'Cause I'm out in the Club and I'm sipping that Bub'
Say what he would about the man- and Tony had a lot to say- Loki knew how to dress for the occasion. Except for that stupid helmet, he could be quite snazzy. And tonight, he had clearly outdone himself, obviously looking to impress. Never one to be intimidated by a tux, Stark nevertheless had to admire the ruthless cut of his black suit jacket, and the bleached whiteness of his buttoned shirt. That gold tie- it had to be metal with such a shine to it. At least he was following one rule: dress sharp. His hair was not slicked back, but brought back into a half-ponytail. Tony could see by the look in Ani’s eyes that this met with her approval. Damn the suave bastard.
Better still, somehow the villain had found a lovely evening dress for suddenly-Ani as well. By found, Tony probably meant stole, but that was fine, because anyone else wearing that gown was a crime. She looked perfectly elegant in her tastefully shaped green and gold bustier over a little black dress. It hugged her curves gently, but did not reveal anything substantial. And, by way of a minor miracle, she was wearing quite elegant jewelry that matched: gold with moonstones. His bracelet was nowhere to be seen, but Tony suspected he would be viewing it soon enough at a major event. Of course, the girl was still wearing black flats, but one could not pry the snail from its shell without a couple of leftovers clinging. They looked well enough, and the maître d only gave the shoes a slight frown.
Loki, on the other hand, looked like the cat that got the cream. Quite likely he would later, no matter how eloquently Stark pleaded his case with Ani. Just the slightly indecent set of the trickster’s hand on her hip suggested how well entrenched he had become. But mostly it was the way she smiled up at him with eyes full of a need for his approval that convinced Tony he had his work cut out for him. Strangely, the trickster was tender in his returning smile- so without sneer that the inventor began to wonder what was in it for Thor’s (adopted) brother. According to what little he knew, Loki was the top- all the time and any time. Why bother being nice?
Lexi, meanwhile, had come in with Jonathan alias (unfortunately) “Don Jon,” in an outfit that screamed very quietly thousand-dollar price tag. It was enough to throw Stark for a loop. Where had she gotten that get-up? Were those diamonds? Was she wearing something that was not blue? It just did not scan. However, that was very like the girl: she enjoyed disturbing people’s mental balance. He generously skipped over Don Jon’s obviously handed-down-instead-of-thrown-out tuxedo. Not everyone could be chic.
Everyone settled in at the table, Ani and Lexi taking the gentlemanly overtures of their partners with grace. On Tony’s left, Ren was quietly seething in a gorgeous bronze dress. It was not her selection, but rather something Stark had been saving for a moment just like this. He might die for it, but at least he would have the pleasure of viewing her in a gown appropriate to the occasion first. Besides, he had allowed her the smoked glasses; they matched surprisingly well.
Little Orphan Ani seemed a bit confused by the menus when they arrived discreetly. Loki leaned in slightly, slipping his arm far too obviously around her waist as he explained the choices and why there were no listed prices. Snorting, Ren ignored hers, while the inventor picked it up to study briefly. Actually, Tony had never been fond of places like this, but he wanted to show up the trickster. Continuing her pattern of weirdness, Lexi looked right at home, even picking out the perfect aperitif for all concerned.
Apparently just to further fuck with his mind, the shrimp beckoned the waiter over with the most imperious little wave of her forefinger, and placed her order. In French. He goggled at her, but she seemed impervious to his raised brows and bugged out eyes. Therefore, he turned to disconcerting her boy-toy.
“Isn’t she wonderful?” he cooed instead once Tony managed to catch his eye.
Lexi raised a shoulder elegantly and coolly. “Well, we can’t all be uncultured swine.”
Suddenly, Tony had a hideous feeling of recognition. Had he- oh, please let it not be so! When? He could not bring any details to mind, but that was no surprise. If he had- please no- then he could be certain Lexi was playing a long game of revenge.
Well, this was uncomfortable. He would have to talk to a buddy about this. Not Clint, however. Clint sucked at guy stuff. Shifting slightly on the seat to nonchalantly cross his legs, he shot a glance at Ren, but she looked as murderous as ever, so there was no telling if she was part of the plot.
After the wine, which Ani sniffed, but decided against, there was a desultory attempt at conversation. That quickly faded into the couples talking to one another, and the girls- Lexi, mainly- adding helpful tidbits to one another’s conversations. Jonathan, to give him his due, was quite up to date on technology and happy to talk shop, but Loki merely rolled his eyes. Clearly, he was too cool for mortal chatter.
Coulson’s little girl turned out to be incredibly shy, puzzling Tony. He was used to her joining in more often. It was Loki who gently drew her out. Setting Tony’s teeth on edge with his intimate knowledge of her daily life, he further annoyed the inventor by caressing her languidly as she spoke. Worst of all, she kept looking up at the semi-god for his approval.
“Ladies,” said Lexi after the appetizers were finished, “I feel the need to freshen up.”
Why does that sound so disturbingly familiar, wondered Tony as the girls rose together. Dropping a decorous kiss on doofus’s cheek, Lexi lead the feminine entourage. Grinning like an idiot, horrible-nickname-boytoy excused himself as well. Now was Tony’s chance to confront everyone’s suddenly favorite villain, and he had best take it. Even if she was having a momentary lapse of sanity due to having sex for the first time in her life- well, every girl got a little strange after sex, right? It took a man of his fortitude to work this out.
“You think to dissuade me from spending my precious time on such a perfect specimen,” the dark-haired alien said, cutting right through Tony’s internal motivational monologue. “Go on, then.”
“You should leave her alone,” Stark insisted vehemently. “Don’t you think she deserves better? Hell, you’re on the run as it is. People think you’re dead.”
“You do not understand,” Loki said tersely.
“Spell it out for me, then.” Sitting back in his chair, Tony dared him to do what he would. Instead of displaying his temper, Loki looked toward the bathrooms, eyes focused on something beyond even that.
“She would never be happy with another. That, at least, I can give her.”
Rolling his eyes, Stark said, “Sure, there will never be anyone as good as you in her life. Have you seen the other candidates? There’s the super soldier who is pretty much apple pie sweet, if a little slow; then we have the speedy and adorable mutant- a bit hung up on his sister, I admit, but there’s something there; not to mention Clint, who seriously is a stalker in his devotion to protecting her. And that’s just the current round. She’ll have others. But wait- only you can make her happy. Give me a break.”
“Sarcasm will change nothing,” noted the dark-haired trickster. “It is not the way of her species to choose more than one mate.”
“Oh, well, mating.” Tony waved a hand dismissively. “Anybody could do what you do. Seriously, I would like you to meet my friend: the internet.”
Slapping his palm against the table, Loki snapped, “You do not understand the nature of the subject at hand, metal man! It is not that she would be saddened and pine for me. It is simply this: I will be the only one she will ever love. Why do you think Coulson hurt Neyna so when he dallied with another? She loved him alone, and could never conceive of shifting her heart to anyone else. Ani’s people do not, and can not love more than once.”
“You have to be joking.”
“I do not jest,” said Loki testily. “Are you coming to grasp the depths of Odin’s deception now? Knowing that I was not his child, and would thereby break his word, he still betrothed me to her. He knew all along what this would cost.”
“Wait, wait, wait. You’re saying that Odin- good-guy Odin- betrothed you two mystically so that she would fall in love with you.”
“It was hardly mystical,” grumbled the possible-god. “Merely my kindness was enough. It is a bond formed early, with the nearest and gentlest member of the opposite sex.”
Stark’s mind boggled. “That’s it? Just be nice for five minutes, and she’ll hop into bed with you? Where the hell are the rest of these women?”
“The species is no longer extant,” Loki pointed out with annoyance. “And mere ‘niceness’ is insufficient. It requires gentle attention, and a certain amount of devotion to the subject. But Ani was quite easy to become enamored of.”
“Pedophile,” muttered Stark.
“Do not be disgusting. I loved her company for her non-physical attributes. Her kindness, her brilliance, her imagination-”
“Sucker,” Tony diagnosed.
Leaning back in his seat, Loki said simply, “Tell me she is not those things, then. Tell me she does not become like the sun to you when you make her happy. Tell me you do not enjoy simply listening to her talk of her dreams.”
“Okay, so I’m a sucker too. That still doesn’t make me the best person for her to fall in love with, anymore than you are.”
“I never claimed I was. I am simply stating the facts as they are. While I am able, I intend to afford her as much happiness as I may.”
“Why?” demanded Tony, striking out toward the heart of the matter. “Why the hell do you care?”
Another glance toward the lavatories- what were those girls discussing- and then Loki leaned forward over the table. “When I was younger, I realized that for no reason I could discern, my father favored my brother over me. Nothing I did pleased him. My mother treated us more equally, but Thor was the heir to the throne. When he acted out, she had to be with him. I was miserable with the discovery that merely being well-behaved could not earn my father’s favor. Nor could physical prowess. Nor magic. Do you comprehend what that is like? The better I was, the less anyone noticed me.
“And then the final seeming blow: a betrothal to an infant! I was no child, and yet I was passed off without my consent. This, after my brother had caused scandal after scandal chasing women in supposed pursuit of his own bride. What was I, then?
“At first, I refused to look on her. She was a babe in arms to my own age. While I knew that she would catch up to me in time, my ego was badly bruised. My brother taunted that she would grow to be hideous, or a fool, and I would be stuck with her. Thus I crafted a way to visit her so that none in Asgard would know of it. Were she an idiot, or a horrid beast, I would be the only one who knew.”
“A little extreme there,” Tony commented, but Loki brushed him aside as inconsequential to his retelling.
“I chose a time at which she ought to be sleeping, for it would be my only chance to catch her alone. Obviously, it would be unwise to alert her parents to my existence, lest word get back to the All-Father. Our betrothal was all to be quite clandestine, which ought to have alerted me at the time. But I was foolishly caught up in my fears and my desire to find some approval.
“But it was not from my supposed father this would come. Though it was indeed the time for her to be in slumber, she was well awake and in quite a state. She had a toy of which she was very fond, and had, by accident or unintelligent design, thrust in from her sleeping place. Without it, she was utterly bereft. As worried as I was about discovery, I returned it to her. Then, as she dried her tears, I thought I should lull her into sleep. I picked her up, probably somewhat clumsily, and rocked her as best I might, humming the same lullaby Frigga had sung to me.
“Perhaps that was all that was necessary for her to admire me, and perhaps it was I who put this curse upon her. But she seemed to know me from the start. Not once she did object to my handling, awkward as it must have been. All I can be certain of is the fact that she seemed to adore me, and I fell under the spell of sincere admiration. She won me to her side. And I will not leave it.”
“You totally killed her father,” Tony had to point out.
“Of course I did,” retorted Loki. “He had abandoned her to a monster, lied to her about his death, and utterly ignored her plight. Have you any idea how many times she sought to end her life? Do you know how often I was forced to hold closed her wounds as I gave her the only elixir which could save her? And there was her father, perfectly healthy, seeming quite satisfied in his existence, without any hint of mourning for his only child. I lost my temper, I admit, but what blame can you place upon me for that, when I had felt her blood running over my fingers only the week before?”
“And I am supposed to believe that? She doesn’t have any scars.”
“Of course she does not! How could she survive the coming change with scars? Such weak points would kill her!”
“What cha-” But before Tony could fully form the inquiry, Ani returned to the table with the rest of the entourage. She slid into her chair and Loki pushed it in gently. Smiling up at him, she exchanged a light kiss.
“Did you behave?” she asked brightly, but of which, he could not be sure.
“We have spoken,” Loki acknowledged.
“Did you apologize for throwing him out of the window? That was uncalled for.”
Stark nodded. “Definitely.”
With a trace of smirk, Loki said, “Forgive me my poor manners, then.”
With only the desserts left, Tony had no further opportunities to pursue his questioning. He had to settle for watching them like a Hawkeye. Throughout the meal, Loki had been quiet and courteous. As Ani laughed at a joke Loki made, Stark privately admitted that the trickster’s manner was more than kind: it was tender. Everything he did was calculated to put Ani at her ease, and make her feel good about herself. It seemed, for now, that the semi-god was serious about his promise. But that did not cover what would happen to Ani if he was caught by any one of the numerous people seeking him.
They said their goodbyes after a little while, before Lexi and her new boyfriend went. As when they had come in, Loki offered Ani his arm and a sweet kiss to boot. Stark wondered where he found all that charm in the depths of his purportedly black heart. Somehow he had Ani’s heart, and suddenly Tony was doubting they could wrangle it back at all.
“Is he always like that?” he asked Ani’s friends.
Ren shrugged eloquently. “He doesn’t hang around us much.”
“But when he does, he’s all over her,” Lexi pointed out. “It’s like he needs her. But she needs him more.”
Nodding, Ren agreed. “Definitely. She was a mess when she threw him out.”
“Whoa. She threw him out? Over what?”
“Duh, when she found out who he was and that he’d killed her dad.”
“She knows?” Stark was incredulous.
Vigorously nodding, Lexi explained, “I touched his glow-y cane, and I saw him stab her dad through the heart. It was totally ick, by the way. So I had to tell her.”
Foreseeing his next question, Ren said, “She told us that he explained himself and she forgave him because of his honesty. But I think she simply couldn’t stand to have him gone.”
“She was a total mess,” agreed Lexi. “We were awfully scared about her cutting herself again.”
“How many times has she-”
“A lot,” said Ren flatly. Bobbing her head, Lexi added,
“So many that Domino was thinking about sending her to a treatment center. It was like she just couldn’t stop. I mean, we all have our moments, but little Phil was bad, bad, bad.”
Well, he had known that about Ren- when you see someone naked, it was hard to avoid noticing- but now he had to wonder about who else was included in ‘we all.’ How bad was it to be a mutant? Or was this a part of the Goth culture? Tony had always drunk away his problems. Or thrown money at them until they gave up.
Uncomfortable with the turn the discussion had taken, he was pondering how best to awkwardly steer toward more cheerful waters when Jonathan stupidly said, “Don’t worry, sexy Lexi. I’ll be your daily serotonin, oxytocin, testosterone, norepinephrine, and dopamine boost. Perhaps even twice daily, should the doctor recommend it.”
As both Ren and Tony made what the same horrified what-the-hell face, Lexi cooed, “Oh, you dear, sweet beast.”
The obvious question of why anyone would want to discuss their sex life with their doctor rose to Tony’s lips, but he crushed that urge hastily and performed the most incredibly fake yawn he could summon. “Oh, gosh, I must be tired. Are you tired? Of course you are because it’s after eight and we should all go home and to bed right now.”
“Uh, the waiter has your card,” Ren reminded him unhelpfully.
Lexi shared a look with her overly enthusiastic date. “But he does make an excellent point. After all, even swans need to rest their pretty heads. Come, Don Jon.”
The nerd stood up so fast his chair nearly spun full circle. “Absolutely. A bloody good point indeed. It was very nice to meet you, sir.”
Wincing at the sir, Tony opened his mouth to tell the kid to stuff it, but Lexi gave him another chillingly familiar smile and agreed, “Yes, it was a delightful evening. Quite charming little place, this. Well, toodles.”
“Toodles?” repeated Tony blankly when his junk heart decided to function again.
Rolling her eyes quite expressively, Ren snorted. “Don’t mind her. She gets weird in upper crust places.”
“Oh.” Heading for the mental shores of sanity, he asked her teasingly, “And you are perfectly comfortable?”
“Don’t be an ass. Normal people are nervous around lots of money. Lexi, on the other hand, doesn’t notice it. That’s weird.”
“That’s not a very nice thing to say about your best friend,” he felt obligated to point out.
“Lexi,” growled Ren, “Is not my best friend.”
“Oh. Well, Ani has her points, it’s true-”
Leaning in delightfully close, Ren proceeded to hiss less enjoyably, “My best friend is dead. Now shut your stupid face.”
“Uh.” Getting a good look at her eyes up close- not an errand well suited to a man who had heart trouble- Tony shut his fat mouth. Then, because he was who he was, he opened it again to say, “We need to talk about this.”
“No,” snapped Ren automatically.
Slipping his arm around her waist, so that she would feel fully capable of dislocating his elbow, Tony explained, “Look, I’ve told you pretty much everything about my past. I like to be open and not only because everybody can find my life story in the tabloids. I used to be an asshole alcoholic, but I downgraded the asshole part. And that means sharing. You’re not even an asshole, but you won’t tell me anything. This sounds like a huge important thing that is going to make me look like a fully upgraded asshole if I accidentally talk about it. Again. So, give me something to go by.”
“Not here,” she growled, but Tony had to point out,
“If not here, then it won’t happen anywhere. You’ll find a way to duck out of it, and don’t tell me you won’t, because we’re both human and I’d do the same thing.”
“It is none-”
He raised a finger and the volcano subsided briefly. “Maybe it isn’t, but I’m still asking. Because I have found that I actually like getting to know you. Weird, huh?”
“In the car,” she snapped. Smothering his grin, Tony just nodded. He really did love a strong woman who knew her own mind. On his best behavior, he escorted her to his red car, but did not start the engine.
Glowering, she rapped out, “Fine. Do you remember the North Salem riots? I don't suppose you remember what caused them. Some of us from the school were in town. She didn't mean it, but Lexi was a stupid kid, things escalated, and my best friends died getting us out. Can we go home now?”
“Lexi did something?”
“I said she didn’t mean to,” Ren growled. “Will you stop digging where you aren’t wanted? And don’t you dare ask her about it!”
“Well, if you won’t give me any detail-”
“Google it!”
Practicing the ancient masculine art of shutting-the-hell-up-before-he-was-only-male-in-title, Tony closed his mouth and put his foot gently down on the gas. As she implied heavily, he would have to do his own research. Or more accurately, JARVIS would do the looking, and Tony would read it. Apparently during his years of caring all about himself, he truly had missed a few things. That was embarrassing.
***
Ani was, almost exclusively, a nervous mess. While Erin and Jay were busy admiring the admittedly gorgeous dress Jen had picked out for the event, Ani was simply trying not to panic. Up until today, the concert had been a distant fantasy. Not even Professor Cassidy’s relentless drills had made it as urgent as it ought to have been. Now Ani was about ready to jump off a roof- any roof- to avoid being, well, looked at by so many people.
“You like it, right?” Echo asked gently. Ani still jumped, but she appreciated the effort. If she was wound any more tightly, she might just launch herself into orbit.
“The dress? Yes, it’s lovely. Sorry, I’m a little- not that I don’t want to be here-”
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me,” Echo grinned. “I wouldn’t get out there in front of all those snobs for a big sack of cash. Not even chocolate truffles. But keep breathing, okay? They are here to see you, and also to give us a big sack of cash.”
“One sack per snob,” Lexi agreed from her corner of the dressing room mirror.
“What I do not understand is how you can not be ridiculously hot in that getup,” Echo exclaimed.
Looking down blankly at her outfit, Lexi asked, “What? I’m actually pretty cold right now.”
Honestly, Ani sided with Lexi on this occasion. The smaller woman had come dressed in the brown suede crop-top and mini skirt, with its very nearly indecent side slits, and just about nothing else that covered anything important. Even the leather bracer only covered a forearm, and the wraps on her feet were more for show and grip than concerns about exposing skin. She had to be plenty cool.
“But it’s all leather.”
“Says the woman who wears a catsuit to work,” grumbled Ren.
Sweetly, Echo noted, “And thus I should know what I’m talking about.”
As they went on to bicker in a friendly fashion, Ani tried to concentrate on the dress. It was green, which pleased her very much, particularly because it would please Loki. The glittering flowering vines as a belt and shoulder strap decor were a nice touch, too. Hopefully they would go well with that damn bracelet Stark had bought her.
Erin looked up from the make-up case she and Jay had brought in, on wheels no less. Leaving their boss to his mutterings about persons who put canary yellow in the obviously marked banana yellow slot, she pulled Ani into the chair. The playful snarking over by Lexi was increasing in intensity, and Ani realized with embarrassment that she flinched when Ren snapped,
“Not everyone needs to dress like a whore!”
“Now then, my little gemstones,” Jay chirped, with that very specific edge that told everyone he was not kidding, “I think it is high time you popped outside to decorate the night with your sparkle. You especially, Renata.”
“But,” Ani started to weakly protest.
“No, no, my little songbird. We cannot all linger in these meagre accommodations waiting on you to slip into that decadent masterpiece. Erin will tend to your minuscule need for polishing up, and we,” here Jay took Ren by the arm, “Are going to bless the world with our presence.”
“Joy,” grumbled Ren.
Once the door had closed behind the others, Erin turned her blonde head to Ani. “All right, what’s up, buttercup? Nerves jangling?”
“Yes,” gratefully admitted Ani.
Unexpectedly, Erin leaned forward and gave her the kind of hug Jay would. “Trust me, you’re going to knock them all on their rich asses, and make them wish they’d been kinder toward the world, because your generous heart shines through your voice. And let’s make them jealous of your beauty while we’re at it.”
“I’m really not-”
“Look here, Miss Coulson,” and Erin was fierce, “I’ve heard far too many women and girls talk down their own beauty. I’ve been one of them. But what you forget is that the most ugly you can be is still beautiful when you’re doing something for the good of others. If you make someone happy, if you help someone out, if you find compassion for someone else; you’ll be beautiful for the rest of your life. Who cares if you aren’t photoshopped? Why would anyone be counting your pimples? What matters, and what will always matter, is what you do with yourself. Be generous, be kind, and always be on the lookout for people you can lift up- even for just a moment- and that will be your beauty that never dies.”
Tilting her head and giving a sly grin, Erin finished, “And that is the kind of beautiful you already are.”
Crimson, Ani ducked her head. “Thank you.”
Digging into her make-up box, Erin said, “It’s important to acknowledge each other’s accomplishments, I think. Actually, I suppose I really know it. My brother needs that kind of talk all the time, and you are so much like him.”
“Your brother?”
Eyes twinkling, Erin said, “Your boss.”
Mouth fallen open, Ani was genuinely boggled. Did everyone know this? They did not even look alike!
“Different moms,” the blonde explained. “And, in the end, totally different lives. Jay stayed with our father, but my mom ran off before he found out she was pregnant. I didn’t even know I had a father until I needed my birth certificate to enroll in college. Then I thought I’d look him up.”
“Did you meet him?”
She shrugged. “He was dead, but Jay was using the same number. Of course we didn’t know each other at all, but he was happy to find out he had family.”
“Oh, well, it’s nice that you two found each other,” Ani said awkwardly.
“It was definitely good for both of us,” agreed Erin. “He needed someone to take care of him, the big baby, and I needed to feel useful. Dressing up every night is a bonus. Now, shimmy into that amazing dress so I can do your makeup. I’ll guard the door.”
Lexi called through the door, “I’ll hold the camera!”
While Erin rolled her eyes and firmly told Lexi to go grab her boyfriend and a closet, Ani turned to strip. She had come in the white dress, of which Loki had turned out to be extremely fond, but it was nowhere near swank enough. Not that Jen had said so. It had been Professor Cassidy who warned her against using it when she turned up for practice wearing it. Who knew he would have such an intimate understanding of fashion? Of course, he probably had dozens of performances under his belt.
Slipping her dress onto a hanger, Ani shivered. No matter how she tried to avoid it, she was still tingling at the very idea that she was about to step out in front of a crowd of complete strangers to sing. At Dark of the Moon, she had known most of the customers by sight, if not by name. This felt like parading out there nude, and she was not fond of the concept. However, this was not about her, and she had to “man-up,” as Lexi was so fond of saying.
In all honesty, she knew could never fully grasp how the Morlocks felt. She had a place to live mostly of her own choosing, and no one was actively trying to murder her that she knew about. Too, she had friends, if not family.
But on the other side of the coin, Ani was all too aware that there was something objectionable about her. She had not needed to be told by Clint that there were people who wished her harm. After all, she had been raised by someone whose hatred of her ran so deep that she even blamed Ani for her suicide. It was not the sort of incident that was casually forgotten. Buried, maybe, but still it lurked on the edges of her waking consciousness.
She might not be subject to casual slurs, but certain wounds ran deep. Maybe she could never gain the mental balance to put things in proper perspective, but she could use that unique point of view to show others a hint of what the other side felt. That was why she was doing the ludicrous: turning her pain into an entertainment piece for people she had never met. Even though it gave her the heebie-jeebies, Ani was prepared to get out there and try.
“I love it when you stand there staring at nothing for several minutes,” Erin said, closing the door. She had had it open to scold Lexi through. “I would think you would want to be ready to- good lord! When did you get tattoos?”
“Tattoos?” repeated Ani, confused by the plural.
“Honey, you can not be covered in gold spirals and swirly vines and not know about them,” Erin insisted, pulling her toward the mirror. “Sit down in the chair; you look too pale.”
However, Ani did not sit. As soon as she saw her reflection, she backed away quickly. She knew that monster and needed to get away from it immediately.
“I am not kidding, you need to sit down,” Erin insisted, but Ani shook her head swiftly.
“No! No, no, no.”
“If you don’t sit down, you’re going to faint.”
“I am not-”
Erin cut her off, hauling the chair away from the mirror. “I said, sit! Jessica should be here in just a second.”
“Right behind you,” said the dark-haired mutant, making both other girls jump. “What on earth do you need me- oh my god.”
Ani hid her face. “I know, I know. Please stop looking at me.”
“No, it’s fine,” Jessica tried to insist. “They’re pretty.”
“It is not fine!” Ani snapped, a bit damply. “I’m a freak! Now!”
“You really need to tone that down,” Jessica pointed out, but Erin rose to Ani’s defense.
“She has every right to feel that way, Jess. It isn’t every day a girl finds out she’s a mutant.”
“She is not one of your mutants,” drawled an elegantly familiar voice. “But the shock, I agree, is not a common one and should be handled more delicately.”
Loki held the door open behind him. “If you would give us a moment or two alone, ladies?”
Although Erin looked willing enough to go, Jessica folded her arms. “I’ve been told by more than a few people that I can’t trust you.”
“I was not implying that you should,” the trickster replied. “Allow me to point out, however, that what Ani and I discuss is not intended for your ears.”
“That’s not a choice you get to make.”
“I never said it was my choice,” smoothly countered Loki.
Jessica looked at Ani incredulously. “Is he serious?”
“I-” Ani could not meet her eyes. “Can you- just for a minute- please?”
Before Jessica could burst out with a justifiably angry retort, Erin grabbed her bicep. “Come on, Jess. She has a right to privacy just like you.”
Unable to watch her friend leave in a huff, Ani stared at the floor. Why could nothing ever be simple? Loki held them up at the door, saying quietly,
“Please leave her to me. I do not think any others need be party to this, for the moment.”
“You mean: Don’t tell the Avengers,” hissed Jessica furiously.
“What I mean,” Loki said, clearly reaching the end of his own fuse, “is that you should respect her wish for silence on this matter. Perhaps you think friendship gives you the right to interfere. Let me be perfectly clear: her life is her own to live. If she has asked for your silence, or for you to leave, as her friend it is your duty to obey. She is no danger.”
Either Erin managed to drag the mutant away, or Loki simply shut the door in her face. However he managed it, he was at Ani’s side now gently running his fingers over her skin. She curled into his touch, wishing she did not need to face any of it.
“Why is this happening?” Ani asked him, pleading for him to tell her it could be reversed.
“Your change nears,” Loki said, petting her hair. “This stress you have taken on only adds to the natural tension your body feels trying to maintain its human guise. I wondered if it would not break through soon, but even I had not realized it would be so easily shattered.”
“I can’t go out there like this!” Ani shuddered. “It’s not at all a good idea.”
Shaking his head slowly, Loki told her, “I do not believe this will revert so simply. Your body is preparing for the transition, and it will fluctuate in response.”
“Loki, I don’t actually want an explanation right this minute.”
With a sigh, he said, “I know that well, my Ani. However, I cannot tell you it will simply pass on its own. It has been far too long since you assumed your natural form, thus it is not remarkable that your control is less than perfect.”
“Can you do anything? I can’t be seen like this! The mutants will think I’m mocking them, and you said SHIELD is ready to jump me as soon as it looks like I know what I am. I’m pretty sure this is more or less a good indicator that I do.” Ani squirmed, and then added, “And I’m so ugly.”
He peered at her, as if trying to discern whether or not she was joking. “What do you mean, my own? You look-”
“Like a monster,” she finished for him. “Like the monster.”
Understanding dawned for him, and he pulled her in close. “Nothing like a monster, my Ani. That is one thing you could never be. You know this.”
Wordless, Ani clung to him. If that was so true, why had she even been called the monster? What could she do to stop being one? Her fingers dug into the fabric of his suit as she tried to blot out the awful memories. Fighting back, the nasty little whispers inside of her mind reminded her that her father had abandoned her rather than stay with her.
“I believe,” Loki murmured into her hair, “you need further convincing that what I say is true.”
Carefully, he pushed her back from him and used his right hand to raise her chin. It was shockingly cold and she pulled back by instinct. Looking up at him to remark on the coldness, she gasped in surprise.
He was. . . well, blue. Not quite the same blue as her mother had been, but something quite close in hue, perhaps a shade or two darker. Strange raised patterns swooped down his forehead, meeting two vertical lines coming from the center of his hairline, forming almost a crown. And his eyes were red, from “whites” to iris. His pupils had stayed a normal black. Only his hair remained as she knew it, black locks hanging to his shoulders.
“You see?” he said quietly. “I am the monster between us.”
“Monster? But, Loki,” she protested in surprise, “You’re beautiful!”
He seemed taken aback. “What?”
Shyly, Ani held out her hand to his cheek. “You know blue is my second favorite color.”
“This is not a time for jests,” he growled, but she stubbornly insisted,
“I am not kidding around. You still look more handsome than should be allowed by law. But you’re so cold.” Ani shivered. He took her hand from his cheek and gently held it to his heart.
“As a Frost Giant, I cannot help that. Although you should know, not all of me is so chilly to the touch.”
Well, she certainly knew what that meant. None of it, however, was much more than a distraction. She was still a hideous freak.
“Come here,” he directed, pulling her from the chair and toward the mirror.
“I don’t want-”
“Hush.” Turning her to face her own reflection, Loki hugged her around her middle. “Look closely, my Ani. See yourself for who you truly are.”
“But-” She glanced away from the mirror, frightened. “I can’t.”
“You can,” he gently assured her. “I promise, nothing will hurt you. I am here with you.”
Slowly, with his hands lightly stroking hers, she turned her face to the glass. Instead of the monster she expected, Ani saw a tiny girl. Like Ani now, she had white skin with golden shimmering marks. Big blue eyes were fixed on a beautiful adult woman, stroking her fluffy white hair. That woman was-
“To your mother, my own, you were a precious gift. Her only child, alive and whole- what could be more special? And it was a double blessing that you were so beautiful. Look how sweet you looked in her arms.”
Now the tiny child was cradled in her mother’s arms, white skin beside blue, golden markings almost overlapping. She snuggled in with an inaudible sigh of contentment, even as her mother’s lips curled into a smile. Though there was no sound, she almost caught the strains of a song long since lost to time. The picture blurred for Ani- why could she not remember?
Pulling her back against him more firmly, Loki said softly, “You were never a monster, my Ani. Do not be misled by the true monsters.”
Ducking her head to scrub at her eyes, Ani whispered, “Thank you.”
“Now, look at yourself,” he directed tenderly. “See what I see.”
Still hesitant, Ani allowed Loki to lift her chin. For a brief moment she met his eyes in the mirror, and then she was taking in the whole picture. With a shudder, Ani tried to find the inner strength to overcome a lifetime of loathing she had forgotten about. Loki’s firm grip held her in place, even as she shivered. He could not force her to look at the reflection, but there was no need. Somehow, she could not look away.
The girl in the mirror resembled Ani only in shape and eye color. Her skin, hair, and even her ears had all changed. Instead of the usual pale peach tone, her skin was glowing white, with golden swirling markings that were more than a little reminiscent of the tattoo Loki had given her. It was pretty, sort of. Her hair, though! More or less the same poofy circle of a dandelion head, it too was white, and amazingly fluffy. It clearly defied gravity to make the nearly perfect circle around her head, except for two pieces in the front, which partially covered her ears; not enough for her to miss their new appearance, however.
Instead of being “normal,” they were all but gone. Only two small holes for her ear canal remained. So much for earrings, she thought calmly and then was appalled by how cool she was about it all. Before she could panic again, Loki gently squeezed her.
“This is who you truly are, my own. Something built to perfection, not a monster as they have implied. I know it has been long years since you saw yourself this way, but what you see is real.”
“But-” Ani paused, and then turned her head to look up at him, “But it isn’t. . . what people expect.”
“Expectations rarely perfectly meet reality, my Ani.” Loki’s smirk was full of smug satisfaction. “Only I have been so fortunate to have a lover as beautiful as I longed for.”
“But you’ve never- we haven’t- not while I-”
Leaning in dangerously close, he murmured, “Oh, but I have, my own. When I claim your body, I have no illusions before me: only your glorious figure bared for my eyes alone.”
As promised, his lips were not as icy as the rest of him seemed to be. The longer he kissed her, the warmer Ani became, all over. He coaxed her lips apart and slid his hot tongue into her mouth right at the moment she realized she was still dressed only in her underwear. This could lead somewhere all together more interesting than she was prepared for.
Loki broke away then, running an icy finger down her cheek. “You need to finish your preparations, my heart’s own. No matter how much I yearn to test your theory that I am equally desirable in this guise, I know how much you hope to accomplish tonight. I will not stand in your way, but by your side.”
She could drown in that kind of sincerity, Ani thought as she curled in against him. Words like that were his undeniable gift, but his honesty passion made them even more precious. Trying to settle her clamouring nerves, she took a few deep breaths while he stroked her ridiculously fluffy hair. He murmured,
“You can do this, my Ani. Have faith, as I do. You have such heart.”
“But this is a mess,” she said with a heavy sigh, running her fingers through the fluff on her head. “No way will anyone out there would call this professional. Except Stark and his opinion is not valid.”
Lips tugging up into a crooked smile, Loki teased, “You are far too focused on appearances, vain creature. However, I do believe I can assist you with this problem. It is much more trainable than it initially appears. Slip into that delightful gown and I will show you.”
“I thought you preferred when I took off clothes,” Ani simply had to tease as she picked up the dress. Loki came up behind her, returned to his more human form. Leaning in close, he slid his hands along her sides, hinting with his light touch that he had a plethora of uses for her body.
“Fear not, my pet,” he purred into her hair, sending chills down her spine, “I will have it off you again the moment I tire of it.”
***