Is it creepy??
Is it creepy if I check up on my exs? The ones that don't talk to me... I'd like to see how they're doing, at least.
I like my exs who are my friends. cause they're my friends. and we shared good times. Same with my exs who don't talk to me. I would still like to be friends... but they don't like me.
Then again... I understand how they feel. Cause when someone hurts me, I don't want to talk to them, or hear them saying that they want me back. But I don't want anyone back. I just want to be friends. Is that creepy??
I think facebook has gotten to me. I don't want to know who checks up on me, but I want to check up on people occassionally... I found out it's an obsession I have. I think everyone has a little bit of it, too. Obsession, that is. Everyone elses life is so intriguing. I don't go delving too deep, but we all used to be friends once, we used to be really close... what happend? I guess everyone has to go their own way... but I still hesitate when I IM someone on facebook... like I'm uncool trying to be cool by messaging them first. I feel like I'm that annoying person, the one that yells across a room when they recognize someone like, "Hey! So-and-so! How are you!" and the so-and-so is thinking "Oh jeez, it's Lilly... here she is... HEEEY! LILLY... what's up?" just from the look on their face, I know they're waiting for me to leave.
I guess none of us have time anymore. I tried to replay an instance where Michelle and Georgiana and I went out... it was a ladies night (not with bimbos, but with intelligent women) and we had a nice dinner and just talked. Unfortunatly, it has yet to happen again. Someone gets called into work, and the other lives too far away... happened twice and then I stopped trying.
So I guess life has up and swallowed everyone up. I'm no different. Between looking for another apt, working like a dog, going to school, studying, spending time with Gabe, it's hard to fit in even time to visit my parents. I don't know how to party, I don't know how to go out and have fun... maybe that's why I try and "stalk" my old boyfriends... I'm living in the past. Or, at least, I'm trying to. Those are the times I guess I had fun, not that I'm not having fun with Gabe ~_^ but the no worries kind of fun, I guess.
So much guessing. I'm never really sure of anything.
I miss you, all my old friends. Because you are my friends.