I'm back! :-)
I am now back, rested and refreshed, from my wonderful and much needed two week vacation. Much has happened in that time, and I'll try to tell as much of it as I can.
First off, no construction! I don't know, it just never happened. Someone showed up Monday the first week to pick up a backhoe from the yard, then I didn't see anyone again until Friday last day I was there, they were in the yard for about five minutes when the sky suddenly got very dark and it started to pour, not for very long but just long enough for them to decide to go home. My father of course was breathing fire when he got home and saw that no progress had been made, but this was very good for me! Its good to have Hermes on my side. :-)
Of course he didn't give me this quiet time for free. Here I was planning to take a break from religious studies, brought along a Stephen King book I hadn't read in a while, I was going to kick back and relax. That lasted a whole of two days and then I couldn't concentrate on the book anymore and then for the rest of that first week (the second week it was about a hundred degrees around here and as my father's house has four air conditioners and a pool, family was invading my privacy so they could cool off, by that point I didn't mind so much though) in a sort of prolonged meditative state. I was wandering around the house, watching some TV (they were playing a lot of movies I liked but hadn't seen in a long time, since I already knew what was going to happen it didn't require a lot of concentration to watch them), sitting outside, whatever I was doing it felt like I was in an almost constant communication with Hermes.
It was a very interesting week and I don't think I can share everything that went through my head during that time, I'm still not sure how to quite articulate it all. I feel I've gained some additional insight into Hermes and got a preview of what my life will be like walking down his path, he began making some of his early plans clear. Giving me a chance to prepare I guess, because some of it is going to be drastic, at least to me. I'll try to get more into this later.
One other very big very important development, I've now been given my religious name. I've talked about having one, I knew its something I should do, and now I know what it is. Funny thing is, I already had the name; as a matter of fact I've had it for years. Its not a Pagan community name either (you know what I mean), its a secular name whose meanings I can tie into Hermes. This is good, I don't exactly want to just create a separate identity to use with a select group of people, my religion isn't separate from my normal life (and will become less so I suspect as I begin working more toward the priesthood Hermes wants from me, I suspect over the next few years he'll more and more become the center of my life) and I'd like a name that reflects that, a secular name that reflects my devotion to him even if I'm the only one who knows it does. Its also something part of the rebirth I was talking about a while ago now, new life and a new name to go along with it, one not tied into all the bad memories and all the baggage I've managed to accumulate in this one. Not to mention that I've never been that big a fan of my given name and have considered having it legally changed for a long time now, just never knew to what. Now I know. This is a whole story in and of itself and I'll explain more in detail sometime tomorrow or the next day, when I'm not so tired. I can't have it legally changed right now (my mother will hit the roof, and I still have to live with her for the moment) but I do plan to start using it in the Pagan community right away (good way to start getting used to it).
After this I had an incredibly powerful ritual experience with Hermes. This wasn't the happy, playful presence I often feel, this was much more along the lines of what happened between me and Dionysos that first time (no incense smoke blowing straight up my nose this time, which only made it slightly less disorientating). There was a picture of a statue of him in a frame that I brought with me along with the candle from his shrine at home; I was seeing things with the picture (shadows, bright light, damned if that statue didn't look almost alive there, I don't know hard to remember it all now) and the candle flame kept doing this weird popping thing I've never seen it do before. After the ritual was over I went on this ungodly long walk, just up and left the house and just started walking; I had energy to burn I never even got tired, and I should have because I'm not in the best of shape, certainly not used to walking that much. This was Sunday, the end of that first week and the end of that long meditative state; I'm guessing that was his official stamp of approval of nearly every single idea that came into my head that time and specifically including my new identity (I brought that up myself, it really surprised me and I had to ask). I wonder when I'll be having another experience like this, its certainly exciting but a lot for me to handle while its actually going on.
Anyway, just wanted to say hi and talk a little about what's been happening with me. I'll post more details soon and try to read through my friend's list as much as I can though I doubt I'll get through all two weeks.
Now off to sleep in my own bed. :-)
First off, no construction! I don't know, it just never happened. Someone showed up Monday the first week to pick up a backhoe from the yard, then I didn't see anyone again until Friday last day I was there, they were in the yard for about five minutes when the sky suddenly got very dark and it started to pour, not for very long but just long enough for them to decide to go home. My father of course was breathing fire when he got home and saw that no progress had been made, but this was very good for me! Its good to have Hermes on my side. :-)
Of course he didn't give me this quiet time for free. Here I was planning to take a break from religious studies, brought along a Stephen King book I hadn't read in a while, I was going to kick back and relax. That lasted a whole of two days and then I couldn't concentrate on the book anymore and then for the rest of that first week (the second week it was about a hundred degrees around here and as my father's house has four air conditioners and a pool, family was invading my privacy so they could cool off, by that point I didn't mind so much though) in a sort of prolonged meditative state. I was wandering around the house, watching some TV (they were playing a lot of movies I liked but hadn't seen in a long time, since I already knew what was going to happen it didn't require a lot of concentration to watch them), sitting outside, whatever I was doing it felt like I was in an almost constant communication with Hermes.
It was a very interesting week and I don't think I can share everything that went through my head during that time, I'm still not sure how to quite articulate it all. I feel I've gained some additional insight into Hermes and got a preview of what my life will be like walking down his path, he began making some of his early plans clear. Giving me a chance to prepare I guess, because some of it is going to be drastic, at least to me. I'll try to get more into this later.
One other very big very important development, I've now been given my religious name. I've talked about having one, I knew its something I should do, and now I know what it is. Funny thing is, I already had the name; as a matter of fact I've had it for years. Its not a Pagan community name either (you know what I mean), its a secular name whose meanings I can tie into Hermes. This is good, I don't exactly want to just create a separate identity to use with a select group of people, my religion isn't separate from my normal life (and will become less so I suspect as I begin working more toward the priesthood Hermes wants from me, I suspect over the next few years he'll more and more become the center of my life) and I'd like a name that reflects that, a secular name that reflects my devotion to him even if I'm the only one who knows it does. Its also something part of the rebirth I was talking about a while ago now, new life and a new name to go along with it, one not tied into all the bad memories and all the baggage I've managed to accumulate in this one. Not to mention that I've never been that big a fan of my given name and have considered having it legally changed for a long time now, just never knew to what. Now I know. This is a whole story in and of itself and I'll explain more in detail sometime tomorrow or the next day, when I'm not so tired. I can't have it legally changed right now (my mother will hit the roof, and I still have to live with her for the moment) but I do plan to start using it in the Pagan community right away (good way to start getting used to it).
After this I had an incredibly powerful ritual experience with Hermes. This wasn't the happy, playful presence I often feel, this was much more along the lines of what happened between me and Dionysos that first time (no incense smoke blowing straight up my nose this time, which only made it slightly less disorientating). There was a picture of a statue of him in a frame that I brought with me along with the candle from his shrine at home; I was seeing things with the picture (shadows, bright light, damned if that statue didn't look almost alive there, I don't know hard to remember it all now) and the candle flame kept doing this weird popping thing I've never seen it do before. After the ritual was over I went on this ungodly long walk, just up and left the house and just started walking; I had energy to burn I never even got tired, and I should have because I'm not in the best of shape, certainly not used to walking that much. This was Sunday, the end of that first week and the end of that long meditative state; I'm guessing that was his official stamp of approval of nearly every single idea that came into my head that time and specifically including my new identity (I brought that up myself, it really surprised me and I had to ask). I wonder when I'll be having another experience like this, its certainly exciting but a lot for me to handle while its actually going on.
Anyway, just wanted to say hi and talk a little about what's been happening with me. I'll post more details soon and try to read through my friend's list as much as I can though I doubt I'll get through all two weeks.
Now off to sleep in my own bed. :-)