Happy New Year and Some Spiritual Plans
Yeah, I was awake to see the clock roll over, had a brief mini celebration with Renee, then we went back to whatever it was we were doing. What can I say,. New Year's has never been that big a deal in my little world.
Later I went to bed and laid awake for hours on end. And when I finally did get some sleep, know what I dreamed about vividly and so I remembered it when I did wake up again? Not being able to sleep. Yeah, thanks a lot, brain. Do that again and I'll poke you with a coat hanger. :-P
I don't do New Year's resolutions, however I am looking to get back on track still with spiritual practice in a non resolution sort of way. :-) I have a few things in mind right now and we'll see how they go. My shrine in the temple room could still use a make over since I took pieces of it away to create the one I have by the computer (where I spend too much of my time); also I decided to scrap the idea of a third shrine and, when my box is made, I'll graft that on to one of the two shrines I currently have now.
... Well, I do have some ideas for a third shrine of sorts. But I'll keep that to myself for now until I better see how it works out. Getting a lot of grand plans in my head there, wanting to make a bunch of shit, and it may be that will need to be scaled back. Arts and crafts is one of those things I wish I was good at but in general I'm not, not only because I am very word oriented and visuals don't always compute, but I don't have very delicate fingers and I get frustrated very fucking easily sometimes (one of my huge flaws that I'm getting a little better at reigning in, but not too much). So yeah, we'll see how it goes, and with luck I won't get so frustrated with it that I chuck the whole idea down the toilet.
Also would love to have a regular practice of sorts again. Some may know (or all may know, I honestly don't remember if I put this under a filter or not) that I decided after too many times of trying and failing for the same reasons, that the standard Hellenic model of regular devotional practice (certain days of the month assigned to certain deities) is not working for me and its time to try something else. It really is a good model and I can see why it works for so many people, but most people do not have my sleep issues and the fluctuating energy levels I can get as a result of that (not to mention the times I'm awake changing so often; last time I had planned to do devotional walks for Hermes on a certain day each month, but if I hit a patch where my peak energy level is at three in the morning that isn't exactly a possibility, I mean I can feel comfortable walking down to the drug store or 7 Eleven that late if I have Renee with me, but I'm not staying out long and I'm not wandering far, I may live in a relatively safe neighborhood but I'm not going to be stupid about things either). I need something more flexible because I know (right or wrong) that its too easy for me to miss a few days, beat myself up for it and in the process miss a few more, then become so behind I feel like I can't catch up.
So in my latest attempt at finding that working balance point between the chaos I'm naturally attuned to, the flexibility my problems demand and the structure I need to maintain these relationships that are important to me and to do and learn the things I Need to do and learn, I'm going to have a list. Every month I'll make a list of deities I want to do something for (and I won't box myself in with thinking that something need always be formal ritual; even something small will do) and, when a day comes that I feel up to is and the timing is right if time of day is an issue, I can do something and cross it off. I've never been someone that utilized lists before, so we'll see how well it works out. It is the best idea I can come up with right now though.
The only two days I think I'll keep set are the Noumenia for house blessing (Renee and I may have finally come up with a routine that works there) and one day mid month for Hermes. I do think for the moment I may continue thinking of my months in terms of a lunar calendar, I do seem to be naturally more nocturnal and there are more days when I don't see the sun than when I don't see the moon; I'm not exactly married to the modern calendar, the way everyone else keeps time ceased mattering to me a long ago when I stopped being able to keep time along with them. That may be subject to change, depending on how things go.
I also want to start celebrating festivals again, something I've not been so good at lately (with the exception of my personal anniversary days, and even those didn't go so well this year, but then again this year sucked diseased monkey balls when it came to spiritual stuff, now didn't it?). I will have to find holidays that mean something to me and fit in well with my spiritual life. To start off with, Renee and I have resolved to celebrate Anthesteria this year, since that was one I noticed its passing, and the change in the air during that time, when it occurred last year. We're starting to plan out what we want to do well in advance, since last minute planning is one of those things that thrown a lot of our attempts at doing things off track.
Here's hoping 2010 goes a little better than 2009 did. :-)
Later I went to bed and laid awake for hours on end. And when I finally did get some sleep, know what I dreamed about vividly and so I remembered it when I did wake up again? Not being able to sleep. Yeah, thanks a lot, brain. Do that again and I'll poke you with a coat hanger. :-P
I don't do New Year's resolutions, however I am looking to get back on track still with spiritual practice in a non resolution sort of way. :-) I have a few things in mind right now and we'll see how they go. My shrine in the temple room could still use a make over since I took pieces of it away to create the one I have by the computer (where I spend too much of my time); also I decided to scrap the idea of a third shrine and, when my box is made, I'll graft that on to one of the two shrines I currently have now.
... Well, I do have some ideas for a third shrine of sorts. But I'll keep that to myself for now until I better see how it works out. Getting a lot of grand plans in my head there, wanting to make a bunch of shit, and it may be that will need to be scaled back. Arts and crafts is one of those things I wish I was good at but in general I'm not, not only because I am very word oriented and visuals don't always compute, but I don't have very delicate fingers and I get frustrated very fucking easily sometimes (one of my huge flaws that I'm getting a little better at reigning in, but not too much). So yeah, we'll see how it goes, and with luck I won't get so frustrated with it that I chuck the whole idea down the toilet.
Also would love to have a regular practice of sorts again. Some may know (or all may know, I honestly don't remember if I put this under a filter or not) that I decided after too many times of trying and failing for the same reasons, that the standard Hellenic model of regular devotional practice (certain days of the month assigned to certain deities) is not working for me and its time to try something else. It really is a good model and I can see why it works for so many people, but most people do not have my sleep issues and the fluctuating energy levels I can get as a result of that (not to mention the times I'm awake changing so often; last time I had planned to do devotional walks for Hermes on a certain day each month, but if I hit a patch where my peak energy level is at three in the morning that isn't exactly a possibility, I mean I can feel comfortable walking down to the drug store or 7 Eleven that late if I have Renee with me, but I'm not staying out long and I'm not wandering far, I may live in a relatively safe neighborhood but I'm not going to be stupid about things either). I need something more flexible because I know (right or wrong) that its too easy for me to miss a few days, beat myself up for it and in the process miss a few more, then become so behind I feel like I can't catch up.
So in my latest attempt at finding that working balance point between the chaos I'm naturally attuned to, the flexibility my problems demand and the structure I need to maintain these relationships that are important to me and to do and learn the things I Need to do and learn, I'm going to have a list. Every month I'll make a list of deities I want to do something for (and I won't box myself in with thinking that something need always be formal ritual; even something small will do) and, when a day comes that I feel up to is and the timing is right if time of day is an issue, I can do something and cross it off. I've never been someone that utilized lists before, so we'll see how well it works out. It is the best idea I can come up with right now though.
The only two days I think I'll keep set are the Noumenia for house blessing (Renee and I may have finally come up with a routine that works there) and one day mid month for Hermes. I do think for the moment I may continue thinking of my months in terms of a lunar calendar, I do seem to be naturally more nocturnal and there are more days when I don't see the sun than when I don't see the moon; I'm not exactly married to the modern calendar, the way everyone else keeps time ceased mattering to me a long ago when I stopped being able to keep time along with them. That may be subject to change, depending on how things go.
I also want to start celebrating festivals again, something I've not been so good at lately (with the exception of my personal anniversary days, and even those didn't go so well this year, but then again this year sucked diseased monkey balls when it came to spiritual stuff, now didn't it?). I will have to find holidays that mean something to me and fit in well with my spiritual life. To start off with, Renee and I have resolved to celebrate Anthesteria this year, since that was one I noticed its passing, and the change in the air during that time, when it occurred last year. We're starting to plan out what we want to do well in advance, since last minute planning is one of those things that thrown a lot of our attempts at doing things off track.
Here's hoping 2010 goes a little better than 2009 did. :-)