Reasons 1,092-1,094 U wish U had Me for a Spanish teacher
Ms. Holland a.k.a "Senorita Holland" has "issues". You either HATE her or you love her to death.
Case #1(reason 1,092)
Students are in the computer lab and completely excited that class will be there on this particular day. They sit down and notice about 35'ish questions on the board that they are to answer before the period is over.
The very first question reads "Who was born Magdalena Carmen Frida Kahlo y Calderón?". Intelligent minds would google or Yahoo the full name for the answer or simply use deductive reasoning and conclude that the answer must be "Frida Kahlo".........OH BUT NO! Not the students Ms. Holland teaches!
Student: Ms. Holland, that first question don't make sense.
Ms. Holland: (rolls her eyes and pops a Flinstone vitamin to prepare herself) How so?
Student: Who was born "all of that"....wouldn't we just rewrite all of that??
More Students: Yeah, that don't make sense.
Ms. Holland:(cries inside as she witnesses the side effects of too much BET) Well...if I were to ask you "Who was born Dewayne Michael Carter,jr, what would your answer be?"
Students in unison: LIL WAYNE!!
Ms. Holland: Oh, so you aren't remedial...........Now answer the DAMN question on the board!
Case #2(reason 1,093)
KJ(a female): Can I go to the bathroom?
Ms. Holland: No
KJ: I mean "Puedo ir al bano?"
Ms Holland: Oh!....No
KJ:(gives Ms. Holland the finger)
Ms. Holland: Are you going to fuck me with your monster cock? If not, please don't tease.
Case #3(reason 1,094)
Now for some reason Ms. Holland had to administer a "Mock TAKS Test" for student's benchmarks.
Was she happy about this? Not at all. Did it show? Apparently.
Girl Ms. Holland doesn't even know: Do you not want to be here today?
Ms. Holland: No, why? Do you?
Girl Ms. Holland doesn't even know:(done with her test and is for some reason intrigued with Ms. Holland) So what are you?
Ms. Holland: Fed up.
Girl Ms. Holland doesn't even know: No, I mean, you're obviously not 100% black. Where are you from?
Ms. Holland: A sperm and an egg.
Girl Ms. Holland doesn't even know:(grunts) Why do you have to be so difficult?
Ms. Holland: Are you EASY?
Girl Ms. Holland doesn't even know: You're funny! What is your mother?
Ms. Holland: A librarian.
Girl Ms. Holland doesn't even know: Okay, look at your skin tone....and your arms are hairy like an Indian.....
Ms. Holland: Well....you got me! I AM a mammal.
Girl Ms. Holland doesn't even know: You look like you like white boys.
Ms. Holland: So, if I tilt my head to the left a bit more, do I look like I date black ones now?????
Girl Ms. Holland doesn't even know: HAHAHA! No!
*Ms. Holland has no idea why this girl is bothering her, so Ms. Holland begins to surf Macy's online store.
Girl Ms. Holland doesn't even know: You like that?
Ms. Holland: I haven't decided. The model's body makes the outfit unattractive. I think they should've found a model with a different body type.
Friend of Girl Ms. Holland doesn't even know: Yeah her body is unattractive......she's shaped like you!
Ms. Holland: (looks at girl from head to toe) How old are you?
Friend of Girl Ms. Holland doesn't even know: 16
Ms Holland: But your body says you're over 30 and have popped out at least two kids. Time to stop using the elevator huh?
Case #1(reason 1,092)
Students are in the computer lab and completely excited that class will be there on this particular day. They sit down and notice about 35'ish questions on the board that they are to answer before the period is over.
The very first question reads "Who was born Magdalena Carmen Frida Kahlo y Calderón?". Intelligent minds would google or Yahoo the full name for the answer or simply use deductive reasoning and conclude that the answer must be "Frida Kahlo".........OH BUT NO! Not the students Ms. Holland teaches!
Student: Ms. Holland, that first question don't make sense.
Ms. Holland: (rolls her eyes and pops a Flinstone vitamin to prepare herself) How so?
Student: Who was born "all of that"....wouldn't we just rewrite all of that??
More Students: Yeah, that don't make sense.
Ms. Holland:(cries inside as she witnesses the side effects of too much BET) Well...if I were to ask you "Who was born Dewayne Michael Carter,jr, what would your answer be?"
Students in unison: LIL WAYNE!!
Ms. Holland: Oh, so you aren't remedial...........Now answer the DAMN question on the board!
Case #2(reason 1,093)
KJ(a female): Can I go to the bathroom?
Ms. Holland: No
KJ: I mean "Puedo ir al bano?"
Ms Holland: Oh!....No
KJ:(gives Ms. Holland the finger)
Ms. Holland: Are you going to fuck me with your monster cock? If not, please don't tease.
Case #3(reason 1,094)
Now for some reason Ms. Holland had to administer a "Mock TAKS Test" for student's benchmarks.
Was she happy about this? Not at all. Did it show? Apparently.
Girl Ms. Holland doesn't even know: Do you not want to be here today?
Ms. Holland: No, why? Do you?
Girl Ms. Holland doesn't even know:(done with her test and is for some reason intrigued with Ms. Holland) So what are you?
Ms. Holland: Fed up.
Girl Ms. Holland doesn't even know: No, I mean, you're obviously not 100% black. Where are you from?
Ms. Holland: A sperm and an egg.
Girl Ms. Holland doesn't even know:(grunts) Why do you have to be so difficult?
Ms. Holland: Are you EASY?
Girl Ms. Holland doesn't even know: You're funny! What is your mother?
Ms. Holland: A librarian.
Girl Ms. Holland doesn't even know: Okay, look at your skin tone....and your arms are hairy like an Indian.....
Ms. Holland: Well....you got me! I AM a mammal.
Girl Ms. Holland doesn't even know: You look like you like white boys.
Ms. Holland: So, if I tilt my head to the left a bit more, do I look like I date black ones now?????
Girl Ms. Holland doesn't even know: HAHAHA! No!
*Ms. Holland has no idea why this girl is bothering her, so Ms. Holland begins to surf Macy's online store.
Girl Ms. Holland doesn't even know: You like that?
Ms. Holland: I haven't decided. The model's body makes the outfit unattractive. I think they should've found a model with a different body type.
Friend of Girl Ms. Holland doesn't even know: Yeah her body is unattractive......she's shaped like you!
Ms. Holland: (looks at girl from head to toe) How old are you?
Friend of Girl Ms. Holland doesn't even know: 16
Ms Holland: But your body says you're over 30 and have popped out at least two kids. Time to stop using the elevator huh?