(no subject)
i think i'm afraid of people, in chill sessions, because of not seeing/chilling with any, really, besides fallon. i like it this way, but i'm scared off every time someone asks me to hang out, because i just want to do not much until i can see fallon.
how am i going to handle senior week ? i expect that SHITLOADS of people will be down there, and that i won't really be able to avoid them anymore.
i'm babysitting fallon's little brother and sister for the summer. somebody asked what would happen with that if we broke up, but i imagine it wouldn't really make too much of a difference. he's hoping to be working in VA for the same hours i'm going to be babysitting.
i need female friends. amanda, a girl i work with at Petsmart, is fairly awesome, so i might hit that [up] some time. however, she's bi, which i knew as soon as i'd talked to her for more than a few minutes ..because i got along with her perfectly. and i know i'd take full advantage of that.
oh, well.
this reminds me of phil:
"He makes you feel like you’re the center of his universe; the alpha and omega; everything. What most people never realize is that all the while, he’s this fucking giant black hole; sucking you in, making you smaller and smaller as you’re pulled into him; until one day who you used to be is no longer who you are. All that you’ve become is a receptacle for his affection. There only remains the heart in you that bleeds and hopes and loves and despairs and knows... fucking knows ...that you lost yourself, and that really, it’s all your fault."
WEATHER FORECAST FOR:
birthday: all-around sucky.
May: people will still be yelling at me for dropping two 'good' jobs for 'a little kid job.'
Senior Week: i get the feeling the scales will tip more to the side of not being enjoyable.
summer: different. probably frustrating and aggravating, but not something i've done before.
"This world's an ugly place
but you're so beautiful to me
This world is full of strangers
but you feel like home to me."
i wish i had any kind of inspiration to write or create ...i haven't for a long time ..not anything good, anyway.
"don't love me because you believe i'm perfect ...do so despite the fact that i'm not ...because i am not."
-chaz>
how am i going to handle senior week ? i expect that SHITLOADS of people will be down there, and that i won't really be able to avoid them anymore.
i'm babysitting fallon's little brother and sister for the summer. somebody asked what would happen with that if we broke up, but i imagine it wouldn't really make too much of a difference. he's hoping to be working in VA for the same hours i'm going to be babysitting.
i need female friends. amanda, a girl i work with at Petsmart, is fairly awesome, so i might hit that [up] some time. however, she's bi, which i knew as soon as i'd talked to her for more than a few minutes ..because i got along with her perfectly. and i know i'd take full advantage of that.
oh, well.
this reminds me of phil:
"He makes you feel like you’re the center of his universe; the alpha and omega; everything. What most people never realize is that all the while, he’s this fucking giant black hole; sucking you in, making you smaller and smaller as you’re pulled into him; until one day who you used to be is no longer who you are. All that you’ve become is a receptacle for his affection. There only remains the heart in you that bleeds and hopes and loves and despairs and knows... fucking knows ...that you lost yourself, and that really, it’s all your fault."
WEATHER FORECAST FOR:
birthday: all-around sucky.
May: people will still be yelling at me for dropping two 'good' jobs for 'a little kid job.'
Senior Week: i get the feeling the scales will tip more to the side of not being enjoyable.
summer: different. probably frustrating and aggravating, but not something i've done before.
"This world's an ugly place
but you're so beautiful to me
This world is full of strangers
but you feel like home to me."
i wish i had any kind of inspiration to write or create ...i haven't for a long time ..not anything good, anyway.
"don't love me because you believe i'm perfect ...do so despite the fact that i'm not ...because i am not."
-chaz>