make the most of it. After tonight, there probably wouldn't come another chance like this again to be this close to Changmin.
A bitter smile crossed his face before Yunho shut his eyes and pulled Changmin closer.
Changmin's first thought when he woke up was that something wasn't right. He felt warm, and safe - which was good - but something just seemed out of place.
Opening his eyes slowly, Changmin waited until his vision cleared before looking at his surroundings.
It looked a lot like his old room in his old apartment that Yunho was now living in alone.
Closing his eyes, he slowly tried to remember what happened last night.
He'd been drinking with Kyu-line last night to celebrate the success of the filming for Moonlight Prince … and because he couldn't get a hold of Yunho. Then what had happened? He'd gotten slightly tipsy and remembered leaning on Minho and Kyuhyun for support as they made their way out of Kyuhyun's dorm.
And then ... and then they'd hauled down a taxi and clambered in, or in Changmin's case, fell in. And then ... he'd given Yunho's address to the driver for their destination.
Shit.
Then what? He remembered vaguely leaning against the cool wall of the elevator and then again on the wall next to the door. He remembered Yunho's face as the door opened, remembered Yunho brushing his teeth and changing his clothes for him before putting him to bed. And then asking Yunho to sleep with him.
Double shit.
Changmin bolted upright as the memories all came back to him crystal clear, and then regretted it immediately as he clutched his head between his hands as the effects of a hangover decided now would be a good time to make their appearance.
When the pain had subsided, he opened his eyes again to glance around.
The bed was empty save himself, but there was still a slight dint in the pillow beside his own indicating that indeed another person had been in bed with him throughout the night. A piece of paper on the bedside table caught his attention, with a packet of painkillers and glass of water on top of it.
Downing the painkillers gratefully, Changmin gave himself a few minutes before picking up the piece of paper to read.
Changmin,
Hey, I don't know if you remember or not, but Minho and Kyuhyun dropped you off here because you'd given the taxi driver my address. You must have been pretty drunk to have forgotten you don't live here anymore. Anyway, yes I did sleep in the same bed as you but only because you were adamant about it so don't kill me after this :) I have to be at the filming location for my drama at seven so hope you don't mind that I left early. There's some leftover food in the fridge if you want it before you head out. Call me for anything.
Yunho.
Changmin chuckled lightly to himself. Oh he remembered all right.
Giving himself another few minutes to fully wake up, Changmin then slowly got out of bed and made his way to the bathroom.
He glanced down at the floor first out of habit and was surprised to see it spotless, free of the usual splashes of water, toothpaste and occasional towel in the corner from where Yunho would usually fling it after drying his body from a shower.
On one side of the sink, he noticed Yunho's toothbrush lying neatly next to an upturned glass and a tube of toothpaste that had clearly been squeezed from the bottom. On the other side, was another toothbrush that he remembered Yunho using to brush his teeth with last night and a sticky note with a smiley face on it.
It was a rare sight to see everything so perfect and tidy that Changmin couldn't help but smile.
As he brushed his teeth, he tried to ignore the slight ache in his chest.
Since he had the rest of the day free, Changmin decided to stay just a little bit longer around the apartment. After heating up the leftovers Yunho had left for him, he plopped down on the couch and settled down to watch some TV.
After awhile, Changmin couldn't help but feel that something was wrong. Glancing around for a bit, Changmin finally realized what it was.
The living room was spotless … clean … tidy … just like the bathroom.
There were no shoes on the floor, no socks slipped in between the sofa cushions, and no magazines and newspapers piled messily on the coffee table. Everything was completely spotless.
It should have been a good thing that Yunho had finally learned to clean up after himself, Changmin thought to himself. But he couldn't help but think that he missed his hyung being the messy person he was before. It just didn't feel right to have Yunho actually tidying up after himself.
Being back in his old apartment felt good, but it just wasn't the same.
He was half tempted to go grab his shoes and toss them onto the floor just because he could.
It was late in the afternoon when he received the phone call. He was lying in his old bed going through random memories of when he would have to constantly tell Yunho off for his messiness when his phone rang.
An unknown number flashed across the screen and Changmin's thumb hovered over the answer button as he contemplated who it could be. The last time he had answered a call from a private number, it had been a saseng fan who had somehow gotten hold of his number. As soon as he had answered, the call had cut off and it hadn't rung again.
For weeks after, a mysterious audio of his voice saying 'hello?' had made its way around the internet. It even became Yunho's ringtone at one point (the word repeating itself until Yunho answered the phone), which had been quite amusing at first but then gradually annoying as Changmin was forced to hear himself say 'hello' more than fifty times a day. And nope, it definitely didn't have to do with the fact that Yunho could never seem to find his phone whenever it started ringing.
Deciding that it couldn't get worse than the last time, Changmin answered it.
'Hello?'
'Hello? Changmin is that you?'
The phone fell to the bed soundlessly as Changmin's body froze in shock.
When he finally got over the surprise, he quickly put the phone back against his ear.
'H-hyung?'
'Hey … it's me. Long time no talk Changmin-ah.'
'J-Jaejoong hyung.'
Well this was certainly a surprise to say the least.
It had been an extremely awkward moment in the first five minutes of the call where Changmin had no idea what to say and it didn't help that his brain was flashing all the what, why and how questions at him.
They had been giving some brief updates on their lives when things started to go downhill.
'What? You're living separately now? Since when? Why are you two living separately now? I always thought Yunho didn't want to live alone.'
That's what I thought too Changmin had thought inwardly.
'He said something about how we should both start living separately and be more independent.'
'Really? That's the reason? Yunho doesn't sound like the type of person who would say something like that.'
'Yeah I know right. Well that's what he said so I'm just repeating what he said.'
'Wow, well I'm surprised he didn't tell me this when I met up with him last week.'
'Met up with him … last week?'
'Yeah, wait didn't Yunho tell you? I contacted him a few weeks ago and we'd finally managed to organize a time and place to meet up last week. He said he had tried to get you to come along but you had declined because you were busy with your new variety show. Anyway, it took me awhile to get your number because Yunho wouldn't give it to me over the phone and so I had to get it the hard way.'
Yunho hadn't told him anything. Nothing at all.
'Umm oh yeah … I think he did mention it to me before but I was just really busy. Sorry hyung.'
'It's okay. But still, I can't believe he didn't tell me you guys are living separately now. I guess he must really be busy with filming for his drama to have forgotten to mention it to me.'
They made more small talk but Changmin's mind was half preoccupied with thoughts of why Yunho didn't tell him he'd been in contact with Jaejoong again.
'Anyway I have to go now Changminnie, I have to meet up with my manager soon. It's nice to finally hear your voice again and I'm sorry it's taken this long for me to contact you. I … I've missed you Changmin-ah.'
'I've missed you too hyung. We should catch up soon.'
They exchanged a few promises of meeting up soon before hanging up. When the call ended, Changmin dropped the phone and buried his face in his hands.
When Yunho finally arrived back at his apartment well after midnight, he found Changmin sitting on the couch staring blankly at the wall in front of him.
'Changmin? You're still here? Is everything okay?' he asked as he came around to take a seat next to the younger man.
Changmin was silent as he dropped his gaze to the floor.
'So when were you planning on telling me about meeting up with Jaejoong hyung?'
Yunho tensed beside him and Changmin waited patiently for a response.
'How did you know?'
Changmin scoffed.
'He called me this afternoon saying it was a shame I couldn't make it last week.'
'Changmin-ah,' Yunho started slowly.
'Don't Changmin-ah me hyung. I think you owe me an explanation,' Changmin grit out as he looked straight into Yunho's eyes.
Yunho turned away and this time it was his turn to look down at the floor of the living room.
'I didn't tell you because … I wasn't sure if you would be ready for it yet.'
'Ready for what?'
'For a reunion … to see Jaejoong again … or the others as a matter of fact.'
'What do you mean you're not sure if I would be ready for it yet? It's been three years now hyung, three years since the lawsuit. I think that's a long enough time to wait for a bloody reunion don't you think?'
'I don't mean it that way-'
'Then what way do you mean?'
'I mean this,' Yunho exaggerated by waving his arms.
'This?' Changmin repeated confused.
'Yes this. We're only mentioning them now and already you're so angry.'
'I'm only angry because you decided not to tell me about Jaejoong hyung calling you and then I had to find out the stupid way by being clueless to everything he was saying.'
'But if I had told you the truth from the start, would you have willingly come along with me to see Jaejoong?'
Changmin pondered this question carefully. He didn't want to admit it, but he most probably wouldn't have.
'No, I probably wouldn't have.'
'Exactly.'
'But you could have still told me that he'd called you.'
Here, Yunho looked slightly guilty.
'I should've and I'm sorry I didn't. I just wanted to wait for the right moment. You seemed so busy recently with preparing for your variety show that I didn't want to add something on to your mind and have you stress out over it. I was going to wait until maybe everything had settled down for you before telling you.'
It made sense, and Changmin was internally happy that Yunho had given this matter so much thought, just for him.
'I … I see.'
But … there was something else that was bugging him though. There was another reason that Yunho might have wanted to meet with Jaejoong without telling Changmin.
'You're not angry at me are you?' Yunho asked worriedly.
Changmin turned to look at him and was about to reassure the leader that he wasn't when he caught sight of something dangling on Yunho's phone on the coffee table.
It was a phone accessory of a red elephant with half a heart attached to it.
Half a heart normally meant it was a couple item … and a red elephant could have been a gift from no one other than Jaejoong. Could it be …
Abruptly Changmin stood up from his spot, his thoughts suddenly whirling around his mind at all the implications.
'Changmin?'
'I have to go now,' Changmin stated as calmly as he could.
He didn't wait for a response as he made his way towards the door. He heard Yunho follow behind him but the ache in his chest was increasing and he just knew he needed to get out, now.
'Changmin, are you angry at me? I'm really sorry I didn't tell you about meeting up with Jaejoongie,' he vaguely heard Yunho say as he slipped his shoes on.
'Of course I'm not angry at you hyung.' He tried to say it like he meant it, really he did. But for some reason it came out flat and monotonous as he reached out to open the door.
'Chang-'
'I have to go now hyung, it's getting late and you're probably tired. I'll talk to you later.'
He managed a twitch of his lips in what he hoped was a smile before shutting the door behind him.
The following day, Changmin was determined to stay in bed and sleep. When that didn't work, he got up and went into the kitchen to cook up a feast for himself. He then sat in front of the couch and binged on his kimbap whilst casually casting sidelong glances at his phone, never mind the fact that Yunho was probably already at the set filming for his drama.
The day passed slowly and finally when Changmin was halfway through his tub of ice cream, did he let his mind wander and delve into those thoughts he'd kept hidden away for the past three years.
A few years ago - three to be exact - something had happened between the leader and the maknae of TVXQ causing things to be slightly awkward between them for quite a few months.
It occurred right around the time three members of TVXQ had filed for a lawsuit against their agency SM Entertainment.
Yunho had confessed to Changmin.
At the time, Changmin had just come into puberty, taking that step from leaving the days of his teenage life behind and entering the world as an adult. Everything was a bit of a jumble for him, and coupled with the lawsuit, Changmin's mind really wasn't ready to handle a confession from a man he had previously only admired as his idol.
The rejection had been harsh, for both of them, and Changmin remembered not having talked to Yunho for a whole two weeks. It had been the most painful two weeks of his life and when he finally decided he couldn't handle it anymore and gave Yunho a hug on one quiet Sunday morning in the middle of the kitchen, Changmin vowed he would never put them through this pain again.
Unbidden tears came to his eyes as Changmin relieved the painful memories from all those years ago. He suddenly felt very, very tired.
Changmin intended only to shut his eyes for a few minutes to recollect his thoughts, but eventually he fell asleep curled up on the couch.
It was a few hours later when Changmin awoke to a caress on the side of his face.
'Wha-'
Changmin opened his eyes groggily and came face to face with Yunho.
'Hyung,' his mind supplied for him and he nodded sleepily, about to close his eyes again when he realized that Yunho was in his apartment and touching his face.
Changmin sat bolt upright, dislodging Yunho's hand at the same time.
'What are you doing here?'
It hadn't meant to come out as harsh as it sounded and Yunho flinched at the tone.
'I tried calling you but it kept sending me to voicemail so I thought I'd come over.'
Changmin whipped his head around to glance at his phone. Picking it up he jabbed at it a few times before throwing it to the side.
'Battery's dead,' he offered as a means of explanation.
Yunho nodded his head and took a seat beside him.
'We need to talk.'
Changmin swallowed and looked away.
'About what?'
'About yesterday. You left so sudden Changmin-ah.'
Changmin sat quietly, not really know what to say.
'I'm really sorry for not telling you about Jaejoong,' Yunho started.
At the name of the man, Changmin's fists clenched as he swallowed a lump in his throat.
'It's okay hyung,' Changmin forced himself to say.
'No it's not,' Yunho countered in a harsh voice.
Changmin tensed and looked up in surprise.
'It's not okay,' Yunho repeated, this time a lot softer. 'I shouldn't have hidden it from you, I thought I was doing it for your own good, but I just made things worse. Who am I to make decisions for you?'
Changmin let out a small smile at the last bit.
'You're the leader, of course you make the decisions.'
Yunho turned to look at him with a frown.
'But not about personal matters.'
Changmin sighed as he leant back into the couch.
'Hyung, it's fine. I'm really not angry at you for not telling me. You did what you did only because you thought it would be good for me, and that's fine.'
'Then yesterday, why did you …' Yunho trailed off, not knowing how to word it without making Changmin angry again.
Changmin didn't reply and instead let his gaze wander towards the coffee table where Yunho had placed his wallet, keys … and phone. He stared at the phone accessory of the red elephant and winced as his heart clenched in pain again.
'That phone accessory,' he whispered quietly indicating to it with a hand.
'This one?' Yunho asked, picking his phone up.
'Yeah, that one. Where did you get it?'
Yunho smiled as he dangled it in front of Changmin's face.
'I got it from Jaejoong. He gave it to me last week when we met up.'
Changmin clenched his fists again as any hope of it not being from Jaejoong were crushed.
'Oh,' he said softly.
'Changmin?'
'Hmm?'
'What's wrong?'
'Nothing's wrong.'
'Don't lie to me. Something was obviously bothering you yesterday when you left, just like how it is now.'
It was times like this that Changmin wished Yunho wasn't so perceptive of his feelings.
'I don't know, I really don't know,' he replied as he buried his face in his hands.
He felt Yunho shuffle closer to him on the couch and then a pair of hands were tugging his own away from his face and he found himself gazing into Yunho's eyes that were filled with concern.
'Changminnie, we've know each other for over ten years now, you know you can tell me anything right?'
Changmin nodded his head while dropping his gaze. He tried to rearrange his thoughts, line them up in order so he could let it all out to Yunho without confusing the older man. But it was too much and everything just came out in a jumble.
'I feel like we're hardly spending any time together these days because you're so busy filming for your drama and I'm always busy preparing for my variety show. I miss you hyung. I miss us living together. I miss having to scold you because you throw your belongings all over the living room, like that one time I found a pair of your socks under the coffee table. I miss walking into my bedroom and seeing my drawers in a mess because you'd claimed I'd stolen your clothes and were looking for them, when really they were just buried under a pile of junk in your corner so deep it took you weeks to clean.'
Yunho looked at him in surprise but Changmin didn't give him time to ask any questions and just continued on.
'I was feeling really down up until yesterday because we hadn't talked for five days. It's really not that long a time at all, but I guess I'm just so used to talking to you every day that it feels weird when I don't.
'Maybe I really can't do this independent thing. Maybe I wasn't as strong as I thought I was. Maybe it really is impossible to forget about the past.'
'Changmin?' Yunho whispered softly, not really sure where they were heading with this.
'I thought that regardless if we never spoke of it again, you would still stay by my side no matter what happened. I guess I just took it all for granted huh, and now I'm too late.'
'Changmin, what are you talking about?' Yunho asked confused.
'You're together now aren't you? There was another reason why you didn't want me to go out and meet Jaejoong hyung with you right? I'm not stupid hyung,' Changmin said with a scoff towards the end.
Yunho frowned as his mind tried to process everything that Changmin had just thrown at him.
'Wait … you think … that Jaejoong and I are together? As in a couple?'
Changmin nodded like it was the most obvious answer.
Yunho grinned.
'You idiot, how did you even come to that conclusion? Of course we're not together, silly.'
Now it was Changmin's turn to frown.
'You're not? But the phone accessory …'
Yunho rolled his eyes.
'Yes, Jaejoong gave me the phone accessory, I told you that yesterday. But he doesn't have the other half, I do. Jaejoong gave me the set and told me to give the other half to the person I loved when the time was right.'
'Oh … is that so …'
Yunho chuckled and tightened his grip on Changmin's hands.
'Yes, now will you tell me the whole story? What's this about me staying by your side and you taking it for granted and being too late? Too late for what?'
Changmin bit his lip as he wished fervently to take back everything he had said in the last five minutes. He had just given himself away to the man sitting beside him, and for the stupidest reason to boot.
'Umm …'
'Are you trying to tell me that for the past three years, someone has been harbouring a tiny crush on their leader but was too afraid to admit it?'
Changmin could feel his face flush in embarrassment as he wondered just what he should do right now.
He could balk and just tell Yunho to ignore everything he'd just said and pray that they could go back to their normal lives like before, or he could just bite the bullet and go for it.
Oh to hell with it he thought to himself.
'Will you still accept me now?' he whispered quietly.
Yunho's jaw dropped open in surprise at the blatant confession that was also a question. Out of all the scenarios that Yunho had conjured up in his dreams, this definitely wasn't one of them - at least, he didn't think Changmin would be the one to ask this question.
When Yunho failed to answer in the next five seconds, Changmin bit his lip with worry.
'I didn't mean to reject you all those years ago. I just … well I've said it before, you just confessed at a really bad time. The others had just filed the lawsuit and I was just trying to adjust to stepping into the life of an adult. My emotions were all a mess, I wasn't sure what my feelings for you back then were. Did I also return your feelings back then or were they more towards a brotherly or idolizing feel? I just really wasn't prepared for a confession back then. I really didn't mean to reject you.'
'And now?' Yunho ventured quietly.
'Now … I realize that my feelings for you were the same, and they still are. I was just too young back then to have realized what they were.'
'I see.'
'So …'
'Hmm?'
'Will you still accept me now?' Changmin repeated quietly.
Yunho smiled and then leant in close to place a kiss to the tip of Changmin's nose.
'Idiot,' he said affectionately. 'Of course I'll still accept you. I've been waiting for you to say yes all these years.'
Changmin's cheeks flushed red at the action and words.
'R-really?'
Yunho nodded his head.
'Then why did you make me move away?' Changmin asked, a small pout forming on his lips.
'Because it was starting to hurt, seeing you so close but knowing that you might never return my feelings. At first I thought it was great because I could have you by my side even if you weren't necessarily mine. But lately it's just really started to hurt and so I thought that maybe if we lived apart, the pain would slowly go away.'
'And did it?'
Yunho smiled bitterly.
'No, it didn't. It started to hurt even more. I was tempted to just ask you to move back in with me but I told myself no. I needed to start living by myself and be independent.'
'I'm sorry I caused you so much pain.'
'What are you sorry for? It's not your fault silly,' Yunho said with a chuckle.
Changmin still felt guilty though and wouldn't meet Yunho's gaze, instead turning his body away from the leader.
Deciding that this needed to be changed, Yunho grabbed Changmin by the hips and, with strength he reserved for doing crazy things on variety shows (such as doing squats with Changmin in his arms), hauled Changmin across the couch and directly onto his lap.
Changmin yelped as he found himself sprawled on the leader's lap, legs on either side and arms wrapped around the older man's neck for balance.
'There, much better,' Yunho said with a grin.
Changmin bit his lip and looked away in embarrassment.
'So …' he started awkwardly.
'So …'
'I don't suppose I can move back in together with you now?'
'Probably not right now unless you want to make everyone curious as to why you moved out and then back in three months later.'
'Yeah … not really.'
Changmin was genuinely unhappy about this and he showed it with a pout that could rival Yunho's when the latter was in one of those childish unhappy moods because the stylist would pay more attention to Changmin (on purpose) than to him when they'd get their hair and makeup done prior to a performance.
'Aww … it's okay, you can come visit me anytime and we could do sleepovers where I ask you to sleep with me at night so I can tell you ghost stories and have you cuddle up against me afterwards when we go to sleep,' Yunho said with a chuckle.
Changmin snorted and whacked Yunho lightly on the shoulder.
'Idiot,' he muttered affectionately.
'You don't like my idea of a sleepover?' Yunho asked in mock seriousness.
Changmin grinned.
'I love it, but instead of going over to your place tonight, how about you stay the night here instead?'
Yunho tightened his hold around Changmin's waist and pulled him closer.
'Sounds like a fantastic idea.'
♥
A/N: To xuewentoh I hope this was what you wanted and that you like it >__< I tried my best to include everything from your prompt :3
tbh I don't think I've written fics like this before where it's a band!fic but with a lot of uhh conflicts? I had planned to make the fic more angsty but in the end I just couldn't do it LOL hope it's not too fluffy for you and that the length of it is okay~
Again I hope you like this and I'm sorry I'm a few days late ;n; ~♥