summer cleaning
i no longer live in my room but still have stuff everywhere. in trying to clear out space, i found some printouts from my senior year of highschool. it was all there, in tiny times new roman, the anger and hurt and horrible arguments. there was an unbearable amount of hate in the lines, and it stung a little to reread them. even after all of this time. they're in the trash now, but i'm not entirely sure i'll ever completely forget what a painful time that was.
my tlc mentee, heather, called me yesterday. i hadn't heard from her in almost 2 years and terribly had not put enough effort into initiating contact. during undergrad, i had put a lot of time into trying to build her confidence. following each tlc event i felt that she couldn't have cared less if i had shown up or not. i was always on the verge of quitting the program, until my conscience would guilt me back in. even at the 6th grade end of program picnic, i was sure i had made no impact on her life, that i'd wasted 3 years on a kid that would probably forget my name in a week. she's going into 9th grade in the fall. she's getting A's. she sounds happy. and she wants me to visit her this summer. i guess she didn't forget me, afterall.
i think we all forget how our interactions with others can impact their lives. it's scary to think of the power of an encounter. i need to make more of an effort to make my presence a positive force.
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today's sermon was about reconciliation. there is a lot of reconciling that i never did. there are a lot of relationships that i allowed to get to a ridiculous point beyond repair. according to the the pastor, jesus would not be happy with me. my soul tells me i should get to work on it. my head and heart tell me that it is just asking for trouble.
my tlc mentee, heather, called me yesterday. i hadn't heard from her in almost 2 years and terribly had not put enough effort into initiating contact. during undergrad, i had put a lot of time into trying to build her confidence. following each tlc event i felt that she couldn't have cared less if i had shown up or not. i was always on the verge of quitting the program, until my conscience would guilt me back in. even at the 6th grade end of program picnic, i was sure i had made no impact on her life, that i'd wasted 3 years on a kid that would probably forget my name in a week. she's going into 9th grade in the fall. she's getting A's. she sounds happy. and she wants me to visit her this summer. i guess she didn't forget me, afterall.
i think we all forget how our interactions with others can impact their lives. it's scary to think of the power of an encounter. i need to make more of an effort to make my presence a positive force.
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today's sermon was about reconciliation. there is a lot of reconciling that i never did. there are a lot of relationships that i allowed to get to a ridiculous point beyond repair. according to the the pastor, jesus would not be happy with me. my soul tells me i should get to work on it. my head and heart tell me that it is just asking for trouble.