I trust the Universe.

[chish_and_fips]

<3

Comments

[infunitie]

Why? It's such a cruel and unforgiving thing, it doesn't deserve such faith.

[chish_and_fips]

The Universe is just going to have its way with me anyway, so I give.

[chish_and_fips]

Why is everyone so negative anyway?

</3

[infunitie]

After a lifetime of wanting Love, desire, companionship and understanding, after giving so much of myself to so many, only to find myself rejected, reviled, rebuked and ignored...

To know that I will likely never know even the tiny pleasures others so often take for granted...

Something in me resists these truths. So, -- almost paradoxically -- I am negative right now because hope still has its awful stranglehold on me.

I would rather feel bad than cold, numb, or unfeeling. I prefer the truth of this feeling, to manufacturing an artificial positivity.

Re: </3

[chish_and_fips]

Well then.

Re: </3

[infunitie]

I don't know what you mean by this, if anything.

Re: &lt;/3

[chish_and_fips]

I don't appreciate negativity... perhaps as little as you appreciate positivity.

Re: </3

[infunitie]

That's not exactly accurate...

I'm in so much pain right now, I can't see the happy. Or can't bear to see it... And I won't pretend everything's fine, or fake the emotion -- with you especially.

I Love You, and it hurts.