The requisite New Years post
Reflecting on the past year, I've accomplished a lot emotionally. This time last year, I promised myself that I would try harder not to be taken advantage of. I think I've been mostly successful in that. I've raised my standards in terms of relationships, which although still has me single, I'm at least happy enough with myself and my choices thus far that its not too much of a burden on me.
I am working towards my goals. Career-wise, I've completed all my Canadian law school applications, and am just waiting on offers. I also plan to apply to some UK law schools as a back up plan, since law school in the UK is direct-entry from high school. This route would add another six months or so to my schooling if I spent the entire three years there (as the Law Society requires additional courses in Canadian law, naturally). If none of those routes pan out, well, I'll either see if I can get late-acceptance to a BA program, or just keep working. I really want to be in school next September, tho. Although I dropped the Japanese class I was taking in the spring due to distance, I recently completed a Trade-mark Agent Training Course module with the Intellectual Property Institute of Canada. My firm is also paying for me to become an associate member, which is sort of a big deal, as paid memberships are generally reserved for lawyers only. I'll be taking my Trade-mark Agent exam in October, after passing which I'll be a Registered Trade-mark Agent and able to represent clients in Canada, then the United States as well (even as a non-lawyer).
On a more personal level, although I've made an effort to be more social this year, I feel a wall between where I am and where I want to be. I have rejection anxiety which seems to come in waves. I sometimes feel that although I've had my same group of friends, with additions and deletions as necessary, that I'm still a hanger-on. I'm hoping this is just me being needy, so I am going to try and make more of an effort to... fit in, I guess.
In the same vein, I hope that 2008 is the year where I am not single. In fact, that is probably the area of my life that gives me the most anxiety. Really, since Lawney and I broke up, which is now more than a couple years ago, I haven't had a serious partner for more than a few weeks. I keep trying to figure this out, but largely without success. I'm sure I could come up with a whole slew of possible reasons, but I think now that my self-esteem is nearing record highs, that possible partners will be more amenable to an actual relationship with me. As usual, I have several people interested in me, which is an ego boost... But I'm hoping things begin to develop more substantially with one person in particular whom I have developed a deep affection for. On this account, I'm not sure whether the coy, flirty method or the more direct, "I want to date you" method is more appropriate. I wish that the person would just take the lead and give me a sure sign, but I digress.
There are some things I would like to work on more in 2008, tho I wouldn't classify them as resolutions. I think resolving to do something purely because you put up a new calendar is mostly pointless. If I want to do something, or change something, I don't wait for an arbitrary start date - I make a plan and work towards it. No waiting around.
So, my plan is:
- to keep a real, physical journal of my personal thoughts
- to manage money more wisely
- to communicate with my friends more freely (currently I hold back a lot of my thoughts and feelings, and subsequently have trouble expressing myself)
-
I am working towards my goals. Career-wise, I've completed all my Canadian law school applications, and am just waiting on offers. I also plan to apply to some UK law schools as a back up plan, since law school in the UK is direct-entry from high school. This route would add another six months or so to my schooling if I spent the entire three years there (as the Law Society requires additional courses in Canadian law, naturally). If none of those routes pan out, well, I'll either see if I can get late-acceptance to a BA program, or just keep working. I really want to be in school next September, tho. Although I dropped the Japanese class I was taking in the spring due to distance, I recently completed a Trade-mark Agent Training Course module with the Intellectual Property Institute of Canada. My firm is also paying for me to become an associate member, which is sort of a big deal, as paid memberships are generally reserved for lawyers only. I'll be taking my Trade-mark Agent exam in October, after passing which I'll be a Registered Trade-mark Agent and able to represent clients in Canada, then the United States as well (even as a non-lawyer).
On a more personal level, although I've made an effort to be more social this year, I feel a wall between where I am and where I want to be. I have rejection anxiety which seems to come in waves. I sometimes feel that although I've had my same group of friends, with additions and deletions as necessary, that I'm still a hanger-on. I'm hoping this is just me being needy, so I am going to try and make more of an effort to... fit in, I guess.
In the same vein, I hope that 2008 is the year where I am not single. In fact, that is probably the area of my life that gives me the most anxiety. Really, since Lawney and I broke up, which is now more than a couple years ago, I haven't had a serious partner for more than a few weeks. I keep trying to figure this out, but largely without success. I'm sure I could come up with a whole slew of possible reasons, but I think now that my self-esteem is nearing record highs, that possible partners will be more amenable to an actual relationship with me. As usual, I have several people interested in me, which is an ego boost... But I'm hoping things begin to develop more substantially with one person in particular whom I have developed a deep affection for. On this account, I'm not sure whether the coy, flirty method or the more direct, "I want to date you" method is more appropriate. I wish that the person would just take the lead and give me a sure sign, but I digress.
There are some things I would like to work on more in 2008, tho I wouldn't classify them as resolutions. I think resolving to do something purely because you put up a new calendar is mostly pointless. If I want to do something, or change something, I don't wait for an arbitrary start date - I make a plan and work towards it. No waiting around.
So, my plan is:
- to keep a real, physical journal of my personal thoughts
- to manage money more wisely
- to communicate with my friends more freely (currently I hold back a lot of my thoughts and feelings, and subsequently have trouble expressing myself)
-