Fic - Snowmen - Dean/Cas - PG13 - Part 5
Title: Snowmen
Author: choc_freckles
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairings: Dean/Castiel
Rating: PG-13 for language
Word Count: WIP
Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me. I am making no profit from this fanfiction.
Warnings: None, really, but if you haven't seen up through 8.10, then my author's notes won't make any sense.
Summary: Dean gets a mysterious illness after he and Sam exorcise some peculiar demons
Author's Notes Right, so this is clearly very, very, very AU, since a) Bobby is there, 2) Cas mentioned "I need you, buddy" from purgatory and c) the whole thing with Samandriel in the episode about which I am so traumatized I won't even mention (*cough* 8.10 *cough*) So clearly I am indiscriminately ignoring all the stuff that's happened in season 7 and season 8 that I don't like.
Don't even look at me. I do what I want. That's why it's called fiction, bitches.
As usual, unbeta'd, so if you find any grammar errors or have a solution for any awkwardly phrased stuff, let me know.
Part one
Part two
Part three
Part four
Dean swallowed thickly as he contemplated what Cas had just said to him. "I need you, too." - an echo of what Dean had said in purgatory. As much as Dean saw himself as a caretaker of others, the thought that anyone really truly needed him left him feeling... what? He couldn’t quite place his finger on the emotion - emotions - swirling through him.
No one in his life had really needed him, not in the purest sense of the word, other than Benny. And even that had been more like a bargain, an even exchange. They'd needed each other to escape purgatory and had - in reality - used each other. His friendship with the vampire wasn't any less important because of that, it was more that they'd seen in each other a mutual solution to a problem, and turned out to be blood brothers in more than one sense of the word.
Sam had made it abundantly clear on many an occasion that he didn't need Dean - not to take care of him at any rate. Dean's father certainly hadn't needed Dean either. Lisa and Ben had let Dean in, but he'd needed them, at least for a little while. And his need for them far outweighed any need they had of him.
There was no way that Cas could need him. No way. What on earth could Cas possibly need him for? They'd stopped the apocalypse, he was done being a servant of heaven, and so it couldn't possibly be that.
For that matter, what had Dean meant when he'd said he needed Cas? Seeing him huddled by the side of the river in purgatory, covered from head to toe in grime, a week's worth of beard growth on his face, all Dean remembered feeling was an overwhelming sense of relief. Relief and something else, something he couldn't quite identify, that swooped through his gut. Hugging the angel had intensified that swooping feeling, much as it had just now when Cas had said he needed Dean too.
Why did Dean need Cas? Cas had become this weird, integral part of his existence. Cas was gone, away from them almost as much as when he was with them, but he'd managed to become another piece of Dean's life. When Cas wasn't there, Dean didn't quite feel right, as if he was teetering around on a two-legged stool missing that all-important third leg.
When Cas wasn't there, things felt off somehow, and secretly Dean hated it. He would find himself straining to hear the fluttering of wings that indicated Cas's arrival - the spark of electricity in the air that signaled his appearance. Was that what Cas had meant? That he too, felt more himself, more sure around Dean? Dean dismissed this thought almost as soon as he had it, because let's be real, Angel of the friggin' Lord here. Cas didn't - couldn’t - feel that way. Angels just... didn't.
Unbidden, Alfie's - Samandriel’s - words echoed in his mind. "Too much heart was always Castiel's problem." It wasn't that Cas had softened so much as he'd let Dean in. Had Cas ever done that before? Ever in his entire existence? Dean thought that maybe he hadn't, given the wide wonder he thought he saw in Cas's eyes when Cas had said he'd needed Dean.
Dean sighed, a long drawn out exhalation that only helped to relieve his crowded mind just a little. As if he didn't have enough on his mind. Turning into a snowman was bad enough, becoming gir snowman? Yeah, not cool.
The entire time Dean was thinking about this, Cas was quietly lying next to him, for the first time in probabl eve respecting Dean's personal space - as much as one could while sharing a freakin bed. Again, how was this his life?
Dean rolled over on his side so he was facing the angel, who was on his back, staring at the ceiling. "Do you think the counter curse will work?" Dean asked, hoping to avoid their previous topic as much as possible.
Cas hesitated before responding. Then, "How would you like me to answer? With the truth, or with some empty platitude?"
Dean snorted in laughter. Trust Cas to be honest no matter what the situation. "Pick something in between."
Dean felt rather than heard Cas sigh, knowing without looking that the angel was rolling his eyes.
"I am sure that if it doesn't work, Bobby and Sam will come up with something that does." A beat of silence. "But you will be 'good as new' before you know it." Dean could hear the quotes even if Cas didn't actually use any motion to demonstrate them.
"Dude, you are a terrible, terrible liar," Dean said, feeling marginally better despite the less than comforting response from Cas.
Cas turned his head to look at Dean, the smallest of smiles on his lips. "There are much worse things to be bad at than lying."
And, well. Point. Dean just grinned and tried to stretch out his arms. The IV in his arm hampered the movement, and he cursed under his breath. His impatience about being stuck in bed was growing by leaps and bounds. Cas raised an eyebrow at Dean, but chose not to say anything about Dean’s discomfort. Instead, he changed the topic.
"Once the curse is lifted, will you stay with Bobby while you recover?"
Dean wasn't sure what they would do next. They did not currently have much in the way of pressing issues to deal with. They'd been stumbling from one random case to the next, making arbitrary assaults on the supernatural.
"Dunno. Not like there's anything out there demanding our attention or anything."
Cas hummed in response, acknowledgement rather than agreement.
"What about you?" Dean asked, not really sure he wanted to know the answer.
"I am in much the same situation," Cas answered. He fiddled with the seam of the quilt. "At loose ends."
And that was it - the perfect description of where they all were at the moment, or at least, where Dean felt they were. Nothing was driving them in any particular direction. There were just a variety of open roads before them and absolutely no clue where they might lead.
"What would you want to do next, given the choice?" Cas asked.
There was a question Dean had never, ever had to answer. The question - unexpected, especially from Cas - opened a floodgate of thoughts and ideas, none of which Dean was even vaguely familiar with. Where the hell did any of them even come from?
"I don't know," Dean said. He sifted through some of the ideas and realized that while they ranged from settling down to a quiet, apple pie life to continuing to hunt down every single demon and supernatural creature in existence, all of them &ndash every last one ndash; included Cas.
And wasn't that interesting?
Part six