Today
Today is Thursday. C is supposed to be here sometime today with our moving truck.
This is it. God, I hope this is it.
I went to the house last night and made sure everything was ready. Set up a garbage bag for the inevitable junk, made sure both bathrooms were stocked (I even folded the toilet paper into little triangles like they do in hotels!), turned the heat to a comfortably cool temperature, and left a couple cutesy surprises for C to find.
After work, I'm going to stop at the grocery store and pick up drinks and snacks for our moving crew. I'm not sure of his ETA yet, but I'm guessing its going to be the evening.
I'd meant to drop drinks and stuff off last night, but I got caught up in my thoughts and very nearly missed the stop for the house. Deep thinking for me occasionally leads to tears, so I high-tailed it into the house to compose myself. There have been so many delays that I've been feeling... disappointed. I hate to admit that, but I do. I need to will myself into acceptance, because he would want me to be happily accepting, not tearfully disappointed. So, I hold back tears, smile, and will myself to look happy and pleasing, even though he's not here. I am pleasing him because he wants me here, and doing things that would make him happy, makes me happy.
This is it. God, I hope this is it.
I went to the house last night and made sure everything was ready. Set up a garbage bag for the inevitable junk, made sure both bathrooms were stocked (I even folded the toilet paper into little triangles like they do in hotels!), turned the heat to a comfortably cool temperature, and left a couple cutesy surprises for C to find.
After work, I'm going to stop at the grocery store and pick up drinks and snacks for our moving crew. I'm not sure of his ETA yet, but I'm guessing its going to be the evening.
I'd meant to drop drinks and stuff off last night, but I got caught up in my thoughts and very nearly missed the stop for the house. Deep thinking for me occasionally leads to tears, so I high-tailed it into the house to compose myself. There have been so many delays that I've been feeling... disappointed. I hate to admit that, but I do. I need to will myself into acceptance, because he would want me to be happily accepting, not tearfully disappointed. So, I hold back tears, smile, and will myself to look happy and pleasing, even though he's not here. I am pleasing him because he wants me here, and doing things that would make him happy, makes me happy.