Criminal Minds fic: Do I Know You?
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Title: Do I Know You?
Summary: Emily and JJ are visiting Garcia for coffee, but are stunned at what they see when they arrive. Some humorous fluff for Valentine's Day.
Category: Humour/General
Characters: Emily Prentiss, Jennifer Jareau, Penelope Garcia
Rating: K+
Note: I own nothing. Especially not CM, or the things mentioned in this story, though I may want some of them. :) Thank you as always to sjhw_tolerance for the beta.
Do I Know You?
PROMPT: Forensic Factor - Bloody Valentine
“Are you and Will doing anything for Valentine’s Day?”
Emily Prentiss and Jennifer Jareau were walking down the corridor away from the bullpen towards Garcia’s Love Cave, or so the energizer bunny of the BAU had proclaimed at their morning briefing that her office would be called ‘until the clock strikes midnight tonight’ . It was a little after three in the afternoon, and they’d both received reminders in Outlook that it was time for their daily coffee and cupcakes session with Garcia, something they liked to try and do when they were all in the office. So Emily had dragged JJ from behind a pile of folders so high the only part of the blonde visible was her hair, hit the break area for three coffees, and proceeded to where she hoped Garcia would be providing cupcakes.
“Not really. We don’t have any family in the area, and I haven’t found a sitter that I’m comfortable with yet, so we figured we’d just stay in. It’ll actually make a nice change from always being on the road.” Despite the fact that most people wanted to go out for Valentine’s Day, JJ sounded happy that she was going to be at home. “How about you?”
“I don’t have any plans.” While Emily tried to keep the disappointment out of her voice, she knew that JJ had detected something when the blonde turned to look at her.
“Really? No invitations from a certain tall, dark, and handsome unit chief?” JJ’s lips quirked up as she spoke, and her tone was definitely teasing. Emily directed a glare at her friend, which merely elicited a laugh - not quite the desired response. Then again, JJ was used to handling some pretty nasty expressions from not only the press, but also the in house masters of dirty looks: Aaron Hotchner and Erin Strauss.
Fortunately, before any further questions could be asked, they reached the door to the Love Cave and JJ punched in the code - Emily being unable to do so as she was holding two coffees.
Before the door was even fully open, they were greeted with squeals of excitement from within. “Come and see what Kevin gave me for Valentine’s Day!”
After rolling their eyes at each other, Emily followed JJ into the room, but nearly spilled both coffees when she almost walked into JJ’s back. Stepping around her friend, all she could see was Garcia gesturing excitedly at something on her desk, while JJ simply stood there with her mouth open.
“JJ?” The woman in question opened and closed her mouth twice without making any sound, then slowly turned to look at Emily, shaking her head in disbelief. “What’s wrong?”
Still unable to answer, she just pointed at Garcia.
Not able to see what the problem was, Emily turned her attention to the other woman in the room, who was saying something about her keyboard, as well as the strange blue box sitting next to it.
“And the best part is that not only are there four USB 2.0 ports, but that when you press this button on the front the light on the roof flashes and the sound effect is so perfect!”
Looking closely, Emily realised that the blue object Garcia was talking about indeed seemed familiar. Searching her memory, she finally realised what it looked like. “Is that from Doctor Who?”
Spinning in her chair, Garcia shot her a look of absolute horror. “My tall, raven haired beauty, of course it’s from Doctor Who! How can call yourself a nerd and not be sure of this?”
Emily was completely unable to respond as, the whole time Garcia had been talking, she’d been staring at what had stopped JJ dead in her tracks. “Um . . .” She desperately tried to find words which would allow her to ask some sort of coherent question. “Pen? It’s not Halloween, is it?”
“Of course not, my confuzzled friend. Today is the day when lovers everywhere express that love to their intimate companions with tokens of affection. Why do you ask?” Garcia was at her perkiest and happiest, and the words came out in a flurry which it took Emily a second to decipher.
“Did Kevin bring you any jelly donuts today?” She still felt as though she was fighting her way through a fog to get to coherent thought.
“No, my lovely. My little god of geekdom tried to bring in a bacon donut this morning, but as soon as I caught the smell of it I banished him from the Love Cave until it was gone.”
Emily was momentarily distracted from the image in front of her as her brain tried to process exactly what a bacon donut might be, and why the thought of it made her feel like gagging. Seeing a look of horror on JJ’s face beside her, she was relieved to discover that she wasn’t the only one who thought that way. Trying to get back to the original topic, she realised that her brain felt like Beaker’s sometimes looked after one of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew’s less than successful experiments.
“And you’re not doing some sort of weird Twlight Valentine’s with Kevin?” Emily was a trained interrogator, and had grilled countless suspects, but in this conversation with Garcia she knew she sounded rather more like Forrest Gump.
Losing some of her excitement, Garcia gave her a slightly hurt look. “No. What’s wrong, my dear?”
They both stared at her, unable to figure out how to broach what was obviously becoming a delicate question. Unfortunately, the longer they stood there, the more subdued Garcia became.
Overcoming her silence, it was JJ who finally found blurted out what they were obviously both thinking. “Then why do you have blood all over your chin, your shirt, and even on your hands?”
“WHAT?!” The cry was more of a screech, and the technical analyst floundered to open a draw and pull out a mirror. “Oh no! Why didn’t you say something?” Garcia fixed her friends with an accusing glare.
JJ and Emily looked at each other. “We did.” Their voices came out close enough together that Emily almost expected Garcia to call ‘jinx’.
“So what’s with the . . . blood?” Emily tried to sound positive, and not like she’d walked in and found that one of her closest friends had been replaced with a bizarre flesh eating doppelganger.
Reaching for some hand wipes, Garcia sighed. “It was the other thing that Kevin gave me for Valentine’s Day - a Giant Bleeding Gummy Heart. It was so delicious I didn’t realise just how gooey it was.”
“A giant what?” Emily didn’t have the chance to ask the question before JJ did.
“Gummy heart! You know, like a gummy bear, only bigger and much juicier. It was wonderful.” She almost moaned in delight at the memory.
Emily and JJ exchanged another glance. While she had liked gummy bears when she was younger, she now preferred something a little more refined as a present - like Godiva chocolate. On the other hand, she wasn’t anywhere near the geek that her friend was, and she suspected that this gummy heart was very much a geek thing.
“Well, let’s get you cleaned up before we have our cupcakes. You did bring cupcakes didn’t you, Pen?”
Garcia shot her another horrified look. “Of course I did! It would be sacrilege if I’d forgotten.” As she rose from her chair, Emily caught sight of her keyboard, which she vaguely remembered Garcia mentioning immediately after they’d walked in the room. It was a sleek, glossy black, and not one single key had any sort of letter or character on it.
“Did you know that there aren’t any letters on your keyboard?”
Emily had to step back from the intense glare she received in response to her comment. “Were you not listening as I explained to you the virtues of Das Keyboard, the ultimate keyboard for über fast typists like my wonderful self?”
“I guess I was distracted by all the blood and ah . . .” Emily wracked her brain for the name of the darn blue thing. “And the Tardis!” she exclaimed triumphantly. She really hoped that the truth would help dig her out of the hole into which she had obviously descended.
Garcia looked at her suspiciously. “I’ll forgive you - this time. But don’t ignore explanations of my technology in the future!” With that she whirled around and headed towards the door.
Grateful that she’d escaped any further details about the keyboard, Emily followed Garcia from the room, JJ tagging along behind with a bemused expression on her face. If this was what Valentine’s Day gifts were about, she thought, maybe she was better off buying her own Godiva after all.
A/N2: All gifts mentioned in this story are real, and are available online. Perhaps your Valentine would like a Giant Gummy Bleeding Heart as well?
Title: Do I Know You?
Summary: Emily and JJ are visiting Garcia for coffee, but are stunned at what they see when they arrive. Some humorous fluff for Valentine's Day.
Category: Humour/General
Characters: Emily Prentiss, Jennifer Jareau, Penelope Garcia
Rating: K+
Note: I own nothing. Especially not CM, or the things mentioned in this story, though I may want some of them. :) Thank you as always to sjhw_tolerance for the beta.
Do I Know You?
PROMPT: Forensic Factor - Bloody Valentine
“Are you and Will doing anything for Valentine’s Day?”
Emily Prentiss and Jennifer Jareau were walking down the corridor away from the bullpen towards Garcia’s Love Cave, or so the energizer bunny of the BAU had proclaimed at their morning briefing that her office would be called ‘until the clock strikes midnight tonight’ . It was a little after three in the afternoon, and they’d both received reminders in Outlook that it was time for their daily coffee and cupcakes session with Garcia, something they liked to try and do when they were all in the office. So Emily had dragged JJ from behind a pile of folders so high the only part of the blonde visible was her hair, hit the break area for three coffees, and proceeded to where she hoped Garcia would be providing cupcakes.
“Not really. We don’t have any family in the area, and I haven’t found a sitter that I’m comfortable with yet, so we figured we’d just stay in. It’ll actually make a nice change from always being on the road.” Despite the fact that most people wanted to go out for Valentine’s Day, JJ sounded happy that she was going to be at home. “How about you?”
“I don’t have any plans.” While Emily tried to keep the disappointment out of her voice, she knew that JJ had detected something when the blonde turned to look at her.
“Really? No invitations from a certain tall, dark, and handsome unit chief?” JJ’s lips quirked up as she spoke, and her tone was definitely teasing. Emily directed a glare at her friend, which merely elicited a laugh - not quite the desired response. Then again, JJ was used to handling some pretty nasty expressions from not only the press, but also the in house masters of dirty looks: Aaron Hotchner and Erin Strauss.
Fortunately, before any further questions could be asked, they reached the door to the Love Cave and JJ punched in the code - Emily being unable to do so as she was holding two coffees.
Before the door was even fully open, they were greeted with squeals of excitement from within. “Come and see what Kevin gave me for Valentine’s Day!”
After rolling their eyes at each other, Emily followed JJ into the room, but nearly spilled both coffees when she almost walked into JJ’s back. Stepping around her friend, all she could see was Garcia gesturing excitedly at something on her desk, while JJ simply stood there with her mouth open.
“JJ?” The woman in question opened and closed her mouth twice without making any sound, then slowly turned to look at Emily, shaking her head in disbelief. “What’s wrong?”
Still unable to answer, she just pointed at Garcia.
Not able to see what the problem was, Emily turned her attention to the other woman in the room, who was saying something about her keyboard, as well as the strange blue box sitting next to it.
“And the best part is that not only are there four USB 2.0 ports, but that when you press this button on the front the light on the roof flashes and the sound effect is so perfect!”
Looking closely, Emily realised that the blue object Garcia was talking about indeed seemed familiar. Searching her memory, she finally realised what it looked like. “Is that from Doctor Who?”
Spinning in her chair, Garcia shot her a look of absolute horror. “My tall, raven haired beauty, of course it’s from Doctor Who! How can call yourself a nerd and not be sure of this?”
Emily was completely unable to respond as, the whole time Garcia had been talking, she’d been staring at what had stopped JJ dead in her tracks. “Um . . .” She desperately tried to find words which would allow her to ask some sort of coherent question. “Pen? It’s not Halloween, is it?”
“Of course not, my confuzzled friend. Today is the day when lovers everywhere express that love to their intimate companions with tokens of affection. Why do you ask?” Garcia was at her perkiest and happiest, and the words came out in a flurry which it took Emily a second to decipher.
“Did Kevin bring you any jelly donuts today?” She still felt as though she was fighting her way through a fog to get to coherent thought.
“No, my lovely. My little god of geekdom tried to bring in a bacon donut this morning, but as soon as I caught the smell of it I banished him from the Love Cave until it was gone.”
Emily was momentarily distracted from the image in front of her as her brain tried to process exactly what a bacon donut might be, and why the thought of it made her feel like gagging. Seeing a look of horror on JJ’s face beside her, she was relieved to discover that she wasn’t the only one who thought that way. Trying to get back to the original topic, she realised that her brain felt like Beaker’s sometimes looked after one of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew’s less than successful experiments.
“And you’re not doing some sort of weird Twlight Valentine’s with Kevin?” Emily was a trained interrogator, and had grilled countless suspects, but in this conversation with Garcia she knew she sounded rather more like Forrest Gump.
Losing some of her excitement, Garcia gave her a slightly hurt look. “No. What’s wrong, my dear?”
They both stared at her, unable to figure out how to broach what was obviously becoming a delicate question. Unfortunately, the longer they stood there, the more subdued Garcia became.
Overcoming her silence, it was JJ who finally found blurted out what they were obviously both thinking. “Then why do you have blood all over your chin, your shirt, and even on your hands?”
“WHAT?!” The cry was more of a screech, and the technical analyst floundered to open a draw and pull out a mirror. “Oh no! Why didn’t you say something?” Garcia fixed her friends with an accusing glare.
JJ and Emily looked at each other. “We did.” Their voices came out close enough together that Emily almost expected Garcia to call ‘jinx’.
“So what’s with the . . . blood?” Emily tried to sound positive, and not like she’d walked in and found that one of her closest friends had been replaced with a bizarre flesh eating doppelganger.
Reaching for some hand wipes, Garcia sighed. “It was the other thing that Kevin gave me for Valentine’s Day - a Giant Bleeding Gummy Heart. It was so delicious I didn’t realise just how gooey it was.”
“A giant what?” Emily didn’t have the chance to ask the question before JJ did.
“Gummy heart! You know, like a gummy bear, only bigger and much juicier. It was wonderful.” She almost moaned in delight at the memory.
Emily and JJ exchanged another glance. While she had liked gummy bears when she was younger, she now preferred something a little more refined as a present - like Godiva chocolate. On the other hand, she wasn’t anywhere near the geek that her friend was, and she suspected that this gummy heart was very much a geek thing.
“Well, let’s get you cleaned up before we have our cupcakes. You did bring cupcakes didn’t you, Pen?”
Garcia shot her another horrified look. “Of course I did! It would be sacrilege if I’d forgotten.” As she rose from her chair, Emily caught sight of her keyboard, which she vaguely remembered Garcia mentioning immediately after they’d walked in the room. It was a sleek, glossy black, and not one single key had any sort of letter or character on it.
“Did you know that there aren’t any letters on your keyboard?”
Emily had to step back from the intense glare she received in response to her comment. “Were you not listening as I explained to you the virtues of Das Keyboard, the ultimate keyboard for über fast typists like my wonderful self?”
“I guess I was distracted by all the blood and ah . . .” Emily wracked her brain for the name of the darn blue thing. “And the Tardis!” she exclaimed triumphantly. She really hoped that the truth would help dig her out of the hole into which she had obviously descended.
Garcia looked at her suspiciously. “I’ll forgive you - this time. But don’t ignore explanations of my technology in the future!” With that she whirled around and headed towards the door.
Grateful that she’d escaped any further details about the keyboard, Emily followed Garcia from the room, JJ tagging along behind with a bemused expression on her face. If this was what Valentine’s Day gifts were about, she thought, maybe she was better off buying her own Godiva after all.
A/N2: All gifts mentioned in this story are real, and are available online. Perhaps your Valentine would like a Giant Gummy Bleeding Heart as well?