More Hollywood Remake Bitching
Commercials for Last House on the Left are playing, and already I have things to complain about.
If it wasn't for the fact that we're apparently doing nothing but remakes, I wouldn't be so upset to see that one get redone. I saw the original and... eh. Some parts worked, some parts really didn't. I grant you that not having seen it in the cultural context in which it was first made may have robbed a lot of its shock for me, but while I have seen so much worse, it wasn't the violent portions I have complaints about. It is a big irritation of mine when people inject over the top goofy characters into an otherwise suspenseful movie to, I guess, lighten the tone. And I thought John Goodman in Arachnophobia was bad, hell at least he was somewhat real world believable; unlike the sheriffs of Last House on the Left, they and the oh so wacky situations they find themselves in come straight out of the silent film style of over the top comedy. Its not funny in any situation, but it is some how a hundred and one times more unfunny when it comes on right after seeing a woman get raped and murdered (and I have a twisted sense of humor). If the remake gives those characters the ax (perhaps literally? one can only hope) it did one thing right.
But other than that, the more I stare at these commercials the less hopeful I am that this will be any good. I mean, on the surface, sure it looks real bad ass. But if you listen closely, at the particular wording being used, I think this movie may have been drastically softened for modern audiences.
They consistently describe Mari Collingwood as being "hurt" as being "left for dead." And what message does this all convey to me?
That Mari Collingwood is going to survive the film this time around.
So, our era of film can hype up the violence (sort of) as long as its directed solely against the bad people in the film, but sweet innocent little Mari Collingwood and her wholesome family get their happy ending because oh my gods seeing her die would be like soooo harsh, I want it all to end on a happy note! And we think we're so much worse now? Yeah, whatever.
On this, I have only my suspicions based on the particular wording being used over and over. But it wouldn't surprise me much, this is the way our movies run now.
And before anyone thinks my position here makes me cold, Mari Collingwood is fiction and I am not obligated to care at all about the lives and well being of people who do not really exist. A two hour movie isn't anywhere near long enough for me to become overly involved and invested in the characters that I want them to live; I need to sink far more of my time into their story, and they need to be far more interesting than she was.
My second, far more testy complaint, comes from a character description list I read over on IMDB, and the suggestion there that Sadie, the lone woman in Krug's crew, has been hopelessly butchered. This one pisses me off far more.
I liked the fact that, in the original, Sadie was a predator in her own right, as much so as the men she was keeping company with. I like that she actively and enthusiastically participated in everything that went on there. I like it because its not something that you see very often since, as a culture, people don't like seeing women in violent roles, and most especially not in predatory roles, since of course all the wimmins are kind and gentle and nurturing don't you know (my nurturing side, let me show it to you :-P), completely incapable of ever hurting a soul. Women are just as capable of violence, we're just conditioned not to be (says the aggressively little girl that had the adults around her try to beat and shame that tendency out of her while encouraging the very same thing in the boys around her).
In most of these kinds of movies the Criminal's Girlfriend is just some background figure, never violent on her own, just in defense of the jackass she's dating, but otherwise her purpose is to hang around and look pretty, sleep with her boyfriend and eventually get killed. She doesn't participate in any sort of depraved criminal activity, and will occasionally protest lightly on behalf of the innocent victims (some times will even try to help them, her soft and gentle feminine nature trumping the life of crime *eye roll*), but she never really does anything. Not a particularly impressive figure, and you rarely get better than that. (and no, I'm not particularly impressed by female villains that use their "feminine wiles" in pursuit of crime, I'm not impressed by that sort of woman period)
The character description that I read also suggest that Sadie has been demoted from Predator to just the Criminal's Girlfriend.
So, if the remake has robbed the original of two of its more unusual and harsh plot features, what's the fucking point? All the blood and gore in the world won't make up for their loss. A movie that doesn't have a happy ending is always more of a slap in the face than one that does.
Color me uninterested. Too bad, I usually enjoy murderous Tony Goldwyn. Don't ask me why, but watching that man kill people is fun. And I was initially excited about seeing him go after people with a chainsaw (assuming they intend to keep that part of the original, I haven't seen anything that indicates they did).
If it wasn't for the fact that we're apparently doing nothing but remakes, I wouldn't be so upset to see that one get redone. I saw the original and... eh. Some parts worked, some parts really didn't. I grant you that not having seen it in the cultural context in which it was first made may have robbed a lot of its shock for me, but while I have seen so much worse, it wasn't the violent portions I have complaints about. It is a big irritation of mine when people inject over the top goofy characters into an otherwise suspenseful movie to, I guess, lighten the tone. And I thought John Goodman in Arachnophobia was bad, hell at least he was somewhat real world believable; unlike the sheriffs of Last House on the Left, they and the oh so wacky situations they find themselves in come straight out of the silent film style of over the top comedy. Its not funny in any situation, but it is some how a hundred and one times more unfunny when it comes on right after seeing a woman get raped and murdered (and I have a twisted sense of humor). If the remake gives those characters the ax (perhaps literally? one can only hope) it did one thing right.
But other than that, the more I stare at these commercials the less hopeful I am that this will be any good. I mean, on the surface, sure it looks real bad ass. But if you listen closely, at the particular wording being used, I think this movie may have been drastically softened for modern audiences.
They consistently describe Mari Collingwood as being "hurt" as being "left for dead." And what message does this all convey to me?
That Mari Collingwood is going to survive the film this time around.
So, our era of film can hype up the violence (sort of) as long as its directed solely against the bad people in the film, but sweet innocent little Mari Collingwood and her wholesome family get their happy ending because oh my gods seeing her die would be like soooo harsh, I want it all to end on a happy note! And we think we're so much worse now? Yeah, whatever.
On this, I have only my suspicions based on the particular wording being used over and over. But it wouldn't surprise me much, this is the way our movies run now.
And before anyone thinks my position here makes me cold, Mari Collingwood is fiction and I am not obligated to care at all about the lives and well being of people who do not really exist. A two hour movie isn't anywhere near long enough for me to become overly involved and invested in the characters that I want them to live; I need to sink far more of my time into their story, and they need to be far more interesting than she was.
My second, far more testy complaint, comes from a character description list I read over on IMDB, and the suggestion there that Sadie, the lone woman in Krug's crew, has been hopelessly butchered. This one pisses me off far more.
I liked the fact that, in the original, Sadie was a predator in her own right, as much so as the men she was keeping company with. I like that she actively and enthusiastically participated in everything that went on there. I like it because its not something that you see very often since, as a culture, people don't like seeing women in violent roles, and most especially not in predatory roles, since of course all the wimmins are kind and gentle and nurturing don't you know (my nurturing side, let me show it to you :-P), completely incapable of ever hurting a soul. Women are just as capable of violence, we're just conditioned not to be (says the aggressively little girl that had the adults around her try to beat and shame that tendency out of her while encouraging the very same thing in the boys around her).
In most of these kinds of movies the Criminal's Girlfriend is just some background figure, never violent on her own, just in defense of the jackass she's dating, but otherwise her purpose is to hang around and look pretty, sleep with her boyfriend and eventually get killed. She doesn't participate in any sort of depraved criminal activity, and will occasionally protest lightly on behalf of the innocent victims (some times will even try to help them, her soft and gentle feminine nature trumping the life of crime *eye roll*), but she never really does anything. Not a particularly impressive figure, and you rarely get better than that. (and no, I'm not particularly impressed by female villains that use their "feminine wiles" in pursuit of crime, I'm not impressed by that sort of woman period)
The character description that I read also suggest that Sadie has been demoted from Predator to just the Criminal's Girlfriend.
So, if the remake has robbed the original of two of its more unusual and harsh plot features, what's the fucking point? All the blood and gore in the world won't make up for their loss. A movie that doesn't have a happy ending is always more of a slap in the face than one that does.
Color me uninterested. Too bad, I usually enjoy murderous Tony Goldwyn. Don't ask me why, but watching that man kill people is fun. And I was initially excited about seeing him go after people with a chainsaw (assuming they intend to keep that part of the original, I haven't seen anything that indicates they did).