Aww hell
I think I'm just plain insane. And I do mean in the clinical sense...
I'm all, twitchy, I'm dealing with this TGA shit, thing, magiggar. Half the time I just ignore it, but frankly when I really don't know what the FUCK is going on, it get's a little, eery.
I don't feel happy ever, I go out of my way to get some poor little creature water for his vehicle because it over-heated on the interstate, and my first instinct when I got home, was to walk determinedly to the bathroom, and with the thought "GET IT OFF ME" I showered forever it felt like... I don't think I'm a nice person, I just do nice things, and then feel disgusting afterwards... -.- thus is my life.
My job is becoming a bit less fun, I'm about to either quit, or murder someone. At this point preferably the latter.
But I do recognize the wonderful things, and I try to stay atleast a bit possitive, if only to keep a small portion of myself happily sane, but seriously... Why is the bad always seems to outweigh the good in my life? Those brief moments where something wonderful is happening shine like beacons, but then something terrible happens, and I'm all.. wallow in crap again. One cannot see the diamond for all the dirt piled on it, sure, but will somebody hand me a fucking shovel? Or are people too busy using them to pile more dirt on my diamonds... -.- Back the fuck up people.
The good news is I know their there, mostly, but oh wait. Which ones have I forgotten?
Sometimes I feel like throwing my hands into the air, and demanding that I be happy, and run around like a fool until I am. But I don't, because I can't. Because I've so much SHIT going on, that I can't get it all straight... And I want to start school in the fall? Right... Remind me at some point just to beat myself over the head with something blunt... Maybe I'll learn.
Aww well. Atleast I still have my health... Physically anyway........ Actually my back does hurt, but eh... That'll pass. -.- I can always relie on ole' faithful here not crapping out on me... And owed to Sloanie, I've felt guilty for eating anything that doesn't have "I'M NOT BAD FOR YOU" plastered on the side. Not guilty because of what it is, but guilty because I have the knowledge that it's not actually good for me, and I still ate it... So I bought some non-bad for me stuff today. And I've been eating decently for a while without even noticing, my Mom caught me eating a pear the other day, and I had the "blinking innocence look" plastered on my face, holding the pear to my mouth. She laughed, and walked off. I still don't get that one too well.
I like how when I don't talk about the bad, my mood lifts... I have friends for a reason... I guess. -.- I just wish they lived closer. Bah. Damn distance... I need to learn to teleport... Or buy a fairy... or a unicorn... or SOMETHING. Or find Mrs. Who, so I can tesseract... O.o
Well, there goes the last bit of my sanity, with the Mrs. Who crack...
I'm all, twitchy, I'm dealing with this TGA shit, thing, magiggar. Half the time I just ignore it, but frankly when I really don't know what the FUCK is going on, it get's a little, eery.
I don't feel happy ever, I go out of my way to get some poor little creature water for his vehicle because it over-heated on the interstate, and my first instinct when I got home, was to walk determinedly to the bathroom, and with the thought "GET IT OFF ME" I showered forever it felt like... I don't think I'm a nice person, I just do nice things, and then feel disgusting afterwards... -.- thus is my life.
My job is becoming a bit less fun, I'm about to either quit, or murder someone. At this point preferably the latter.
But I do recognize the wonderful things, and I try to stay atleast a bit possitive, if only to keep a small portion of myself happily sane, but seriously... Why is the bad always seems to outweigh the good in my life? Those brief moments where something wonderful is happening shine like beacons, but then something terrible happens, and I'm all.. wallow in crap again. One cannot see the diamond for all the dirt piled on it, sure, but will somebody hand me a fucking shovel? Or are people too busy using them to pile more dirt on my diamonds... -.- Back the fuck up people.
The good news is I know their there, mostly, but oh wait. Which ones have I forgotten?
Sometimes I feel like throwing my hands into the air, and demanding that I be happy, and run around like a fool until I am. But I don't, because I can't. Because I've so much SHIT going on, that I can't get it all straight... And I want to start school in the fall? Right... Remind me at some point just to beat myself over the head with something blunt... Maybe I'll learn.
Aww well. Atleast I still have my health... Physically anyway........ Actually my back does hurt, but eh... That'll pass. -.- I can always relie on ole' faithful here not crapping out on me... And owed to Sloanie, I've felt guilty for eating anything that doesn't have "I'M NOT BAD FOR YOU" plastered on the side. Not guilty because of what it is, but guilty because I have the knowledge that it's not actually good for me, and I still ate it... So I bought some non-bad for me stuff today. And I've been eating decently for a while without even noticing, my Mom caught me eating a pear the other day, and I had the "blinking innocence look" plastered on my face, holding the pear to my mouth. She laughed, and walked off. I still don't get that one too well.
I like how when I don't talk about the bad, my mood lifts... I have friends for a reason... I guess. -.- I just wish they lived closer. Bah. Damn distance... I need to learn to teleport... Or buy a fairy... or a unicorn... or SOMETHING. Or find Mrs. Who, so I can tesseract... O.o
Well, there goes the last bit of my sanity, with the Mrs. Who crack...