I can't make this stuff up.
This little gem was awaiting me in my inbox this morning. She's not kidding. Maybe later I'll upload a picture of the 4 pages of instructions on the side of the fridge.
New Toaster Maintenance Instructions: [link snipped]
Admin has purchased a new 4-slice toaster. Prior to using the new toaster, please review the use and care as well as the cleaning and maintenance instructions posted on the refrigerator. The 4-slice toaster offers, 1-1/2 inch-wide slots, reheat, defrost, and bagel buttons with LED indicators, and 6-setting browning dial. It also includes two slide-out crumb trays for easy cleaning. NOTE: to avoid possibility of fire, DO NOT leave the toaster unattended during use. A fire may occur if the toaster is covered with or touching flammable materials, such as paper towels or cloth dishcloths. For your safety and enjoyment of the toaster, please make a conscience effort in maintaining it. Remember, always allow the toaster to cool completely and unplug it before cleaning. If you would like to review the complete instructional booklet, please see Admin.
New Toaster Maintenance Instructions: [link snipped]
Admin has purchased a new 4-slice toaster. Prior to using the new toaster, please review the use and care as well as the cleaning and maintenance instructions posted on the refrigerator. The 4-slice toaster offers, 1-1/2 inch-wide slots, reheat, defrost, and bagel buttons with LED indicators, and 6-setting browning dial. It also includes two slide-out crumb trays for easy cleaning. NOTE: to avoid possibility of fire, DO NOT leave the toaster unattended during use. A fire may occur if the toaster is covered with or touching flammable materials, such as paper towels or cloth dishcloths. For your safety and enjoyment of the toaster, please make a conscience effort in maintaining it. Remember, always allow the toaster to cool completely and unplug it before cleaning. If you would like to review the complete instructional booklet, please see Admin.