Poison
There is a lot to write about. I'll get the easy thing out of the way first. Since this is the month of July's first entry, I'll give a link for this month's Salvador Dalí painting entitled "Old Age, Adolescence, Infancy." (Click the painting you see on that page for a larger view.) I like this piece a lot. It sparks the mind and challenges it to visualize things both apparent and hidden, explicit and implicit. A painting like this has the potential to awaken the ineffable component within our minds that likes to contemplate nonsensical and abstract imagery, despite how obvious things might at first seem. It doesn't replace "Singularities" as my all-time favorite, but it is easily part of my top 10 favorite Dalí works.
Back on Tuesday the 5th, Stan was permanently relieved of duty due to, I assume, an excessive amount of unexcused absences. It could be for a different reason; I do not know. But in any case, as a result of this, there are now only two certified machine operators for the night shift during the summer. One of which only stays for four hours each day, and the other is a supervisor and technically is not allowed to use the machines. So, I have been appointed to be a new machine operator due to the facts that I am the only other full time employee, have been there for at least a year, and have previous experience with the machines in question (forklifts and the like). My training will begin on Tuesday the 12th at about 1330 hours. I'm kind of looking forward to it (and the pay raise that probably might go along with it as well). More updates as the events happen...
Anyway, I had a strange series of dreams Saturday morning. I'm not sure whether to call it all one whole dream or a whole bunch of dream clusters because, even though the cluster happened during one session of shut-eye, there were wildly different people, events, and so forth. I'll let you be the judge, then...
Dream segment one began with me in first person perspective. I observed my surroundings and found nothing eye catching. So, I just looked at the ground, which was wooden. In fact, the whole building I found myself in was wooden. I was actually quite bored as the seconds passed, but saw no reason to leave the room I was in. Then, I noticed something in the corner of my eye. I turned my glance slightly. On the edge of a nearby doorway was a black smudge. The smudge seemed to be moving, contorting, growing, morphing, stretching, flailing... Nothing I had ever seen in my life behaved like that, so I cautiously got closer for a better look. It was pure black. No light reflected off it, no sound escaped it, and no good feelings came from it. I realized I was looking at the purest form of Evil to ever exist, and my heart skipped a beat. I began to slowly back away, careful to not make a sound. As if the tar-colored being could sense my fear and anxiety, it doubled its growth and started violently grasping at me all the while staying as silent as a gentle breeze. The terror I felt was astounding. Quickly, I backed away and was barely missed by its tentacles, claws, and other extremedies it was rapidly forming. Unable to turn away, all I could do was look at it and back away until I inevitably hit a wall. At that precise moment, my legs failed and I hit the floor. The monster instantly filled half the room, and a sound that can only be described as wicked chaos threatened to tear my brain apart. If I had to describe it, I would say that its appearance most closely resembled a cross between Tubifex Worms (look it up on youtube if you want, but be warned: IT'S DISGUSTING) and the sharpest black sea urchin you can think of. As for the sound I heard, I guess it most closely resembled an amplified version of somebody furiously screaming at the top of their lungs underwater combined with the deafening roar you hear while standing right next to a high speed steel roller coaster. The strangest part is that after the initial terror and helplessness I felt, I began to welcome it and feel attracted to it. My horror turned into intrigue into desire for whatever power this was. I began to laugh the most evil laugh I ever thought I could pull off and felt the most powerful evil craving for destruction and havoc. And just as I was approaching the amorphous blob to accept its powers, I heard a voice say, "Yes! The era of Valmar is at hand!" And with that, I was catapulted out of the immersion of the dream. As soon as I heard that name, I realized I was dreaming. Valmar? I thought to myself, You mean that evil god from Grandia 2 who kind of looked like an overgrown moth? This black thing looks nothing like Valmar! And that's where that dream ended. I think I remember waking up with a feeling of terror and evil coupled with a hint of pleasure. But I quickly went back to sleep.
Dream segment two was also in first person. I was driving a car in a city that closely resembled Freehold or Hamilton: somewhere with a lot of little shops, intersections, and people in one close area. Mom was in the passenger seat. We encountered a Wawa and agreed that we should stop to stretch our legs and get some snacks. I got my items and waited in the parking lot for her. In the blink of an eye, early afternoon turned into mid-evening. All the people and cars that were roaming the streets and sidewalks had vanished. Wawa was still open, but only the employees were inside. So, I took out my cell phone and tried calling her. She didn't pick up. I was about to try again when Steve, a good friend of mine from Stockton, called. As if nothing were wrong, I answered the call and began chatting about something I don't remember. We exchanged jokes and made plans to hang out later that week. As soon as I hung up the phone, I found myself in my car again except all by myself. My brother might have been in the passenger seat; I'm not sure. At this point, we were in a community more like Princeton or New Brunswick: somewhere that has a college campus intertwined with bars, shops, and so forth. I don't know how I got into this situation, but I was forced off the road and ended up driving my car up stairs where other people were walking- narrowly missing pedestrians, dodging handrails, and powersliding around turns. It felt like I was playing Crazy Taxi. And just like in Crazy Taxi, the people get angry at first when you almost hit them, but quickly forget about it and go about their business. And never once did it occur to me to stop the vehicle! So, I zipped up stairs, across sidewalks, and around people with an almost alarming degree of calmness and professionalism. That is, until I collided with a curb. This curb must have been made of dynamite or something because as soon as I hit it, the car I was driving was launched into the stratosphere. I even felt the pressure against my chest similar to what you feel when you are swiftly going up an incline on a roller coaster or an airplane. Higher and higher the car tumbled and all the while I'm laughing. That's pretty much where that segment ends.
Dream segment three was in first person also. This one is harder to explain. There was barely any dialogue or events of note to mention. For the most part, it was me exploring a GIGANTIC house I've never been in before belonging to someone I've never met before. Many times when I have dreams that locate me inside a building, I can typically relate it to a real-life place I've been to or at least seen in the past. But this mansion seemed to be a completely original creation. The more I think about it, the more it reminds me of Constantine's mansion from the computer game Thief: The Dark Project (I still have not beaten that game yet.) Anyway, I spent most of this dream just giving myself a tour of this expansive home getting myself more and more lost with each new hallway and room I explored. In an attempt to leave a 'trail of breadcrumbs,' I paid special attention to the bathrooms that I encountered just so I could have a landmark and know which way I should go next if I should ever pass it by again. Well, it didn't work because I kept finding the same three bathrooms over and over again with zero indication of how to get back to the first floor. Eventually, I guessed my way into the master bedroom and decided to just stay there until its owner came by. Sure enough, he did and greeted me as if he had known me for decades. He took me on a proper tour of his huge house and showed me little gizmos and doodads that were scattered about the house. Then he told me that there were three bathrooms in the house. I already knew that as a result of my previous exploring, but I still acted surprised and exclaimed, "Three bathrooms?! Wow, I only have one and a half in my house!" And then I woke up for good that day.
After I woke up, Heather called me to let me know that she would be at my house to pick me up at about 1445 hours so we could go to Brittany and Mark's housewarming party in the same car. Skipping the lengthy car ride, the party itself began rather slowly. There were people everywhere of all ages. From the very start, I noticed a small handful of kids no older than ten stalking us big kids to see what we do for fun. There was also a small handful of young teens sitting at a table all by themselves most likely talking about petty bullshit as was typically the case in high school. There were quite a few elderly people watching the baseball game, talking about the confounded technology these days, admiring the history they've witnessed and other stuff I used to laugh at when I was younger but am beginning to understand. There was also about as many middle aged people too old to be 'cool' yet too young to be 'uncool.' The Twilight Zone of life, as it were? But I have to hand it to Brittany and her family. They always ALWAYS have an awesome spread of food that is just delectable. Homemade meatball subs, pasta salad, coleslaw, green bean casserole, asparagus dip, homemade buffalo chicken dip, pineapple souffle, chips, cheese, crackers, vegetables, pretzels, and other stuff I cannot remember threatened to collapse the countertop... And there was just as much variety in the dessert arena: cake, brownies, cookies, cookie cake, a chocolate cake with bits of cookie on top, cannole crackers with spreadable filling, cupcakes, and I'm sure I've forgotten other stuff. But you get the idea. Food was bountiful and the celebration quickly got better as certain people started to leave/arrive.
I'll quickly mention that their new home was huge. 2500 square feet. Three bedrooms, a room on the edge of the house that served no purpose other than to suck up energy and hold a piano, rather large closets in every room that needed on, and three bathrooms (two and a half, in reality). It never once occurred to me that it vaguely resembled my dream during the whole party. There were too many distractions such as the obnoxiously crystal clear high definition television that made movies, shows and commercials appear TOO smooth, TOO realistic, and revealed every minute movement, feature, and detail of the footage, which ironically made it appear more artificial than immersive. Mark my words: I will NEVER purchase such an expensive television. Or if it cannot be helped, I will not utilize the HD. I'm sure there are lesser quality channels or an option to disable the fancy shmancy needlessly-smooth-o-vision. Plus, the alcohol was a welcomed distraction. Beer was not in abundance, so I resorted to mixing vodka with Sierra Mist, or Mountain Dew, or Diet Dr. Pepper. For that last one, make sure you pour in more vodka than normal to overpower that irritatingly distinguishable 'diet' flavor.
I'm getting ahead of myself, though. The later it got, the rowdier and more similar to a party (that I was accustomed to with these people, anyway) the gathering felt as the adults vanished and alcohol intake rose. There were plenty of cool people there: Heather, Liz, Alex, Brittany, Mark, and Schuman made up the people I knew beforehand. There were a bunch of new cool people too. Brittany and Jeni are Brittany's friends from high school. And Eric was Jeni's boyfriend. There were other people as well, but we were too involved in the game of Kings to introduce each other. Besides, it is unlikely that we will see one another again. Kings was fun. Afterwards was more eating, browsing through funny facebook photo albums, and more eating. Then, we watching movies as the drinking and the energy in the place drained to a stagnant pool of bleh. One of the movies was Zombieland, which was pretty cool. I'm glad I got to finally see it. The other movie was Hall Pass, which started out weak with the exposition that seemed to drag on forever, got better towards the middle as the two guys embarked on their embarrassing outings to find women, and just body-slammed itself back down to the ground at the end as soon as that angry ex-boyfriend guy took a crowbar to someone's minivan. Plus, it didn't help that the super modern TV made it seem like we were watching a 2-hour long episode of Full House, except with fewer morals and modern clothing. No matter. Despite the lack of detail I'm providing, the party was fun. Heather had to leave early at 0800 to make it to work on time Sunday morning, so we couldn't get rip-roaringly drunk. There really was no true reason to, though, I suppose. I would have liked to, but this might be what people call 'growing up,' who knows?
And speaking of which, seeing two of my friends beginning their lives with a full-blown house made me feel an artificial sense of urgency. I began thinking that I should also be moving away to have a place to call my own, to have bills, maintenance responsibilities, and other such grown-uply things to worry about. I felt inferior, pressured, and worthless despite there being no such sentiment towards me. My brain goes nuts sometimes, and there weren't that many foreign chemicals this time.
Hurricane season is coming.-
Bryan
Back on Tuesday the 5th, Stan was permanently relieved of duty due to, I assume, an excessive amount of unexcused absences. It could be for a different reason; I do not know. But in any case, as a result of this, there are now only two certified machine operators for the night shift during the summer. One of which only stays for four hours each day, and the other is a supervisor and technically is not allowed to use the machines. So, I have been appointed to be a new machine operator due to the facts that I am the only other full time employee, have been there for at least a year, and have previous experience with the machines in question (forklifts and the like). My training will begin on Tuesday the 12th at about 1330 hours. I'm kind of looking forward to it (and the pay raise that probably might go along with it as well). More updates as the events happen...
Anyway, I had a strange series of dreams Saturday morning. I'm not sure whether to call it all one whole dream or a whole bunch of dream clusters because, even though the cluster happened during one session of shut-eye, there were wildly different people, events, and so forth. I'll let you be the judge, then...
Dream segment one began with me in first person perspective. I observed my surroundings and found nothing eye catching. So, I just looked at the ground, which was wooden. In fact, the whole building I found myself in was wooden. I was actually quite bored as the seconds passed, but saw no reason to leave the room I was in. Then, I noticed something in the corner of my eye. I turned my glance slightly. On the edge of a nearby doorway was a black smudge. The smudge seemed to be moving, contorting, growing, morphing, stretching, flailing... Nothing I had ever seen in my life behaved like that, so I cautiously got closer for a better look. It was pure black. No light reflected off it, no sound escaped it, and no good feelings came from it. I realized I was looking at the purest form of Evil to ever exist, and my heart skipped a beat. I began to slowly back away, careful to not make a sound. As if the tar-colored being could sense my fear and anxiety, it doubled its growth and started violently grasping at me all the while staying as silent as a gentle breeze. The terror I felt was astounding. Quickly, I backed away and was barely missed by its tentacles, claws, and other extremedies it was rapidly forming. Unable to turn away, all I could do was look at it and back away until I inevitably hit a wall. At that precise moment, my legs failed and I hit the floor. The monster instantly filled half the room, and a sound that can only be described as wicked chaos threatened to tear my brain apart. If I had to describe it, I would say that its appearance most closely resembled a cross between Tubifex Worms (look it up on youtube if you want, but be warned: IT'S DISGUSTING) and the sharpest black sea urchin you can think of. As for the sound I heard, I guess it most closely resembled an amplified version of somebody furiously screaming at the top of their lungs underwater combined with the deafening roar you hear while standing right next to a high speed steel roller coaster. The strangest part is that after the initial terror and helplessness I felt, I began to welcome it and feel attracted to it. My horror turned into intrigue into desire for whatever power this was. I began to laugh the most evil laugh I ever thought I could pull off and felt the most powerful evil craving for destruction and havoc. And just as I was approaching the amorphous blob to accept its powers, I heard a voice say, "Yes! The era of Valmar is at hand!" And with that, I was catapulted out of the immersion of the dream. As soon as I heard that name, I realized I was dreaming. Valmar? I thought to myself, You mean that evil god from Grandia 2 who kind of looked like an overgrown moth? This black thing looks nothing like Valmar! And that's where that dream ended. I think I remember waking up with a feeling of terror and evil coupled with a hint of pleasure. But I quickly went back to sleep.
Dream segment two was also in first person. I was driving a car in a city that closely resembled Freehold or Hamilton: somewhere with a lot of little shops, intersections, and people in one close area. Mom was in the passenger seat. We encountered a Wawa and agreed that we should stop to stretch our legs and get some snacks. I got my items and waited in the parking lot for her. In the blink of an eye, early afternoon turned into mid-evening. All the people and cars that were roaming the streets and sidewalks had vanished. Wawa was still open, but only the employees were inside. So, I took out my cell phone and tried calling her. She didn't pick up. I was about to try again when Steve, a good friend of mine from Stockton, called. As if nothing were wrong, I answered the call and began chatting about something I don't remember. We exchanged jokes and made plans to hang out later that week. As soon as I hung up the phone, I found myself in my car again except all by myself. My brother might have been in the passenger seat; I'm not sure. At this point, we were in a community more like Princeton or New Brunswick: somewhere that has a college campus intertwined with bars, shops, and so forth. I don't know how I got into this situation, but I was forced off the road and ended up driving my car up stairs where other people were walking- narrowly missing pedestrians, dodging handrails, and powersliding around turns. It felt like I was playing Crazy Taxi. And just like in Crazy Taxi, the people get angry at first when you almost hit them, but quickly forget about it and go about their business. And never once did it occur to me to stop the vehicle! So, I zipped up stairs, across sidewalks, and around people with an almost alarming degree of calmness and professionalism. That is, until I collided with a curb. This curb must have been made of dynamite or something because as soon as I hit it, the car I was driving was launched into the stratosphere. I even felt the pressure against my chest similar to what you feel when you are swiftly going up an incline on a roller coaster or an airplane. Higher and higher the car tumbled and all the while I'm laughing. That's pretty much where that segment ends.
Dream segment three was in first person also. This one is harder to explain. There was barely any dialogue or events of note to mention. For the most part, it was me exploring a GIGANTIC house I've never been in before belonging to someone I've never met before. Many times when I have dreams that locate me inside a building, I can typically relate it to a real-life place I've been to or at least seen in the past. But this mansion seemed to be a completely original creation. The more I think about it, the more it reminds me of Constantine's mansion from the computer game Thief: The Dark Project (I still have not beaten that game yet.) Anyway, I spent most of this dream just giving myself a tour of this expansive home getting myself more and more lost with each new hallway and room I explored. In an attempt to leave a 'trail of breadcrumbs,' I paid special attention to the bathrooms that I encountered just so I could have a landmark and know which way I should go next if I should ever pass it by again. Well, it didn't work because I kept finding the same three bathrooms over and over again with zero indication of how to get back to the first floor. Eventually, I guessed my way into the master bedroom and decided to just stay there until its owner came by. Sure enough, he did and greeted me as if he had known me for decades. He took me on a proper tour of his huge house and showed me little gizmos and doodads that were scattered about the house. Then he told me that there were three bathrooms in the house. I already knew that as a result of my previous exploring, but I still acted surprised and exclaimed, "Three bathrooms?! Wow, I only have one and a half in my house!" And then I woke up for good that day.
After I woke up, Heather called me to let me know that she would be at my house to pick me up at about 1445 hours so we could go to Brittany and Mark's housewarming party in the same car. Skipping the lengthy car ride, the party itself began rather slowly. There were people everywhere of all ages. From the very start, I noticed a small handful of kids no older than ten stalking us big kids to see what we do for fun. There was also a small handful of young teens sitting at a table all by themselves most likely talking about petty bullshit as was typically the case in high school. There were quite a few elderly people watching the baseball game, talking about the confounded technology these days, admiring the history they've witnessed and other stuff I used to laugh at when I was younger but am beginning to understand. There was also about as many middle aged people too old to be 'cool' yet too young to be 'uncool.' The Twilight Zone of life, as it were? But I have to hand it to Brittany and her family. They always ALWAYS have an awesome spread of food that is just delectable. Homemade meatball subs, pasta salad, coleslaw, green bean casserole, asparagus dip, homemade buffalo chicken dip, pineapple souffle, chips, cheese, crackers, vegetables, pretzels, and other stuff I cannot remember threatened to collapse the countertop... And there was just as much variety in the dessert arena: cake, brownies, cookies, cookie cake, a chocolate cake with bits of cookie on top, cannole crackers with spreadable filling, cupcakes, and I'm sure I've forgotten other stuff. But you get the idea. Food was bountiful and the celebration quickly got better as certain people started to leave/arrive.
I'll quickly mention that their new home was huge. 2500 square feet. Three bedrooms, a room on the edge of the house that served no purpose other than to suck up energy and hold a piano, rather large closets in every room that needed on, and three bathrooms (two and a half, in reality). It never once occurred to me that it vaguely resembled my dream during the whole party. There were too many distractions such as the obnoxiously crystal clear high definition television that made movies, shows and commercials appear TOO smooth, TOO realistic, and revealed every minute movement, feature, and detail of the footage, which ironically made it appear more artificial than immersive. Mark my words: I will NEVER purchase such an expensive television. Or if it cannot be helped, I will not utilize the HD. I'm sure there are lesser quality channels or an option to disable the fancy shmancy needlessly-smooth-o-vision. Plus, the alcohol was a welcomed distraction. Beer was not in abundance, so I resorted to mixing vodka with Sierra Mist, or Mountain Dew, or Diet Dr. Pepper. For that last one, make sure you pour in more vodka than normal to overpower that irritatingly distinguishable 'diet' flavor.
I'm getting ahead of myself, though. The later it got, the rowdier and more similar to a party (that I was accustomed to with these people, anyway) the gathering felt as the adults vanished and alcohol intake rose. There were plenty of cool people there: Heather, Liz, Alex, Brittany, Mark, and Schuman made up the people I knew beforehand. There were a bunch of new cool people too. Brittany and Jeni are Brittany's friends from high school. And Eric was Jeni's boyfriend. There were other people as well, but we were too involved in the game of Kings to introduce each other. Besides, it is unlikely that we will see one another again. Kings was fun. Afterwards was more eating, browsing through funny facebook photo albums, and more eating. Then, we watching movies as the drinking and the energy in the place drained to a stagnant pool of bleh. One of the movies was Zombieland, which was pretty cool. I'm glad I got to finally see it. The other movie was Hall Pass, which started out weak with the exposition that seemed to drag on forever, got better towards the middle as the two guys embarked on their embarrassing outings to find women, and just body-slammed itself back down to the ground at the end as soon as that angry ex-boyfriend guy took a crowbar to someone's minivan. Plus, it didn't help that the super modern TV made it seem like we were watching a 2-hour long episode of Full House, except with fewer morals and modern clothing. No matter. Despite the lack of detail I'm providing, the party was fun. Heather had to leave early at 0800 to make it to work on time Sunday morning, so we couldn't get rip-roaringly drunk. There really was no true reason to, though, I suppose. I would have liked to, but this might be what people call 'growing up,' who knows?
And speaking of which, seeing two of my friends beginning their lives with a full-blown house made me feel an artificial sense of urgency. I began thinking that I should also be moving away to have a place to call my own, to have bills, maintenance responsibilities, and other such grown-uply things to worry about. I felt inferior, pressured, and worthless despite there being no such sentiment towards me. My brain goes nuts sometimes, and there weren't that many foreign chemicals this time.
Hurricane season is coming.-
Bryan