This might be my favorite email ever!
It's long so I'll cut it - now that I know how!
> >>Dear Red States:
> >>
> >>California has decided that we're leaving you. We intend to form
> >>our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In
> >>case you aren't aware, this includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington,
> >>Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all of the Northeast.
> >>We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and
> >>especially to the people of the new country of New California.
> >>
> >>To sum up briefly:
> >>
> >>You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
> >>We get stem cell research and the best beaches.
> >>We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.
> >>We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.
> >>We get Intel and Microsoft. You
>get WorldCom.
> >>We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
> >>We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.
> >>You get Alabama.
> >>We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red
> >>states pay their fair share.
> >>
> >>Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the
> >>Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a
> >>bunch of single moms.
> >>
> >>Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and
> >>anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq
> >>at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They
> >>have kids they're apparently willing to send to their death for no
> >>purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their
> >>children's
>caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and
> >>hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our
> >>resources in Bush's Quagmire.
> >>
> >>With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80
> >>percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the
> >>pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95
> >>percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at
> >>state dinners), 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high
> >>tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living
> >>redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister
> >>schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.
> >>
> >>With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with
> >>88 percent of
>all obese Americans (and their projected health care
> >>costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of
> >>the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all
> >>Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists,
> >>Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of
> >>Georgia.
> >>
> >>We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.
> >>
> >>Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah
> >>was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is
> >>sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or laws, 44
> >>percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam
> >>was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazies believe you are
> >>people with higher morals then we lefties. Good
>luck with that.
> >>
> >>
> >>By the way, we're taking the good pot, too.
> >>You can have that dirtweed they grow in Mexico…
LOL, I love it!
> >>Dear Red States:
> >>
> >>California has decided that we're leaving you. We intend to form
> >>our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In
> >>case you aren't aware, this includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington,
> >>Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all of the Northeast.
> >>We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and
> >>especially to the people of the new country of New California.
> >>
> >>To sum up briefly:
> >>
> >>You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
> >>We get stem cell research and the best beaches.
> >>We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.
> >>We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.
> >>We get Intel and Microsoft. You
>get WorldCom.
> >>We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
> >>We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.
> >>You get Alabama.
> >>We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red
> >>states pay their fair share.
> >>
> >>Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the
> >>Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a
> >>bunch of single moms.
> >>
> >>Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and
> >>anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq
> >>at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They
> >>have kids they're apparently willing to send to their death for no
> >>purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their
> >>children's
>caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and
> >>hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our
> >>resources in Bush's Quagmire.
> >>
> >>With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80
> >>percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the
> >>pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95
> >>percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at
> >>state dinners), 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high
> >>tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living
> >>redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister
> >>schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.
> >>
> >>With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with
> >>88 percent of
>all obese Americans (and their projected health care
> >>costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of
> >>the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all
> >>Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists,
> >>Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of
> >>Georgia.
> >>
> >>We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.
> >>
> >>Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah
> >>was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is
> >>sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or laws, 44
> >>percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam
> >>was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazies believe you are
> >>people with higher morals then we lefties. Good
>luck with that.
> >>
> >>
> >>By the way, we're taking the good pot, too.
> >>You can have that dirtweed they grow in Mexico…
LOL, I love it!