Free Money!

[chironcentaur]

So, a week or so ago, the government threw some spending money at me to help stimulate the economy. And now I have some spare cash. Don't plan to spend it all, but I'll be getting a couple things.

Firstly, I'm getting an exercise bike. I've been putting on weight lately and I'm not happy about it; I don't eat much and I walk everywhere, but hey

Comments

[chironcentaur]

It is good not to have too many bills to pay. Of course, that will probably change when we move out of the utilities included apartment, but for now its good.

Honestly though, what doesn't go to the exercise bike and obligatory adding to the religious library will probably be tucked away for future expenses, like one more Christmas with the family (wasn't planning to do that again, but my sister will have had another baby by then, have to go see it at least once) and moving across the country in the hopefully not too distant future.

Since I will probably never go back to being rail thin, an attitude change is likely in order. I admit I've had self image problems that extend well beyond the weight gain so it was just one more thing that added to it, and parents with their own issues there. My mother has struggled with weight her whole life so she tends to jump on you at the first sign of significant gain and start pressuring you to lose it because she doesn't want you to end up like her (and she blows her own situation well out of proportion, but that's a different matter altogether), she can be insulting because she beats herself up too. My father has problems all his own, and while I understand where his bitterness comes from at the same time he doesn't know when to back the fuck off. I got a lot of negative shit to flush out of my head first.

Though I never get the rush from physical activity that so many other people talk about (I think its the low energy, half the time it just sucks everything out of me and leaves me feeling like shit), the exception to that is when I'm angry. The first time I quit smoking I got through the cravings on a treadmill, and it worked too. :-)