Blue Balls
Title: Blue Balls
Author: chocca2
Characters/Pairing: Sam, Dean
Genre: Gen, humor
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 545
Warnings: Naughty language
Disclaimers: Ha, Me? Own the Winchesters? Only in my dreams *wink*
Summary: Things go balls-up at a zoo.
A/N: Birthday fic for the magnificent pdragon76 \o/ She promoted this fic from an IM lol Seriously, I’m not crazy! *hands back, dragon’s crackpipe, hangs head in shame* Okay, maybe a lil lol
Dragons, babe, you know how much you mean to me; hope you have a wonderful birthday! I ♥ you BIG! =)
Beta’d by the sweet and sparkly rinkle *blows kisses* All other faults are my own =)
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Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings. ~ Evan Esar
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Pain is part and parcel of a hunter’s life. An unavoidable. A guarantee. They live, eat and breathe it everyday. Sure, there’d be different degrees and levels involved with the different situations, but it was always there.
When it came to physical pain the Winchesters had experienced their fair share. Dean had lost count of the number of cringe-worthy injuries he’d accumulated over the years, pre and post hell. Who needs tattoos when you have every evil thing out there gunning to decorate your body with permanent scars?
As for hell? A different type of pain altogether.
Since coming back, a new body meant a new slate and destiny with a new list of injuries and ink gun at the ready.
So it would be fair to say that Dean’s threshold for pain was higher than your average human. Patching each other up was a regular event. He’d grit his teeth, suck it up and hope to pass out on many occasions. A good swig of whiskey always helped. This technique was practised for a number of mishaps: bullets wounds, dislocations, broken bones, Sam’s whining and much more.
On a fine Sunday afternoon in California, Dean’s pain threshold was put to its limits. They’d been investigating a case of ‘strange happenings’ at a Zoo, when the ‘incident’ happened.
It involved a spider monkey, a metal cage and Dean’s testicles.
Dean learnt a few things that day. One was that you should never ignore the ‘do not step beyond this line’ warning in a Zoo. Another was that if you go commando in a suit, it is possible for a monkey to grab your junk and attempt to pull them through the pea-size gap of a metal cage. Which is not possible. Something else he’d learnt was that monkeys have nails. Long, sharp, needle-like fuckers that dig deep. And the last thing he’d learnt was that he could scream like a fucking girl. He also cried like a girl, sobbing until he couldn’t breathe. He saw flashes of light through double vision and was pretty sure he saw stars too. Felt his ballsack shift, felt the pressure build to a point he didn’t think was humanly possible.
“Jesus fucking Christ, Sam! Kill it!” Those were the last words he remembered yelling out loud. The rest was all a mess of screams and mumbled curses and pain.
Next thing he knew he was on his knees curled into a ball, a hand protectively over his extremely sore, extremely sensitive jewels.
“Breathe through it, man.” Sam hovered and kept his distance. He was a man; he knew the agony, the pain, no words needed. You had balls, you just knew. This would be ammunition for Sam, possibly for a whole fucking year, but it was no laughing matter while he was still suffering. Dean knew this would give him nightmares for a long time to come.
“You think you can stand, dude?” The question went unanswered. Sam grabbed one of Dean’s arms and heaved him up.
It was times like this when you didn’t give a flying fuck who saw, you did what you had to do. Dean did exactly that, once he’d got a handle on his breathing, he unbuckled his belt, lifted the fabric of his pants enough to peek at the damage.
He took one look and passed out.