the ideas in this entry are scattered like my thoughts
The other day during a training session, i was given a piece of paper with a "W" on it, and told to use my imagination to transform this "W" into a drawing that would symbolize something that meant something to me. As soon as i heard the directions, the first image that came to mind was a mountain. I drew hills and clouds, roads and a sun. When it came time to explain my work of art, I started by saying that in everyone's life, you have your mountains, some mountains symbolize the rough times you endured to make it to a certain point, some mountains symbolize the hard times you battled to overcome something, but in all, mountains all have a peak, in which to judge your success. I used the words of a friend by saying "For every mountain climb the trip can be bumpy, but could you imagine how hard the trip would be if the side of the mountain were smooth?" As heads started to nod amongst the group, I started to realize that everyone in that room, no matter how commonly cheerful, had their own mountains. It's why when we go to church it seems that the pastor is talking directly to us, its also why while driving home that mellow r-n-b song seems to be speaking directly to our hearts. Noticing this, I remembered a quote that goes, "You cannot compare your hell to the hell of another."
Lately, through the stress of orientation, work, and just life, I've started to lose track of my life. School starts in three days, and I don't feel prepared. I love being able to rely on God, but at times I wish there were someone here to just lean on for support. In all, I felt like I was in a mental turmoil with myself. Today, during convocation, a prayer was given. The prayer focused around the effects of Katrina and for some reason it seemed that all of the emotions I thought had escaped my mind of Katrina all danced in my mind as I stood on stage in front of 300 freshmen. It was all too much, I felt my eyes and heart well up with emotion. Then all of a sudden, I started thinking about how my own problems were not as tramatic as the ones being said in the prayer. I felt bad for what seemed to me as my own selfishness.
I feel bad for being in this mood, cause I feel like I'm being a downer. I don't like being a negative seed beacuse only negativity can grow from it. And with that, i have decided to try and remain positive in my low times, cause it will make me stronger and better able to deal when and if those times roll around again.
Lately, through the stress of orientation, work, and just life, I've started to lose track of my life. School starts in three days, and I don't feel prepared. I love being able to rely on God, but at times I wish there were someone here to just lean on for support. In all, I felt like I was in a mental turmoil with myself. Today, during convocation, a prayer was given. The prayer focused around the effects of Katrina and for some reason it seemed that all of the emotions I thought had escaped my mind of Katrina all danced in my mind as I stood on stage in front of 300 freshmen. It was all too much, I felt my eyes and heart well up with emotion. Then all of a sudden, I started thinking about how my own problems were not as tramatic as the ones being said in the prayer. I felt bad for what seemed to me as my own selfishness.
I feel bad for being in this mood, cause I feel like I'm being a downer. I don't like being a negative seed beacuse only negativity can grow from it. And with that, i have decided to try and remain positive in my low times, cause it will make me stronger and better able to deal when and if those times roll around again.