I'll take you deeper and strip you of salvation; It's a crusade to bring you to your knees
“Look here Stark, I'm not a goddamned Vet. I don't MAKE housecalls. But Agent Barton tells me you've been messing around with things that don't concern you, and you told a bunch of people who don't need to know. Now I don't want to make a big deal out of this, but you are going to conveniently forget everything you learned about Miss Coulson's heritage.”
“. . . I really need to talk to JARVIS about that revolving door.” Stark eyed his workroom suspiciously. Director Fury did not appear to have touched anything, but appearances could be deceiving, especially when it came to a man who was practically the sole dictator of the known world’s every move.
“Don’t mess with me Stark. You are going to drop everything you have on Miss Coulson immediately.”
“First of all, I’m not messing with you- no pinatas are involved at this moment. Second of all, does she know? I mean, the fact that she’s-”
“How would you like me to put it to her? No,” Director Fury corrected himself, “How would you like to put it? Because it’s all about you, and it always will be. That’s fine. I can handle your ego, but can she? I seem to recall you bungling things regarding Coulson and that pushed her to the very brink of suicide.”
“Uh, you pushed her there first,” Stark pointed out, although it was a cheap shot. “You totally told her nothing about-”
“Her situation was being carefully monitored, Stark. When she was in a good place, we would let her know the rest of the story, carefully. You may not have noticed, but until you came along, she had no suspicion that her father was anything other than a deeply loving individual whom she had lost at an early age. She was doing better than she had in years. And then you came swanning in, confusing her and bringing up the possibility that there were things about Coulson that she didn’t know. And look how well that turned out.”
“Hey, I never lied to her in the first place.”
“You lied to save face for Coulson. Don’t deny it.” Fury shook his bald head. “But then you got it into your head to start making up for all the time he’d been away by buying her things and meddling in her life. Also, if you could stop buying her lingerie, I’d really appreciate it. That’s not the sort of thing a man wants to read over his morning coffee and maybe your new interest is not going to happily carve you up into tiny pieces and feed you to the sharks. Although that might pass an afternoon.”
“I don’t think she’d share.”
“I’ll get video from Miss Serrington. It’s her style. But that is beside the point. The point is Miss Coulson, for her own mental health and safety, needs you to back off.”
“Hey, why do you never say her name? I mean, I get the whole pseudo-military mentality you guys have going, but Phillipa isn’t one of you. She doesn’t even contract for you.”
“Don’t you even start with me, Stark. I haven’t been here five minutes and I’m already tired of your mouth. Now, if you could avoid doing any more damage for the next few days,” and the director’s tone could have cut steel, “I would damn well appreciate it.”
“Aw, come on-”
“I mean it, Stark! One more screw up because of your big mouth and I will move Miss Coulson well out of your reach, for her own well being.”
So much for being friendly, thought Tony as Nick Fury strode out. Say what you like, the director of SHIELD knew how to make an angry exit. Not that he was exactly entitled to be upset, given that he was the reason poor Phillipa knew so little about her father and her own past that everyone who knew anything was walking on eggshells in every conversation.
This was why Stark did not like getting to know people. It meant having to watch his mouth, something which he had never been skilled in. Besides, everyone said that real friends always told the truth, no matter how it might hurt. Stark never found himself telling the whole truth to
anyone. Neither, however, did he lie about anything truly important.
See, that was the difference between him and Nick Fury. If Cap had not stopped him, Stark would have blurted out the truth about Phil’s death and things would have been a hell of a lot better now. There was the off chance that Phillipa would have wanted nothing to do with them afterwards, but she was a forgiving sort. And she would have been better off knowing it at once. Secrets had a way of revealing themselves, so Stark rarely had any. Never mind that he was really bad at keeping them- he would simply rather not tell lies.
Of course, he thought with uncharacteristic sharpness, he had lied to Pepper when he thought he was killing himself with radiation from the arc reactor. It was fairly certain that would be one of the gripes she might have already shared with Ren. But Pepper could not handle that kind of thing, which was why he had held back. Not that others had, and damn it but he had screwed up with her more than with anyone else. She really was not the kind of person he could tell the heavy stuff to and he was pretty sure that more than anything had torn them apart.
Ren was, though. If he was dying of being a moron, he could tell her and she would accept it for what it was. She might kill him herself, of course, but what was a relationship without a little danger? The beautiful thing about her, aside from her fantastic body, was that she was ready for all this superhero stuff. Not that, Tony quickly reminded himself, it would be any kind of good idea to make her a suit of her own. Yet.
Unfortunately, it probably was not a good idea to tell little Phil about her uncertain paternity either. Clint had run that thought right into the ground, along with Domino, Ren, and Steve all very loudly explaining what an idiot he was. Both Natasha and Banner had shaken their heads vehemently. But it was someone else who convinced him.
Lexi had said very quietly, “You’ll break her heart.”
That was all Stark needed to know, really. Maybe little Phil was no longer a card-carrying member of the Coulson-Is-The-Best-Daddy-Ever Club, but he was still her father- to her. Stark had only lost his father once. By his count, Phillipa had lost hers twice. He did not want to be the cause of loss number three. He just wished- well, he could wish until the cows came home, he supposed, but it would not do any good. What he ought to do now was sit tight, let her rail against his assistance in her purchase of clothing, and hope that somehow this whole strange mess would unravel into something that made sense.
As if anything SHIELD did ever made sense.
***
Phillipa was possibly more excited to see Loki again than she ought to have been. Still, when he slipped his arms around her waist from behind and kissed her cheek by way of greeting, her heart leapt and she felt a goofy smile instantly form on her lips. He was here!
Hands gentle, Loki turned her for more soft kisses. “I missed you all day,” he confessed quietly, and she was so embarrassed that she hid her face in his chest for a moment. He was wearing his white button-up shirt again, which she always found so attractive on him. With him so near, she felt herself relax. Just his very scent comforted her.
“I missed you, too,” she replied when she recovered some poise. He smiled.
“I watched you, briefly. I must confess, you were quite,” and here he paused to lean in until his lips were over her left ear, “Arousing.”
Blushing furiously, Phillipa wondered if she would ever stop being so shy about their sex life. Loki, on the other hand, seemed to relish her embarrassment. Placing a kiss on her forehead, he pulled her in closer, encouraging her to curl in against him. Sighing happily, Phillipa relaxed into his embrace.
“Now then, my own,” Loki murmured after a time, “Shall we remain here tonight?”
Surprised, Phillipa looked up. “What do you mean?”
Smiling into her eyes, he said, “You might enjoy a little time with me outside of this room.”
“Oh.”
Expression turning darkly seductive, Loki asked in a deeper voice, “Or perhaps you would prefer more time on your sheets? Does your lust overpower my suggestion in your mind?”
“Um,” Phillipa wittily answered.
His chuckle sent shivers up her spine. “We will return to your bed, I promise you. For now, however, live in anticipation.”
As last night, he wrapped them in the strange shadowy world to leave her apartment. But once they were on the streets outside, he let them return. Taking her arm in his- a gesture which set her heart fluttering- Loki quietly guided her toward Central Park. It was not exactly safe at night, no matter what people said. Somehow, at his side, Phillipa was unconcerned.
As they walked the paths, Loki placed his hand over hers. “I have something for you, as an apology.”
“But-” Phillipa began to protest. Leaning down slightly, he covered her lips with his to hush her.
“I have done you a disservice, my own. Let me repair the damage properly. I love you too much,” he added in a whisper, “To know that I have marred any piece of you.”
Taking her hand again, he lifted it and blew gently on the black snakes that she had managed to hide by serious misdirection and concealer for over a week now. They moved, twisting up to silently hiss at him before vanishing. In their place a fine golden vine blossomed. Recognizing the pattern from the paddle, Phillipa goggled at the change. It climbed from her hand all the way up her arm, twisting and sprouting leaves and flowers.
“Do you know that your people call this hand ‘the hand of the heart?’ Like humans, your heart is slightly more toward the left side of your body.” To her horror, Loki pulled on the neckline of her moderately low-cut shirt to expose her chest, all the while still talking. “This is the hand which they make their vows with, because the heart is responsible for the mind. It is the hand which children first reach with, regardless of their latter preferences. And when the change comes to you, my Ani, it will be the one you will use to reach for your future.”
As the vine ended in delicate curl around the area where her heart must be, Loki said in her ear, “This will be my vow, Ani, made where none can alter it. You will be mine and no one will ever stop my love.”
Before she could upbraid him about exposing her in public, he brought her in against him. Once more, she melted. How could she help it? It was as if he was the only thing in the world that mattered. In a way, it was true. With her father really gone, Loki was her sole chance at the love that had deserted her long ago.
“Now, shall we view something more becoming to you than this setting?” suggested Loki with a slight hint of smirk in his smile.
“What do you mean?” Phillipa asked, but even as she spoke the scene around them was changing.
The bushes and trees had disappeared. Instead, they stood together in a vast field of flowers- alpine ones, if she was any judge. Staring around at the panorama of mountains, a distant lake or ocean and towering clouds colored by the light of early dawn, Phillipa felt as if she must be cold. Yet, she was perfectly warm.
“Where are we?” she asked Loki softly, too awed to even raise her voice.
“Norway,” he answered. “Once Asgardians and Norsemen were allies, and while my so-called father debated and ordered them about, I spent much time here. This was my mother’s favorite place.”
“It is beautiful,” Phillipa acknowledged. “Loki, why do you love your mother so, but hate your father?”
“He is not my father,” Loki reminded her with a trace of anger in his voice. It mellowed as he said quietly, “But Frigga was a better mother than my own. She never abandoned me.”
“Why do you stay in Asgard?” Phillipa gestured vaguely at the beauty that surrounded them. “You could be anywhere.”
“And leave them in chaos? My father- the one whom they all regard so highly- vanished in the midst of their most desperate hour. You recall the trouble not so long ago in the human city of London?”
“Yes, it was all over the news last month- that and the people who went crazy afterward, thinking they were gods.”
“Typical human behavior,” snorted Loki in dismissal. “But the trouble in London was greater than some would have you know. Malekith, leader of the Dark Elves had found the Aether once more, and intended to use it to destroy all of the nine connected realms- Midgard included. I tried to help my fool of a brother stop him, but his plan was doomed from the start. Seeing that I could not assist, I allowed myself to be critically injured, and feigned death. That gave him the motivation he needed to end Malekith.”
“So he doesn’t know you’re alive?”
Shaking his head, Loki told her softly, “I would rather he had the freedom to think of me as dead. In death, he can remember better times between us. I had intended to leave the nine realms entirely, but when I returned to Asgard to bring the news of my ‘death’ to the All-Father, he walked away.”
“Walked away?” repeated Phillipa. “You mean when Malekith was stopped?”
“Nothing was yet over,” Loki said, irritation plainly showing. “The realms were merging, Malekith was loose, my brother not yet victorious, and Asgard terribly vulnerable- and yet he simply stepped down from his throne and left. No explanation, no timeline as to his return- he abandoned his people in their hour of need!”
“But, I sort of thought you were, uh, in deep trouble with them? So why did they let you take over?”
“I suspect you can guess.”
Horrified, Phillipa blurted out, “You have to be kidding! Loki, if they find out-”
“They will not,” he assured her. “My intention is to remove myself from the throne the moment Asgard is restored.”
Still aghast, Phillipa asked softly, “But why, Loki? It doesn’t make any sense. If you hate him so much-”
“I do not do it for his sake!” snapped Loki. “I did it for the innocent Asgardians he walked away from. . . and for Thor.”
“Your brother?”
Turning away from her, Loki spoke more quietly. “If I do not remain on the throne in the guise of the All-Father, he will be forced to return and never see the woman he loves again. I have taken enough from him.”
“What do you mean?”
“Thor is in love with a mortal woman,” explained Loki. “It is impossible for him to wed her as King of Asgard. I know what it is to love one you may never have. I would spare him that pain.”
“But-” Hesitantly, Phillipa said, “You may have me now. Right?”
“There are. . . certain hurdles yet.”
“Well, you might have mentioned that before,” Phillipa noted, upset at the thought that they could not yet be together, even in his world. “Is it because I’m not Asgardian?”
Taking her hands in his own, Loki insisted, “Let me tend to these things, my own. They are not for you to fret over. I swear to you, our time will come.”
Reluctantly, Phillipa let that slip from the conversation. Loki would not give her more than that at the moment; that much was clear. Tonight, she wanted just to enjoy his company. At any moment, this could slip away. She needed to savor it for as long as possible.
Together, they turned to watch the sun begin its slow ascent from behind the mountains. Loki slipped an arm around her waist once more, and she curled in against him. Warm enough for now, she still wanted to feel his body heat through her clothes. For a long while they said nothing, and the only sounds were natural. Birds could be immensely noisy, Phillipa noted. Whoever said the dawn chorus was beautiful music clearly had never heard them all go mad at once.
“Obnoxious, is it not?” Loki said, with a bit of a smirk.
Phillipa laughed. “Horrible.”
“I admit it clashes with the scenery,” he continued, amused. “But this was a refuge of mine, long ago. I doubt I paid much mind to them then, of course. Children can be remarkably blind and deaf to the world.”
“And people,” Phillipa added softly, thinking of her father.
“Ah, but children are self-centered by nature and necessity,” Loki reminded her. “If they paid more attention to others than themselves, they would never discover their own abilities.”
“Do you want children?” Phillipa asked, and surprised herself.
Loki seemed even more startled than she was. “What?”
Quickly, Phillipa backed and filled. “I meant, you know, eventually. Not right now, of course. I mean we haven’t even gotten close to- er, never mind. It’s just a question.”
“And yet, you posed it,” Loki said, staring at her intently. “There must be a purpose.”
“Um, you were talking about children?”
Using his hand on her waist to turn her toward him, he looked down at her with a curious gleam in his eyes. “I was making note of what children are like. You asked me if I desired them, which is a very different subject indeed.
“Perhaps,” he breathed, pulling her in sharply against him, “Your mind is not on whether or not I wish children in the future, but whether or not I wish to make them with you at this very moment. Is this what you desire?”
“Not out here,” Phillipa squeaked. “Someone might see us.”
“So you do wish me to bed you properly,” Loki purred, ignoring her protestations.
“Well, I- obviously, I would like it, but-”
Putting a finger to her lips, he murmured, “You do not yet know half the pleasure I can give you, my own. Am correct in thinking that this is knowledge you wish to gain? Does the thought of my cock deep inside of you fill you with desire? Do you crave it?”
His other hand was already rubbing against her pussy through her clothes, and it was more than enough to have Phillipa bucking in response. How the hell did he do it? Why did he always know exactly what to say to have her mind turned to mush? And why did they always end up doing everything on his schedule?
“Loki, I really mean it,” Phillipa said, although it came out much less firm than she intended. “Not here, please.”
“And where shall I ravish you, then?” he asked, lips tracing the shell of her ear. “Where do you wish me to take you next?”
“Home, please,” Phillipa answered quietly. She put her hand on his cheek. “I have something I want to show you.”
“Oh? You intrigue me,” Loki murmured. Releasing her from his more. . . sensual attentions, he took her hand from his cheek, kissing her palm softly. The world around them changed yet again, reforming itself into the shape of her living room.
Slipping away from him, Phillipa hurried to the bathroom. Barely able to believe she intended to do this, she stripped. She caught sight of her blush in the mirror and had to take a moment to breathe properly. She wanted to do this. If it would make her an equal partner in their sex life, this time she was going to do it on purpose. Taking another deep breath, she reached for what she had left here earlier, just in case of such a moment.
When she stuck her head out of the bathroom a moment later, she could hear him moving in the bedroom. At least, it had better be him. None of SHIELD’s spies particularly needed to see her right now. It was hard enough to get up the courage to let Loki ogle her. He had left the lights off, though, so perhaps he would hardly see much.
Since she had absolutely no idea how to be sensual, Phillipa settled for simply walking in. To her mild disappointment, Loki had already removed his shirt and tie. She loved the way he looked in them: clean cut and yet somehow still ruthless. He was looking out of her window. Not able to summon the strength of mind to say anything sexy, Phillipa settled for walking up behind him and reaching out to touch his bare shoulder.
“This looks promising,” he said after a long moment filled with anxiety for her. Twisting his fingers, he summoned a ball of soft orange light which filled the room with its gentle radiance. Brushing her hair back over her shoulder, Loki studied her intently. After a time, the globe settled independently in the air over them both. Both of his hands now free, Loki ran his fingers over the outlines of her curves. He was obviously enjoying driving her insane.
“You purchased more naughty clothing just for me?” he inquired.
Face burning, Phillipa defended herself guiltily, “I thought it was pretty!”
“Lovely indeed. And you have kept your heart bare.”
More than that, honestly. The brown underbust corset left her whole bust exposed- hence the name of the design. Without Lexi, however, she might not have realized this could be attractive all on its own. Fortunately, Loki appeared to agree with this assessment, tracing the gold brocade pattern very lightly. She might have expected him to pay more attention to her bare skin.
“You said you wanted that,” Phillipa mumbled in reply to his comment, looking up through her lashes at him just in time to see his brilliant grin.
“I love it, Ani. You need not fear that I would ever dislike such a display of your more than adequate charms.”
“Are you saying I’m fat?” Phillipa asked, far more boldly than she would have expected when dressed in nothing more than a short corset and underpants.
Chuckling, Loki kissed her lips gently. “My Ani, you are meant to be well nourished. How else can you expect to survive the change? Besides, I very much admire these plush curves.”
Now he became serious, kissing down her neck to nip at the base of her throat. As she caught her breath in a gasp, he licked the divot of flesh in her collarbone. His lips moved on, claiming her left breast as his hands pulled her in closer so that he could hold her still. Breathless from his attentions, Phillipa put her hands in his hair, letting them tangle in his incredibly soft locks. His hair, she thought briefly, was nicer than hers.
Further thoughts on those lines were quickly drowned out by his clever fingers slipping between her legs. Meanwhile, he was sucking tenderly on her nipple. He was quick to have her at his mercy, like always. She could not complain, knowing that she had certainly been asking for just this.
“My, look how wet you are,” Loki remarked as he fingered her clitoris through her panties. “I wonder what has brought this on.”
“You did,” Phillipa gasped out, trying to hold her hips still in vain. He simply knew her body too well for her to stand a chance.
Biting her shoulder teasingly, Loki asked, “And does that please you?”
“Yes,” admitted Phillipa, giving in to her longing to assist him with her own body.
As he so often did, he brought her to the point of release only to halt there. “Is that all that pleases you, my Ani? Or is it the thrill of dressing so lewdly in the hopes of enticing me to sample your flesh?”
Considering what she had been wearing the first time they had been together, Phillipa doubted she had to tempt him too hard. He seemed more than willing, on the other hand, to keep her naked, or nearly naked, all the time. It was like a hobby.
“I just wanted to please you,” she told him softly.
“You do worry over such little things,” Loki noted scoldingly. “My own, how could you ever fail to please me? Your very presence arouses me, in more than the mere literal sense. This garment, while a very pleasing surprise, is not necessary to entice me into your arms.”
“But you do like it?”
Taking her hand in his, he guided her to touch his very hard cock. “Feel how much for yourself.”
Obviously she owed Lexi some gratitude for the suggestion. For the moment, however, Phillipa was concentrating fully on his warm and stiff penis. Once he released her hand, she was quick to undo his pants. She wanted to feel him without anything in the way. As he stepped out of the trousers, he peeled off her panties as well, clearly thinking much the same thing.
“Let us play together,” he suggested, pulling her down to the bed on top of him. “Try to keep up with me.”
He was quick to take advantage of his earlier lead, fingers slipping inside of her wet pussy as he urged her to ride them. It took all of her concentration to keep pace by stroking his cock. Somehow it never seemed to slow him down as much as his finger over her clitoris could. Still, when she rubbed her thumb just below where the head of his cock met the shaft his groan was very loud. She wished that she could suck him off, but tonight seemed to be for hands alone.
His lead gave him the edge. Despite thinking to cup and roll his balls in her hand, Phillipa still climaxed before Loki, courtesy of her overly sensitive clit and his surprisingly clever fingers. As she came back to earth, he tenderly kissed and nuzzled her neck. Sweetly, he let her regain her breath before suggesting via his fingers that the play was not nearly complete.
“Come and ride me,” Loki invited, and she carefully settled astride his hips.
“Will you fuck me?” she asked softly. “I want it.”
With a tender kiss behind her ear, he whispered, “Soon, my own. Very soon, I believe. For now, content yourself with the feel of my seed on your hot skin. Tremble over my cock as you will when I take you at last, your whole body pleading for a release which only I can give. Savor this moment, Ani; savor your lust and your release.”
Thanks to his very arousing speech, delivered to her ear with his hot breath, Phillipa was immediately on track for another orgasm. The feel of his hard cock sliding easily between her lower lips, his hands using her new corset for a grip on her waist, the way they both caught their breath at the end of each thrust of his hips, the kisses they shared- there was nothing to stop them both from losing their minds in passion. Now Loki came first, in mid-thrust, so that his semen made her even slicker. As he groaned deep in his throat, her alien name on his tongue, Phillipa closed her eyes and gave in to her second climax.
Panting heavily, they curled up together on the bed, heads on her pillows. Loki’s globe of light popped out of existence at a gesture, and another had the blankets- tossed to the floor before Phillipa had even come in- over them as perfectly as if a mother had come to tuck them both in. Head tucked on his shoulder, she kissed his jawline until he turned his head to return the favor. Slowly, their hearts ceased to race and returned to a normal rhythm. The room grew quiet.
“Loki,” she whispered into the dark as they settled in, spurred on by an earlier thought. “Will you tell me about my mother?”
Turning his body so that his other hand could reach across to brush her hair from her face, Loki murmured gently, “Of course, my own. Anything for you. I love you.”
Happiness bubbling away inside of her, threatening to turn to tears at any moment, Phillipa whispered back, “I love you, too.”
Adjusting their position until they were both mutually comfortable, he asked in a wonderfully tender tone, “What do you wish to know?”
She knew as he began to describe her mother that she would never need to doubt his devotion again. They had crossed a threshold- past anger, and grief, and lies told out of fear- into real adoration. Now he had told her that he loved her, without hesitation or artifice. It was a simple declaration, made well after passion had subsided. Finally, she could believe in a tenderness that was for her alone. This was not friendship, nor guilt, nor business. Here, at last, was love.
***