New fic: Lenny Goes Golfing (1/1), safe for everyone
This is a sort of sequel to the ficlet that lisayaeger wrote yesterday. I apologise in advance if you're not on her flist as I think it's a locked post, but all really you need to know to understand this is that Lenny is the doorman at the building where General O'Neill lives in DC, and he opens the door on one occasion for both O'Neill and a Ms. Carter. And in the end, Jack asks if he can go golfing with Lenny (who is counting the hours remaining before his retirement).
It's really not as complicated as it sounds. Honest!
Anyway, without further ado ...
*****
Saturday, 6:45am
Lenny Walker stood waiting at the starter's booth at Rock Creek Golf Course. Unusually, General O'Neill was late. In the few months that Lenny had known General O'Neill, that had only happened once - well, at least what Lenny had considered late anyway. And in retrospect, the General hadn't really been late at all. And yet today, a day that the General had asked to join Lenny for a round of golf, he was late for their tee time. Lenny tried not to check his watch as he wondered whether a certain blonde Air Force officer was delaying the General again.
"Lenny!"
The familiar voice almost made Lenny jump, and he turned to see General O'Neill standing beside a much larger African-American man. The first thought that crossed Lenny's mind was how had the General managed to get behind him? Lenny had been watching the path from the clubhouse and there weren't any other ways to the starter's booth - unless the General had already been on the course, which seemed unlikely given the time.
"Ready to play?"
"Yes, sir."
"Hope you don't mind, but I brought along my friend Murray. He loves the game, though he's a bit of a hacker if you ask me."
Lenny noticed the larger man's eyebrow cock in what seemed to be amusement, though Lenny wasn't sure he wanted to find out if it was anything else.
"Of course not, sir" Lenny said, wondering what on earth he'd got himself into.
"Before we start, there's one ground rule - you can't keep calling me ‘Sir'. Call me Jack."
"Um ... yes, s- ... I mean, Jack."
The starter coughed in a not quite discrete manner. He and Lenny were friends, as Lenny usually covered the afternoons - his way of getting on the course every weekend without having to pay the exorbitant green fees.
"Sorry, Bob" he said to his friend, who was looking a little anxiously at the clock in the booth. "Don't want to hold up the schedule. I'll let you have the honor Gen ... Jack."
The three proceeded down to the tee-box, and Lenny watched as the General prepared for his first stroke of the day. He took a few practice swings, before proceeding to violently slice the ball into some trees a mere hundred yards down the fairway. He muttered under his breath, before directing a baleful glare at Murray.
"Not a word. Not. A. Word."
Murray merely raised an eyebrow again, and then prepared for his own tee shot. Lining things up, he slammed an absolute screamer straight down the middle of the fairway, with the ball finally stopping either on the green or very close by. It would have been a good shot from a professional, let alone an amateur, and Lenny knew it was going to be a struggle to keep up with this player.
For his own starting shot, Lenny managed to put the ball on the fairway in good position for a second shot towards the green. Not his best stroke ever, but then at his age it was more about staying out of the rough than trying to hit the cover off the ball every time.
Each player then proceeded down the fairway, Lenny and Murray both going over to the right to help the General find where his ball had ended up. Hopefully it wouldn't be too hard to find amid the heavy rough under the trees. Unfortunately, after several minutes of searching, a lot of muttering from the General, and Lenny calling the group behind them to play through, there was still no sign of the ball. Lenny was just about to say that he thought the General would need to take a drop and a penalty when he heard a shout of joy from back on the fairway, and when he looked that way, Lenny saw the General pointing down.
"Found it! It must have taken a lucky bounce off a tree and ended up back here."
Lenny wasn't convinced. He was sure no ball had been there when they'd first started looking. Apparently Murray held the same opinion.
"That is not your ball, O'Neill."
"Sure it is T-Murray. It's a Titleist Pro number 5. That's what I was playing with. You can even see the small yellow mark you saw me put on it before we started."
Murray looked dubiously at the ball. "There was no ball in that location before we commenced our search."
"How else could it have got here? You must have missed it ... Murray."
Murray frowned again. "Indeed." He sounded about as convinced as Lenny felt, but Lenny'd had many fortunate lies in his years, so he didn't think it was right to question this one. Especially as he'd need a bit of luck himself before the day was out, so Lenny gave no objection as the General lined up for his second shot towards the green.
As had happened with the General's first shot, the ball started to slice to the right fairly soon after being hit. This time though, the ball straightened up and almost came back to the left before landing in a decent position near the front of the green.
"Shot!"
The General seemed very happy with the stroke, as Lenny would have been if he'd been the one playing the ball. Murray, on the other hand, didn't seem at all convinced.
"I believe you are cheating, O'Neill."
"What? How can you say that!"
Lenny was shocked. To accuse another player of cheating, especially after just a couple of lucky shots, seemed pretty extreme. It didn't seem to deter Murray though, who stalked over to O'Neill and proceeded to remove what looked like a small stone from his pocket.
"You will not be needing this then."
"Awww, come on, T. I wasn't going to use that. You know I wouldn't do that."
Murray simply stared impassively. "You already have." And despite continued whining from the General, Murray remained unmoved. "I will return it at the conclusion of the match."
*****
Saturday, 11:53am
On returning to the clubhouse after playing all 18 holes, Lenny wasn't really surprised to see the attractive Ms. Carter waiting for them. The General, however, seemed less than enthusiastic, muttering under his breath again - something he seemed to have done a lot during the past five hours.
"Hi guys. How was the game?"
The corners of Murray's mouth curved up slightly. "I do not believe that O'Neill enjoyed it as much as Lenny and me."
"Why? What happened?"
"O'Neill lost his Thor iron on the first hole."
While Lenny tried to figure out what Murray was talking about, he saw Ms. Carter smirk, and then cover her mouth as she had a nasty coughing fit.
"Oh just charming, Carter!"
Ms. Carter coughed even harder, and Lenny solicitously hurried over to make sure she was okay. She waved him off though, and Lenny saw she actually had tears streaming out of her eyes. Whatever the joke was, he was the only one not getting it. Even Murray looked as close to laughing as he'd been that day.
He obviously must have looked somewhat bewildered, as Ms. Carter finally managed to get her coughing under control and looked apologetically at him. "Sorry, Lenny. Inside joke."
"Never mind, Miss. Unfortunately, I have to go as I'm running the starter's booth shortly and I need to grab some lunch first. Care to join me?"
"Perhaps next time, Lenny. Have a nice afternoon."
Lenny made his way to the clubhouse to drop his sticks and grab a bite, but when he looked back all three had disappeared. Somehow Lenny wasn't entirely surprised. It had certainly been an interesting round of golf, though he wasn't sure he'd play with the General anytime soon.
~end~
Thanks to sjhw_tolerance for the beta!
More humorous than fluffy, but that's me I suppose. :)
It's really not as complicated as it sounds. Honest!
Anyway, without further ado ...
*****
Saturday, 6:45am
Lenny Walker stood waiting at the starter's booth at Rock Creek Golf Course. Unusually, General O'Neill was late. In the few months that Lenny had known General O'Neill, that had only happened once - well, at least what Lenny had considered late anyway. And in retrospect, the General hadn't really been late at all. And yet today, a day that the General had asked to join Lenny for a round of golf, he was late for their tee time. Lenny tried not to check his watch as he wondered whether a certain blonde Air Force officer was delaying the General again.
"Lenny!"
The familiar voice almost made Lenny jump, and he turned to see General O'Neill standing beside a much larger African-American man. The first thought that crossed Lenny's mind was how had the General managed to get behind him? Lenny had been watching the path from the clubhouse and there weren't any other ways to the starter's booth - unless the General had already been on the course, which seemed unlikely given the time.
"Ready to play?"
"Yes, sir."
"Hope you don't mind, but I brought along my friend Murray. He loves the game, though he's a bit of a hacker if you ask me."
Lenny noticed the larger man's eyebrow cock in what seemed to be amusement, though Lenny wasn't sure he wanted to find out if it was anything else.
"Of course not, sir" Lenny said, wondering what on earth he'd got himself into.
"Before we start, there's one ground rule - you can't keep calling me ‘Sir'. Call me Jack."
"Um ... yes, s- ... I mean, Jack."
The starter coughed in a not quite discrete manner. He and Lenny were friends, as Lenny usually covered the afternoons - his way of getting on the course every weekend without having to pay the exorbitant green fees.
"Sorry, Bob" he said to his friend, who was looking a little anxiously at the clock in the booth. "Don't want to hold up the schedule. I'll let you have the honor Gen ... Jack."
The three proceeded down to the tee-box, and Lenny watched as the General prepared for his first stroke of the day. He took a few practice swings, before proceeding to violently slice the ball into some trees a mere hundred yards down the fairway. He muttered under his breath, before directing a baleful glare at Murray.
"Not a word. Not. A. Word."
Murray merely raised an eyebrow again, and then prepared for his own tee shot. Lining things up, he slammed an absolute screamer straight down the middle of the fairway, with the ball finally stopping either on the green or very close by. It would have been a good shot from a professional, let alone an amateur, and Lenny knew it was going to be a struggle to keep up with this player.
For his own starting shot, Lenny managed to put the ball on the fairway in good position for a second shot towards the green. Not his best stroke ever, but then at his age it was more about staying out of the rough than trying to hit the cover off the ball every time.
Each player then proceeded down the fairway, Lenny and Murray both going over to the right to help the General find where his ball had ended up. Hopefully it wouldn't be too hard to find amid the heavy rough under the trees. Unfortunately, after several minutes of searching, a lot of muttering from the General, and Lenny calling the group behind them to play through, there was still no sign of the ball. Lenny was just about to say that he thought the General would need to take a drop and a penalty when he heard a shout of joy from back on the fairway, and when he looked that way, Lenny saw the General pointing down.
"Found it! It must have taken a lucky bounce off a tree and ended up back here."
Lenny wasn't convinced. He was sure no ball had been there when they'd first started looking. Apparently Murray held the same opinion.
"That is not your ball, O'Neill."
"Sure it is T-Murray. It's a Titleist Pro number 5. That's what I was playing with. You can even see the small yellow mark you saw me put on it before we started."
Murray looked dubiously at the ball. "There was no ball in that location before we commenced our search."
"How else could it have got here? You must have missed it ... Murray."
Murray frowned again. "Indeed." He sounded about as convinced as Lenny felt, but Lenny'd had many fortunate lies in his years, so he didn't think it was right to question this one. Especially as he'd need a bit of luck himself before the day was out, so Lenny gave no objection as the General lined up for his second shot towards the green.
As had happened with the General's first shot, the ball started to slice to the right fairly soon after being hit. This time though, the ball straightened up and almost came back to the left before landing in a decent position near the front of the green.
"Shot!"
The General seemed very happy with the stroke, as Lenny would have been if he'd been the one playing the ball. Murray, on the other hand, didn't seem at all convinced.
"I believe you are cheating, O'Neill."
"What? How can you say that!"
Lenny was shocked. To accuse another player of cheating, especially after just a couple of lucky shots, seemed pretty extreme. It didn't seem to deter Murray though, who stalked over to O'Neill and proceeded to remove what looked like a small stone from his pocket.
"You will not be needing this then."
"Awww, come on, T. I wasn't going to use that. You know I wouldn't do that."
Murray simply stared impassively. "You already have." And despite continued whining from the General, Murray remained unmoved. "I will return it at the conclusion of the match."
*****
Saturday, 11:53am
On returning to the clubhouse after playing all 18 holes, Lenny wasn't really surprised to see the attractive Ms. Carter waiting for them. The General, however, seemed less than enthusiastic, muttering under his breath again - something he seemed to have done a lot during the past five hours.
"Hi guys. How was the game?"
The corners of Murray's mouth curved up slightly. "I do not believe that O'Neill enjoyed it as much as Lenny and me."
"Why? What happened?"
"O'Neill lost his Thor iron on the first hole."
While Lenny tried to figure out what Murray was talking about, he saw Ms. Carter smirk, and then cover her mouth as she had a nasty coughing fit.
"Oh just charming, Carter!"
Ms. Carter coughed even harder, and Lenny solicitously hurried over to make sure she was okay. She waved him off though, and Lenny saw she actually had tears streaming out of her eyes. Whatever the joke was, he was the only one not getting it. Even Murray looked as close to laughing as he'd been that day.
He obviously must have looked somewhat bewildered, as Ms. Carter finally managed to get her coughing under control and looked apologetically at him. "Sorry, Lenny. Inside joke."
"Never mind, Miss. Unfortunately, I have to go as I'm running the starter's booth shortly and I need to grab some lunch first. Care to join me?"
"Perhaps next time, Lenny. Have a nice afternoon."
Lenny made his way to the clubhouse to drop his sticks and grab a bite, but when he looked back all three had disappeared. Somehow Lenny wasn't entirely surprised. It had certainly been an interesting round of golf, though he wasn't sure he'd play with the General anytime soon.
~end~
Thanks to sjhw_tolerance for the beta!
More humorous than fluffy, but that's me I suppose. :)