And this is why I don't entertain - and other news
Well, her parents did indeed come to visit and it did indeed suck monkey balls. And the single most maddening part of that is everything that was a problem could have been avoided with communication and simple common sense.
That's not on us, either. We tried, Renee was trying to make this happen forever and she kept bringing it up for months. They wouldn't even commit to coming until about eight hours before they were going to leave (well, the originally planned departure time, they were two hours late, didn't call to let us know either we called them wondering where the hell they were), and any attempt to discuss what we would be doing never went over well. Not looking for a strict schedule here, my father pulls that shit that's not what I consider a day trip/vacation, but having some vague idea of how the day is going to go is not out of line. After all, Renee and I might have free time on our hands, but that doesn't mean our schedules are completely blank slates that you can twist to whatever you want at the absolute last second.
It would have been a very easy thing to tell us that you haven't eaten all day (though why you would do that in the first place is beyond me), a very easy thing to say that you want to go out to dinner first. Had we been warned ahead of time, Renee and I wouldn't have eaten breakfast (because we got up late) or had something very small to hold us over and we could have gone out. No problem. But that isn't what happened. Telling us that you can pick up something quick at the harbor (and who doesn't hear that and think, like, a burger at McDonald's to hold me over, we'll go out to dinner later? exactly, right) and then walking into a restaurant all of a sudden and sitting down for dinner and looking at us like we're nuts (and making arguments like "what do you mean you want to have an easter dinner together? you see any place around here we could have easter dinner???" yeah, I call that deliberately dancing around the point and I'm not amused by it) is really fucking inconsiderate.
All it would have taken was for someone to say something earlier, or to stick to the plan as it was stated before we came out. Assuming that Renee and I have nothing better to do with our time than wander around outside Inner Harbor for an hour while you eat (because we didn't stay there, even beyond the aggravation over how oblivious they were being, they picked a restaurant with four tables of about seven screaming kids each; can't have a conversation, can't hear myself think, not in a good mood anyway, not staying in that - and if we had been allowed to plan ahead, we could have found a better restaurant) is bullshit. All Renee wanted was a chance to visit with them and sit down and have a nice dinner together and she didn't even get that, and they really don't understand why she's upset, not about that or about why it took them seven years to drive ninety minutes out of their way to visit. That doesn't make me too happy either.
At the end of the day they took off early and suddenly, for what I suspected then was a bullshit reason (and it was, later admitted). But at that point neither of us cared, the whole thing was draining and we wanted to go inside and be alone and go do something that won't piss us off.
Her mother called and woke up up this morning too, apparently she "wasn't sure how to take some of the things that happened" during the visit. Not the clusterfuck over dinner, still doesn't understand why that was a problem, and I start to think I could draw a picture in crayon and it still wouldn't clear things up. No, it was a whole bunch of little observations about our home and other shit that she has decided to read waaaaayyyyy more into than is really there (like us not having a lot of spare money, well it was Sunday so that it might have been the end of the week and she'll be getting another check in a day or two seems a more logical explanation, not omgz you has no money do you have groceries!!!1!!1!! - and that we have little furniture must mean we have no money too, not because its just the two of us here and we never entertain, Dominic comes over sometimes Becca and that's been it for over two years, and Renee and I have what we need, why buy the sofa set that seats six? Dear gods, even my mother got that point). And really why am I surprised, didn't she do the same thing with me after she spent a total of four hours in my company and decided she knew everything about me, Renee and I have nothing in common and she need not take our relationship seriously?
At least I can comfort myself in knowing this will likely never happen again. And Renee is not terribly depressed over how it went, which I was worried she would be.
But some good things did come out of yesterday. Her step father had finished the box he was making me and brought it with him - and it didn't cost me anything more than what I paid for the lock because he already had all the other materials. We had sent him a link to a box I had found online that looked like it would be big enough to me, to give him an idea of what we wanted, and he copied that box exactly; if I didn't know better I would have thought it was the same box, he did a really good job.
I had tried to get that box in time for my past two anniversary celebrations, but it ended up arriving on a meaningful day anyway. As Renee pointed out, the box came on April 4, 4/4, at around 4:00 pm as well. Haha, very cute, Hermes.
Now I'm left trying to figure out if I just start using it, or if it needs to be officially dedicated to its purpose or what.
Also, Renee and I definitely have a ride out to Oregon. We will still be meeting with the woman from PA that contacted us through the fire spinner's community to see if that will work out, because the definite ride is from the relative that I not so jokingly refer to as Uncle Asshole. Its not my preference to be stuck in a car for four days with someone I don't like and who doesn't like me either (plus it would be a little more complicated, and expensive, having to get him up here first), but if the fire spinner turns out to be a total nutjob, we do have a solid back up plan.
So, barring any future problems, this plan is a go. Renee and I will be out of Baltimore in a month with luck, but not much more than that, no more than we have to.
Yay!!!!! :-)
That's not on us, either. We tried, Renee was trying to make this happen forever and she kept bringing it up for months. They wouldn't even commit to coming until about eight hours before they were going to leave (well, the originally planned departure time, they were two hours late, didn't call to let us know either we called them wondering where the hell they were), and any attempt to discuss what we would be doing never went over well. Not looking for a strict schedule here, my father pulls that shit that's not what I consider a day trip/vacation, but having some vague idea of how the day is going to go is not out of line. After all, Renee and I might have free time on our hands, but that doesn't mean our schedules are completely blank slates that you can twist to whatever you want at the absolute last second.
It would have been a very easy thing to tell us that you haven't eaten all day (though why you would do that in the first place is beyond me), a very easy thing to say that you want to go out to dinner first. Had we been warned ahead of time, Renee and I wouldn't have eaten breakfast (because we got up late) or had something very small to hold us over and we could have gone out. No problem. But that isn't what happened. Telling us that you can pick up something quick at the harbor (and who doesn't hear that and think, like, a burger at McDonald's to hold me over, we'll go out to dinner later? exactly, right) and then walking into a restaurant all of a sudden and sitting down for dinner and looking at us like we're nuts (and making arguments like "what do you mean you want to have an easter dinner together? you see any place around here we could have easter dinner???" yeah, I call that deliberately dancing around the point and I'm not amused by it) is really fucking inconsiderate.
All it would have taken was for someone to say something earlier, or to stick to the plan as it was stated before we came out. Assuming that Renee and I have nothing better to do with our time than wander around outside Inner Harbor for an hour while you eat (because we didn't stay there, even beyond the aggravation over how oblivious they were being, they picked a restaurant with four tables of about seven screaming kids each; can't have a conversation, can't hear myself think, not in a good mood anyway, not staying in that - and if we had been allowed to plan ahead, we could have found a better restaurant) is bullshit. All Renee wanted was a chance to visit with them and sit down and have a nice dinner together and she didn't even get that, and they really don't understand why she's upset, not about that or about why it took them seven years to drive ninety minutes out of their way to visit. That doesn't make me too happy either.
At the end of the day they took off early and suddenly, for what I suspected then was a bullshit reason (and it was, later admitted). But at that point neither of us cared, the whole thing was draining and we wanted to go inside and be alone and go do something that won't piss us off.
Her mother called and woke up up this morning too, apparently she "wasn't sure how to take some of the things that happened" during the visit. Not the clusterfuck over dinner, still doesn't understand why that was a problem, and I start to think I could draw a picture in crayon and it still wouldn't clear things up. No, it was a whole bunch of little observations about our home and other shit that she has decided to read waaaaayyyyy more into than is really there (like us not having a lot of spare money, well it was Sunday so that it might have been the end of the week and she'll be getting another check in a day or two seems a more logical explanation, not omgz you has no money do you have groceries!!!1!!1!! - and that we have little furniture must mean we have no money too, not because its just the two of us here and we never entertain, Dominic comes over sometimes Becca and that's been it for over two years, and Renee and I have what we need, why buy the sofa set that seats six? Dear gods, even my mother got that point). And really why am I surprised, didn't she do the same thing with me after she spent a total of four hours in my company and decided she knew everything about me, Renee and I have nothing in common and she need not take our relationship seriously?
At least I can comfort myself in knowing this will likely never happen again. And Renee is not terribly depressed over how it went, which I was worried she would be.
But some good things did come out of yesterday. Her step father had finished the box he was making me and brought it with him - and it didn't cost me anything more than what I paid for the lock because he already had all the other materials. We had sent him a link to a box I had found online that looked like it would be big enough to me, to give him an idea of what we wanted, and he copied that box exactly; if I didn't know better I would have thought it was the same box, he did a really good job.
I had tried to get that box in time for my past two anniversary celebrations, but it ended up arriving on a meaningful day anyway. As Renee pointed out, the box came on April 4, 4/4, at around 4:00 pm as well. Haha, very cute, Hermes.
Now I'm left trying to figure out if I just start using it, or if it needs to be officially dedicated to its purpose or what.
Also, Renee and I definitely have a ride out to Oregon. We will still be meeting with the woman from PA that contacted us through the fire spinner's community to see if that will work out, because the definite ride is from the relative that I not so jokingly refer to as Uncle Asshole. Its not my preference to be stuck in a car for four days with someone I don't like and who doesn't like me either (plus it would be a little more complicated, and expensive, having to get him up here first), but if the fire spinner turns out to be a total nutjob, we do have a solid back up plan.
So, barring any future problems, this plan is a go. Renee and I will be out of Baltimore in a month with luck, but not much more than that, no more than we have to.
Yay!!!!! :-)