Why Can't I Think?

[chloroformdream]

So...
I'm in love.

But I need more.
I feel selfish.
Infact, I know I am.
This was never what I expected.
I've fucked up in my life.
A lot.
I can't argue or yell or scream at the top of my lungs anymore.
My head hurts.
My arms hurt.
My legs hurt.
I hurt.
And I am hurt when he talks to me the way he does.
But for some reason...
it's not worth leaving.
I know that if I stay, everything will be ok.
And it eventually will be.
I know that we can't go to sleep mad at eachother.
I know he loves me.
I just wish we didn't clash so horribly.
I want to live my life.
But I want to live it with him.
But we can't do that.
I can't live my life sitting everyday.
I need to go out.
Experience things.

I don't know how to talk without saying the wrong thing.

Fuck.
I love him.
I guess it doesn't matter.
None of this matters.