This is a long one
This letter is to all that know me and know Lindsay. There has been quite a bit of “drama” flowing around in the past few days and though I don’t think I need to straighten some things out I’m going to anyway. I don’t know why, but there is something in the back of my head that says it’s the right thing. I don’t know where to start so I guess I’ll start with the smaller problems and go from there.
Jean,
The calls last night, I didn’t make any of them. As stated earlier in your comment section Brad called you the first time. As per him calling your home phone I guess that is my fault. My phone calls the first number in the list unless the default is set to another one, so when Brad punched up your number the phone defaulted to your home number. As for the comments, “I hate you” and “die”, those were actually directed at Brad. I didn’t want him to call you that late because as I understand it you probably had work or class or something that you might have had to be up early for. If you or Joe believe those comments were directed toward Joe than I apologize for that. Joe is a great guy and I like him. He is actually one of the first friends I made when I started college back in the winter of 2000 I think. I wouldn’t want to lose early college friends. Hehe, if you want a good laugh ask him how we passed that computer class. Also the comment that Lindsay left in her comment section about feelings on my part, that isn’t true but I’ll cover that in a bit.
Lindsay,
The letter that I sent you was for you not everyone. The things I said in that letter were things that I’ve had locked inside since the first time I caught you and Kevin cuddling in his bed. True they could have been worded a bit nicer but at the time I was quite depressed and pissed. I’m not going to apologize for my over emotional tendencies, that is one of the things that define me. Though it means that when I’m pissed I get really mean, it also means that when I’m in a good mood anyone around me at the time will benefit. Personally I think it was quite low of you to flat out lie about these “feelings” about Jean that I had. You know very well about those feelings. You know that it was a tiny little crush that completely and totally ending when I embarrassed the hell out of my self Halloween night 2003 ( at least I think it was 2003). You know very well that I didn’t have “feelings” for Jean all throughout our engagement and I think it’s really shitty of you to say that.
As far as the whole cheating thing, yes you did and you know you did. True you didn’t cheat in the conventional way. You didn’t sleep with him or fool around him or perhaps even kiss him on the lips. But you know damn well that that is not the only way to cheat on someone. I remember watching an episode of King of Queens with you. The episode where the one guy was going out on dates with the other woman because he could talk to her and feel comfortable with her more than he could with his wife. I also remember asking you if you think that’s cheating and you said yes. You however did something far worse. You shared your heart with another man. Now, I don’t mean the same way you share your heart with a good friend. You casually dated him and loved him for a month before I dumped you. I know I wasn’t much of a man. I really did deserve to get dumped. As far as ignoring you for the video games, I did that because they were the only things that made me feel good. During that whole time I was extremely depressed. I couldn’t hold down a job, pass math, keep my fiancé happy, or even keep my room clean. The reason I didn’t do anything is because when I get really depressed I don’t do anything, I just sulk around and do nothing. All I needed from you was a hug and for you to tell me that you were going to be behind me no matter what, even if you had to lie. But instead of being there for me you were loving Kevin. That is why I treat you with such hared. I deserved to get dumped and all you had to do was dump me. Instead you carried on with him. I don’t expect him to understand, he is love struck just like I was. As far as you saying that you didn’t start dating until a month after you and I split, that’s bullshit and you know it. You even admitted to me that you made out with him that Sunday after we split. I really don’t care what you did with him or what you are currently doing with him. All I care about is how you carried on without having any consideration for me. I care about how you tell my friends how I’m being an asshole and how I was such a jerk without telling the other side too. I would prefer that you no longer talk about be behind my back. I know I’ve done that as well, but I’m stopping that now and I hope that you do too. I think the best thing for all parties concerned is that we don’t have any contact. I think it’s also best that you not come over here anymore. You have a house with a bedroom that is twice the size of his and he is moving out in a couple weeks so I really don’t think that is asking too much.
Sarah,
I’ve just talked to you and you weren’t too happy about the call to you either. I’m sorry if I ruined your sleep. I didn’t know you had to be up that early. I was just goofing off, and a bit tipsy. I didn’t think it would be that bad but it was so I apologize.
I didn’t want all of this “drama” to occur because of a letter that was meant for one person and not all. This is going to be my last LJ entry as it seems to be more trouble than it’s worth. I would just like to say that I’ve always told the whole story without embellishing. I would like to close the book on this whole thing. I won’t be checking the comments either. Yes I know they’re emailed to me but I’ve already set the junk mail filter to filter them out. If anyone wants to say anything about what I’ve said then please do it to me and not to the internet.
Jean,
The calls last night, I didn’t make any of them. As stated earlier in your comment section Brad called you the first time. As per him calling your home phone I guess that is my fault. My phone calls the first number in the list unless the default is set to another one, so when Brad punched up your number the phone defaulted to your home number. As for the comments, “I hate you” and “die”, those were actually directed at Brad. I didn’t want him to call you that late because as I understand it you probably had work or class or something that you might have had to be up early for. If you or Joe believe those comments were directed toward Joe than I apologize for that. Joe is a great guy and I like him. He is actually one of the first friends I made when I started college back in the winter of 2000 I think. I wouldn’t want to lose early college friends. Hehe, if you want a good laugh ask him how we passed that computer class. Also the comment that Lindsay left in her comment section about feelings on my part, that isn’t true but I’ll cover that in a bit.
Lindsay,
The letter that I sent you was for you not everyone. The things I said in that letter were things that I’ve had locked inside since the first time I caught you and Kevin cuddling in his bed. True they could have been worded a bit nicer but at the time I was quite depressed and pissed. I’m not going to apologize for my over emotional tendencies, that is one of the things that define me. Though it means that when I’m pissed I get really mean, it also means that when I’m in a good mood anyone around me at the time will benefit. Personally I think it was quite low of you to flat out lie about these “feelings” about Jean that I had. You know very well about those feelings. You know that it was a tiny little crush that completely and totally ending when I embarrassed the hell out of my self Halloween night 2003 ( at least I think it was 2003). You know very well that I didn’t have “feelings” for Jean all throughout our engagement and I think it’s really shitty of you to say that.
As far as the whole cheating thing, yes you did and you know you did. True you didn’t cheat in the conventional way. You didn’t sleep with him or fool around him or perhaps even kiss him on the lips. But you know damn well that that is not the only way to cheat on someone. I remember watching an episode of King of Queens with you. The episode where the one guy was going out on dates with the other woman because he could talk to her and feel comfortable with her more than he could with his wife. I also remember asking you if you think that’s cheating and you said yes. You however did something far worse. You shared your heart with another man. Now, I don’t mean the same way you share your heart with a good friend. You casually dated him and loved him for a month before I dumped you. I know I wasn’t much of a man. I really did deserve to get dumped. As far as ignoring you for the video games, I did that because they were the only things that made me feel good. During that whole time I was extremely depressed. I couldn’t hold down a job, pass math, keep my fiancé happy, or even keep my room clean. The reason I didn’t do anything is because when I get really depressed I don’t do anything, I just sulk around and do nothing. All I needed from you was a hug and for you to tell me that you were going to be behind me no matter what, even if you had to lie. But instead of being there for me you were loving Kevin. That is why I treat you with such hared. I deserved to get dumped and all you had to do was dump me. Instead you carried on with him. I don’t expect him to understand, he is love struck just like I was. As far as you saying that you didn’t start dating until a month after you and I split, that’s bullshit and you know it. You even admitted to me that you made out with him that Sunday after we split. I really don’t care what you did with him or what you are currently doing with him. All I care about is how you carried on without having any consideration for me. I care about how you tell my friends how I’m being an asshole and how I was such a jerk without telling the other side too. I would prefer that you no longer talk about be behind my back. I know I’ve done that as well, but I’m stopping that now and I hope that you do too. I think the best thing for all parties concerned is that we don’t have any contact. I think it’s also best that you not come over here anymore. You have a house with a bedroom that is twice the size of his and he is moving out in a couple weeks so I really don’t think that is asking too much.
Sarah,
I’ve just talked to you and you weren’t too happy about the call to you either. I’m sorry if I ruined your sleep. I didn’t know you had to be up that early. I was just goofing off, and a bit tipsy. I didn’t think it would be that bad but it was so I apologize.
I didn’t want all of this “drama” to occur because of a letter that was meant for one person and not all. This is going to be my last LJ entry as it seems to be more trouble than it’s worth. I would just like to say that I’ve always told the whole story without embellishing. I would like to close the book on this whole thing. I won’t be checking the comments either. Yes I know they’re emailed to me but I’ve already set the junk mail filter to filter them out. If anyone wants to say anything about what I’ve said then please do it to me and not to the internet.