(no subject)
So...for those who do or don't know me, I'm the type who prides himself in being the good guy and not doing the "stupid guy" things that other people do that makes them stinky hot trashy hoes. I'm honest, loyal, and shameless...but all in one night I found out that indeed I'm a liar, unloyal, and ashamed.
I've NEVER been one to talk behind someone's back. Its either been, I go directly to the person that I have a problem with or an issue to bring up with, or I'll talk about in confidentiality to another or as the thought comes to mind ONLY then because I'm just on the way to talk to that person about w/ever it was that was on my mind. But this time I actually talked about someone.
I basically made out with this guy about a year ago and blogged about it, then told someone about it as well. I thought nothing of it. Then TODAY, he and I got on the subject of how he doesn't trust ANYONE being that there are certain walls he puts up to protect themselves, which can get quite annoying. And I asked if I have ever given him reason to not trust me being that he was really starting to get to me with this defensive thing, and it went on for a while...then he brought to my attention how I said that he sucked at kissing (in so many words). It was something stupid, but none the less, I said it... unprovoked and without intention of being constructive. I can't BELIEVE I let myself be so lame like that. I talk SO HARD about people like that and how they suck and then I go and do the same thing...I feel unfit to be a friend to anyone. I don't think negatively of people let alone act negatively towards people, there's no reason to. But point being, I said something that didn't need to be said, there was no fruit in doing so. And to think I had the gaul to boldly suggest I've NEVER done that.
I can't even function right now. I haven't felt this bad in a LONG time. But I really should. Even though I know the situation itself is pretty lame, its just the moral behind it...I stuped pretty low. I really care about him even after the recent events of my life (I think I blogged about how I realized I wasn't really bi afterall lol). I really care about him and it hurts me that I've done something so stupid like that to him. Then to top it all off, its made him a little more self conscious than he ALREADY is (which he certainly doesn't EVER need to feel anymore self-conscious). I hate blogging. I always feel like I'm rambling.
I feel like crap :(
I've NEVER been one to talk behind someone's back. Its either been, I go directly to the person that I have a problem with or an issue to bring up with, or I'll talk about in confidentiality to another or as the thought comes to mind ONLY then because I'm just on the way to talk to that person about w/ever it was that was on my mind. But this time I actually talked about someone.
I basically made out with this guy about a year ago and blogged about it, then told someone about it as well. I thought nothing of it. Then TODAY, he and I got on the subject of how he doesn't trust ANYONE being that there are certain walls he puts up to protect themselves, which can get quite annoying. And I asked if I have ever given him reason to not trust me being that he was really starting to get to me with this defensive thing, and it went on for a while...then he brought to my attention how I said that he sucked at kissing (in so many words). It was something stupid, but none the less, I said it... unprovoked and without intention of being constructive. I can't BELIEVE I let myself be so lame like that. I talk SO HARD about people like that and how they suck and then I go and do the same thing...I feel unfit to be a friend to anyone. I don't think negatively of people let alone act negatively towards people, there's no reason to. But point being, I said something that didn't need to be said, there was no fruit in doing so. And to think I had the gaul to boldly suggest I've NEVER done that.
I can't even function right now. I haven't felt this bad in a LONG time. But I really should. Even though I know the situation itself is pretty lame, its just the moral behind it...I stuped pretty low. I really care about him even after the recent events of my life (I think I blogged about how I realized I wasn't really bi afterall lol). I really care about him and it hurts me that I've done something so stupid like that to him. Then to top it all off, its made him a little more self conscious than he ALREADY is (which he certainly doesn't EVER need to feel anymore self-conscious). I hate blogging. I always feel like I'm rambling.
I feel like crap :(