Fancy
Fancy died yesterday. I found her by the garage after putting the children to bed; don't know how long she'd been there. My poor laughing trickster kitty-cat. She won't ever bitch me out for being late with dinner again. Dug a hole, set her in. Said some words. Something like:
"My beautiful cat. Keeper of the laughter of my heart. May Calico and Apricot and Honey and Gideon and Cat-cat and Seafur welcome you home. Please know that I love you. I miss you."
Ended with the little benediction I say when I pass an animal dead in the road, or a tree cut down: "Be at peace, run free and soar, the Earth and skies are yours."
Covered her with dirt. Cried a lot.
In 2001, I think, Felice moved in with Monique. Monique had cats already and the apartment manager wouldn't let any more move in, so Felice needed homes for hers. I wanted a friend for Moonshadow, so went to meet Felice's cats. All ignored me except Fancy, who walked up, talked at me, and bit my fingers in a friendly way. Teeth like needles. I brought her home, kept her in the back room of my apartment for a week so she and Moonshadow could adjust. They'd swipe at each other with paws reaching under the door, each trying to figure out what or who the other was. We've been together ever since.
Fancy died yesterday. I knew she was old, she'd recently been diagnosed diabetic; I was ready for an eventual talk with her and a visit to the vet for euthanasia. I wasn't ready to find her on the dirt, in an area scraped clean of pine needles. Her gums were black, some pine needles clenched in her teeth. Flies buzzing. No obvious wounds, so I don't know if she lost a fight or just convulsed. What I know is that she died, I wasn't with her when she did, and I miss her.
My beautiful Fancy cat. I miss you.
"My beautiful cat. Keeper of the laughter of my heart. May Calico and Apricot and Honey and Gideon and Cat-cat and Seafur welcome you home. Please know that I love you. I miss you."
Ended with the little benediction I say when I pass an animal dead in the road, or a tree cut down: "Be at peace, run free and soar, the Earth and skies are yours."
Covered her with dirt. Cried a lot.
In 2001, I think, Felice moved in with Monique. Monique had cats already and the apartment manager wouldn't let any more move in, so Felice needed homes for hers. I wanted a friend for Moonshadow, so went to meet Felice's cats. All ignored me except Fancy, who walked up, talked at me, and bit my fingers in a friendly way. Teeth like needles. I brought her home, kept her in the back room of my apartment for a week so she and Moonshadow could adjust. They'd swipe at each other with paws reaching under the door, each trying to figure out what or who the other was. We've been together ever since.
Fancy died yesterday. I knew she was old, she'd recently been diagnosed diabetic; I was ready for an eventual talk with her and a visit to the vet for euthanasia. I wasn't ready to find her on the dirt, in an area scraped clean of pine needles. Her gums were black, some pine needles clenched in her teeth. Flies buzzing. No obvious wounds, so I don't know if she lost a fight or just convulsed. What I know is that she died, I wasn't with her when she did, and I miss her.
My beautiful Fancy cat. I miss you.