I hate you for who you are
Titel: I hate you for who you are [2/3]
Pairing: Jaeseop & Hoonmin
Rating: PG- 15
Genre: mentions of sex, Drama, slight!Angst, Romance
Summary: Some people have to lose almost everything at first, before they realize that what they want is already right infront of them
It was completely silent in the room, only the soft rain patter against the window pane was heard. Lightnings chased each other across the dark night sky and lit up Jaeseop's bedroom again and again, just for a few moments.
Thoughtfully, Jaeseop sat on his bed, had his legs angled under the blanket, while his head rested on his arms and he stared at the sleeping form beside him.
Hoon sighed quietly in his sleep, when a rumble of thunder was heard near the house and Jaeseop turned to the window, watched at the heavy rain drops and how they slowly but surely flowed down his window.
What had he done?
Why on earth had he let himself go just like that!?
Guilt plagued him that he had been unable to resist Hoon. But after their first kiss, Jaeseop had thrown all inhibitions, doubts and concerns aside, had let himself go completely, and regretted it now.
"Damn..." Jaeseop hissed furiously and buried his head between his arms.
Yes... they had slept with each other!
Yes... it was a mistake!
And YES! He liked it a lot!
"Jaeseop..." startled, Jaeseop looked up, as Hoon muttered his name in his sleep and the blanket slipped from his shoulder, revealed a large and highly visible hickey, which would be plainly visible even in a few days, right below his clavicle.
Carefully, Jaeseop streched out a hand and gently touched the spot on Hoon's body, felt instantly a pleasant tingling in his fingertips, which let him flinch.
"Jaeseop...?" Hoon blinked sleepy up at the latter, when a particularly loud and heavy thunder roused him from sleep. "Can't you sleep?"
"I'm sorry." Jaeseop smiled forced, hoped that it wasn't to conspicuous in the darkness. "I didn't want to wake you."
"It's okay..." Hoon smiled and pulled the covers higher up again, cuddled up with a happy smile on Jaeseop's side, when the latter carefully laid down beside him and pulled him into his arms. "Does- does anything hurt?"
Hoon shook his head, drowsy, and enjoyed the pleasant feeling of warmth and security thanks to Jaeseop's embrace. "Everything's alright..."
Jaeseop bit down his lower lip and his stomach cramped, as he felt that Hoon wrapped his arms around him and fell asleep in his arms again.
Although his initial idea was the same, he was still plagued by doubt and guilt that he had gone too far and that he had forced Hoon to something the latter doesn't really wanted.
~
When Hoon awoke the next morning, the space next to him was empty. Bewildered, he looked around in the room, but couldn't find the other male. "Jaeseop...?"
Carefully, he got up, but winced painfully just one moment later. "Ooh... heaven hell..." he hissed quietly and rolled onto his stomach, took a few deep breaths and was glad that the pain subsided gradually.
AJ wasn't really gently with him last night and he had known that the next day wouldn't be funny, but he hadn't expected such an enormous pain.
It lasted more than ten minutes before Hoon could move again and stared indecisive at the door. Since when was it that far away?
"Okay... maybe when I do it very slow and carefully..." he muttered and rolled on his other side, tried slowly to sit up. "Ow..." he grimaced, when he finally managed to sit upright.
But now there was the next hurdle and it was called: getting up and walking. Hoon pushed himself off of the mattress and came unsteadily to his feet, took a moment before he had found his balance.
Carefully, he made a step forward, but as soon as he shifted his weight onto one foot, his knees quitted their duty and he fell backwards onto his bed, panted. "Damn it... god, that hurts..."
It took another half an hour before Hoon made his way, panting and limping, into the kitchen, where he collapsed at the kitchen table.
"Are you okay?" Kevin asked, startled, as Hoon arrived pale and gasping in the kitchen, fell exhausted at the table only to wince with a pained whimper.
"Yeah... I'm fine..." the latter gasped, while Kevin smiled briefly. "Do you know where Jaeseop is?"
"As far as I know is he shopping with Eli and Soohyun-hyung." Kevin said back, placed a dish and a cup of tea in front of him. "Did you... Did you speak with him? I mean Jaeseop and you..."
"Not really..." embarrassed, Hoon avoided his gaze to Kevin and blushed from ear to ear. "We uh... we slept together..."
"WHAT?" It took a moment before Kevin was able to speak again. He had at first thought that he had heard wrong and was choking on his tea the next moment. "The-oh... okay..." a cheeky grin appeared on Kevin's face." I'll just guess into the blue now and say: Jaeseop didn't have been very gently."
"What do you think, hu?" Hoon asked grumbling, but couldn't suppress a grin. "Do you think I hobble out of boredom here through the dorm?"
"No... I'm sorry." Kevin chuckled, shook his head and ransacked through one of the cupboards and the icebox, handed the other a towel, a cooling pack, and a pain pill. "That should help!"
"Thanks..." Hoon smiled and took to the painkiller and even managed, albeit with Kevin's help, to sit down on the towel with the cold pack include.
"But you haven't spoken?" Kevin asked, after he had recovered from his second fit of laughter- Hoon had sometimes simply made such funny faces as he had tried to slowly sat down.
"No..." sighing, the latter drooped his shoulders. "I mean, I know about his problem with me, but as long as he doesn't want to talk with me..."
"Stubborn." Kevin shook his head, was quietly snoring again. "How well that we have barely schedule today." "Stop laughing!" Hoon chuckled when he met Kevin's view. "Except that we have this photoshoot later..."
"But until then, the pain should subside." Kevin grinned, hide himself carefully a little bit under the table, you never know. "And try-"
"We are back!" came suddenly Soohyun's voice from the front door, cut Kevin mid-sentence and his face immediately brightened up.
"Kitchen!" he shouted into the hallway and barely a moment later Soohyun, Eli and AJ appeared, all wearing full grocery bags on both hands in the kitchen. "Have you bought the whole shops, or are we expecting more guests?" Kevin asked when he saw the amount of food, but jumped at the same time and helped the others to sort them in.
"We couldn't decide what to buy, so we bought just everything that we have something for everyone." Eli smiled and stepped next to Kevin and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek.
"Awesome!" Kevin grinned happily and inspect each bag individually, before he helped Soohyun again and gave him the groceries.
Hoon glanced carefully at Jaeseop, but the rapper avoided his gaze vehemently and Hoon let hung his shoulders, sighed, and began saddened to eat his breakfast.
AJ sighed inwardly as he saw the sad look from him. He wished he could go to him, pull him into his arms and never let go again, but no! He had already made a mistake last night and had become weak, it would certainly not happen again.
"I'm in my room, if anything should be!" Jaeseop muttered finally to Soohyun, turned on his heel and left the kitchen.
Once in his room, Jaeseop threw himself sighing on his bed and pulled his headphones over his ears. Why? Why did he have to fall in love with Hoon?
Not that it was a bad thing, because as far as he could tell, Hoon also harbored feelings for him, but he wasn't completely sure about it, and no! It just wouldn't work!
Hoon and he knew each other since immemorial time and have always been good friends. To confess him now that he loved him could possibly destroy all the years of their friendship, and could also have a bad impact to the rest of their group.
Of course, it could be completely different, like you could see at Soohyun and Kiseop, Eli and Kevin, but Jaeseop wouldn't take the risk. And after last night, would it be strange enough for them to behave normally, since they had come so close to each other.
"I'm such a fool..." he cursed under his breath and closed his eyes, tried to hide list everything and everyone around him.
Jaeseop hadn't realized that he had fallen asleep and therefore almost frightened to death, when Kiseop suddenly pulled the headphones from his ears.
"What the-" Jaeseop sat angrily up, while Kiseop just slumped next to him on the bed. "What do you want?"
"Calm down, Jaeseop!" Kiseop laughed, shook his head and gave the latter his headphones back, looked at him, as he sat up. "I just want to give you some company."
"Mmhm..." sighing, Jaeseop let the headphones fall into his lap and leaned his head against the shoulder of the other, closed his eyes in resignation.
"You are really an idiot!" Kiseop grinned, when he heard the groaning of Jaeseop. "And yet not a very gently one. Our poor Hoon can hardly walk!"
"Kiseop-ah, that helps me not in the least." Jaeseop muttered and his guilty feelings grew again. "And yes... thank you... I know I'm an idiot!"
They lapsed into silence, while Kiseop patted Jaeseop soothingly on the back.
"Do you regret it that you have slept with him?" the elder asked cautiously and leaned his head against Jaeseop's.
"Yes... No... actually I don't know..." Jaeseop stammered and clenched his fists, thought for a moment. "But... I regret it! There was no mutual agreement, he didn't really wanted it and I urged Hoon and forced my will on him."
"And therefore you are ignoring him now?" surprised, Kiseop lifted his head and looked perplexed at Jaeseop. "You can't just fuck and then ignore him! That hurt him more than what you did with him before!"
"But... I've almost raped him... how- how shall I then- but I can't just pretend as if nothing had happened." Jaeseop was looking sullen and let himself fall sideways on his bed.
"Thou shalt not do so as if nothing had happened. Idiot!" Kiseop shook his head again. "You should talk to him and tell him that you love him, want to be together with him and just everything that goes with it."
"Hyuuu ~ ng..." with a pained whimper, Jaeseop buried his face in his pillow, while Kiseop watched him amused.
"And hey!" grinning, he poked Jaeseop in the ribs. "When you're a real couple, it's consensual sex and believe me, you guys will love it... I mean, just imagine how those beautiful lips suck on your cock, or the feeling of his legs wrapped around your hips and how he, over and over again- ah!- moans your name!"
Laughing, Kiseop jumped off of the bed and rushed towards door, when Jaeseop suddenly sat up and struck him with a pillow, hurled it after him.
"That! Is! Not! Helpful!" he hissed with a red face and reached for a second pillow to throw it at Kiseop, who was still laughing at the door.
"Oh it was! In order to see you blush this way!" the older laughed and caught the incoming cushion gallantly, tried to calm down. "But honestly... You really have to talk with Hoon!"
Kiseops cheeky grin turned into a gentle smile. "You love him and he loves you. You just have to express yourself and I'm sure the world looks a lot better then!"
AJ nodded, sighing. "Yes... I'll talk to him." he said, glancing at the clock. To his own dismay, it was already late afternoon and in an hour someone would pick them up for their photo shoot on the banks of the Han River. Then style change, photos, perhaps a short interview and with good luck they could have dinner together, without their manager or one of the stuff member. Ample time to think of something suitable.
"Make sure that you're done, when we are picked up!" Kiseop said and left the room, closed the door silently behind him.
"I'm already done..." Jaeseop muttered and flopped back on the bed. Talk with Hoon... that was easier said than done. After all, he wanted to make him any false hopes, he only wanted to apologize for last night and that he simply wasn't master of his senses.
But as easy as Jaeseop had imagined the whole thing, it wasn't. Again and again, he looked at Hoon during the photo shoot, who had apparently actually immense pain and was looking for a suitable moment to tell him that he wanted to talk with him, but for some reason now seemed Hoon to ignore him. And oddly were Dongho and Kevin constantly around him and distracted Hoon as far as they could that he wasn't thinking about Jaeseop the whole time.
Again and again, AJ tried his luck to waylay Hoon in a lone moment, but again and again Kevin, Dongho and also Eli appeared as if from nowhere, participated Hoon in fitting and led him gradually away from him.
"Jaeseop what-" but Hoon was cut mid-sentence, as AJ suddenly grabbed him by the wrist, when they returned back to the dorm in the evening, and dragged him directly to his room he actually shared with Kevin.
"Jaeseop, you- you're hurting me! What in the world is-" Hoon registered barely that AJ closed the bedroom door with a strong kick, and grabbed Hoon simultaneously by the collar of his jacket, pulled him into his embrace and kissed him deep.
Hoon immediately threw his arms around AJ's neck and pressed himself at the other's body, could feel how he was nibbling on his lower lip and parted his lips for him. He moaned quietly when Jaesoep slid his tongue into his mouth, gave him an open mouthed kiss.
AJ groaned hollowly in their kiss, when Hoon finally started to relax and respond, met his own, dominant tongue with his, slid a leg between his legs and rubbed teasingly at his growing excitement.
"Bed..." Jaeseop whispered, and tore himself away from the younger man and shoved him into the direction of the bed, pushed him down on the bed.
Hoon gasped as he landed on the bed with AJ above him in the next moment, who captured his lips in a greedy kiss again.
But it took only a few more moments before Jaeseop gasped a "No!" and broke away from Hoon, slid to the end of the bed and looked with wide eyes at the younger. "I... Sorry, I can't do that!"
An with these words, AJ jumped off the bed and rushed out of the room.
"JAESEOP! Wait!" Hoon cried and wanted to ran after AJ, when he heard the slamming of the main door. "Oh great..."
Sighing, he sank back in the pillows and stared at the ceiling, felt suddenly empty and lost. What a nice evening...
"Hoon?" Kevin's voice at the open door tore him from his thoughts.
"Mmhm?"
"You okay?" Kevin appeared in Hoon's view and looked with concern at him, sat down beside him on the bed.
Hoon gave no answer, but turned on his side and at Kevin, sobbed quietly. "Oh Hoon..." Kevin sighed and wrapped his arms around the weeping Hoon, leaned against him and tried to comfort him a little.
"W- Why? Wh- What di- did I do wr- wrong?!" sobbing, Hoon clung on Kevin and hid his face at his side.
"Nothing at all." Kevin smiled sympathetically and patted the small of his back. "You really haven't done anything wrong!"
"Kevin?" said man looked up questioningly, when he heard Eli's voice at the door and wasn't surprised to see the worried faces of Soohyun, Kiseop and Dongho.
Hoon cried and sobbed so heartbreaking that Kevin and Kiseop had difficulty not to also cry.
"That's not fair..." Kevin heard Kiseop whisper, his voice cracking, before he disappeared in the living room again.
Questioningly, Kevin looked up as he felt someone behind him and looked into the fondly smiling face of Eli, felt how he stroked over his cheek. "Come on, I'll do it." he whispered and removed Kevin's hands from Hoon.
Only reluctantly, Kevin let go of Hoon and shuffled out of the room, had, without realizing it, even started to cry and leaned, sighing, against the wall in the hallway.
"I'll talk with Jaeseop now!" Soohyun grumbled, stormed past Kevin and left the dorm.
Thus, the evening was ruined. Dongho had wordlessly packed his things and was unceremoniously gone to Sulhu, Ghun and the others, while Kevin and Kiseop were in the living room and flipped dull through the TV shows, was Eli still with Hoon and tried to comfort him, which him only sparse succeeded.
"Seems like... he has calmed down..." Kiseop said softly, after which Kevin looked quizzically at him. "Hoon isn't crying anymore..."
"I really hope that he's alright." Kevin said and walked quietly toward his room that he actually was sharing with AJ.
And indeed. When Kevin opened the door, Eli was sitting straight at the wall and ran his fingers constantly through the hair of a sleeping Hoon, who was lying with his head on Eli's lap.
"He has cried himself into sleep..." Eli sighed, when he saw the questioning look on Kevin's face. "And I just don't understand Jaeseop... why does he do that to him?"
"I don't know..." Kevin whispered and carefully sat down on the bed, next to Eli and stroked over Hoon's cheek. "I hope Soohyun- hyung washes Jaeseop properly the head!"
tbc...
previous/// next
Pairing: Jaeseop & Hoonmin
Rating: PG- 15
Genre: mentions of sex, Drama, slight!Angst, Romance
Summary: Some people have to lose almost everything at first, before they realize that what they want is already right infront of them
It was completely silent in the room, only the soft rain patter against the window pane was heard. Lightnings chased each other across the dark night sky and lit up Jaeseop's bedroom again and again, just for a few moments.
Thoughtfully, Jaeseop sat on his bed, had his legs angled under the blanket, while his head rested on his arms and he stared at the sleeping form beside him.
Hoon sighed quietly in his sleep, when a rumble of thunder was heard near the house and Jaeseop turned to the window, watched at the heavy rain drops and how they slowly but surely flowed down his window.
What had he done?
Why on earth had he let himself go just like that!?
Guilt plagued him that he had been unable to resist Hoon. But after their first kiss, Jaeseop had thrown all inhibitions, doubts and concerns aside, had let himself go completely, and regretted it now.
"Damn..." Jaeseop hissed furiously and buried his head between his arms.
Yes... they had slept with each other!
Yes... it was a mistake!
And YES! He liked it a lot!
"Jaeseop..." startled, Jaeseop looked up, as Hoon muttered his name in his sleep and the blanket slipped from his shoulder, revealed a large and highly visible hickey, which would be plainly visible even in a few days, right below his clavicle.
Carefully, Jaeseop streched out a hand and gently touched the spot on Hoon's body, felt instantly a pleasant tingling in his fingertips, which let him flinch.
"Jaeseop...?" Hoon blinked sleepy up at the latter, when a particularly loud and heavy thunder roused him from sleep. "Can't you sleep?"
"I'm sorry." Jaeseop smiled forced, hoped that it wasn't to conspicuous in the darkness. "I didn't want to wake you."
"It's okay..." Hoon smiled and pulled the covers higher up again, cuddled up with a happy smile on Jaeseop's side, when the latter carefully laid down beside him and pulled him into his arms. "Does- does anything hurt?"
Hoon shook his head, drowsy, and enjoyed the pleasant feeling of warmth and security thanks to Jaeseop's embrace. "Everything's alright..."
Jaeseop bit down his lower lip and his stomach cramped, as he felt that Hoon wrapped his arms around him and fell asleep in his arms again.
Although his initial idea was the same, he was still plagued by doubt and guilt that he had gone too far and that he had forced Hoon to something the latter doesn't really wanted.
~
When Hoon awoke the next morning, the space next to him was empty. Bewildered, he looked around in the room, but couldn't find the other male. "Jaeseop...?"
Carefully, he got up, but winced painfully just one moment later. "Ooh... heaven hell..." he hissed quietly and rolled onto his stomach, took a few deep breaths and was glad that the pain subsided gradually.
AJ wasn't really gently with him last night and he had known that the next day wouldn't be funny, but he hadn't expected such an enormous pain.
It lasted more than ten minutes before Hoon could move again and stared indecisive at the door. Since when was it that far away?
"Okay... maybe when I do it very slow and carefully..." he muttered and rolled on his other side, tried slowly to sit up. "Ow..." he grimaced, when he finally managed to sit upright.
But now there was the next hurdle and it was called: getting up and walking. Hoon pushed himself off of the mattress and came unsteadily to his feet, took a moment before he had found his balance.
Carefully, he made a step forward, but as soon as he shifted his weight onto one foot, his knees quitted their duty and he fell backwards onto his bed, panted. "Damn it... god, that hurts..."
It took another half an hour before Hoon made his way, panting and limping, into the kitchen, where he collapsed at the kitchen table.
"Are you okay?" Kevin asked, startled, as Hoon arrived pale and gasping in the kitchen, fell exhausted at the table only to wince with a pained whimper.
"Yeah... I'm fine..." the latter gasped, while Kevin smiled briefly. "Do you know where Jaeseop is?"
"As far as I know is he shopping with Eli and Soohyun-hyung." Kevin said back, placed a dish and a cup of tea in front of him. "Did you... Did you speak with him? I mean Jaeseop and you..."
"Not really..." embarrassed, Hoon avoided his gaze to Kevin and blushed from ear to ear. "We uh... we slept together..."
"WHAT?" It took a moment before Kevin was able to speak again. He had at first thought that he had heard wrong and was choking on his tea the next moment. "The-oh... okay..." a cheeky grin appeared on Kevin's face." I'll just guess into the blue now and say: Jaeseop didn't have been very gently."
"What do you think, hu?" Hoon asked grumbling, but couldn't suppress a grin. "Do you think I hobble out of boredom here through the dorm?"
"No... I'm sorry." Kevin chuckled, shook his head and ransacked through one of the cupboards and the icebox, handed the other a towel, a cooling pack, and a pain pill. "That should help!"
"Thanks..." Hoon smiled and took to the painkiller and even managed, albeit with Kevin's help, to sit down on the towel with the cold pack include.
"But you haven't spoken?" Kevin asked, after he had recovered from his second fit of laughter- Hoon had sometimes simply made such funny faces as he had tried to slowly sat down.
"No..." sighing, the latter drooped his shoulders. "I mean, I know about his problem with me, but as long as he doesn't want to talk with me..."
"Stubborn." Kevin shook his head, was quietly snoring again. "How well that we have barely schedule today." "Stop laughing!" Hoon chuckled when he met Kevin's view. "Except that we have this photoshoot later..."
"But until then, the pain should subside." Kevin grinned, hide himself carefully a little bit under the table, you never know. "And try-"
"We are back!" came suddenly Soohyun's voice from the front door, cut Kevin mid-sentence and his face immediately brightened up.
"Kitchen!" he shouted into the hallway and barely a moment later Soohyun, Eli and AJ appeared, all wearing full grocery bags on both hands in the kitchen. "Have you bought the whole shops, or are we expecting more guests?" Kevin asked when he saw the amount of food, but jumped at the same time and helped the others to sort them in.
"We couldn't decide what to buy, so we bought just everything that we have something for everyone." Eli smiled and stepped next to Kevin and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek.
"Awesome!" Kevin grinned happily and inspect each bag individually, before he helped Soohyun again and gave him the groceries.
Hoon glanced carefully at Jaeseop, but the rapper avoided his gaze vehemently and Hoon let hung his shoulders, sighed, and began saddened to eat his breakfast.
AJ sighed inwardly as he saw the sad look from him. He wished he could go to him, pull him into his arms and never let go again, but no! He had already made a mistake last night and had become weak, it would certainly not happen again.
"I'm in my room, if anything should be!" Jaeseop muttered finally to Soohyun, turned on his heel and left the kitchen.
Once in his room, Jaeseop threw himself sighing on his bed and pulled his headphones over his ears. Why? Why did he have to fall in love with Hoon?
Not that it was a bad thing, because as far as he could tell, Hoon also harbored feelings for him, but he wasn't completely sure about it, and no! It just wouldn't work!
Hoon and he knew each other since immemorial time and have always been good friends. To confess him now that he loved him could possibly destroy all the years of their friendship, and could also have a bad impact to the rest of their group.
Of course, it could be completely different, like you could see at Soohyun and Kiseop, Eli and Kevin, but Jaeseop wouldn't take the risk. And after last night, would it be strange enough for them to behave normally, since they had come so close to each other.
"I'm such a fool..." he cursed under his breath and closed his eyes, tried to hide list everything and everyone around him.
Jaeseop hadn't realized that he had fallen asleep and therefore almost frightened to death, when Kiseop suddenly pulled the headphones from his ears.
"What the-" Jaeseop sat angrily up, while Kiseop just slumped next to him on the bed. "What do you want?"
"Calm down, Jaeseop!" Kiseop laughed, shook his head and gave the latter his headphones back, looked at him, as he sat up. "I just want to give you some company."
"Mmhm..." sighing, Jaeseop let the headphones fall into his lap and leaned his head against the shoulder of the other, closed his eyes in resignation.
"You are really an idiot!" Kiseop grinned, when he heard the groaning of Jaeseop. "And yet not a very gently one. Our poor Hoon can hardly walk!"
"Kiseop-ah, that helps me not in the least." Jaeseop muttered and his guilty feelings grew again. "And yes... thank you... I know I'm an idiot!"
They lapsed into silence, while Kiseop patted Jaeseop soothingly on the back.
"Do you regret it that you have slept with him?" the elder asked cautiously and leaned his head against Jaeseop's.
"Yes... No... actually I don't know..." Jaeseop stammered and clenched his fists, thought for a moment. "But... I regret it! There was no mutual agreement, he didn't really wanted it and I urged Hoon and forced my will on him."
"And therefore you are ignoring him now?" surprised, Kiseop lifted his head and looked perplexed at Jaeseop. "You can't just fuck and then ignore him! That hurt him more than what you did with him before!"
"But... I've almost raped him... how- how shall I then- but I can't just pretend as if nothing had happened." Jaeseop was looking sullen and let himself fall sideways on his bed.
"Thou shalt not do so as if nothing had happened. Idiot!" Kiseop shook his head again. "You should talk to him and tell him that you love him, want to be together with him and just everything that goes with it."
"Hyuuu ~ ng..." with a pained whimper, Jaeseop buried his face in his pillow, while Kiseop watched him amused.
"And hey!" grinning, he poked Jaeseop in the ribs. "When you're a real couple, it's consensual sex and believe me, you guys will love it... I mean, just imagine how those beautiful lips suck on your cock, or the feeling of his legs wrapped around your hips and how he, over and over again- ah!- moans your name!"
Laughing, Kiseop jumped off of the bed and rushed towards door, when Jaeseop suddenly sat up and struck him with a pillow, hurled it after him.
"That! Is! Not! Helpful!" he hissed with a red face and reached for a second pillow to throw it at Kiseop, who was still laughing at the door.
"Oh it was! In order to see you blush this way!" the older laughed and caught the incoming cushion gallantly, tried to calm down. "But honestly... You really have to talk with Hoon!"
Kiseops cheeky grin turned into a gentle smile. "You love him and he loves you. You just have to express yourself and I'm sure the world looks a lot better then!"
AJ nodded, sighing. "Yes... I'll talk to him." he said, glancing at the clock. To his own dismay, it was already late afternoon and in an hour someone would pick them up for their photo shoot on the banks of the Han River. Then style change, photos, perhaps a short interview and with good luck they could have dinner together, without their manager or one of the stuff member. Ample time to think of something suitable.
"Make sure that you're done, when we are picked up!" Kiseop said and left the room, closed the door silently behind him.
"I'm already done..." Jaeseop muttered and flopped back on the bed. Talk with Hoon... that was easier said than done. After all, he wanted to make him any false hopes, he only wanted to apologize for last night and that he simply wasn't master of his senses.
But as easy as Jaeseop had imagined the whole thing, it wasn't. Again and again, he looked at Hoon during the photo shoot, who had apparently actually immense pain and was looking for a suitable moment to tell him that he wanted to talk with him, but for some reason now seemed Hoon to ignore him. And oddly were Dongho and Kevin constantly around him and distracted Hoon as far as they could that he wasn't thinking about Jaeseop the whole time.
Again and again, AJ tried his luck to waylay Hoon in a lone moment, but again and again Kevin, Dongho and also Eli appeared as if from nowhere, participated Hoon in fitting and led him gradually away from him.
"Jaeseop what-" but Hoon was cut mid-sentence, as AJ suddenly grabbed him by the wrist, when they returned back to the dorm in the evening, and dragged him directly to his room he actually shared with Kevin.
"Jaeseop, you- you're hurting me! What in the world is-" Hoon registered barely that AJ closed the bedroom door with a strong kick, and grabbed Hoon simultaneously by the collar of his jacket, pulled him into his embrace and kissed him deep.
Hoon immediately threw his arms around AJ's neck and pressed himself at the other's body, could feel how he was nibbling on his lower lip and parted his lips for him. He moaned quietly when Jaesoep slid his tongue into his mouth, gave him an open mouthed kiss.
AJ groaned hollowly in their kiss, when Hoon finally started to relax and respond, met his own, dominant tongue with his, slid a leg between his legs and rubbed teasingly at his growing excitement.
"Bed..." Jaeseop whispered, and tore himself away from the younger man and shoved him into the direction of the bed, pushed him down on the bed.
Hoon gasped as he landed on the bed with AJ above him in the next moment, who captured his lips in a greedy kiss again.
But it took only a few more moments before Jaeseop gasped a "No!" and broke away from Hoon, slid to the end of the bed and looked with wide eyes at the younger. "I... Sorry, I can't do that!"
An with these words, AJ jumped off the bed and rushed out of the room.
"JAESEOP! Wait!" Hoon cried and wanted to ran after AJ, when he heard the slamming of the main door. "Oh great..."
Sighing, he sank back in the pillows and stared at the ceiling, felt suddenly empty and lost. What a nice evening...
"Hoon?" Kevin's voice at the open door tore him from his thoughts.
"Mmhm?"
"You okay?" Kevin appeared in Hoon's view and looked with concern at him, sat down beside him on the bed.
Hoon gave no answer, but turned on his side and at Kevin, sobbed quietly. "Oh Hoon..." Kevin sighed and wrapped his arms around the weeping Hoon, leaned against him and tried to comfort him a little.
"W- Why? Wh- What di- did I do wr- wrong?!" sobbing, Hoon clung on Kevin and hid his face at his side.
"Nothing at all." Kevin smiled sympathetically and patted the small of his back. "You really haven't done anything wrong!"
"Kevin?" said man looked up questioningly, when he heard Eli's voice at the door and wasn't surprised to see the worried faces of Soohyun, Kiseop and Dongho.
Hoon cried and sobbed so heartbreaking that Kevin and Kiseop had difficulty not to also cry.
"That's not fair..." Kevin heard Kiseop whisper, his voice cracking, before he disappeared in the living room again.
Questioningly, Kevin looked up as he felt someone behind him and looked into the fondly smiling face of Eli, felt how he stroked over his cheek. "Come on, I'll do it." he whispered and removed Kevin's hands from Hoon.
Only reluctantly, Kevin let go of Hoon and shuffled out of the room, had, without realizing it, even started to cry and leaned, sighing, against the wall in the hallway.
"I'll talk with Jaeseop now!" Soohyun grumbled, stormed past Kevin and left the dorm.
Thus, the evening was ruined. Dongho had wordlessly packed his things and was unceremoniously gone to Sulhu, Ghun and the others, while Kevin and Kiseop were in the living room and flipped dull through the TV shows, was Eli still with Hoon and tried to comfort him, which him only sparse succeeded.
"Seems like... he has calmed down..." Kiseop said softly, after which Kevin looked quizzically at him. "Hoon isn't crying anymore..."
"I really hope that he's alright." Kevin said and walked quietly toward his room that he actually was sharing with AJ.
And indeed. When Kevin opened the door, Eli was sitting straight at the wall and ran his fingers constantly through the hair of a sleeping Hoon, who was lying with his head on Eli's lap.
"He has cried himself into sleep..." Eli sighed, when he saw the questioning look on Kevin's face. "And I just don't understand Jaeseop... why does he do that to him?"
"I don't know..." Kevin whispered and carefully sat down on the bed, next to Eli and stroked over Hoon's cheek. "I hope Soohyun- hyung washes Jaeseop properly the head!"
tbc...
previous/// next