Zenith
Title: Zenith
Medium(s) used : courage, companion, celestial, carousel
Pairing: Mino x Seunghoon
Length: 4302 words
Rating: PG
Warning: Mention of certain mental condition,
Summary: When love is the culminating point of their life, Minho doesn't have to be everyone's hero and Seunghoon doesn't have to be everyone's honor.
Author's note: Everything mentioned on this story is for fictional purpose only. Apologize for any misconceptions and factual inaccuracies.
-----
The scene of families having picnic in the clear sunny evening with sound of children’s laughter ringing is a stark contrast to Minho’s darken mood. And if he was being honest, happy atmosphere radiating from people around fueled his sullen mood even more, because it felt like people were happy at his expense. How dare they played around and enjoyed life like that when he basically bargained with evil for living.
He could not help it. He always came to that meadow park. It is part of his daily routine, his tradition. He would always sit at a stone bench near Victorian style outdoor lamp post surrounded with wild rose bush nearby. Accross his sitting place there are cluster of bishop pine trees, spreading further into the edge of cliff to the sea. At that small forest laid a small pathways leading to a large vintage house. And from that same pathway too that bubbly creature would always come out.
There he is. That big baby.
Wearing a ridiculuos flower patterned red suit, he brought a bouquet of bright yellow balloons in his hands. Happily walking towards Minho’s bench with big smile etched on his face, the lanky figure sat himself right beside Minho. He shoved his hands full of balloons towards Minho’s face, making Minho fliched to avoid the balloons right in front of his face.
“Let’s play!” He exlaimed happily.
“I’m tired. Just go play alone.”
“You’re no fun. Let’s go to the beach!”
“Yes, I’m no fun. And no.”
He pouted. “Fine I’m going to the beach alone!”
“No!” Minho turned serious. “You are definitely not going to the beach alone.”
“But you always refuse to go with me. You don’t like me anymore.”
“Who would want to go with you if you shoved bunch of balloons in front of their face! And what’s with that bizare outfit?”
“It’s not bizare!”
“It’s weird!”
“It’s not!” He looked down at his outfit. “It’s a good clothes. I love this.”
Minho snorted at him, earning a smack at his upper arm.
“You’re so mean. For every mean words you speak a balloon will burst!”
“Why don’t you play with Haute?”
“I want to play with you. Why won’t you play with me?”
“I’m tired. Today’s a very rough day.”
“You lost?”
“No, I won.” He answered grimly. “And I’m not proud.”
“Oh.” He knew whenever Minho felt upset over his win, it means the win was an undeserved one. “Then let’s take a walk at the beach to ease your feeling.”
Frustratingly Minho ran a hand through his hair. “Oh, God, why don’t you understand that I am tired now? I don’t want to go to the beach. And I still have unfinished works need to be done. Go home, it’s getting late.”
“Why do you have to do the works you hate so much?”
“Because that’s what people do!”
He was taken aback at Minho’s strong respond and so did Minho. He did not mean to respond with such an answer, and it was the implication behind his words that he dreaded a lot.
“Look, I didn’t mean to...” he abruptly stood before Minho finished his sentences and let out all balloons in his hands flown up in the air. Without turning back to Minho, he ran to the forest and disappeared at the pathway toward his house.
Minho took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. He was extra upset but it was not a valid reason to take out all his frustration to him. Just when he thought his day could not get any worse, he was the one who gave the final blow to ruin his day perfectly.
-----
Minho decided to visit him in his house. He left straight after work and made a stop at prop and party shop to buy a balloon bouquet in various colour. He also made a quick stop and jelly and candy shop because he has such a sweet tooth. Well, he loved almost every food, but a box of turkish delight would be a special treat in attempt to make amend to him.
The house assistant opened the door for him and told him in a sympathetic smile that the person he intended to visit had spent the last four hours tiptoeing and daydreaming in the south balcony. The balcony that facing directly into the ocean.
“I have something for you.”
He was peeking through the almost two meters high railing into the open ocean when Minho walked into him. He did not respond to Minho, most likely because he was too absorbed in his own world at the moment. His father built the high railing when he was younger to prevent him from jumping straight to the sea. The sea that had always been fascinating him. He loved it. A bit too much. And he also had his own little world that evolved around sea it seemed, because when his parents took him to the beach he would always played and swam a bit too far.
“Seunghoon-ah.” Minho gently grabbed his shoulder and turned him around to get his full attention. “Look, I bought you balloons and candies.”
Seunghoon stared at Minho, down to the hands bringing balloons and box of Turkish delight, and back to Minho again. “All balloons in the world is not enough to wrap your cruelty.”
“Seunghoon-ah I’m so sorry for yesterday.” Minho never considered himself a good person. Not even decent. He considered himself a devil’s advocate, because he literally stood for them and stepped on the weak and righteous. He paid no mind to any profanity had been thrown to him but when the word came out from Seunghoon it pained him more than his guilt feeling.
“Now go and do what people do. I don’t want to play with you.”
Before he turned around to peek at the sea again, Minho quickly proposed to go with him. “Lets go to the beach.”
“Yes! Lets go!”
His small eyes widened at the proposal and he jumped to Minho for a bear hug. Minho felt a bit disheartened at this reaction. “But not today.” He smiled apologetically at Seunghoon.
Seunghoon, who was still glued into him, stared at him in accusation. “You were cruel to me and now you’re lying to me!’
“I’m not lying. We’re going to go to the beach, but not today. I have a lot of works to do, and if I’m not mistaken, you too will be having a showcase at the end of this week right? Have you finished your painting?”
“Umm..it’s almost finished.” He hesitated a bit. “So we can't go?”
“No, we just delay it. Lets go next week when you’re done with your activity and I’m done with my case.”
“Deal. Now give me that balloons!”
Minho handed him the balloons bouquet and got startled when Seunghoon let the balloon flew away one by one. “Why are you letting them go?”
“I’m not letting them go. I’m sending them with good wishes.” He paused before kissed each balloons and released them to the open air. “Like lampions. Or candles.”
“And what are you wishing for Seunghoon-ah?”
“I wish Minho will become a nice person.” Red balloon flew away.
“I wish Minho will stay healthy so he can take me to the beach.” Blue balloon flew away.
“I wish Minho will get work that makes him happy.” Yellow balloon flew away.
“I wish Minho will always be happy.” Green balloon flew away.
“I wish people will love Minho and be kind to Minho.” Purple balloon flew away.
“I wish Minho and I can go to the beach next weekend.” White balloon flew away. The last balloon.
People and professionals deemed Seunghoon mental state as complicated. But for Minho who had known him for half of his life, he saw Seunghoon as someone simple. He had his own world, but so did everybody. Never wished ill for people, too absorbed to his own reverie sometimes that made him failed to give attention to his surroundings, but never wicked.
"And what did you wish for yourself?"
"I wish I can go to the beach."
"Only that? You didn't wish for anything else?"
He turned to look Minho and beamed as he answered. "I wish you will never get bored with me."
It made him sad to hear Seunghoon said it cheerfully. He wished for it sincerely and perhaps did not think about how other people perceived him deeply. But surely he knew. He is unique, different, but not stupid.
"Never. I will never get tired of you."
Like a fresh air, clear water, and warm sunshine. Wanted and needed. That's how essential Seunghoon for Minho's life.
-----
It's not yet the appointed weekend, but Minho decided to visited Seunghoon at his home. Last time he saw him on park was at weekend three days prior and he did not come the days afterwards. He wondered if Seunghoon was sick or if he was preoccupied with something at the moment.
When he arrived at Seunghoon's house he was greeted with a view of a messy hall. Various items scattered around the floor. Further observation at the mess and Minho realised why the items were all familiar to him. They were gifts he bought for Seunghoon. He looked at the house assistant in confussion and she just gave him an apologetic smile.
"What happened? Is this all he does since last weekend?"
"Sort of. He is a bit upset."
"Why?"
"Oh, well, there was..."
A flash of red suddenly flew off past his face, followed with a soft thud from something pink. Seunghoon just threw a red hoodie and pink sandals from his room in the second floor. He just threw random gift directly from his room over the balcony to Minho amazement. This is new. He sometimes made quite a fuss when upset, but never he created such a mess like this.
"Lee Seunghoon!"
The said person came out from his room and peeked over the balcony to see the man who called him. He narrowed his eyes at the sight of Minho and puffed his cheeks in annoyance. "You go home! I don't want to see you today."
"Okay. So what did I do wrong now?”
“You’re wrong because you come to this house without permission. Now leave!”
“Lee Seunghoon stop the tantrum and get down here now.”
He frowned at this and quickly disappear into his room. An opened container box was in his hands when he came back to the view, and he spilled everything inside that box down to the hall. Right in front of Minho was a various kind of plushies he bought as a signature item from various countries. It was actually an insult when someone threw away all gifts you collected but Minho's affection towards Seunghoon is bigger than mountain.
"What happened?" He turned to the assistant.
"He is a bit upset these days. You've been on the news."
"Oh..."
He rarely took a case that involved celebrity, but when he did, sometimes he would get dragged into their messy gossip. His current client is a female celebrity and news outlets started to use every picture with them in one frame as a headline. The drawback of being handsome and famous.
He could not comfort Seunghoon at the moment because he had works and promised to come again the next day. Seunghoon usually did not get worked up about something for so long, so he supposed this time he did take the matter personally. Minho was in the middle of working when his phone ringing. It's Seunghoon's assistant.
"I'm sorry for bothering you, but can you come to the hospital now?"
"What? What happened?"
"Earlier he jumped off..."
Minho could not think straight. He felt sick imagining how Seunghoon is at the moment. He did not expect Seunghoon would be that upset and the reaction would be that bold. He should have stayed to comfort him and found out what really bothered him. He ditched all his work and flew to the hospital right away. He swore if something bad happened to Seunghoon he would go insane.
"Oh my God where is he? How is he doing?"
"He's fine now. Doctor have given him antihistamine and the rash is subdued already."
"Rash?" Minho almost choked at his word. Seunghoon's assistant is strangely very calm and he had no idea how antihistamine took a part on this.
"It was pretty bad, almost everywhere in his body and even his face. He said it's still itchy and but not as burning as before."
"Just what the fuck did just happen? You said he jumped off earlier."
"Oh...well, he did jump. He was sketching in the back yard and walking around the meadow before decided to dive in it. He got a quite bad rash as a result." The assistant looked at Minho sympathetically. "You hung up before I was finished."
That's it. He sure is going insane because of Seunghoon. Could not believe he jumped at the worst conclusion and thought about all bad things, things he would never want to be happened in reality. Minho shuddered at those petty thoughts of his and hoped he did not jinx it.
Seunghoon glared at him once he stepped into the room and quickly turned his back on him. Still fuming.
"Look at what you've done to yourself. How will we go to the beach with all these rashes."
"..."
"Seunghoon-ah." Minho patted his hair but still no respond. "What did I say about television?"
"Seunghoon-ah...are you jealous?"
"Go home now!"
He's finally responding, interesting.
"Of course I will go home. And I'm gonna make a stop at that new bakery near the park and buy berries cakes. I was going to buy some for our beach picnic, but it seems you don't want to go and purposely got the rash."
"I'm not purposely getting it!"
"Then why did you dived in to the meadow? You know you're allergic to meadow grass."
"I was too happy."
"Oh, so you were happy? And here I thought you were angry with me and I'm literally suffering from the never-ending thought of how I can win your heart and making you smile and happy. Seriously, Seunghoon-ah, you should think about how I feel too."
"I was happy my drawing is done and the sun was smilling and there were lots of ladybugs and dragonflies talking to milkweeds in labyrinth. You think I did it deliberately for your attention? I just wanted to join them." Seunghoon pouted and squinted his small eyes so it looked like his eyes disappeared into his fluffy cheeks. And to Minho's pleasure, he just looked so disgustingly adorable with that face. Seunghoon and his lovely world.
"Okay, but next time you want to join them try to take a little time, just a little, to hold back a bit and look at your surroundings to see whether it's dangerous or safe."
"They're not dangerous. It's just a labyrinth garden and they were just all played and talked. That's all." Seunghoon sulked and Minho could not help but bent down and kissed his cheek, which startled Seunghoon.
Minho lowered his body so he was on Seunghoon's eye levels. "Look, you rest well so doctor can discharge you tomorrow and we still can go to the beach at weekend. You miss the theatre and the violinist cormorants don't you?"
Seunghoon nodded his head. "I miss elephants too."
"Hope they miss you too."
"They will. Elephants always remember. Forgive but never forget."
"Was that a lowkey shading directed on me?"
Seunghoon shrugged his shoulder and pulled out the comforter to cover his head.
"You know what, elephants are great. But kangaroos are the manliest animal."
"But elephants are big and heavy they can crush everything. And there's lions and cheetahs with sharp claws and teeth."
"Sure, but they are sissy and elephant is just childish."
"Why?" He peeked from under the comforter.
"Because big cats fight with claw and teeth like schoolgirls and elephant only can stomp on his feet like a kid throwing tantrum while kangaroos fight like a man, using jabs and kicks to knock off their opponents."
Seunghoon, again, gave Minho squinted eyes. "Was that a lowkey shading directed on me?"
Minho laughed as he stood up and ruffled Seunghoon hair. "Rest well, Seunghoon-ah. I can't wait to go to the beach with you."
And Minho left. But not before he gave Seunghoon a light kiss on his forehead, which again, got him startled.
-----
The car engine had not even turned off, but Seunghoon already jumped out from his seat and ran off to the beach. It was already a habit but Minho could not help but being worried. What if he got tripped and hurt himself? What if they had not parked in a solid ground and he fell off and hurt himself? What if there was another car speeding off and struck from behind?
He hated himself for thinking such bad thoughts but sometimes Seunghoon's vehemence was no different with being reckless. Mostly he acted and behaved like most people, but there was a time he would do something on impulse. Beach is one of various things that could trigger his impulsive act. Minho was sure if Seunghoon was to be let alone anywhere close with the sea area, he would be drowned.
And he thought about bad things. Again. A ramifications of his profession he supposed, always assumed. There was this one assumption about Seunghoon though, that he tried to justify, but he was not sure how. He could seek a proof by exploited Seunghoon's latest antics and made a challenge of it, but the last thing he wanted in his gloomy life is scaring Seunghoon away. He needed him. Like a sun, like a water, like a fresh air.
"Song Minho!"
He was brought up to reality by Seunghoon's cheerful loud call, and realised in horror he just left him alone exploring the beach.
"Seunghoon-ah don't wander off too far!"
"Come and get me. Come and get me!" Seunghoon shouted in a sing-song voice and dashed off further into the water, making Minho virtually paled in frustration.
They spent good hours virtually in the water. Seunghoon kept wandered and swam around, all the while gotten occupied with various fauna of shoreline. Occasionally they would dived into deeper area but always got back right away, thanks to Minho awareness, before they got too far into areas of ocean current. When they were at shoreline area Seunghoon would ramble on cormorants and the birds would make some noise out of his surprise ambush.
Sometimes he would sat at the rocky shore, with Minho on his side, attentively watched the shoreline habitat dispersed while listened to the sound of waves crashed into rocks. And there were times when Seunghoon would gazed at the horizon, the line where the sky and the sea met with orange adorned cerulean blue, with a wistful look on his face. And Minho could not help but thought how that solemn expression bathed in the golden of sunset looked so ethereal.
They laid on the warm sand, bathed in warm sunset, waves periodically washed over their body, and hands entangled to each other warmly. Seunghoon turned his head to look at Minho at gave him a warm smile, and Minho reciprocated with a warm squeezed to his hand.
"You know what, sometimes when I look at the sea far far away, with the luminous golden sphere hanging above it, I hear them calling for me to come."
"And who are they?"
"They are the lights, the silver shining, the tranquil, the benevolent. They are everything I see in my dreams. A majestic realm where colourful threads intertwine to one another, creating a harmony of light and melody. It's like the inside of kaleidoscope. Beautiful, wonderful, peaceful. Like a hum of a breeze or a soothing touch of a sunset. I think that's why the ladybugs, the dragonflies, the crickets, the cormorants, the periwinkles all live happily. They live in the place where nobody's judging, nobody's mocking, nobody's indignifying. And there's no cruelty and sorrow. I just want to live happily."
If Minho could, he would take Seunghoon to that place immediately. The place where no one would hurt him or made him sad. But he knew there were no such place in the world, at least not in this reality, and no single soul deserved that kind of freedom of living happily and peacefully. And he was too selfish, to let Seunghoon out of his grasp.
"Are you unhappy now?" He brought their intertwined hands to his chest and placed them over where his heart beats.
"I am the happiest now." He beamed at Minho. Blindingly. Beautifully.
"So why you'd still want to go if you're happy?"
"Because I'm only happy when you're around." Lone tear rolled out from his single eye. "I can't when I'm not with you." He continued in a whisper.
"But I always around. I will always be around for you Lee Seunghoon."
"I..." Seunghoon choked on his word, and Minho pulled Seunghoon's head to the crooked of his neck.
"What am I going to do if I don't have you here, Seunghoon-ah."
"You have them." He answered in a quite voice. "You have her."
Minho tensed at this. He did not sure whether to fume or to laugh. "Things are not always like how they are presented. It's never them nor her. It's you, the only genuine soul I have close in my life. This world is full of pretense and deceit, Seunghoon-ah. They're acquaintances at the moment, but who knows where they will be when I fall from my glory. Where will you be, Seunghoon-ah?"
Seunghoon looked up at him. Concern and longing visible in his eyes. "You will never be unhappy. I always see you in my dreams. With the ladybugs and the dragonflies under the sun." He sat up and looked right into Minho's eyes. "If I'm like those people, would you...would like me too?"
"Who's those people?" Minho too sat up. "And I don't need you to be like anyone else."
"Don't be like this! I know what I am. I know what they think of me. I know I'm not normal and I know you won't be with me forever."
"No, you don't know. You don't know how I always want to hold you close. Forever." He closed their distance and hugged Seunghoon to his embrace. "And don't you dare to call yourself all the petty things those idiots call you. You're not 'not normal'. You're just different. And I love you because you're different, Seunghoon-ah."
He was not sure what kind of love he had to him at first. But true to his words, Minho was attracted to Seunghoon because he was different. He often put evils on the glory and crushed the righteous ones for undeserved sentence. He indirectly destroyed life while Seunghoon is the epitome of pure living being. Always a child in heart, sometimes mischievous and troublesome, but a child is never sinister. And Minho felt ashamed for having such a thought for a pure soul.
"I am tainted, and I don't want to taint your perfect beauty with this dirty existence. But I am tainted, so I'm not a kind soul who is willing to sacrifice and stay away from you."
"But you're a kind soul, Minho. You're the only one being very kind with me and treat me like a real human being for a long time."
Seunghoon told him in a striking honesty. A clear fact he held half of his life. He did not care if Minho is a hero or a villain. He is a good person in his heart, in his life. That's all he knew. In his little world, he only had the lights, the silver shining, the tranquil, the benevolent, and Song Minho. That's why the ladybugs, the dragonflies, the crickets, the cormorants, the periwinkles, all lived happily. And he too would live happily.
----
Seunghoon lied on his side, tiredness and sleepiness engulfed his mind and body. His breathing got deeper and his body became more relaxed. Behind him Minho lied, hugging him close and tight. His right arm encircled Seunghoon on his waist while left arm patted Seunghoon's hair affectionately. Nose buried deep in his soft dark hair lovingly kissed the back of Seunghoon's head, breathed in his scent.
The light-steady-strokes accompanied with a deep-baritone-humming became lullabies, making Seunghoon's head felt even heavier as well as his eyelids. And before he fell into his innocent and peaceful slumber, Seunghoon turned around to face Minho and kissed him on the side of his lips while murmuring a soft-incoherent 'Goodnight'. A bit startled by his sudden advance, Minho smiled and leaned forward to plant a chaste kiss on his nose and down to his lips, mouthing a 'Goodnight, Baby' over Seunghoon's lips. He was asleep already, clinging to Minho with all his innocent soul and love, gave his all to the man he trusts with his pure heart.
Minho stared down at him tenderly, gave him a loving kiss on his head, his eyelids, his nose, both of his cheeks, and lastly a loving kiss on the lips. He is perfect, Seunghoon is the most perfect thing on Minho's tainted life because he represented innocence, peace, and kindness. He is a literal sunshine of happiness and he gave hope for the corrupted heart in the wicked world they lived in. Seunghoon gave Minho a taste of love, and he gave light to Minho's darkened heart. If Minho were bloods, flesh, and bones, then Seunghoon would be the soul, and both of them would be the life.
-----
Medium(s) used : courage, companion, celestial, carousel
Pairing: Mino x Seunghoon
Length: 4302 words
Rating: PG
Warning: Mention of certain mental condition,
Summary: When love is the culminating point of their life, Minho doesn't have to be everyone's hero and Seunghoon doesn't have to be everyone's honor.
Author's note: Everything mentioned on this story is for fictional purpose only. Apologize for any misconceptions and factual inaccuracies.
-----
The scene of families having picnic in the clear sunny evening with sound of children’s laughter ringing is a stark contrast to Minho’s darken mood. And if he was being honest, happy atmosphere radiating from people around fueled his sullen mood even more, because it felt like people were happy at his expense. How dare they played around and enjoyed life like that when he basically bargained with evil for living.
He could not help it. He always came to that meadow park. It is part of his daily routine, his tradition. He would always sit at a stone bench near Victorian style outdoor lamp post surrounded with wild rose bush nearby. Accross his sitting place there are cluster of bishop pine trees, spreading further into the edge of cliff to the sea. At that small forest laid a small pathways leading to a large vintage house. And from that same pathway too that bubbly creature would always come out.
There he is. That big baby.
Wearing a ridiculuos flower patterned red suit, he brought a bouquet of bright yellow balloons in his hands. Happily walking towards Minho’s bench with big smile etched on his face, the lanky figure sat himself right beside Minho. He shoved his hands full of balloons towards Minho’s face, making Minho fliched to avoid the balloons right in front of his face.
“Let’s play!” He exlaimed happily.
“I’m tired. Just go play alone.”
“You’re no fun. Let’s go to the beach!”
“Yes, I’m no fun. And no.”
He pouted. “Fine I’m going to the beach alone!”
“No!” Minho turned serious. “You are definitely not going to the beach alone.”
“But you always refuse to go with me. You don’t like me anymore.”
“Who would want to go with you if you shoved bunch of balloons in front of their face! And what’s with that bizare outfit?”
“It’s not bizare!”
“It’s weird!”
“It’s not!” He looked down at his outfit. “It’s a good clothes. I love this.”
Minho snorted at him, earning a smack at his upper arm.
“You’re so mean. For every mean words you speak a balloon will burst!”
“Why don’t you play with Haute?”
“I want to play with you. Why won’t you play with me?”
“I’m tired. Today’s a very rough day.”
“You lost?”
“No, I won.” He answered grimly. “And I’m not proud.”
“Oh.” He knew whenever Minho felt upset over his win, it means the win was an undeserved one. “Then let’s take a walk at the beach to ease your feeling.”
Frustratingly Minho ran a hand through his hair. “Oh, God, why don’t you understand that I am tired now? I don’t want to go to the beach. And I still have unfinished works need to be done. Go home, it’s getting late.”
“Why do you have to do the works you hate so much?”
“Because that’s what people do!”
He was taken aback at Minho’s strong respond and so did Minho. He did not mean to respond with such an answer, and it was the implication behind his words that he dreaded a lot.
“Look, I didn’t mean to...” he abruptly stood before Minho finished his sentences and let out all balloons in his hands flown up in the air. Without turning back to Minho, he ran to the forest and disappeared at the pathway toward his house.
Minho took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. He was extra upset but it was not a valid reason to take out all his frustration to him. Just when he thought his day could not get any worse, he was the one who gave the final blow to ruin his day perfectly.
-----
Minho decided to visit him in his house. He left straight after work and made a stop at prop and party shop to buy a balloon bouquet in various colour. He also made a quick stop and jelly and candy shop because he has such a sweet tooth. Well, he loved almost every food, but a box of turkish delight would be a special treat in attempt to make amend to him.
The house assistant opened the door for him and told him in a sympathetic smile that the person he intended to visit had spent the last four hours tiptoeing and daydreaming in the south balcony. The balcony that facing directly into the ocean.
“I have something for you.”
He was peeking through the almost two meters high railing into the open ocean when Minho walked into him. He did not respond to Minho, most likely because he was too absorbed in his own world at the moment. His father built the high railing when he was younger to prevent him from jumping straight to the sea. The sea that had always been fascinating him. He loved it. A bit too much. And he also had his own little world that evolved around sea it seemed, because when his parents took him to the beach he would always played and swam a bit too far.
“Seunghoon-ah.” Minho gently grabbed his shoulder and turned him around to get his full attention. “Look, I bought you balloons and candies.”
Seunghoon stared at Minho, down to the hands bringing balloons and box of Turkish delight, and back to Minho again. “All balloons in the world is not enough to wrap your cruelty.”
“Seunghoon-ah I’m so sorry for yesterday.” Minho never considered himself a good person. Not even decent. He considered himself a devil’s advocate, because he literally stood for them and stepped on the weak and righteous. He paid no mind to any profanity had been thrown to him but when the word came out from Seunghoon it pained him more than his guilt feeling.
“Now go and do what people do. I don’t want to play with you.”
Before he turned around to peek at the sea again, Minho quickly proposed to go with him. “Lets go to the beach.”
“Yes! Lets go!”
His small eyes widened at the proposal and he jumped to Minho for a bear hug. Minho felt a bit disheartened at this reaction. “But not today.” He smiled apologetically at Seunghoon.
Seunghoon, who was still glued into him, stared at him in accusation. “You were cruel to me and now you’re lying to me!’
“I’m not lying. We’re going to go to the beach, but not today. I have a lot of works to do, and if I’m not mistaken, you too will be having a showcase at the end of this week right? Have you finished your painting?”
“Umm..it’s almost finished.” He hesitated a bit. “So we can't go?”
“No, we just delay it. Lets go next week when you’re done with your activity and I’m done with my case.”
“Deal. Now give me that balloons!”
Minho handed him the balloons bouquet and got startled when Seunghoon let the balloon flew away one by one. “Why are you letting them go?”
“I’m not letting them go. I’m sending them with good wishes.” He paused before kissed each balloons and released them to the open air. “Like lampions. Or candles.”
“And what are you wishing for Seunghoon-ah?”
“I wish Minho will become a nice person.” Red balloon flew away.
“I wish Minho will stay healthy so he can take me to the beach.” Blue balloon flew away.
“I wish Minho will get work that makes him happy.” Yellow balloon flew away.
“I wish Minho will always be happy.” Green balloon flew away.
“I wish people will love Minho and be kind to Minho.” Purple balloon flew away.
“I wish Minho and I can go to the beach next weekend.” White balloon flew away. The last balloon.
People and professionals deemed Seunghoon mental state as complicated. But for Minho who had known him for half of his life, he saw Seunghoon as someone simple. He had his own world, but so did everybody. Never wished ill for people, too absorbed to his own reverie sometimes that made him failed to give attention to his surroundings, but never wicked.
"And what did you wish for yourself?"
"I wish I can go to the beach."
"Only that? You didn't wish for anything else?"
He turned to look Minho and beamed as he answered. "I wish you will never get bored with me."
It made him sad to hear Seunghoon said it cheerfully. He wished for it sincerely and perhaps did not think about how other people perceived him deeply. But surely he knew. He is unique, different, but not stupid.
"Never. I will never get tired of you."
Like a fresh air, clear water, and warm sunshine. Wanted and needed. That's how essential Seunghoon for Minho's life.
-----
It's not yet the appointed weekend, but Minho decided to visited Seunghoon at his home. Last time he saw him on park was at weekend three days prior and he did not come the days afterwards. He wondered if Seunghoon was sick or if he was preoccupied with something at the moment.
When he arrived at Seunghoon's house he was greeted with a view of a messy hall. Various items scattered around the floor. Further observation at the mess and Minho realised why the items were all familiar to him. They were gifts he bought for Seunghoon. He looked at the house assistant in confussion and she just gave him an apologetic smile.
"What happened? Is this all he does since last weekend?"
"Sort of. He is a bit upset."
"Why?"
"Oh, well, there was..."
A flash of red suddenly flew off past his face, followed with a soft thud from something pink. Seunghoon just threw a red hoodie and pink sandals from his room in the second floor. He just threw random gift directly from his room over the balcony to Minho amazement. This is new. He sometimes made quite a fuss when upset, but never he created such a mess like this.
"Lee Seunghoon!"
The said person came out from his room and peeked over the balcony to see the man who called him. He narrowed his eyes at the sight of Minho and puffed his cheeks in annoyance. "You go home! I don't want to see you today."
"Okay. So what did I do wrong now?”
“You’re wrong because you come to this house without permission. Now leave!”
“Lee Seunghoon stop the tantrum and get down here now.”
He frowned at this and quickly disappear into his room. An opened container box was in his hands when he came back to the view, and he spilled everything inside that box down to the hall. Right in front of Minho was a various kind of plushies he bought as a signature item from various countries. It was actually an insult when someone threw away all gifts you collected but Minho's affection towards Seunghoon is bigger than mountain.
"What happened?" He turned to the assistant.
"He is a bit upset these days. You've been on the news."
"Oh..."
He rarely took a case that involved celebrity, but when he did, sometimes he would get dragged into their messy gossip. His current client is a female celebrity and news outlets started to use every picture with them in one frame as a headline. The drawback of being handsome and famous.
He could not comfort Seunghoon at the moment because he had works and promised to come again the next day. Seunghoon usually did not get worked up about something for so long, so he supposed this time he did take the matter personally. Minho was in the middle of working when his phone ringing. It's Seunghoon's assistant.
"I'm sorry for bothering you, but can you come to the hospital now?"
"What? What happened?"
"Earlier he jumped off..."
Minho could not think straight. He felt sick imagining how Seunghoon is at the moment. He did not expect Seunghoon would be that upset and the reaction would be that bold. He should have stayed to comfort him and found out what really bothered him. He ditched all his work and flew to the hospital right away. He swore if something bad happened to Seunghoon he would go insane.
"Oh my God where is he? How is he doing?"
"He's fine now. Doctor have given him antihistamine and the rash is subdued already."
"Rash?" Minho almost choked at his word. Seunghoon's assistant is strangely very calm and he had no idea how antihistamine took a part on this.
"It was pretty bad, almost everywhere in his body and even his face. He said it's still itchy and but not as burning as before."
"Just what the fuck did just happen? You said he jumped off earlier."
"Oh...well, he did jump. He was sketching in the back yard and walking around the meadow before decided to dive in it. He got a quite bad rash as a result." The assistant looked at Minho sympathetically. "You hung up before I was finished."
That's it. He sure is going insane because of Seunghoon. Could not believe he jumped at the worst conclusion and thought about all bad things, things he would never want to be happened in reality. Minho shuddered at those petty thoughts of his and hoped he did not jinx it.
Seunghoon glared at him once he stepped into the room and quickly turned his back on him. Still fuming.
"Look at what you've done to yourself. How will we go to the beach with all these rashes."
"..."
"Seunghoon-ah." Minho patted his hair but still no respond. "What did I say about television?"
"Seunghoon-ah...are you jealous?"
"Go home now!"
He's finally responding, interesting.
"Of course I will go home. And I'm gonna make a stop at that new bakery near the park and buy berries cakes. I was going to buy some for our beach picnic, but it seems you don't want to go and purposely got the rash."
"I'm not purposely getting it!"
"Then why did you dived in to the meadow? You know you're allergic to meadow grass."
"I was too happy."
"Oh, so you were happy? And here I thought you were angry with me and I'm literally suffering from the never-ending thought of how I can win your heart and making you smile and happy. Seriously, Seunghoon-ah, you should think about how I feel too."
"I was happy my drawing is done and the sun was smilling and there were lots of ladybugs and dragonflies talking to milkweeds in labyrinth. You think I did it deliberately for your attention? I just wanted to join them." Seunghoon pouted and squinted his small eyes so it looked like his eyes disappeared into his fluffy cheeks. And to Minho's pleasure, he just looked so disgustingly adorable with that face. Seunghoon and his lovely world.
"Okay, but next time you want to join them try to take a little time, just a little, to hold back a bit and look at your surroundings to see whether it's dangerous or safe."
"They're not dangerous. It's just a labyrinth garden and they were just all played and talked. That's all." Seunghoon sulked and Minho could not help but bent down and kissed his cheek, which startled Seunghoon.
Minho lowered his body so he was on Seunghoon's eye levels. "Look, you rest well so doctor can discharge you tomorrow and we still can go to the beach at weekend. You miss the theatre and the violinist cormorants don't you?"
Seunghoon nodded his head. "I miss elephants too."
"Hope they miss you too."
"They will. Elephants always remember. Forgive but never forget."
"Was that a lowkey shading directed on me?"
Seunghoon shrugged his shoulder and pulled out the comforter to cover his head.
"You know what, elephants are great. But kangaroos are the manliest animal."
"But elephants are big and heavy they can crush everything. And there's lions and cheetahs with sharp claws and teeth."
"Sure, but they are sissy and elephant is just childish."
"Why?" He peeked from under the comforter.
"Because big cats fight with claw and teeth like schoolgirls and elephant only can stomp on his feet like a kid throwing tantrum while kangaroos fight like a man, using jabs and kicks to knock off their opponents."
Seunghoon, again, gave Minho squinted eyes. "Was that a lowkey shading directed on me?"
Minho laughed as he stood up and ruffled Seunghoon hair. "Rest well, Seunghoon-ah. I can't wait to go to the beach with you."
And Minho left. But not before he gave Seunghoon a light kiss on his forehead, which again, got him startled.
-----
The car engine had not even turned off, but Seunghoon already jumped out from his seat and ran off to the beach. It was already a habit but Minho could not help but being worried. What if he got tripped and hurt himself? What if they had not parked in a solid ground and he fell off and hurt himself? What if there was another car speeding off and struck from behind?
He hated himself for thinking such bad thoughts but sometimes Seunghoon's vehemence was no different with being reckless. Mostly he acted and behaved like most people, but there was a time he would do something on impulse. Beach is one of various things that could trigger his impulsive act. Minho was sure if Seunghoon was to be let alone anywhere close with the sea area, he would be drowned.
And he thought about bad things. Again. A ramifications of his profession he supposed, always assumed. There was this one assumption about Seunghoon though, that he tried to justify, but he was not sure how. He could seek a proof by exploited Seunghoon's latest antics and made a challenge of it, but the last thing he wanted in his gloomy life is scaring Seunghoon away. He needed him. Like a sun, like a water, like a fresh air.
"Song Minho!"
He was brought up to reality by Seunghoon's cheerful loud call, and realised in horror he just left him alone exploring the beach.
"Seunghoon-ah don't wander off too far!"
"Come and get me. Come and get me!" Seunghoon shouted in a sing-song voice and dashed off further into the water, making Minho virtually paled in frustration.
They spent good hours virtually in the water. Seunghoon kept wandered and swam around, all the while gotten occupied with various fauna of shoreline. Occasionally they would dived into deeper area but always got back right away, thanks to Minho awareness, before they got too far into areas of ocean current. When they were at shoreline area Seunghoon would ramble on cormorants and the birds would make some noise out of his surprise ambush.
Sometimes he would sat at the rocky shore, with Minho on his side, attentively watched the shoreline habitat dispersed while listened to the sound of waves crashed into rocks. And there were times when Seunghoon would gazed at the horizon, the line where the sky and the sea met with orange adorned cerulean blue, with a wistful look on his face. And Minho could not help but thought how that solemn expression bathed in the golden of sunset looked so ethereal.
They laid on the warm sand, bathed in warm sunset, waves periodically washed over their body, and hands entangled to each other warmly. Seunghoon turned his head to look at Minho at gave him a warm smile, and Minho reciprocated with a warm squeezed to his hand.
"You know what, sometimes when I look at the sea far far away, with the luminous golden sphere hanging above it, I hear them calling for me to come."
"And who are they?"
"They are the lights, the silver shining, the tranquil, the benevolent. They are everything I see in my dreams. A majestic realm where colourful threads intertwine to one another, creating a harmony of light and melody. It's like the inside of kaleidoscope. Beautiful, wonderful, peaceful. Like a hum of a breeze or a soothing touch of a sunset. I think that's why the ladybugs, the dragonflies, the crickets, the cormorants, the periwinkles all live happily. They live in the place where nobody's judging, nobody's mocking, nobody's indignifying. And there's no cruelty and sorrow. I just want to live happily."
If Minho could, he would take Seunghoon to that place immediately. The place where no one would hurt him or made him sad. But he knew there were no such place in the world, at least not in this reality, and no single soul deserved that kind of freedom of living happily and peacefully. And he was too selfish, to let Seunghoon out of his grasp.
"Are you unhappy now?" He brought their intertwined hands to his chest and placed them over where his heart beats.
"I am the happiest now." He beamed at Minho. Blindingly. Beautifully.
"So why you'd still want to go if you're happy?"
"Because I'm only happy when you're around." Lone tear rolled out from his single eye. "I can't when I'm not with you." He continued in a whisper.
"But I always around. I will always be around for you Lee Seunghoon."
"I..." Seunghoon choked on his word, and Minho pulled Seunghoon's head to the crooked of his neck.
"What am I going to do if I don't have you here, Seunghoon-ah."
"You have them." He answered in a quite voice. "You have her."
Minho tensed at this. He did not sure whether to fume or to laugh. "Things are not always like how they are presented. It's never them nor her. It's you, the only genuine soul I have close in my life. This world is full of pretense and deceit, Seunghoon-ah. They're acquaintances at the moment, but who knows where they will be when I fall from my glory. Where will you be, Seunghoon-ah?"
Seunghoon looked up at him. Concern and longing visible in his eyes. "You will never be unhappy. I always see you in my dreams. With the ladybugs and the dragonflies under the sun." He sat up and looked right into Minho's eyes. "If I'm like those people, would you...would like me too?"
"Who's those people?" Minho too sat up. "And I don't need you to be like anyone else."
"Don't be like this! I know what I am. I know what they think of me. I know I'm not normal and I know you won't be with me forever."
"No, you don't know. You don't know how I always want to hold you close. Forever." He closed their distance and hugged Seunghoon to his embrace. "And don't you dare to call yourself all the petty things those idiots call you. You're not 'not normal'. You're just different. And I love you because you're different, Seunghoon-ah."
He was not sure what kind of love he had to him at first. But true to his words, Minho was attracted to Seunghoon because he was different. He often put evils on the glory and crushed the righteous ones for undeserved sentence. He indirectly destroyed life while Seunghoon is the epitome of pure living being. Always a child in heart, sometimes mischievous and troublesome, but a child is never sinister. And Minho felt ashamed for having such a thought for a pure soul.
"I am tainted, and I don't want to taint your perfect beauty with this dirty existence. But I am tainted, so I'm not a kind soul who is willing to sacrifice and stay away from you."
"But you're a kind soul, Minho. You're the only one being very kind with me and treat me like a real human being for a long time."
Seunghoon told him in a striking honesty. A clear fact he held half of his life. He did not care if Minho is a hero or a villain. He is a good person in his heart, in his life. That's all he knew. In his little world, he only had the lights, the silver shining, the tranquil, the benevolent, and Song Minho. That's why the ladybugs, the dragonflies, the crickets, the cormorants, the periwinkles, all lived happily. And he too would live happily.
----
Seunghoon lied on his side, tiredness and sleepiness engulfed his mind and body. His breathing got deeper and his body became more relaxed. Behind him Minho lied, hugging him close and tight. His right arm encircled Seunghoon on his waist while left arm patted Seunghoon's hair affectionately. Nose buried deep in his soft dark hair lovingly kissed the back of Seunghoon's head, breathed in his scent.
The light-steady-strokes accompanied with a deep-baritone-humming became lullabies, making Seunghoon's head felt even heavier as well as his eyelids. And before he fell into his innocent and peaceful slumber, Seunghoon turned around to face Minho and kissed him on the side of his lips while murmuring a soft-incoherent 'Goodnight'. A bit startled by his sudden advance, Minho smiled and leaned forward to plant a chaste kiss on his nose and down to his lips, mouthing a 'Goodnight, Baby' over Seunghoon's lips. He was asleep already, clinging to Minho with all his innocent soul and love, gave his all to the man he trusts with his pure heart.
Minho stared down at him tenderly, gave him a loving kiss on his head, his eyelids, his nose, both of his cheeks, and lastly a loving kiss on the lips. He is perfect, Seunghoon is the most perfect thing on Minho's tainted life because he represented innocence, peace, and kindness. He is a literal sunshine of happiness and he gave hope for the corrupted heart in the wicked world they lived in. Seunghoon gave Minho a taste of love, and he gave light to Minho's darkened heart. If Minho were bloods, flesh, and bones, then Seunghoon would be the soul, and both of them would be the life.
-----