[OOC: not visible to Talks or Ctrl] And just when you think everything's going well...
Totally randomly managed to bump into Ctrl online last night and have a chat. He's concerned I've Changed, because he doesn't want me to have to go through the shit he was put through by the Nation. Concerned about him too, he's still got a lot of stuff to work through in his head that he's not telling me.
When I tried to broach the subject though, his first assumption was that I must be side-stepping mentioning that I was pregnant!
Only realised afterwards that for all the stuff we talked about, Talks never got mentioned in the conversation. Bit odd.
Then today I get a text.
Chloe,
I'm a moron. Can we meet up and get very drunk at some point?
And it just *hurts*, because I'd love to go out and get very drunk with him, talk crap and say the wrong thing, and dance badly to some track I've never heard before and it not *matter*.
But I've got to draw a line under that - and anyway, it wasn't *from* Ian...
So I'm going to go out and get very drunk with a nice kinfolk!
And no, that's not how it sounds *wry smile*
I just have a bloody twisted sense of humour and a bit of me almost *wants* Ian to see me say that and react to it! Because right now I don't know how the hell he's feeling, and it's like screaming into a canyon, and waiting for an echo that doesn't come.
Bah. shjould put this on private. Don't care. It's locked so Ctrl & Talks can't see it.
When I tried to broach the subject though, his first assumption was that I must be side-stepping mentioning that I was pregnant!
Only realised afterwards that for all the stuff we talked about, Talks never got mentioned in the conversation. Bit odd.
Then today I get a text.
Chloe,
I'm a moron. Can we meet up and get very drunk at some point?
And it just *hurts*, because I'd love to go out and get very drunk with him, talk crap and say the wrong thing, and dance badly to some track I've never heard before and it not *matter*.
But I've got to draw a line under that - and anyway, it wasn't *from* Ian...
So I'm going to go out and get very drunk with a nice kinfolk!
And no, that's not how it sounds *wry smile*
I just have a bloody twisted sense of humour and a bit of me almost *wants* Ian to see me say that and react to it! Because right now I don't know how the hell he's feeling, and it's like screaming into a canyon, and waiting for an echo that doesn't come.
Bah. shjould put this on private. Don't care. It's locked so Ctrl & Talks can't see it.