Summary: Chloe muses her relationship with Oliver, and questions whether or not she is ready for a committed relationship with him. Takes place between Sacrifice and Hostage.
Rated: T
Spoilers: Season 9
Word Count: 1,186
Chloe Sullivan was at her apartment above the Talon alone. It had been a relatively easy work day from home, and for once, she actually had some time for herself.
Usually, extra time was a bad thing; she liked to stay as busy as possible these days, anything to prevent herself from stepping back and wondering what on earth she was doing to herself.
Lois was pulling an all-nighter at the Daily Planet with Clark and Oliver was in Star City getting the Kryptonian scar on his chest covered, as well as getting some work done. Chloe’s own Watchtower had been destroyed- she had been spending her work days at the apartment on her laptop. She was closing her laptop now after walking Canary through her patrol.
She contemplated going out to dinner, or maybe even bringing some takeout to her favorite reporters. However, being free from work this early was a rarity, and she ultimately decided to celebrate with a nice quiet meal at home.
Searching the fridge and the pantry, Chloe quickly realized that Lois didn’t do much cooking at the apartment either. Sure, there was plenty of coffee, but there was no food either.
She looked at her only two options- a classic peanut butter and jelly sandwich, or some spaghetti. Since PB&J was not exactly dinner material, she took out a small pot, and filled it with water before putting it on the stove and turning on the heat. She added the necessary ingredients to the water when it came to a boil, and covered the pot so the spaghetti could cool. And then, she waited.
Chloe’s mind drifted to Oliver. She sighed to herself. She had no idea what she was going to do about him. They had started out in a no-strings relationship. She thought that things would be easier, better off that way. At the time, she had been mourning the death of her husband, and he was desperately trying to get over Lois. Both of them were too damaged for a functional relationship.
Work became overbearing, and they were having trouble finding a quiet minute just for themselves. So they went away for the weekend. They chose a little bed and breakfast where they couldn’t be recognized, and used aliases to secure their anonymity.
Then, the worst thing happened- they were discovered by Lois and Clark, the two people who were left in the dark on purpose. Everything was out in the open, and Chloe found herself having to explain over and over again that they were not in a relationship.
Eventually, their getaway from work ended up being a business trip- they had a mystery to solve, and an inn full of people to save. They did their jobs, and packed up their bags to go back home.
Right before they left, they had a moment when they put their past unrequited loves behind them: she with Clark, he with Lois. He told her that he had moved on, that he was over Lois. And that meant that he was ready to pursue a relationship with her.
Of course, Oliver said this all in a round-about sort of way, so Chloe allowed herself to dismiss it. He didn’t bluntly say that he was ready, so she blocked the possibility from her mind, and refocused on her job upon their return.
And then, Oliver was kidnapped by Checkmate during patrol. She thought that her worry had stemmed from not being able to get in contact with anyone from the League, and that was why she became so desperate that she called Clark.
But in retrospect, that wasn’t the case: it was because Oliver had gone off the grid, and he wasn’t just another League member. For once, she could not stay calm and logical- she needed Oliver safe, and needed him safe right that instant.
The relief that she felt when he walked into the Watchtower smiling, it was unlike the usual relief that she felt whenever Clark sped off and came back after she thought that she would never see him again. Holding Oliver- it was as if nothing else mattered. She clung to him desperately, and closing her eyes, lost herself in the warmth of his embrace. Serial numbers were abandoned, Clark’s presence was forgotten.
Eventually, the moment had to end. Clark asked about what happened, and the next thing she knew, she was being kidnapped at Met Gen. When Checkmate’s headquarters suddenly lost power, she couldn’t help but smile a little as Clark sped her back to the Watchtower. Oliver had been listening to her the time she taught him a couple of hacking tricks. And he probably got the necessary passkeys out of Tess, because he didn’t know how to find them himself yet. She knew that even though it was Clark speeding to her rescue, Oliver was her hero.
That night, the sheer possibility of losing each other took control and broke the rules. She found Oliver on the street, and took his hand. She took him to Watchtower, and they made love for the first time. And in the morning, she didn’t give him an ultimatum about how they broke the rules.
He wanted her to open up to him, but she still wasn’t sure if she was ready. Zod almost killed him, and she was by his side the instant that she found out what had happened, but she still didn’t know if she was ready.
She knew that Oliver had fallen in love with her- that was the problem. She had spent her entire life dealing with unrequited love and breakups. She was a pro at burying her feelings, but having someone you care about love you- that was a complete 180. Accepting it would mean completely letting her guard down, feeling. She didn’t know if she could do that. She was too afraid of loss.
She stirred the pot aimlessly as she thought about what Tess Mercer had said to her only days ago. “He’s not going to leave you; with you, he has a purpose. I wish I could have given him that, and it kills me. Because you have everything right in front of you, and you can’t even see it.”
It wasn’t a matter of whether or not he was going to leave- it was a matter of whether or not she was ready to take that chance. She looked at the noodles- they looked like they were ready. Was she?
She remembered the old spaghetti test- if you through a piece of spaghetti on the wall and it sticks, then it’s ready. Maybe if she was ready to take a chance on the spaghetti, then she was ready to take a chance with the real world.
She grabbed a fork, and picked up a couple of strands. She held the hot noodles in her hands as she faced the wall. She closed her eyes, and threw the spaghetti.
Chloe let out a breath, and opened her eyes. The spaghetti had formed the shape of a target, and it stuck to the wall.
It was time.