Hygiene
Hygiene.
I haven't been keeping up,
I haven't been keeping clean.
Today,
I attempted to wash myself of it all.
I soaked in my paim,
swallowed some of it even,
And spit the rest the fuck out.
I scrubbed each and ever spot he's touched.
Kissed.
Hugged.
Needed.
Lusted Over.
Along with my feelings,
my skin is raw.
I don't want to lust anymore,
obviously things got a little too dirty.
there were no bubbles to play in this time.
no rubber duckies or naked barbies,
Just Me.
And the misery I have been trying to rid myself of;
Oh, and the boiling hot water.
I don't think I make things hard on myself;
I think you make things hard on me.
Every truth I discover,
You take it. Turn it around. Create a lie of it. And blame it on me.
Innocent until Proven Guilty.
I do admit I've engaged in some things that have hurt you,
have hurt me...have hurt "us", However, I set those things free a long time ago.
It may be hard to believe, but
your assumptions are false.
Sometimes, I don't know what goes on inside of your head.
You intrigue me,
But now my feelings are hurt, and it complicates things.
God Dammnit, why does everything have to be so complex these days?
We could have made it simple.
Me and You.
We still can make it simple, I think.
I'll be a big girl,
And I'll want what is best for you,
regardless if I suffer or not.
Along with that,
I'll throw in a Get-Better-Bear Lollipop.
I don't think you'll ever get it.
So many have simply been a waste of my time.
You were supposed to be different.