Artemis - the final word
I spent some time in meditation with Artemis as I said I was going to do, I also got an opportunity to do a more formal ritual with her when my sister was going into labor. I spent a lot of time thinking about the senses I got during those times, did a divination and consulted Hermes as well. After all this, the conclusion that I've come to is that Artemis is not one of my deities.
It wasn't exactly the cold shoulder reaction that I can remember getting before while exploring other pantheons (which I didn't really recognize as a cold shoulder until I met Hermes and saw how a god could respond). I did sense that she was around, that she was listening, but I never sensed she was "right there" the way Hermes is for me, and the sensation of her presence never lasted very long. I walked away with the feeling that this simply wasn't going to work out, and the divinations I've done seem to confirm that Artemis will never be a major part of my spiritual life. If I really need her for something I may have her ear, but that's about it.
I feel like I should be disappointed by this, after all Artemis was my favorite deity in childhood, the closest thing I ever had to a role model. But I'm all right with it. I'm thankful to have Hermes in my life the way that I do, if that's all I ever have I'll still consider myself lucky. If I've evolved beyond the point where I need Artemis, how can I complain about that?
So I can cross one deity off my list. Probably two actually. Aphrodite forcefully came into my life a while ago, which is why I put her on the list in the first place. But really I only think she showed up to tweak a few things she felt needed tweaking (for whatever her reasons were), I haven't felt her poking at me for a while now. I don't think I could ever actually form a real relationship with her anyway, I think that would be beyond my capabilities; there is way too much difference between us, and way too many bad feelings on my part at least, that unless my life undergoes some drastic changes (or I have a complete personality transplant) I just simply don't see this happening.
Next I'll either do Dionysos or Persephone, both of whom I think are more promising options. I'll make up my mind which over the next few days and see what happens after my first low key festival day is over.
It wasn't exactly the cold shoulder reaction that I can remember getting before while exploring other pantheons (which I didn't really recognize as a cold shoulder until I met Hermes and saw how a god could respond). I did sense that she was around, that she was listening, but I never sensed she was "right there" the way Hermes is for me, and the sensation of her presence never lasted very long. I walked away with the feeling that this simply wasn't going to work out, and the divinations I've done seem to confirm that Artemis will never be a major part of my spiritual life. If I really need her for something I may have her ear, but that's about it.
I feel like I should be disappointed by this, after all Artemis was my favorite deity in childhood, the closest thing I ever had to a role model. But I'm all right with it. I'm thankful to have Hermes in my life the way that I do, if that's all I ever have I'll still consider myself lucky. If I've evolved beyond the point where I need Artemis, how can I complain about that?
So I can cross one deity off my list. Probably two actually. Aphrodite forcefully came into my life a while ago, which is why I put her on the list in the first place. But really I only think she showed up to tweak a few things she felt needed tweaking (for whatever her reasons were), I haven't felt her poking at me for a while now. I don't think I could ever actually form a real relationship with her anyway, I think that would be beyond my capabilities; there is way too much difference between us, and way too many bad feelings on my part at least, that unless my life undergoes some drastic changes (or I have a complete personality transplant) I just simply don't see this happening.
Next I'll either do Dionysos or Persephone, both of whom I think are more promising options. I'll make up my mind which over the next few days and see what happens after my first low key festival day is over.