What is the nature of love?
How do you recognise love? Is there "10 sure signs that you're in love" published somewhere? Or is it a feeling, a belief that you just have, something beyond words? How does one know they're in love? And is it always mutual, does it happen at the same time for both people, is it really forever?
I have so many questions about love, this idea I know so little about.
I don't know that I've ever said "I love you" to someone, save family, and meant it. Even to family, the only person I love unconditionally is my grandmother, but now that she's passed, I can't say with conviction that there is anyone on this earth that I know I love.
Children should grow up surrounded by love. I think those that don't really lose out on a lot of things. Like emotion. I know when I feel happy, and when I feel sad. What I don't know, is if that is all there is. It certainly seems that way for me. I want to feel everything, from the depths of despair to perfect love, but I don't know if I can allow my guard down enough to just... feel things.
Take this thing - love. When I think of it, I think of love as being eternal and perfect. Love should conquer all, should perservere, overcome all obstacles. Love is powerful. At least, I think it is. Matthew says he loves me. Does that mean he thinks I'm attractive, or nice to be around, or fun... Or is it something deeper? Is this love, which he professes to have, the kind that will last an eternity, or is it a fad that will change like the seasons?
I think I'm in love with the idea of love. When he first told me "I love you", I wasn't overcome with the immense joy and peacefulness that the girls in the movies seem to be. It wasn't the beautiful moment I'd dreamed up, with my internal symphony coming to a creschendo of violins and harps. To be honest, I was without words, and it seemed for a second like all emotion had left me.
I should love him. He's sweet and kind, fun and affectionate. Maybe thats what's holding me back. I'm so used to being used and discarded, or loved falsely, or just not loved at all.
I know I deserve love. I just don't know if I can return it.
I have so many questions about love, this idea I know so little about.
I don't know that I've ever said "I love you" to someone, save family, and meant it. Even to family, the only person I love unconditionally is my grandmother, but now that she's passed, I can't say with conviction that there is anyone on this earth that I know I love.
Children should grow up surrounded by love. I think those that don't really lose out on a lot of things. Like emotion. I know when I feel happy, and when I feel sad. What I don't know, is if that is all there is. It certainly seems that way for me. I want to feel everything, from the depths of despair to perfect love, but I don't know if I can allow my guard down enough to just... feel things.
Take this thing - love. When I think of it, I think of love as being eternal and perfect. Love should conquer all, should perservere, overcome all obstacles. Love is powerful. At least, I think it is. Matthew says he loves me. Does that mean he thinks I'm attractive, or nice to be around, or fun... Or is it something deeper? Is this love, which he professes to have, the kind that will last an eternity, or is it a fad that will change like the seasons?
I think I'm in love with the idea of love. When he first told me "I love you", I wasn't overcome with the immense joy and peacefulness that the girls in the movies seem to be. It wasn't the beautiful moment I'd dreamed up, with my internal symphony coming to a creschendo of violins and harps. To be honest, I was without words, and it seemed for a second like all emotion had left me.
I should love him. He's sweet and kind, fun and affectionate. Maybe thats what's holding me back. I'm so used to being used and discarded, or loved falsely, or just not loved at all.
I know I deserve love. I just don't know if I can return it.